Sunday, June 5, 2016

Kills of the Week

It was another disastrous week for the highsec carebears, who suffered numerous defeats at the hands of victorious New Order forces. The smartest of the carebears have already renounced their former bot-aspirancy and have embraced the Code. The rest, I'm afraid, are doomed to repeat the miseries they experienced during the week of May 29th @ 00:00 EVEtime through June 4th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

Horener considered himself superior to his fellow Code-violating freighter pilots. He triple-bulkheaded his Obelisk and kept to the higher-security systems. He even avoided Uedama. However, he made two key mistakes: His cargo was too expensive, and he failed to purchase a mining permit.

Despite his nearly 350,000 hitpoints, he was doomed. A massive gank fleet took him down: Agents Jason Kuison, SynthiaGreey, Jayson Kusion, Etrisa, Oryae Veris, Prixm Wind, Unwarranted Assumption, yogizh, Logical Fallacy, Freighter Repo, Turkey Baster, Collateralized Contracts, Joel Kusion, Unfit ForDoody, Anthologee, Jack Fizzleblade, Jake Kusion, Hold my pleb, Hayley, Miner Compliance Officer, Nin Rin, Joshua Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Logical Fatality, Jayden Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jet Set Milly, Shoulda paidthe Ransom, Nullus Modus, Hermann Fizzleblade, BAE B PEW, Archibald Fizzleblade, BAE B BLUE, Nice Freighter, Alicia Adler, Yvain Bluewater, Franz Fizzleblade, River Almond, Irisz Renalard, Max Moondi, Mama Ohaya, Perlo Tissant, dAbOsSlAdY77, Mikan Teohu, Ryko Akiga, uziel99, Knackered Old Goat, Skeezy McSkeez, and Kiro Feras.

If you want to transport a Fortizar, given how expensive these things are, nothing less than explicit approval from an Agent of the New Order will do.

Jacen Trinh's Mackinaw is a study in what can go wrong when a miner deviates from the Code. Look at this mess. Not only was the Mackinaw equipped with ORE Strip Miners--an illegal decadence--the ship was capacitor tanked. It soon attracted the attention of Agents FunTimesForYOu, Kerberus IV, and vaok Aldent. The shockingly AFK Jacen Trinh didn't bother to respond to the attack. Seventeen minutes later, the gankers returned to deal with his 1.4 billion isk pod.

Zluka Hita's outrageous 2.8 billion isk Golem was caught without a license in Uedama, which is Kusion country. They don't take well to Golems in Kusion country. Agents Johnathan Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jason Kusion, and Joel Kusion landed on the Golem as soon as he decloaked. The good news is, the carebear had enough sense to return to his keyboard and activate his active tank modules. That was sufficient to prevent the Kusion clan's DPS from destroying his ship. The Golem survived the attack long enough for CONCORD to arrive and shut down the gank.

Now for the bad news: Zluka couldn't resist leeching off the CONCORD mails...

...with his faction smartbomb.

Yes, Zluka managed to get his 2.8 billion isk Golem CONCORDed. (It's almost as if the CODE always wins, always!) Zluka's smartbomb triggered CONCORD and the gate guns when it hit the Kusion clan's neutral scout alt. The alt earned a kill right on Zluka, which was set at 150 million isk. Surprisingly, someone purchased the kill right a few days later. You see, Zluka was spotted piloting another 2.5 billion isk Golem in Perimeter. It was incinerated (along with an 800 million isk pod).

That's not the worst part, though.

Just as his Golem was taking its dying breath, Zluka activated his smartbomb and hit a neutral. So once again, someone has a kill right on Zluka. Could this dizzy carebear go on chaining expensive Golem losses indefinitely?

Wolfgang Maxwell got creative with his 1.2 billion isk Covetor, which was hunted down by Agents Lucia and Eva Mavas while in the Hek neighborhood. Let's see: No ORE Strip Miners, no blingy yield mods or shield mods... Was it filled with Harvester Mining Drones, perhaps?

