Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Kalorned discovered an illegal mining operation in the Gelhan system. Mission Ready Mining, a corporation with over 2,400 members, had deployed a bunch of miners there. The presence of these miners attracted additional rebels to the system. Despite their numbers, Kalorned was able to shut them down with a bumping ship and a few ganker alts. Hostile MRM pilots swirled around our Agent; the only one brave or foolish enough to attack him was killed.


Afraid to strike against Kalorned's mighty Orthrus, the MRM pilots had no choice but to dock up and wait for him to leave. Hours passed. Their plans changed from "ice mining op" to "crying in local".


Mission Ready Mining's carebears grew disgusted with our Agent, who apparently had no weaknesses and no intention of leaving Gelhan any time soon.


Another local miner, Sephtroth, brought an Orca into the ice anomaly along with some mining barges. Kalorned promptly bumped them right back out. They retired ungracefully from the field of battle.


Another hour went by, and the atmosphere only became more tense. Slypher Hekki, a friend of MRM, challenged Kalorned to a duel. If she won, the Mission Ready Mining corporation would be grateful--they might even give her some isk.


Slypher was sick of New Order Agents who only shoot ships that can't shoot back. She begged Kalorned to fight.


Carebears, be careful what you wish for: A few minutes later, Kalorned accepted the duel and killed Slypher's Vexor.


In lieu of giving Kalorned a "gf" in local, Slypher tried to laugh it off. The miners of Gelhan, who had been watching the conflict very closely, were crestfallen.


Kalorned's triumph was undeniable. A resident of Gelhan treated him to a fireworks display in the ice anomaly.


More time passed, and Kalorned maintained his stranglehold on Gelhan. Additional miners filtered into the system, only to be disappointed by MRM's standing orders to remain docked up. redneck atkinson, a former member of MRM who entered Gelhan after the Vexor fight, accused Kalorned of never shooting combat ships. When will these miners learn?


It was now five hours since our Agent entered Gelhan and shut down mining operations. The locals were powerless to do anything but discuss and theorize about Kalorned.


More time went by. The chatter evolved into a kind of panel discussion, like one might find on a cable news show. All agreed that Kalorned was a monster corrupted by his power.


After a while, more MRM pilots gathered. There was now a real possibility of the carebears giving battle. But Kalorned reminded them that to be entitled to a duel, they must pass either the Test of Valour, the Test of Wisdom, or the Test of Fortitude, as outlined in the Code.
Lukka Hawke > seriously 4v4 us at the sun noob
Lukka Hawke > ill take your fucking tests
Kalorned > You will?
Lukka Hawke > syure why not
Kalorned > Great
Kalorned > Just pick one of the three tests and lets begin
Challenge accepted.

To be continued...

43 comments:

  1. Go get them Kalorned, Best code pilot in fleet

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    1. best code enforcer outside of the code XD

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    2. look its the bot.

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    3. Praise be to Kalorned the killer of civilians, killer of unarmed infidels who mine against the savior, kill them all they have no place in our world. James Akbar!

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    4. Kalorned is a penis with ears. Nothing more.

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  2. Yum yum; "..and there was much rejoicing."

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    1. Yaaaaay (in as monotone a voice you can imagine)

      I hope people get my reference piggybakcing off of Robs' post here.

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    2. Yeah death to civilians, death to non violent players, death to all who oppose Allah, I mean James. James Akbar.

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    3. 10.01; glad to see a fellow enthusiast..

      9.19: There's no such thing as 'death' in EVE Online. Destruction (de-struction)? yes; death? no.

      Only in real-life do civilians and the meek die to violence (intentionally or otherwise). If you are opposed to this, I suggest you campaign for a return to traditional warfare, wherein opposing armies sort it out on the battlefield, and civilians on the losing side are either enslaved or allowed to continue to pursue their (peaceful) lives under new masters.

      Thinking about it, that might solve the Sov-is-boring situation. Pitched battles in which the winner gains the losers' Alliance/Corp/s and total control over all their assets. Conquered members are free to leave if they wish (or they get kicked), but they take nothing with them. Nothing.

      Of course, it would lead to an empire, eventually. But empires do fall, don't they...? How might that happen? It would certainly be a long-term strategy, which would pain those players who're in it for the quick-fix.

      I digress (very often).

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    4. No this is not true once we gain control of all we shall know peace and our empire shall never fall, James Akbar!

