Friday, June 17, 2016

Fury of the Furry

Sometimes you can tell a lot from a character's portrait.


After Agent Tisiphone Dira smashed an autopiloter's 40 million isk pod, she just wanted to pop in for a nice little chat to see how he was doing. Isn't that obvious from Tisiphone's portrait? FurryDragon was a sullen grump--which was equally obvious.


Tisiphone had more than mere pleasantries in mind, though. She was also there to enforce the Code's "Keep local clean" provision.


Tisiphone wanted to make sure highsec was a safe, family-friendly environment. After all, we know that carebears sometimes bring their young children into highsec and force them to mine. This, too, is an illegal practice, but as long as small children are in highsec, they need to be protected from inappropriate content.


FurryDragon had other priorities.


The stubborn carebear tried to make this into some kind of First Amendment issue. But the U.S. Constitution doesn't govern highsec; the Code does. Freedom of speech is a concept that's easily abused. Its flaws have been closely studied over the centuries. Highsec has an upgraded version of free speech which incorporates the lessons we've learned since the 1700s: Code speech.


FurryDragon vowed revenge, threatening to attack Tisiphone with a capital or even supercapital ship.


Tisiphone wasn't afraid. She'd beaten FurryDragon's shuttle (and pod), and would beat his titan, too, if necessary.


Nevertheless, our Agents prefer to resolve their conflicts peacefully. FurryDragon was too stubborn for that.


The carebear doubled-down on his losing anti-Code strategy.


Thus far, FurryDragon had played coy when it came to the furry issue. No more. FurryDragon revealed the existence of a massive conspiracy of underground furries in highsec. They'd remained hidden--and now they would be mobilized.


Cue the villain monologue.


Once a carebear begins a villain monologue, his chances of buying a mining permit precipitously decline.


Though Tisiphone Dira wasn't counting on getting the 10 million isk she was owed, she breathed a sigh of relief: At least FurryDragon was contained to a private convo. She'd hate to see him spreading these ideas in local.


I've often said that the New Order's mission in highsec is more like a marathon than a sprint. Sometimes it's better to take a break and let a carebear tire himself out. On some later occasion, when the carebear is in a better mood, a different Agent can renew the quest for the carebear's compliance.


FurryDragon declared that the secret army of furries would rise up and drive the New Order out of highsec. Carebear threats of this nature never materialize, but our Agents always stand at the ready. Ever vigilant.

32 comments:

  1. Incoherent tears & meaningless insults... oh yeah, I can't forget the threat of "I'll bring my capital to kill you". LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. Furry bashing in highsec? Gonna grab my popcorn real quick. Quality tears right there (well, provided that the animal the miner identifies with is able to produce tears. So let's just call them gland secretions)!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Furrie uprising... I laughed so hard I peed a little

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. calm down ganker...and get some diapers

      Delete
    2. ? Thats kinda messed up Anon7:56

      Delete
  4. You know what they say code kills miners while ag kills minors

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    Replies
    1. Right...and it was comments like that which got you permanently banned from the game. Trolling the Broadcast4Reps channel Loyal? Permaban. It is a good thing that you can't read otherwise you would have seen that little note in the MOTD.

      Delete
    2. Jeezus! There really is a B4R chan? I thouht it was a joke!
      Weak-minded fools.
      Before you get too upset let me explain.
      If you are so mentally deficient that you off yourself, you are prolly helping the gene pool, so thanks from the normal people.
      And before some bleeding puss starts crying about that, there are over 7 billion people on this planet, and it can only really support about 5 bill for an extended time. We can afford to lose some dead weight, so feel free to AN HERO. Save some resources for worthy people.

      Delete
    3. And who makes the decision of who is and isn't worthy? Who sets the standard that the rest of us is judged by? Certainly not you.

      Most of that population gain is in 2nd and 3rd world countries in places like Asia, South America, and Africa.

      So, why don't you be a hero for the planet and off yourself?

