Saturday, February 18, 2017

The Search for Anti-Ganking, Part 6

Previously, on MinerBumping... The search for nobility among the Anti-Gankers continued. Agent Alt 00 was unsure of whether she would ever find it, so she multi-tasked by ganking a bunch of non-compliant miners in Nakugard. It proved to be an efficient use of her time.


Oddly, it seemed every miner in Nakugard happened to be in a bad mood simultaneously. But why should this be, when they have access to the Code?


Highsec miner Sarah Jones cursed our Agent for not taking enough risks. She was probably composing a petition to CCP in another window--asking them to remove risk from highsec.


Another miner, Haze Tveskoeg, was deeply disturbed by Agent 00's philosophy. She reminded him of the notorious sociopath Sun Tzu.


There are a number of carebears who believe our Agents must be destructive in real life because they shoot spaceships in EVE. Presumably, they also feel miners must be wonderful people because they shoot space rocks and rage in local. There is no evidence to support either of these notions, however.


Luckily, Haze doesn't play first-person shooter games. They're absolutely filled with killers, according to what he's read.


In fact, reading can be dangerous, if you regularly read the wrong things. For example, reading stuff in the market window while your Mackinaw is being ganked. Or reading about EVE on untrustworthy websites full of fake news--instead of MinerBumping.


Alt 00 assured Haze that she values each and every Cat that comes into her possession.


When checking her wallet, our Agent discovered that she'd received a payment of 50 million isk from someone named Lahnius. The name had a familiar ring to it.


It was true: Lahnius was the Anti-Ganker who had killed the Buzzard flown by Alt 00's scout alt!


Alt 00 had suspected there was something out of the ordinary about Lahnius; he'd told miners in Hek to tank up their ships and buy permits. Now she had the exciting opportunity to sell an Anti-Ganker some mining permits.


Hearts and minds are being won every day in highsec. Our best publicity comes from the conduct of our Agents. Our second-best publicity comes from the conduct of the Anti-Gankers. Lahnius must've said something reasonable in the Anti-Ganking channel to earn himself a ban.


Alt 00 knew in her heart that even among the Anti-Gankers there must be a few with Gallant spirits. Now that Lahnius had turned to the light, how would the miners respond?

To be continued...

23 comments:

  1. Alt 00 - You have generated a whole darned series! My hat's off to you and your.....stamina!

    o7

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! More comedy gold from the Saviour -- "...the notorious sociopath Sun-Tzu," who also preferred to fight with the odds in his favor. Unlike most miners, who clearly have little interest in getting the odds in their favor. With the exception of the thousands of "sociopath" miners who have purchased permits, of course! :D

      -Sun-Tzu

      Delete
  2. When does the search for Code Noob assets begin?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When you stop being so buttmad.

      Delete
    2. Isn't that after The Wrath of Khan?

      Delete
  3. Oh noes! I hear it's the end of CODE?!?!?!!!?

    I have laughed so hard today, loitering in the ag chans.
    The desperation is palatable. ag yearns for this to be true to the point of blubbering. No shit, blubbering like the dammed who were just given a glimpse of the promised land and a hint of hope.

    We are all sick, laughing at that. I own it, I am having way too much fun. I would tell them, but they won't even believe this comment.

    My old dad said if you going to hell, greet the devil with a smile.

    My sides

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm thinkin' yer "current treasury" gauge might be a wee tad inaccurate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Has anyone in antiganking claimed victory yet 😂😂😂

      Delete
    2. Anon isk-minded miner 143: you are correct. Most gankers actually support their ships from their own assets. The treasury is a prop. It could read "0" and ag would still fail and the Code would continue to always win!

      Praise James \°/

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5rtV8nDScc

      Delete
    2. get well soon Nighttime.
      must be a bad virus if you can´t click stuff.
      tiny hands virus maybe?

      Delete
  6. AG's paranoia and insular nature estranges them from the thinking community. Maintaining their extremist position that ganking has no place in a PvP game requires them to censor all conflicting opinions in order to wall themselves off from reality.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "censor all conflicting opinions in order to wall themselves off from reality"

      Kinda like Clinton supporters.

      Delete
    2. Anon, I think you'll find it's a trait in all politicians, priests, and lawyers...

      Delete
  7. CODE is dead! AG victory!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anti ganking claiming Kusion as their own now. Ok. So you are just gankers then. At least you can be good at something (or one of you can anyway).

      Delete
    2. Nah it's a lie. You guys wasted so much time on this ruse it's hilarious. Think of all those ships we saved just by you guys failing so hard. XD

      Delete
  8. OH NO NOT LAHNIUS!!!!

    Wait, who is Lahnius? I mean seriously he's an anti-ganker?!?

    He killed a few catas and thrashers and one fluffy cloaky scout. Ooooooooo. A grand total of... (drum roll)...

    200 mil isk. WOW. I mean WOW! In the HSM that would make you a Private. GJ. There newbros with more ganker kills under their belt than you. And one scout! Amazing!

    Lahanius or whatever your name is, go back to low or null wherever you came from a month ago. You are not AG. Never was. You were just figuring out your level of play.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it looks like you found it.

      Delete

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