Wednesday, June 8, 2016

A Day In His Shoes, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Mihai Albescu reported to the Elonaya system to embark on a bumping campaign in the ice anomaly. Initially, the miners were smug and skeptical. They assumed the bumps would be ineffective, or that their Skiffs could evade Mihai's Stabber. Before long, however, Mihai completely cleared the ice anomaly of miners. Now they could only attempt to reason with him--and he with them.
Andrev en Tilavine > yawn ... fly a CAT, enforce the CODE. Even Skiff pilots are in 'violation' ... pathetic effort
Mihai Albescu > Skiff and procurers are recommended under the Code, but in order to be compliant you need to pay us. It's a token gesture to indicate solidarity.
Andrev en Tilavine > there's your error. it's "...need to pay THEM" because you aren't it, scammer.
Andrev en Tilavine > you aren't CODE. come back to me when I see CODE. as an Alliance ticker under your corp logo.
Remember the days when highsec miners scoffed at the CODE. alliance? Now it's the gold standard of highsec power and respectability.
Mihai Albescu > That's another misconception. The New Order is a huge movement across New Eden. CODE. is just the main branch.
Andrev en Tilavine > and fly a CAT ... and blow isht up. THEN someone else will take you seriously
Mihai Albescu > Miners often say that they "would have paid" if we'd taken a more gentle approach. I though I'd give it a try.
Andrev en Tilavine > it is what it is. best of luck to you.
Our Agent was perceptive enough to see right through the miners' hypocrisy. When we gank them, they whine that they'd rather be warned and bumped like in the old days. When we bump them, they whine that they'd rather be ganked.
Sarie Thiesant > They should make it if you bump repeatedly you flag suspicious
Mihai Albescu > Haha, people said that 4 years ago
Sarie Thiesant > It will come.
Another bitter irony: When Mihai started bumping her, Sarie laughed and gave him the "bumping won't do anything" treatment. Now that she'd been removed from the ice anomaly, she considered bumping to be overpowered and in need of a nerf.

