Wednesday, June 1, 2016

The Russian Intelligentsia, Part 1

It was another busy day of patrolling highsec for Agent Kalorned and his friends from The New Order Gamis Affiliates. On a field trip to Rens, they discovered--to their horror--an AFK Mackinaw mining only one jump away from the bustling trade hub.

The miner in question, Kotillion Belvar, had been asked whether he was AFK. For two agonizing minutes, Kotillion didn't respond. Finally, he said "no" in Russian. He was terminated.

Kotillion demanded an explanation. As luck would have it, Kalorned had a link to a Russian translation of the Code on hand. He graciously provided it to the miner--who responded with some gibberish.

Lacking the patience to continue translating from Russian to English, the miner continued the conversation in Russian and hoped for the best. Thankfully, our Agents are endlessly patient. Kalorned dutifully took each thing Kotillion said and fed it into Google Translate.
Kalorned > CAn you not read the link?
Kotillion Belvar > What is this bullshit?
Kalorned > the law
Kalorned > of highsec
Kotillion Belvar > and where it came from?
Kalorned > James 315
The miner wasted no time in deploying profanity. He aggressively questioned our Agent about who'd given him the authority to gank his Mackinaw.
Kotillion Belvar > that is, you want to say that any player the right to determine their laws to impose their game and the rest?
Kalorned > Yes, because we can enforce them
Kalorned > We like to call it 'emergent gameplay'
Kotillion Belvar > and who gave you this right?
Kalorned > James 315
Kotillion Belvar > that is, a simple player is above the rules of the most ogres?
Of course, Kalorned was able to rely on the most impressive authority imaginable: The Saviour of Highsec. It was hard for Kotillion to argue with that.
Kalorned > We have not violated any game rules
Kotillion Belvar > Well, why not? you destroy players who mine the ore, without thinking, why they do it. Maybe that player just started playing and he had no money to buy a new ship or learn a new skill
Kotillion Belvar > you destroy the player's interest in the game. You take away one of the ways of
Kalorned > There is no excuse for not having a permit
Our Agent stuck to his training. Yet Kalorned could already sense that there was something unusual about this particular miner.
Kotillion Belvar > huh? and some of the players who start playing knows about your solution?
Kalorned > It is the new players responsibility to research the laws of space before they begin mining
Kotillion Belvar > - If a miner abandons acquisition of extraction permit him a one-day extension may be granted, if it can correctly answer three questions of the Supreme Champion. Why I was not given this opportunity?
Kotillion Belvar > Why are you silent, my dear?
Kalorned > Was distracted
The Russian miner fired off, in rapid succession, a number of classic carebear arguments, one after another: Arguments about falling subscription numbers, new players, and the oft-misinterpreted Supreme Protector's Questions Three clause.
Kalorned > You never asked to answer the supreme protectors question 3, so it wasnt offered
Kotillion Belvar > in your code is written that before the destruction Miner given the opportunity to answer questions. You contradict your code.
Kalorned > I am not obligated to offer the question - the miner must ask for it
Kotillion Belvar > maybe you grant this postponement, not a miner himself
Kotillion Belvar > and how do you know, maybe I was the resolution?
...Then came the "You're not following your own Code" Miner Bingo square.
Kalorned > What I do know for sure, is you took 2 minutes to respond to my greeting, this indicates you were AFK which is a violation of The Code itself
Kalorned > Generally we allow for 5 seconds
Kotillion Belvar > my corporation established rules that I have no right to speak in the local chat.
Kotillion Belvar > for calls in the local chat me fine imposed
Kotillion Belvar > in your code is written, how long is the AFC. I told you, then I was in the game
Kotillion Belvar > about 5 seconds is not written anywhere
Many corps and alliances throughout all areas of EVE have a "no speaking in local" rule. I'd strongly recommend that the highsec groups provide an exception for speaking with Agents of the New Order.