No, just a PLEX and a bunch of blueprints. Typical stuff you'd want for your mining ship.

Remember how I said Golems don't go over well in Kusion country? Well, that really extends to all marauders, which are a problematic class of ships. Marauders encourage decadent, PvE-oriented gameplay. Da Under Taker brought a 4.7 billion isk Kronos into Uedama. If Uedama were the setting of a sitcom, you would've heard the music stop to a record scratch, or seen someone doing a spit-take.

Justin Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joel Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joshua Kusion, and Jason Kusion politely informed Da Under Taker of his error in the most memorable possible way. And then...

It wasn't enough to fly a blingy marauder; Da Under Taker had to sport a 5.3 billion isk set of implants, too. Joshua Kusion was the quickest Kusion on the draw.

Ascendancy implants boost a ship's warp speed. In the context of highsec PvE, haulers use them to make trips slightly more quickly. I'm sorry, but no. Not in my highsec you don't.


  1. When will these carebears learn how to properly activate a PLEX tank?
    And that fool with the smartbombs, how sad.

    Looks like the CODE wins! Always!

    ffs carebears

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  3. I like how the bears were babbling about how they thought CODE. was doomed after a few of loyalanon's accounts were banned. Yet it seems that we still kill over 1 trillion ISK per month according to zkillboard.

    And that is just counting the kills that are from agents within the CODE. alliance. There are several New Order agents that aren't part of the alliance but rack up some nice kills.

    There has never been a better time to get a New Order Mining Permit™! Or even better.. Become an Agent!

  4. All you can do about it is whine anonymously about it on our blog while you search desperately for stories to tell your grandkids.
    Don't forget to read them the Code three times a day as well.

  5. Well I'd say he has plenty of stories for a hundred grandkids.

  6. Zopiclone would be proud!

  7. It's amazing to me that someone transporting 30b wouldn't bother to buy a permit. Even if we accept AGs premise that the new order are snakes and don't honor permits, surely they are honored at least some of the time, right? There certainly are stories of permits being honored where miners follow the rules. Even if we estimate that a permit would have saved him only 1 in 100 times, that's still worth it if the New Order scouts him out only 1 in 30 times, and that's just for that trip! Presumably this isnt the only load he'll haul this year.

  8. Too bad antigankers couldnt stop any ganks

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  10. The Marauder and its warp speed pod are for running Vanguard sites in incursions. The sites are short; warp speed pod reduces the significant amount of time spent warping between them - hence more isk per hour. You don't need a prop mod in Vanguard sites. Standard practice for moving incursion ships is to swap all the gank out for extra tank: a Kronos should have bastioned up and lol'd at the Kusions. His loss.

  11. But where oh where is Ming?

  12. This is a story for the children and grandchildren!!

  13. Ohhhhhh that freighter drop... Now that alone is the best story on this site ever! 30 Bil -> 2 Mil... Enjoy those Stabs! And it took 53 people! 53 lost ships for 2 mil pay out. Math is hard but if you need help with it, ill assist. That KM should help with the war effort! Can't win in Null, gank in High? The new Goon Motto?

    Im ready for the typical code response bingo game. Ill start with some obvious, "We don't do it for the ISK", "no Permit", and pretty much everything that Wolf cuts and pastes in. Pretty sure I got Bingo on that one! Code Fails.

    1. So let me get this straight. If you were in a war with a rival alliance and you managed to destroy 30 Billion in assets at the expense of a fraction of that, would that still be a lose? Because I think it would be a massive win.

      And don't even try to argue against this, it is all out war between the courageous agents of the New Order and the decadent carebears that ruin EVE online, you can't dispute that.

  14. Your drinking too much of the koolaid man... Cut back some and then we can talk rationally.

  15. The process of doing such great transport system for the improvement of the community.This is an urgent college essay writing help by which the students may complete their assignment for the coming examination.Learning by practicing could be an effective method and every classroom should be arranged for the similar pattern.

  16. From look of things they might be communication breakdown for such mistakes break down. As a communication paper writing service i believe good communication always reduces mistakes.


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