Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Face Off

So, you think you're a New Order ace? Time for a pop quiz, then. Try to guess what kind of ship loss led to the following reaction:


...

Pencils down before you look at the next screenshot.

...


Yes, for some reason, they do tend to be the worst. If you guessed Retriever, you're probably feeling like a hotshot right now. Don't get too puffed up, though, dear reader.


Agent Liek DarZ responded to a routine call. The Code violation was committed by zaza Shimaya, who took nearly 20 minutes to return to his keyboard.


Another hostile miner--no surprise there. Agent Liek has helped countless miners with zaza's attitude, so he was still feeling pretty confident.


At first, Liek stuck to his prepared materials. Then the miner drove the whole conversation straight off the rails.


Despite having "played" EVE for more than seven months, zaza believed he was entitled to absolute immunity in highsec. If zaza was going to act like a clueless newbie, our Agent would have to treat him like one. Liek cited the official New Pilot FAQ.


Whatever else he was, zaza was candid. He admitted that he didn't care what the actual rules were or what CCP said about the game.


Seven months into EVE, zaza finally learned there's no PvE-only section of the game. No one cared enough about zaza to tell him. No one, that is, except an Agent of the New Order. Was this the beginning of an unlikely friendship?


Liek had established enough of a rapport with zaza to get him to confess another crime: The miner had been 100% AFK at the time of the gank. Liek already knew this, of course, but it's always nice to get a confession on the record.


Once again, zaza threatened to kill our Agent. Liek gently nudged the miner toward compliance with the EULA. If zaza got permabanned for making real-life death threats, there would be no way to sell him a mining permit.


Unfortunately, it seemed zaza's thirst for revenge could not be quenched merely by getting on a CONCORD killmail of one of Liek's Catalysts. He wanted to take Liek's face... off.


zaza was unusually toxic, even for a Retriever pilot. Liek had to wonder if the miner had been hanging out with Anti-Gankers. Where else would he learn to behave this way?


Liek had done his best to interpret zaza's comments as being consistent with the EULA. But zaza wasn't interested in veiling his threats with the slightest bit of ambiguity. That having been said, with his latest threat, one could argue that zaza promised to make Liek a star.


zaza conceded that his comments violated the EULA. However, he blamed our Agent for pushing him over the cliff. Ganking a 30 million isk Retriever was simply too provocative an act not to result in real-life death threats. Agent Liek exited the conversation in the hopes that the miner, if left by himself, would eventually calm down.

Then fate intervened.


Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet has recently been mass EVEmailing miners who show up on the CODE. killboard. Unaware of zaza's bad temperament, TheInternet saw the Retriever kill and sent zaza a form EVEmail message:
Dear Capsuleer,

I am contacting you in my official capacity as a CODE. Alliance Diplomat. It has come to our attention that you have recently lost a ship. While it is likely that an Agent from our Enforcement Branch has already contacted you about your loss, the Diplomatic Team is following up nonetheless.

We would like you to understand that your relationship with the New Order doesn't have to be adversarial. Here is my offer: I will personally sell you a mining permit for 10m ISK. I would be your point of contact with the New Order from that point forward. This means you will have a friend inside CODE. who can give you good security advice and help you if you encounter any difficulty...
Would more death threats ensue?


Ah, you didn't expect that this would end with a permit sale, did you? Next time, don't be too quick to feel like you're a hotshot. Highsec still has much to teach you.

41 comments:

  1. YOU USLES SHOVENISTICK COLUMIAN NECK TIE COTTEN FARMER

    This is going to be my go-to insult from now on.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Another victory for the New Order! The illiterate miner has been punished for his bot-aspirancy, publicly shamed and humiliated over his aggressive outbursts, then guided into Code compliance by Agent Tweeps’ community outreach efforts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Next time fellers please get these lunatics on Teamspeak. It's been a while since the last rage monkey graced Soundcloud.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Colombian Necktie Cotton Farmers would be a good name for an alliance.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Question - Why wasn't ag there to stop the gank?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because they were busy failing somewhere else, comrade.
      ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

      Delete
  6. I'm suspicious. TheInternet is a model of reticence and good form; how come zaza's permit magically takes on the formatting we saw earlier in the exchange? Only the month and date escaped the caps lock.

    Invite me to shut up if you like, but I'm eagle-eyed when it comes to signs of miner insincerity..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey shut-up anon, you can post your tears now.

      Rob has spoken you giant teary PHag, where's your whine?

      Delete
  7. It's cute the way you ganker asshole think that bullying people is good for eve. This post just shows that CODE needs to change direction and seperate it self from idiots like TNT. If "agemts' will talk to a miner before blowing them up you would have a lot more followers and less of this antisocial behavior.

    TNT and specificly "Lady Ati" and her ganking crew are making all gankers look bad. They try to troll me Hageken and on other forums and sites but they fail hard LOL! They are the lowest form of troll pvp player, only killing defenceless miners! Its sad that TNT looks so bad with all those miner kills in their record. A real alliance would live in nul/low and pvp with real pvpers.