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    5. Of course, Rob Thompson, we understand digressing is an old mans disease. You probably lived through wars with horses and muskets.

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    6. Hi 203, no; but I certainly lived through the 'Vietnam' war. Shall I tell you about it?

      Civilians armed with rice bowls and paddy fields; guerrillas armed with mines, communism, and rifles; trained soldiers armed with Agent Orange, spliff, purple hearts, and the very best technology money could then buy. Do you know what the outcome was?

      If I am old, Anon, I have at least not arrived at the destination totally bereft of love and purpose. May your journey be similarly blessed!

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    7. No one is blessed unless they join under the name of James, glory to his name. If they do not do as he does then they must die. James Akbar!

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    8. Monty Python was a staple of my teenage years.

      And might i say, rob you are one of my favorite comment writers. You ans the professor lawton.

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  3. A most enjoyable story – looking forward to Part 4!

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    1. Yes tell us more of how you kill those without weapons.

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    2. We neutralise their drones, scouts, corp-mates, ECM boats, intel channels, Local Chat, D-Scan, etc. It's fascinating, Anon 920!

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    3. Yes the brave who fight the unarmed infidels of high sec, let them die horribly because they do not seek James our savior. JAMES AKBAR!

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    4. I know this guy is trying to troll, but I actually entirely agree with the sentiment.

      JAMES ACKBAR!

      -Galaxy Pig

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    5. Yes death to all who do not fight, kill them all. James Akbar

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  4. I for one look forward to Lukka taking the seemingly easy Questions 3 and choosing "Nile".

    Carebears. So predictably, consistently disappointing.

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    1. Yes not as disappointing as warriors who fight only those without weapons, such brave fighters of the civilians without guns, braving the dangers of harsh words, in the name of James blessing upon his name. James Akbar!

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  5. 20m Vexor against a 1B Orthrus, hum... One here is stupid and the other is a coward.

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    1. theres no reason to insult the miners so nondescriptly, anon. just use their names so we know which of the weak minded and weaker willed ones you are talking about specifically.


      we are here to enjoy Agent Kalorned and his compliance endeavors.

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    2. Well, we know the Vexor pilot was stupid, and that Anon scum like you are cowards, so that means Kalorned must be a damn good pilot.

      I mean, wow, wasting a Vex vs a pirate cruise......
      Pretty dumb.

      And being so cowardly that you can't even post using an Internet handle....how do you stand it, Anon?

      *lights up the cigar*

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    3. Yes unlike brave heros who kill civilians without weapons and proclaim glory to their savoir, to die killing infidels who believe differently than us must die and we be martyrs in his name. James Akbar!

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    4. Can you taste and feel the scum Apache ?

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    5. You must die. James Akbar!

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  6. I like ketchup!

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    1. I like mustard, since you do not like what I like you must die. It is written in the code that those who do not agree with its agents must die. James Akbar!

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    2. i like none of your sauses, eve must be destroyed cuz none of you deserve it. such is the code now obey!

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    3. It is our sauce not yours, join us or die. James Akbar!

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  7. Test of Valour. Prove you are not afraid to die by Coding a valuable ship, and do so in a manner that demonstrates integrity and honesty.

    Test of Wisdom. Correctly answer the almighty Ehnea's questions three. Each question must be answered within 20 seconds. The Questions Three will be different for each code monkey each day.

    Test of Fortitude. Walk a mile in the almighty Ehnea's shoes by becoming a miner. You must continue to mine for an indefinite period of time.

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    1. This is blasphemy, James is the only one who may question anything, all who question are sentenced to die. James Akbar!

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  8. NO screenshot of the guy asking to take the tests, I smell a cover up. I think its being penciled in.

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    1. you would actually believe this garbage?

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    2. You are garbage, join James or die. James Akbar!

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  9. Mining is not bad. It's just not the best way to make ISK. It sure is the easiest though.

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    1. Get to low sec or nul sec, with a rorqual skills to 5 and 2 barge alts you can billions a in a few hours, while fighting off small gangs and even other small capital fleet gangs

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    2. You are scum who do not embrace the law of James, your ways are filth and you must die. James Akbar!

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  10. Not sure which is more entertaining...the blog itself, or the impotent carebear tears in the comments

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    Replies
    1. Your amusement is meaningless, join James or be destroyed like the infidels. James Akbar!

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