Wednesday, May 25, 2016

My Rocket to Destroy the Whole World, Part 1

As the highsec saying goes, "When the Cat's away, the miners will AFK." Unfortunately for the bot-aspirant miner, if you're AFK, you can't tell when a Catalyst is inbound.

Some Agents of the New Order have such a presence that the mere appearance of their name in local is enough to stimulate compliance. And if not compliance, then at least fear or some other kind of activity. Bing Bangboom is one of those Agents.
Bing Bangboom > Yes, any highsec system is covered by a permit
Bing Bangboom > great value... for any of you economists.
ComedianII > Why it would be silly to lose a ship to save only 10M
Zed Lander > The price for a permit is 10mil, but the cost is far higher
When Bing enters local, the system springs to life, reacting as though a rock star has walked onto the stage.
Bing Bangboom > We fight against the bots and bot aspirants.
SalvaSnow > lots of agents are...racketeers?
Bing Bangboom > law enforcement
Bing Bangboom > you mispelled it.
SalvaSnow > I did. Much more fun your way
Bing Bangboom > More fun is the point of emergent gameplay
Nez Tradesman > I kinda apperiate his presence, but to be fair, you code guys keep things alive aswell, I dont mind you
And when Bing's not around, the locals talk about him. Unless talking or thinking about or reacting to Agents of the New Order, a highsec system is generally dead. In a very real way, the Code keeps EVE alive.
EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Erenta
Spine Ripper > no mining without a permit
Rfotq NoName > Have any shit to ask permission not necessary - fuck you
Bing Bangboom moved to the Erenta system and scanned for rebel miners. He spotted a small flock of them, consisting of Rfotq NoName and his alts. Bing's own ganker alt, Spine Ripper, didn't even need to land on grid. NoName's mining fleet preemptively evacuated the asteroid belt and docked up. It was a tremendous victory for the New Order, and it didn't even require a shot to be fired. NoName cursed his rotten luck.
Bing Bangboom > The Code requires all miners to speak respectfully to Agents at all times.
Bing Bangboom >
Bing Bangboom >
Bing Bangboom > The Code in Russian
Bing gave NoName the benefit of the doubt by assuming the miner's broken English indicated he wasn't a native speaker. Based on NoName's profile and his own knowledge of the Erenta neighborhood, Bing concluded that the miner would benefit from a Russian translation of the Code.
Rfotq NoName > I already told you where to go - fuck you . Rules write only for myself , but I am a free man
Rfotq NoName > Who is he that would write rules for all? He's a nobody! and his name is not as - so fuck you
Bing Bangboom > I can't help but notice that you aren't mining.
Rfotq NoName > in plain language explain to me what your rules are not needed?
Bing Bangboom > I provided it to you in Russian... have you read it?
Our Agent stretched out the hand of friendship. Now it was time for NoName to do likewise, by paying Bing 10 million isk.
Rfotq NoName > Friend you do not confuse the Russian and Finno-Ugric language
Rfotq NoName > I read and speak only in this language
Bing Bangboom > Great. Then go to and The Code is right at the top
Bing Bangboom > Then you will understand the rules.
Rfotq NoName > Are you stupid - apparently so bad that do not understand
Rfotq NoName > I told them, fuck all of you
Unfortunately, we don't yet have a Finno-Ugric translation of the Code. Maybe NoName could have paid for a permit, joined the Order, and written one for us. Then he could've helped himself and his fellow Finno-Ugrics. But NoName chose to be an angry, docked-up Goofus instead. What a missed opportunity for everyone.
Bing Bangboom > I explained it to you but I can't understand it for you.
Bing Bangboom > No mining in New Order systems without a permit.
Bing Bangboom > Easy to understand.
Rfotq NoName > Will command where there is a subordinate - then you don't have them
Bing Bangboom > Its James 315 's rule. I just enforce it.
Highsec miners are bad at PvP. They only know how to shoot two things: Asteroids and the messenger.
Rfotq NoName > Bing Bangboom Itself you can? just to say that? or is it to do?
Bing Bangboom > I'm the local Agent. There are plenty more if I need help.
Bing Bangboom > Which I don't.
Rfotq NoName > Understand - well then sorry - you said - and I said - let's goodbye
Bing Bangboom > you are leaving highsec?
Rfotq NoName > Yes , from Highsec to your house
NoName's mining fleet was cooling its heels in the station, but NoName's temper was only heating up.
Bing Bangboom > ah... I see
Bing Bangboom > should I be worried?
Rfotq NoName > Friend remember finami need to speak respectfully
Bing Bangboom > I am always polite
Rfotq NoName > and then you come out of Finland - will give pizdyuley - then mother will not remember and will not collect
Bing's Finno-Ugric was a little rusty, but he was pretty sure NoName was committing more Code violations.
Bing Bangboom > what's pizdyuley ?
Rfotq NoName > you will not collect
Bing Bangboom > 10 million each is pretty cheap
Rfotq NoName > ratebut you to pieces Hamachi
Rfotq NoName > Bing Bangboom But who are you?
Rfotq NoName > Are you a developer from Iceland?
Highsec miners have a language all their own. NoName was pulling the "only CCP can make rules for the game" card. Though if NoName made good on his promise to visit Bing's house, I doubt the visit would be a EULA-compliant one.
Bing Bangboom > I told you. I'm the local Agent for the New Order of Highsec. You were mining in our space. So, you have to follow the Code.
Rfotq NoName > No? - then you can go fuck yourself
Bing Bangboom > back to the bad language?
Bing Bangboom > I thought we had moved past taht.
Rfotq NoName > Yeah shit I'm on everything your imagination wanted - shit and going to shit
You see that last line? That's not a thing that a miner says before buying a permit. Things were getting dangerously out of control.
Bing Bangboom > See, I don't mind destroying your ships but I'd rather you just buy permits and follow the Code.
Rfotq NoName > Get the fuck out of here
Rfotq NoName > You are no one
Bing Bangboom > I'm not leaving.
Bing Bangboom > Its my responsibility that Erenta be Code compliant and I'm not shirking my responsibility
NoName demanded that Bing leave Erenta. Bing refused. Now both sides were entrenched, and neither showed any signs of backing down. (Aside from NoName's fleet docking up when Bing entered local, that is.)