    I am curious why "Sonny Chavez" is trying so hard to make me mad, he should know by now that you cant make me mad LOL! He calls everything "tears" but I am not crying, I never cry over a game or bow to a girl in game! Lady the farm girl will never be able to beat me in game or out. She is just a stupid girl that cant take it if she cant use her womanly ways to make you play her way. I wonder how she talks people into doing something as low as suicide ganking. She must be giving something away! LOL!

    You idiots will never learn that you CANT make mad! I know I am playing right when powerful Jita traders keep giving me free injectors and loads of money to fight TNT. CODE should ask them selves if they can aford to have so many miners mad st them, without miners CODE would not be able to find ships to fly.

    If other highsec moners and industry toons want to start a boy cot, you should check out my stream, where I show miners how to survive ganks and how to kill the gankers.

    Message Codex Biovector (call me Code for short) in game for a link to my stream, and help or boosts if you want to mine safely in Hageken.

    Fly safe, unless you are a gankers then you can all die, IRL. that should let you know you are playing wrong when people want to kill you in real life.

    the Original "Code", Codex Biovector

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Codex. Now take a deep breath and repeat after me: "It's only a game."

      If you have a desire to wish harm on someone in RL, over a digital game, that openly states that you consent to PVP the moment you undock your ship, regardless of which level of security system you're in, then the problem is with you.

      Having been someone who has been ganked, in Jita, while carrying PLEX, you would think that I'd be more mad than anyone else out there, wouldn't you? And I was, for a time, until a friend pointed out that A: EVE is full PVP all the time and B: CONCORD does not prevent PVP in HiSec, they merely enforce it. So if you do not take those words of warning, then it is your own fault just like it was my own fault for not reading the fine print back in the day when it happened.

      Now, I fly happier now in the mantra that "This is EVE Online and I am going to die. It's not a matter of if, it is a matter of when." And when it does happen (just like the other day when I lost my beloved Astero in LowSec while hacking, I congratulated the pilot on a fine kill and then asked him how he crept up on me so that I could learn from the experience.

      o7

      Zander Moreau

      Delete
    2. To the Zander player, you sound like another TNT alt. You and your friends are ruining eve for new and casual players. Not everyone wants to pvp ALL THE TIME. You gankers need to learn that before its too late and eve is shut down because everyone is tired of playing a game full of asshole gankers.

      Why must you idiots try so hard to kill eve?

      Delete
    3. A fine post, Zander. It will, of course, be totally wasted on our incoherent and immoderate Codex Biovector.

      You can tell from his writing that he doesn't welcome interruptions - a sure sign of someone not accustomed to actually listening to anyone.

      Ignore anything after the name; eventually you'll get used to ignoring that, too.

      Delete
    4. Hello Anon Anti-PVPer,

      Its all laid out in the EULA. You consent to PVP the moment you're in open space. If you can't hack it, then go back to a nice, safe, PVE World of Warcraft Server and then let me know which one so I can jump on any one of my characters there to show you up some more.

      I've been reading through the archives here and the argument has been the same going on, what, five years now? "Gankers are ruining EVE and people are tired of it" (isn't that a square on the Bingo Card?). I think that 50K of users on Tranquility say differently.

      I have no idea who TNT is but they sound like a player of sound mind and body to me.

      o7.

      ***
      Hi Rob!

      Thank you. :) I'd ignore people like that but, nah, I find it far more fun to troll them. :D

      o7

      -Zander Moreau

      Delete
    5. Ahhhh, Wolf. You honor me by thinking so highly of me to want to elevate me to such a revered position. However, I am but a lowly CODE Compliant miner (paperwork pending) and self-proclaimed scribe of the stars of New Eden (I.E.: Author). Alas my time is limited to fleeting moments where I can hack on one character and mine on the other. The rest of my time is spent putting the pen to paper in order to bring literacy and imagination to the world as well as ensuring that numbers match up (AKA: Accounting). Sadly, I do not have such time to be on the esteemed body of CSM and even if I were to have such time, I do not feel that I am worthy of such a lofty position of responsibility. You fill my heart with pride with such a nomination but alas, I must decline. I do thank you for such generous words. :)

      o7

      -Zander Moreau (I really need to get a wordpress ID or something so that I can stop doing this Anon thing...)

      Delete
    6. Well its sad that you ganker idiots are so basic that you cant see eve is dieing! You could have offered the miners ecm protection like I did. I literally had gankers begging me to stop jamming them, but you idiots decided to do it wrong.

      I guess this means you assholes dont care about eve at all, it seems all you want to do is run off the industry backbone and when the miners all quit you will be sorry then when you have no ships to fly. Miners are the ones making eve a enjoyable game for everyone, but you shitheads wont stop killing them, how stupid are you gankers.

      I guess the resistance is gonna have to start flooding CCP with petitions about gankers and hate speach and harassment. Its sad that TNT forced me to do this, if trolls like "shootyou longtyme" (spells.his own name wrong lol) was not trying to murder every miner in sight then eve would have plenty of players and no need for Alpha clones.

      I dont even know why I try to explain this to you stupid fucking gankers, you are all to stupid to learn any logic! LOL! Idiots!

      You stupid assholes could have asked and I would have joined you and even helped with pvp, but now I say you can all kiss my ass.