      Delete
    4. @ 340

      it's 'An HERO' friend, as in 'become AN HERO today!' google it if you have time between tampon changes.
      get your memes straight.

      and since you took the time to cry here i can only assume you will be sefl-pwning soon.

      remember to point the barrel up to almost a 50 degree angle, it wont do any of us any good if you miss and only blow the side of your face off.

      social justice warriors should be the first to go

      Delete
    5. "Most of that population gain is in 2nd and 3rd world countries in places like Asia, South America, and Africa."

      what the heck does this have to do with anything? so you think the poors are the problem?
      what a fucking hypocrite.

      anon340 you are one dumb retard. maybe try this before posting next time

      Delete
  5. Thank goodness I found this blog via a user's signature on the EVE-O forums else I would've come back in from a long pause (stopped back in 2012, the beginning of CODE from what I've gathered) breaking the law

    Perhaps it's time to resub knowing that CODE is out there making hi-sec better, maybe even toss my hat in the ring and try to help uphold the law and instill the values within non-compliant miners.. Depends if I can stop reading the blog long enough to resub (currently reading posts back in January)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should come back and try being an Agent. I'm not sure, of course, why you stopped playing Eve before but I suspect you got bored with it. Being in the New Order is unlike anything else you may have done but you have to be the right kind of person for it to click. In any case, if you are honest, brave, dependable and homicidal, you will find we are just the guys you are looking for!

      On a personal milestone note, "Cry Havoc and let slip the dogs of war" on the Minerbumping FORUM has passed 25,000 views making it the most popular New Order related writing of all time. Except for that stuff James does... Which is ok if you like that sort of thing.

      Delete
    2. It was most definitely due to boredom, as I suspect is a side-effect of the carebear (and semi-isolationist) lifestyle I had, for whatever reason, wanted to lead. My ~200 hours I played consisted of logging in, maybe doing missions, and then mining the night out. AFK Mining. I wasn't even playing the dang game

      As for whether or not I'll click, I suppose I'll find out as soon as I resub tonight/tomorrow (and grab a mining permit, just in case) and hop into the in-game channel. I do wonder about my homicidality, but that can be discovered later :p

      - A. Malachi

      Delete
    3. I have found that after you kill the first couple hundred miners or so that any vestigal twings of conscience disappear. For me, I never liked the bastards from the start so once I shot enough of them to get to really know them I got REALLY murderous.

      Delete
  6. This guy wants a permit, just he doesn't know it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Meh, same shite different day, rinse, recycle and repeat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yet you come back daily to read and whine on our blog because your AG blog cannot get any good content of its own. Go head and post more links to your failblog so that we can continue to ignore and not click on them.

      The content we provide here is an illustration of what miners are like and why we fight to Make Eve Great Again™.

      Delete
    2. @1120
      Yea, we are kinda wondering why you keep it up. But, whatever helps you feel relevant i guess.

      Delete
    3. Seems Anon 11:20 touched a nerve, and got some ganker tears. Maybe because you are sounding more like bots everyday and like to repeat yourselves when Trolling

      Delete
  8. So what missing from AG?
    Just the F

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AGF? what does it mean???

      Delete
    2. F A G

      i got it :D

      Delete
    3. no need to call Wolf Soprano a fag, just because he likes 12 inch visits in his bonus room. well, maybe you could, now he´s banned he got more time to concentrate on this ;)

      Delete
  9. How many of you CODE members were bullied as kids and are now lashing out at the big bad world inside a video game? Just curious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bullied everyday in school. Now I get my revenge. Praise James!

      Delete
    2. When I was in grade school, I used to play on the playground every day. But there was this group of kids that only stood around a rock pile that some of us liked to slide on. Some of them picked up as many rocks as they could and took them away; the others just stood there staring at the pile. Before long, there were no more rocks on the playground.

      It was a very traumatic experience for me. That is why I fight for the New Order and James 315. Praise James \o/

      Delete
  10. shame your parents didn´t love you more and bought you some toys. but perhaps they were still angry that their contraceptive failed and you came along.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True statistic: More than 50% of children born are a mistake.

      Delete
    2. but why do these mistakes end up in EVE and search for a false father figures like James?

      Delete
  11. I laughed pretty much the entire time reading this.

    ReplyDelete

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