The week of June 4th @ 00:00 EVEtime through June 10th @ 23:59 EVEtime was a smashing success for the New Order. I mean that literally: Dozens of freighters were smashed.
Who knew Uedama could be so dangerous? Apparently not any of those guys.
The Niarja pipe also got some love. Mr Basic's triple-anti-tanked 12.7 billion isk jump freighter went on autopilot and ran into a massive blob of gankers. Mr Basic was too AFK to to activate his jump drive, which had plenty of fuel. Soon Mr Basic was trading his ship and cargo for content, courtesy of the New Order.
Kudos to the gank fleet, which included no fewer than 32 members of the mighty CODE. alliance--an impressive showing: Agents reaper Shardani, Jack Fizzleblade, Mildron Klinker, karma balancer, Aaaarrgg, Sex K1tten, Milkmypigeon, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, Hermann Fizzleblade, Australian Excellence, uninstall 05, uninstall 01, uninstall 03, uninstall 02, uninstall 04, GR13Fy, Trump The King, Tax Collector Stroheim, Archibald Fizzleblade, Taxman Daniel, Pod Destroyer Molly, Lichelle Marie, Tax Collector Max, Mosquito Bites, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Aruka, Molly Klinker, Tax Collector Hill, Booka Shade, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Sherri Rozei, Tax Collector Richard, Tawny Rozei, Tax Collector HongMei, Ruby Rozei, Tax Collector Kittens, Lillie Naari, and Millaya Yatolila.
The rebels always told Bantu Rollard that Skiffs are gank-proof, so he blinged up and didn't bother to get a permit. This is why smart miners get their news from MinerBumping and not from random carebears. Bantu lost his 1.1 billion isk Skiff to Agents Mack Poddington, Hrothgar Nilsson, James Poddington, Skiff Poddington, Hulk Poddington, Dank Killz, and Lawrence Lawton.
I know what you're thinking, dear reader: "That scumbag had two ORE Strip Miners? What a Goofus!" But I encourage everyone not to judge Bantu so quickly. In fact, the scumbag had two ORE Ice Harvesters.
What a Goofus!
Tommy Sepero couldn't afford to lose a 4 billion isk freighter, so he lost a 4 billion isk Deep Space Transport instead. (This is the new meta for some bot-aspirants, apparently.) Tommy autopiloted through Uedama, where a fleet of good guys was already assembling: Agents Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri, Mosquito Bites, Narl' Amhar, MeinHerzBrennt, IchWill, MeinTeil, DuRiechstSoGut, Sherri Rozei, Trump The King, Tawny Rozei, Votre Dieu, Sonne, Lillie Naari, OhneDich, and Dank Killz.
CCP creates engineering complexes; we create content.
Though CCP has often taken steps to protect the carebears from themselves, there's still room for our Agents to exercise creativity. Clacker McDucky got into a fight with Agent Krig Povelli, who somehow figured out a way to trick Clacker into CONCORDing his Rattlesnake. Agent Bladewise got in on the action, too. If you're wondering what Clacker's reaction was to getting CONCORDed, I suspect his character portrait offers a reasonable guess.
Obviously CCP needs to buff suicide ganking. Gwynddolynn tried to gank Agent Krig Povelli's Proteus, but he was able to tank Gwynddolynn's Orca's attack drones until CONCORD arrived. Now, I'm sure many of you will wonder how Krig managed to pull all of this off. Luckily, he explained everything in the MinerBumping channel:
There you have it.
cov3rt decided to take a trip to the New Order's ancestral homeland. He chose to autopilot in a shuttle, which is not how things are done in highsec anymore. Agent Sherri Rozei gave him a helpful reminder so he wouldn't embarrass himself.
Over 2.5 billion isk was destroyed. Another Agent followed up on Sherri's gank to ensure that the message was received:
Carebears these days. They've always got some excuse.