      "Trolls will be trolls" you can listen to me explaining how stupid TNT and CODE are on my daily kick ass stream. ;)

      Message Codex Biovector in game for links to my stream and helpful info on how to handle gankers and other asshat greifers! Together miners can make a difference if they all decide to make a stand and nit bow down to girls and greifer asshats!

      Fuck TNT fuck CODE fuck Lady Ati fuck zeventse fuck Jagd Wilde you will all regret treating good people like shit. We are growing in numbers and it would be a shame if CODE got their ass kicked because they were to close to TNT when we make our move.

      I already have scouts and alts in all the ganker corps and alliances. I know your weakness and when I am finished collecting some higher ups IPs WE WILL MAKE YOU PAY LOL!

      No crying just logic and common sence. I am to smart for you gankers to troll, the whole time you thougbt you were trolling me I was putting alts in your corps and alliance. I have a contest going on my stream if you can find any of my spy alts I will give one of my subscriber a $350 gift card and other minor prizes. But you only have one week to root me out bitches! :D lol you cant make me mad. I told you idiots I dont cry over a game or fail trolls that have no life outside game. Never crying lol, thats so cute when you think you can make me mad. You cant silence me! So sad.

      Stay safe miners and other normal players. Together we can end ganking in highsec and save eve from dieing. O7

      "Code" Codex Biovector

      Delete
    7. Its sad you guys keep using my name on a fake post. I Get why Jagd Wilde the troll TNT seems to be lingering :D But its cute you guys are trying this hard. :D

      Delete
    8. I'm going to start calling this guy Cutex Biovector. Remember, in case you were mislead by the rant, he's not angry!

      Delete
    9. we call him Kotex

      Delete
  8. CCP designed highsec to actively encourage ganking, which is reflected by:

    - Variable security status
    - Concord delay times
    - Complete bottleneck of highsec by Uedama and Niarja, (they are 0.5 systems by design, and are deliberately intended to funnel highsec traffic)
    - Better yield asteroids in 0.5 to lure miners
    - Paper thin barges that must be made even weaker to ‘enhance’ mining activity

    Miners are inherently greedy and left to their own devices, will ignore the fundamental idea of risk/reward that EVE was founded on.

    They serve no purpose other than to die humiliating and degrading deaths, inflicted by the brave and esteemed Knights of the New Order.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Why would I pose as another on these forums. To prove a point Codex. Click my name ;)


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. whats your point Codex? that you can fake someones Identity? no one wants to see your click bait, and no one believes anything you say, you have proven yourself to be a willful shitter, pod yourself. oh yea, in game XD

      Delete
    2. http://imgur.com/a/ES2ZM thats another COdex alt lying about something. who ya gonna trust? :D

      Delete
    3. Kotex is how we say itFebruary 23, 2017 at 4:50 AM

      https://zkillboard.com/kill/59988472/

      another idiot and his shitfit carebear boat are soon parted XD

      Delete
  10. Its ok, :D You love the attention. I mean why else would you personally go out of your way to troll? Maybe failed sperm donor? :)
    https://www.documentingreality.com/forum/attachments/f149/440910d1365450638-dead-fetus-ectopic-pregnancy-ectopic-20-281-29.jpg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://imgur.com/a/GizDX nice sperg Kotex

      Delete
  11. I Mean you love trolling. Going far out of the way to use alts and constantly spam chat. So I guess its fun or your wanting the attention.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXYgPQHPWjI
    Its a sick video.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. https://zkillboard.com/kill/59988472/

      is this why you so mad Kotex? now you are trying to be Jagd Wilde. you really are the number one shitter in EvE. keep crying girly man! XD

      Delete
    2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4P8lzkD3zg
      Im doing good, but codex I am not.

      Delete
    3. "You're* wanting the attention"
      As in you're an illiterate shitter, Kotex. ;)

      Delete
    4. Cutex ventured out of Highsec? Well that's something. No miner left behind.

      Delete
  12. So that Codex Biovector guy seems really mad and possibly insane. Now he's posting as Jagd Wilde, the last guy to kill Codex.

    I guess Kotex snapped after his racist alt Ravenoth Aldiun got banned.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Codex Biovector is the ultimate defector,
    He cries and he whines from the santicty of his sector.
    He is always loud and he never relents,
    And he will not stop until every ISK is spent.

    -Zander Moreau, future ballad writer of New Eden

    ReplyDelete
  14. For more verses, you can check out my new blog dedicated to the heroes and villains of Eve-O. :)

    o7

    ReplyDelete
  15. But where oh where is Ming?

    ReplyDelete
  16. ALL of those posts, pro and con, are Codex begging for attention. Since when does the EVE community ignore such pitiable please of help? XD

    Codex needs friends, friends. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. How did I make it through 38 replies to this and NO ONE has commented on...

    "That having been said, with his latest threat, one could argue that zaza promised to make Liek a star."

    This is one of the single most amazing written works of James 315 in the 4 years and 8 months that I have been part of the New Order.

    Everyone should go back and re-read it to gain the full realization of the perfection.

    ReplyDelete

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