(Also, "Nerfs will come. They must come.")
Mihai Albescu > Digital Mirror Without a permit, you will be bumped out of range. This is not random harassment
Sarie Thiesant > Mihai Albescu Did you just admit to harrassment?
Sarie Thiesant > That is not allowed.
Mihai Albescu > Don't tell me you're a space lawyer too Sarie Thiesant :P You obviously haven't read
Sarie Thiesant > Nah... Just get your facts straight.
Mihai was chillin' by himself in the ice anomaly when he spotted an unwelcome sight: Digital Mirror's Retriever warped in.
Mihai Albescu > I don't need to hear about facts from you, you don't even have a permit, silly.
Sarie Thiesant > I don't need one silly.
Mihai Albescu > Everybody needs a permit to use James 315 space. You must have been living under a rock.
Sarie Thiesant > lol.... he was permaband.
Mihai Albescu > Wrong again
Sarie Thiesant > No he definately was... and his story was so boring to read.
Carebears lack knowledge. Even worse, they're absolutely confident that they're knowledgeable. Sarie again insisted that I am permabanned from EVE. Even when corrected by an Agent, she persisted in her ignorance.
Mihai Albescu > Digital Mirror are you a bot? You seem even more senseless than the average ice miner.
Sarie Thiesant > pot calling the kettle?
Mihai Albescu > Accuse me of what you will, but I'm at my keyboard..
Mihai Albescu > Now why would you not support a movement with the goal of eliminating bots like Digital Mirror? It's in everybody's best interest.
Sarie Thiesant > Negative. That's completely false.
All the other miners Mihai had dealt with that day were in Skiffs and Procurers. Digital Mirror's was the first Retriever he'd seen. He suspected Digital of being a bot. When his suspicions were confirmed, Sarie suggested that stopping bots wasn't a worthy cause.
Mihai Albescu > *bump* look at that retriever fly
Mihai Albescu > Retrievers are against the Code. All miners are required to tank their ships.
Sarie Thiesant > Simple supply and demand mechanics. Eliminating them only drives market prices up. Thus making fleets more expensive, keeping more people from attending, affecting SOV and killboards.
According to Sarie, bots are good for EVE, because they keeps prices down, which lets people cheaply fly combat ships in nullsec. The enemies of the New Order not only bot-aspirant; they're openly, literally pro-bot.
Mihai Albescu > That's right, eliminating bots prevents ore from devalued, making you richer.
Sarie Thiesant > I prefer content over isk....
Sarie Thiesant > Most probably do.
Mihai Albescu > Bots don't provide content. But you must love me :-}
Side note: I've never bought into the idea that cheap ships are good for the game, particularly where nullsec PvP is concerned. One of EVE's unique selling points is that PvP has lasting consequences, that you can inflict meaningful losses on your opponents. Making all ships cheap, well, cheapens the PvP. If everyone can afford everything, then you may as well play on the test server.
Mihai Albescu > Lili Feefix You have entered James 315 space. Pay me 10M ISK or risk bumping.
Mihai Albescu > Shogun Tokugawa Iyeyasu That goes for you too. Are you at your keyboard?
Ranik Sandaris > PRAISE JAMES 315
Zeyrina Sevraque > YES ALL PRAISE THE CODE
Other miners occasionally entered the system to check out the ice anomaly, only to be bumped and forced to retreat. Some Gallants showed up, too.
Sarie Thiesant > You could just declare war against me. Make this good content.
Mihai Albescu > Nah, you'd just dock up. Miners are motivated by ISK. Besides, we have gank catalysts.
Sarie Thiesant > Let me get this straight. You bump me for an hour, don't like miners, want to put me on a red pen list and don't want to declare war? Pffff.... James 315. lol......
Sarie Thiesant > Then you have this guy who isn't even part of CODE.
Sarie had no choice but to sit in a station and stew. She tried to negotiate an alternative to bumping, but was unsuccessful. She grumbled that Mihai wasn't in CODE., an alliance which apparently has legitimacy in her eyes now.
Mihai Albescu > Sarie Thiesant doesn't realize that the New Order is more than just CODE yet. I am performing revolutionary acts against these noncompliants.
Ranik Sandaris > think of it like this right
Ranik Sandaris > bots are bad
Ranik Sandaris > do you agree with that statement?
Sarie Thiesant > lol it has nothing to do with bots. they target everyone.
Others in local tried to reason with her. The pro-bot, bot-aspirant miner now attempted to disassociate herself from the bots.
Mihai Albescu > These people have the tanky ship part down pat, they're clearly afraid of ganks, but they fail on the permit side.
Ranik Sandaris > ^
Ranik Sandaris > 10m for a permit
Ranik Sandaris > its not gonna break the bank
Sarie Thiesant > how'd you like losing a bunch of space?
Ranik Sandaris > i never owned any
Reasonable people love the Code. Unreasonable ones can't understand why they keep failing continuously nonstop daily.
Mihai Albescu > Well it's time for me to go to bed. Congratulations everybody for at least being present at your keyboards, even if you are permitless heathens. Praise James!
Ranik Sandaris > PRAISE JAMES
Mihai had done well. Thanks to his efforts, Elonaya sparkled. The rebel carebears were exposed as helpless, hypocritical, and pro-bot. Just another day in the New Order.


  1. "The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments." - Habakkuk 3:19 KJV

  2. Kids story for the grandkids.

  3. Mihai Albescu > Shogun Tokugawa Iyeyasu..

    I for one am disgusted that a carebear cannot spell Ieyasu's name correctly. SHAMEFUR DISPRAY

  4. Ranik Sandaris > ERASE JAMES

  5. This is a story for the children and grandchildren!!

  6. But where is AG to save carebears from those shoes?

  7. But where oh where is Ming?

  8. Elonaya holds a special place in my heart. During the conquest of Highsec it was on the front lines, with many glorious victories for the New Order being won there. Glad to see its still being looked after so diligently.


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