Monday, June 5, 2017

Looking for Code, Part 1


Agent Aaaarrgg is among the deadliest, most elite PvP'ers in EVE. Ranked by zKillboard as the 84th best PvP'er of all time, Aaaarrgg has over 5 trillion isk of damage to his name. He has destroyed over 19,000 Code violators over the years--including some 10,000 pods.


A consummate professional, Aaaarrgg entered the Jerma system, ganked a Code violator, and offered a polite "gf" in local. Almost immediately upon the termination of his Global Criminal Countdown timer, he did the same again. By this time he was attracting the attention of bot-aspirant ice miners, who were beginning to wake from their long slumber.


As the miners raged, fellow miner Trash Stealthed scolded them. The ice anomaly was at risk. They needed intel, not tears. Where was Aaaarrgg?


Our Agent engaged the miners in a spirited debate--which he won as quickly as he'd won his elite PvP battles with them.


Rebel miner Sarah Dantai saw the way things were going. She took the low road, spreading malicious gossip about the mighty CODE. alliance.


Aaaarrgg dismissed the fake news. There's absolutely no evidence that the New Order engaged in systematic rookie harassment when CCP started its free-to-play initiative. There's plenty of blame to go around for the alpha program's failure to permanently increase EVE's playerbase. However, the New Order does not share in the blame. We're one of the few groups in EVE that still gets people interested in the game.


Sarah insisted that there was a forum thread somewhere announcing the mass-permaban of CODE. members for rookie harassment. Alas, the elusive thread was nowhere to be found.


Aaaarrgg cleaned out the Jerma ice anomaly and moved on. During his travels, he spread facts and wisdom to counteract the carebear lies and rumors.


Our Agent proudly announced that CODE. won Alliance Tournament XII, which is 100% true. It's the only thing anyone remembers about Alliance Tournament XII.


Having won the day yet again, Aaaarrgg continued his patrol of highsec.


After ganking some random carebear, Aaaarrgg was invited to a private convo. The carebear confessed his guilt in less than 60 seconds. Our Agents are so darned efficient.


Then the carebear tried to backpedal in an unusually ineffective manner. "Half AFK" indeed! It was too late, though. Aaaarrgg had already closed the case and moved on.


Thus far, our Agent had encountered almost no resistance. But he was about to receive a visit from his most dangerous opponent yet.

To be continued...

15 comments:

  1. The anticipation of delight is surely one of mankind's loftiest pleasures.

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    1. Not when it's a multi part series, split over the weekend. That's literally torture!

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    2. When I was in my late-20s, back in ~1982, I wanted desperately to get my hands on the Korg Mono/Poly synthesizer. It was the must-have piece of kit for a keys player like me.

      But it was fearfully expensive, and my salary stretched only as far as the night before payday - and frequently not even that far!

      You could get stuff on 'hire-purchase', of course. In those days, there wasn't a single musician I knew who wasn't maxed out on that.

      I saved up. Long, long months of wanting and waiting, of inch-by-inch crawling towards that final total.

      To save your torture, dear reader, I'll cut straight to -

      When I got it, I unpacked it and just sat looking at it for quite a long time. My new blue Korg Mono/Poly completely changed the appearance of the shabby little room I then called 'home'. I think I was ecstatic, or drunk, or both, probably.

      Patience takes practice, and the ability to invest totally in other things while the desired goal makes its way towards you. This was key, for me. Still is.

      My Synths come as VSTi's now. They're available at the wave of a credit card (Omnisphere 2 - Gulp..) or via keygen/crack (never done it - devs need to eat!). Credit is the new saving-up!

      But I still remember that young man's anguished delight in the prospect of actually owning the machine of my dreams.

      Perhaps I have an unusually high pain threshold.

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    3. Not to pick nuts, but if you were in your 20s working full time in 1982, your complaints about money being tight are laughable. Sure, your week&s salary only stretched to the next week..... If you bought two houses and a car that week.

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    4. Pick nuts if you wish, anon; I was there! Salary was monthly pay as opposed to weekly wages (do they still make that distinction?).

      I did leave out some irrelevant and of course personal details, but my point was, I think, well-made. The synth was far out of my league - relative to my income.

      I wonder that you picked up on that aspect of what I said (which you could have answered for yourself with a bit of reflection), rather than the rest.

      If your point was that, compared with today we had money to burn, I do take your meaning. I have spent time with people here in London, UK; people living (or trying to) in absolute poverty, by any definition of the word. Not lazy, idle people, but noble care-worn people trying to put on a 'good face' and remain optimistic.

      I think that, in the early 80s, there was still residual shame in being seen as selfish and/or egotistical; a hangover from a much earlier time.

      I wasn't overwhelmed with student debt or the obscenity of a compulsory zero-hours contract, so yes, things were much easier, Anon. But we didn't know that then, now did we?

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  2. My favourite ganker \0/ AAARRRRGGHHH for CSM \0/ \0\ /0/

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  3. Wow, hisec miners are ignorant.

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  4. Lol, there's something you should know about vin.


    https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=5264971#post5264971

    He's just another violent hisec shitter.

    Dis gone be gud!

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  5. I'm not seeing a Code corp in any of the tournaments winners listing.

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    Replies
    1. That's your problem, isn't it?

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  6. Everyday I violate code laws and you can't do nothing about it!

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    1. 'Anything' or 'a thing', Anon, rather than 'nothing'. You've employed a form of the reviled double-negative.

      I say this to you gently, for I know some will leap to their keyboards and hammer out 'grammar nazi' - as if it means something significant.

      I understood what you meant; everyone who reads your comment will understand what you meant. I simply offer an alternative, and a learning opportunity, if you're generous enough to take it up.

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  7. That vin vao idiot was not shy about crying in ag chat (the last time I had an alt in there). In fact he was turning into the next Rusell with all his tears about 'exploits' and 'extortion' and 'need more nerfs'.

    Now he's "hunting" Agents? I just don't see this ending well for him.

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  8. Aaaarrgg, is the guy that first killed me in this glorious game, I was 2 days old and clueless, he convo'd me and taught me a load of good stuff that has served me well in Eve, then donated 40mil for my little heron a fortune for a new player and send me on my way to adventures in WH null and lowsec. Every time I spot him I o7 for this truly was the guy who set my eve career on the right path I still am not code compliant but the only reason why is that I find Highsec when I pass true more interesting without a permit, Highsec shouldn't be safe and carefree I prefer to run the gauntlet. Nothing but respect for this knight though.

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    Replies
    1. Work that shaft you dirty whore.

      Delete

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