Saturday, June 11, 2016

The Agents of Compassion

There was exciting news out of the Essence region this week, where New Order forces scored an impressive victory in the Ignebaener system. A bot-aspirant army consisting of Texeress Thaar's unfit Retriever was decisively defeated by a single New Order Agent.


Texeress was left penniless. Without anyone else to turn to, the miner sent a convo request to the man who had ganked him. Why? Because despite being on opposite sides of the war, it was clear that the ganker was a success at EVE. He knew how to play the game.


And maybe, just maybe, the New Order's reputation for compassion had reached Texeress' ears.


The Agent in question was Galaxy Pig. When he enters local, every carebear sits up and pays attention. If they're at their keyboard, that is.


The miner was completely destitute. He didn't have a corp or any friends in the game. He'd spent all his time mining in highsec. All he had was the name of the Agent who'd killed him. He could only hope that would be enough.


Galaxy Pig's compassion went beyond offering sympathetic words. Before long, he was providing the miner with the tools he'd need for survival in highsec.


I've often said that the New Order's Agents are the only friends that the highsec miners have ever had. Since the beginning of EVE, everyone else has ignored them. We're the only ones who bothered to give them content or help them play the game.


Galaxy Pig offered his assistance to Texeress. Where was Anti-Ganking or the theme park crowd? Probably off somewhere being toxic and failing to stop ganks. Meanwhile, the Agent and the miner were establishing a friendship. Or were they?


Our Agents have a good understanding of the mentality of the highsec miner. It's an understanding that has been built up over years of dealing with them. We know that miners can feign friendliness and good intentions, all while secretly craving isk. They must be put to the test.


As soon as Galaxy Pig broached the subject of receiving a permit payment, Texeress took off his mask. He revealed his true form--that of an enemy of the New Order and its Code.


Texeress believed that the kill right he'd earned was some kind of trump card. He was wrong. Woe to the carebear who ever thinks he's somehow gained an advantage over one of our Agents.


The New Order's compassion is all the more commendable in that it extends even to our declared enemies. Galaxy Pig offered to reimburse Texeress's Retriever loss--if only the poor miner would pay him 10 million isk. That's an even better deal than the isk doublers in Jita will give you. But Texeress Thaar was a hardened bot-aspirant. He couldn't bear to part with any amount of isk, no matter how small the amount, no matter how good the reason. Texeress immediately left the convo.

Then Galaxy Pig saw the miner hard at work in Ignebaener local chat:


Compassion turns to pity.

32 comments:

  1. Agents of compassion? More like agents of pissing off everyone they can. BWHAHAHA.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Someone's salty.

      Delete
    2. Indeed he is, he needs the calmness that the CODE brings in his life.

      Delete
    3. Calmness of the code? What kind of fabricated, double talking bullshit is that? I pointed out the truth and you guys are trying hard to spin it. Nice try, but you failed, again.

      Delete
    4. You sound mad. Try re reading the CODE now, see if it soothes you, let the wisdom of James 315 flow through you.

      Delete
    5. He is mad, it's just another BM/Davey alt. They all sound the same, handicapped.

      Delete
    6. And here, with Anon1215, we have the prime example of an uneducated, Trump supporting, obsessive code agent. Just look at how his passions are inflamed by the mere mention of this BM/Davey person. Based on his continual claims that random people are BM/Davey, it seems that he wants a penis to anally penetrate him.

      Delete
    7. @220
      Hey there BM/Davey.
      Nobody read that shitpost, friend. But good job at crying about something in these comments.
      Are you still too embarassed by your Davey/Sam "friends" posts to sign your comments.
      That was kinda cringey the way you think that lying about having a masters degree in compsci is.....noteworthy.
      Please keep shitposting, you know you can't resist. Your penis refrence was a dead giveaway as to your identity and I.Q.

      Delete
    8. What are you talking about? I haven't been on here for like 2 weeks. I've been busy with other things. And who the hell is Davey and Sam? Anon 2:20 is right, you are obsessed. You need help my friend. Besides, you claim that nobody reads these posts, and yet you respond to them. Schizophrenia much? You can believe what you want, but I know the truth and the truth is I haven't been here in something like two weeks.

      Wait...WHO THE FUCK told you I have a master's degree in computer science?

      Delete
    9. @1235
      You did, Davey fag.
      Don't try to deny it now, u r loser. ;)
      And fag.

      Delete
    10. Butthurt Miner, friend o/
      You're a punchline at this point, that's why it seems you get mentioned often.

      It seems that you are easily goaded into losing control, and will resort to using even kiddie porn to try to shock the readers.

      You appear to be in over your head.

      Your writing style: foxbolt visits salt lake city.

      Delete
    11. Oh oh oh It looks like BM might stick his penis in Anon215's anus after all. Since Anon215 has been obsessing over BM/Davey, I can't wait to see what happens next.

      Delete
  2. Not much need to buy the rights to kill someone if you can just kill them anyways for free. If he wanted Galaxy Pig dead, he should have paid someone 35M to kill him. But I don't think this miner is going to part with isk to a good merc to kill those he doesn't like.

    My particular favorite part of EVE. If there's someone you didn't like, and you didn't feel your skills were up to snuff to eliminate those that offend you, there were people willing to be paid to do it. When you absolutely care to send the very best, BDCI and FRICK, nothing says "I love you" like hiring the very best killers.

    ~~~~)\~~~\0/~~~~/(~~~~~

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well handled, Galaxy Pig; looking forward immensely to the next instalment of 'Advanced Diplomacy - New Order Style'!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Coming from you Rob, that means a bundle. :D

      Long live 315! \o/

      -Galaxy Pig

      Delete
  4. As a Waffle I will have your head for free and send this guy some isk and teach him the ways to counter dunk you guys. No qualms ganking someone but no need to be a shitler about it. You guys are a cancer on this game.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure Agent Galaxy Pig will be on high alert for you and other powerful friends from nullsec coming to get him.

      Delete
    2. @113.
      You are not waffle, you are a piece of shit lying hisec carebear. You are a BM/Davey alt.
      I guess what i'm saying is, proof or GTFO fag.
      There's always one lying shitheel in the group, now prove me wrong you impotent cuck.

      Doooo eeet waffleboi!

      Delete
    3. Lol yes, high alert. Would hate to lose an empty pod, or god forbid a free catalyst, to a disgruntled carebear waffle.


      -Oink

      Delete
    4. Hey 113 waffleanon,
      you can't teach 'em, you dumb shit. that's why they fly barges.
      I think maybe you fly barges too, huh?

      Delete
    5. Waffleboi here resent being called a carebear never done any pve ever. If you want to teach me the ways of the CODE come to Kinnaka. FYI we are not a nullsec corp. We are lowsec pirates also whats a davey/bm?. Atm cant even even highsec due to being -8 sec statuse. In the process of fixing that to hunt you cunts down. Anyways I dont have to prove shit.

      Delete
  5. I think it is what it is. EVE is a sandbox game and CODE is a perfect example of that. At least these guys have a reason for doing what they are doing. I mean, you have roving gangs in low and null sec blowing shit up for no reason, looking for easy kills. That's far more annoying to me!

    ReplyDelete
  6. "I sell you head" what a story for the grandkids I tell ya!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So you would inflict the so called 'code' on your grandkids? I'm glad that I didn't have you as a grandparent.

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. fitting a catalyst...

      Delete
  8. This is another story for the children and grandchildren!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. AG failing to stop another bullshit propaganda from being posted.. AGAIN!! As if they even didn't read this blog or something, and that is another FAIL!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AG op success. code shit post detected. Threat.. 0... Moving on.

      Delete

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