Kotillion Belvar continued with his aggressive questioning about the Code. To his amazement, Kalorned realized that he was having his very first encounter with a truly sophisticated Russian space lawyer. Kalorned explained,
"Knowing he was Russian I was concerned the discussion would head south quickly. I linked him the Russian translation of The Code and unfortunately a vulgarity was thrown my way, however on account of the fact that no euphemisms concerning myself performing leud acts with an animal(s) of some sort had occurred yet, I was overall happy with the conversation's state at this point. What impressed me so was the conversation that ensued. To be clear, Kotillion was completely wrong concerning all this thoughts and arguments, however it is the first time I've ever been able to carry out a philosophical discussion surrounding The Code and EVE Online in general with a Russian."
The New Order has had hundreds, if not thousands, of encounters with Russian miners. Most of them are not happy to speak with us, and they express their feelings in the most pungent of terms. Kotillion was operating on a different level.
Kotillion Belvar > It is prohibited to mine the ore, leaving a control character (Mining-AFC). All miners should always be at the keyboard at any time and agree to confirm its presence in the local chat at the first request of the Supreme Champion
Kotillion Belvar > You had one demand response, I answered it
Kalorned > The 5 seconds allowed is stated here
Kalorned > Your corporations policies can not overrule the provisions of The New Halaima Code of Conduct
Kotillion Belvar > policy of my corporation has the right to exist as well as establish you your code.
Kotillion Belvar > And to destroy the people not understanding and not giving them any chance - it is low and disgusting
Though Kotillion had started off the convo in a manner consistent with the tradition of the Russian miner, he quickly went into space lawyer mode. Viewed through the prism of Google Translate, it was a sight to behold.
Kotillion Belvar > your actions seem to work reketirov gang who enjoy the suffering of other weaker people \
Kalorned > The miners of high sec have had nearly four years to read and learn about The Code - it is far from low and disgusting, it is proper and necesarry to maintain order and civility in High Sec
Kotillion Belvar > Police first finds out and then shoot
Kotillion Belvar > you also do the opposite
Despite his sense of wonder and astonishment, Kalorned was not intimidated. He'd spent years facing down space lawyers from multiple continents--and he always won.
Kalorned > I did find out - I greeted you and you took 2 minutes to respond - you violated the law, so I shot
Kotillion Belvar > once again repeat to you, I have answered your first request. In the edition of your code about the time spent in the AFC does not say anything. And the fact that you have written in the dialogue with the other players I was a little worried.
Kotillion Belvar > There is a document published and unambiguously interpreted
Kotillion Belvar > You do not consider it necessary to inform me about the abuse, and immediately opened fire
The Russian space lawyer was equally confident of victory. Having skimmed the Russian translation of the Code, he was certain he could prove Kalorned was in violation of it.
Kalorned > The Code states "Since the Code is a living, breathing document, it's not possible to fully enumerate all of the rules. But here are some examples of the rules, to help everyone get a sense of its spirit: "- It can and is interpreted
Kalorned > This is why miner should also read teh blog, stories like this to fully understand the expectations of them
Kotillion Belvar > if each player will set the rules and require all blindly abide by them - it will lead to anarchy and destruction. The history of our world apparently does not teach you anything.
The filter of Google Translate could not prevent the Russian's fiery rhetoric from shining through. Could Kotillion succeed where space lawyers from all the other countries had failed?

To be continued...


  1. A story for the grandkids again!

  2. "Kotillion Belvar > Well, why not? you destroy players who mine the ore, without thinking, why they do it." Yep, we're here to help.

  3. "Kotillion Belvar > my corporation established rules that I have no right to speak in the local chat." Typical soviet carebears...

  4. "Could Kotillion succeed where space lawyers from all the other countries had failed?" Given his namesake, the answer is NO.

  5. Looks like another failure from antiganking

    1. Antiganking's grandchildren will hear about this story... oh wait. Nerds wont have kids.

    2. Ha! 1233 is projecting again. Poor BM/Davey/Sam, he's afraid to post as himself. The encryption/software KANG BAY-BEE!

    3. with a masters in compsci, lets not forget

  6. I am pretty sure he called carebears 'ogres'

  7. meh seems made up

  8. This is a story for the children and grandchildren!!

  9. The history of the world teaches us that Might is Right, and Kalorned's answer "Yes, because we can enforce them" shows that this applies in hisec as well.

  10. но где ах где Минь?

    1. Sorry, I don't think anyone here speaks Ukrainian.

  11. Interesting conversations in multiple languages is one of Eve's greatest emergent gameplay opportunities players can have.

  12. This is a story for the children and grandchildren!!


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