To be continued...


  1. "Highsec miners are bad at PvP. They only know how to shoot two things: Asteroids and the messenger." - comedy gold!!

  2. "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry," - James 1:19 NIV

  3. I'ma hazzard a guess here and say that this NoName guy is gonna shed an inordinant ammount tears before this is over.

    How could a person let themself lose control to that extent? How can you get that mad over EvE?
    I'ma tell ya how. They are immature.

    There is no valid excuse offered by the ag crowd for this kind of behavior. It does not matter what you lose in this game, as long as you don't lose control.

    CCP should permaban every carebear that loses control like this. Not just the account, but the IP. This behavior alone should show CCP that the player has not matured enough to be a good client.

    For their own good, to help them learn, AND to protect the rest of the normal EvE community, these homies gotta go mang!

    @544- i too thought that was a great line. You can tell James understands.

    1. You are an irredeemable imbecile BM, and you have not the wit to recognize it. MAC address blacklisting is quite feasible. They will not guarantee perfect uniqueness, the probability of false positives is low. Almost as low as the chances of an intelligent post by you.

    2. None of it works, ip bans don't work, Mac addresses are easy to spoof & hardware signatures are easy to change. In short permanent bans are stupid because you can only ban the account, not the person. Bans should be 24 hours to 90 days.

    3. "Almost as low as the chances of an intelligent post by you."


    4. Anon 957: Wrong again. You are the real idiot here, the idiot of Miner Bumping. So allow my to educate you.

      1. MAC addresses can be changed. There are various utilities which are distributed by the various networking chipset manufacturers that allow for this.

      2. MAC addresses are only valid for a broadcast domain. In other words, you can use a MAC address as long as you are connected through a hub or switch. If you go through an actual router, then all bets are off because the MAC address does not get passed along.

      3. Do you even know what a MAC address is? It is the hardware address of the network adapter. It is embedded into the header of the ethernet frame when a packet is sent on the wire. Going by the OSI model, it is representative of layer 2.

      Hubs just repeat anything received on a port onto every other port. A switch routes based on the MAC address. As devices turn on, or perform periodic hearbeat/keep alive pings, the switch learns which MAC addresses are on which ports so only traffic for a particular MAC address is sent. A router routes on layer 3 which is the IP address. So once a packet crosses a router, the MAC address that you get is for the router itself.

      And in case you are wondering, there is a little something called ARP which is the Address Resolution Protocol. That is what binds a MAC address to a IP address in the ARP table of each device within a broadcast domain. If you think I am lying, then do it yourself: arp -a on any command prompt (Unix/Linux/Windows) and you will get a list of all the physical devices that the computer knows about on the network.

      So Anon 957 and Anon 1133, any other dumbass comments to make yourself look more like an idiot?

      Fiddly Pop: I agree with you on that one.


    5. Once again, Anon 208 has posted his ignorance for the world to see. Now his argument has been reduced from name calling an insults to just name calling and accusations which he cannot back up. Just sad really.

      Reminds me of the miner who lost his mind in the previous blog post...however I think that miner was an NO agent who posed as a miner to 'generate content' for this blog. However, that requires a level of critical thinking, which has been demonstrated on multiple occasions, NO agents do not possess.


    6. BM can you link the wikipedia article you ctrl c'd from please thanks

    7. Wolf, wolfie, wolfie boy, what are we going to do with you? I didn't CTRL-C anything. Prove that I did. Oh wait, that's right, you CAN'T. Nice attempt at trolling me, but you failed, again.


    8. BM is especially flustered today isn't he. Poor little guy

    9. Funny how code and code supporters act when they are proven wrong about something. Resorting to insulting and acting like a baby. Why can't you guys have a conversation like an adult and argue your points and counter arguments with facts? Throwing insults makes you look like a school kid.

    10. BM, don't bother explaining it to them. They just know how to follow fleet warps and push F1. Concepts like OSI just confuse them. Just make "Beep-Boop" sounds for the technical stuff.

  4. Replies
    1. A story for the grandkids for sure!

    2. Both of you need new material.


  5. **************SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!**************

    antigankers failed.....


    1. A story for the grandkids for sure!

    2. You two still need new material.

      Nothing to see here folks, move along.


    3. BM fag you dont know shit about puters you walleyed fuk! Go back to your macaroni art friend.

  6. Butthurt Miner failed again! Daily! He must be an AG leader!

  7. lol'd multiple times. keep up the great work.

  8. But where oh where is Ming?

  9. Always look forward to a Bing Bangboom story; he's a true professional - and an entertaining one, at that!

  10. Dude piss off. This is a blog for a computer game. Don't post your garbage here.

  11. This is a story for the grandchildren!!

  12. It's a bot it can't understand you

  13. This is so fun! What a great idea. Also I love how authentic you seem to be. Your style and passion for blogging is contagious. Thank you for sharing your life!


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