Thursday, July 27, 2017

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 6

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Kalorned launched a campaign to enforce the Code in the Gelhan system, which was infested by miners from the gargantuan Mission Ready Mining corporation. Kalorned easily took over the system and the MRM miners scattered like cockroaches. But soon MRM called in support from friendly PvP alliances in the area, including Vendetta Mercenary Group.
Pheonix Jr > lol
Pheonix Jr > ur bad
Pheonix Jr > leave tether you sackless mongoloid
Kalorned > Only once you learn some manners young man
Pheonix Jr > grow a pair vagina
Pheonix Jr of Vendetta Mercenary Group demanded that Kalorned face him in a duel. Our Agent already told him about the three Tests in the Code, but Pheonix wasn't interested.
Kalorned > You of course will also have to demonstrate your honor as previously noted
Pheonix Jr > Kalorned too come up with meaningless excuses to avoid fights
Beers OfWar > but im guessing you'd rage hard if you lost that orthrus
Beers OfWar > it would explain why you're such a puss with it
Kalorned > ya'll are doing great
Beers OfWar > ur garbage bro its okay
The altercation in local attracted a crowd. They insisted that Kalorned stop bumping miners and engage in PvP on their own terms. Otherwise they would subject our Agent to dire consequences: More insults in local chat.
Kalorned > No one ever wants to finish one of the three tests to duel? why is that
Kalorned > Kalorned can only guess that everyone is lazy
Ozora Tsasa > no, we just dont like bully fucks picking on our miners. GTFO
Beers OfWar > allow duals ye pussy
Beers OfWar > defend your honor
The insults and tears weren't effective, so Kalorned's challengers resorted to a strategy that one might call "hostile begging".
Uber Fackerie > the 3 tests that james 315 created because he knew that new order plebs lacked sufficient skill. These tests were made so that members had a way out of legitimate pvp
Uber Fackerie > FACT
Kalorned > Just complete the test then
Pheonix Jr > fckin pleb
Beers OfWar > still sais pussy when i dual request you
Kalorned > You may need a new video card
Kalorned brushed off the nonsense. After years of dealing with Code violators, he was used to it.
Beers OfWar > get rekt by this brutix plebian so i can move this shit talk to comments sextion of Zkill
Uber Fackerie > oh it definitely says pussy
Uber Fackerie > CCP actually coded it in for all new order RP fuckbags
Beers OfWar > defend your honor swine
Our Agent identified a representative of yet another mercenary alliance: Uber Fackerie was a member of Short Bus Mercenaries. How many organizations were affiliated with Mission Ready Mining?
Beers OfWar > who the fuck wont fight a brutix with an orthrus
Beers OfWar > if i were in an orthrus getting dualed by a brutix i would totes demolish said brutix
Beers OfWar > 2007 and this garbage at eve
Beers OfWar > he has been playing 15$ a month since 2007 to be the most risk adverse plebian iv met lol
MRM and its friends were powerless to stop Kalorned from bumping and ganking. They were equally powerless to persuade him to abandon the Code. Time for a new approach:

Fly Fearless, the alliance that Mission Ready Mining belongs to, initiated a wardec. Kalorned was now at war with over 2,400 pilots.

...Actually, that's not totally accurate. The New Order Gamis Affiliates was the corp that Kalorned's gank alts belonged to. Kalorned himself, who did all the bumping, was a member of a different corporation, Psychedelic Llamas. Thus, MRM had paid for a war with a corp filled with -10 security status Catalyst pilots. As for Kalorned, they could only give him the carebear stare.
Kalorned > o/ Lurswena Ice - You will need a permit to mine tonight
Lurswena Ice > Kalorned yeah, then come gank me
Lurswena Ice > or wait Im to fat for you! :D
Lurswena Ice > this is boring.. I guess will go sleep
The next day, Kalorned returned to the Gelhan belts and bumped as usual. One by one, the MRM miners "got bored", "were full", or suddenly "felt like doing something else".
Kalorned > o/ Ragnar gunn Alexander - you will need a mining permit to mine tonight
Klarice Bloodborne > lul, permit my nuts.
Justin Enderas > Oooh, Kalorned is here :o
Kalorned > o/
Kalorned > o/ Belshil Ataru You need a mining permit to mine tonight
Bumping is a great way to induce denial in a carebear. They simply can't believe that a bumper can stop them from mining. It doesn't make sense to them. This can cause a miner to become even more disconnected from reality than usual:
Slippy Nip > guess he doesnt
Slippy Nip > Seems to mining fine atm
Slippy Nip > You shouldnt be trying to show authority when you have none kid
Kalorned > Do go on, I'm interested to hear more about how one mines while docked
Slippy Nip went into denial. He claimed that bumping didn't do anything, and he pretended that MRM was still happily mining away in Gelhan.
Slippy Nip > go check the belts mate
Kalorned > checked
Slippy Nip > just because you chase one or two miners away doesnt mean theyre not instantly replaced by others
Kalorned > Ai, look at all the replacements here
In fact, Gelhan's ice anomaly and all of its asteroid belts were now empty of miners. Kalorned admired the newly Code-compliant system.

Behind the scenes, the members of MRM were furious. This "Code" business had gone on long enough. They urged their mercenary friends to declare war on Kalorned's corp.

To be continued...


  1. An excellent story – the vicious miners of Gelhan can only rant and rave in local, whilst ougunned and outclassed by a single Agent of the New Order.

    1. It's funny how dozens of people can't even deal with one person. Just goes to show how spineless the carebears are and how USELESS the so called mercenaries are at tracking down someone.

  2. The only way this story would have been any better is if Kalorned had got me to write it up.

    Instead of James.

    1. Implying the story is over ;) There's still so much more to come.

    2. Kalorned Is going to marry Beers OfWar

    3. No, I meant I would have put in more literary quotes...

      "We few, we brave few, we band of brothers..."

      That kinda stuff. Made it educational.

    4. POG/miner, calm down. Any real soldier would laugh as I did and/or not care.
      Your tears are delicious and if you ever did deploy, you were most likely a fobbit / px ranger.

    5. Anon 5:25am

      Bing's quote is from Shakespeare's Henry V, given by Harry before his vastly outnumbered English & Welsh troops slaughtered the French at Agincourt in 1415.

      Whatever the hell that has to do with the US military - other than an old TV show - is anyone's guess, but the French force strikes a surprising parallel with you and other carebears: mouthy, full of piss and wind, and destined to abject failure.

      Learn some history, you dribbling imbecilic cockwomble.

    6. It's Shakespeare you illiterate Anon. Henry V.

    7. Bing's literary knowledge always brings a tear to my eye.

    8. Nitetime video you are not a soldier.

    9. Wow, that's a lot of POG tears. Too bad you didn't address the fact that your first wall of tears was about a quote from Shakespeare that you misattributed to US Armed Forces because you are ignorant.
      It's plebs like you that make people think all Soldiers are just as ignorant.

      Also curious that you capitalized bin laden and oddly, gasoline, but not Soldier.

  3. One man controls the entire system. Lol.

    1. Yeah God does, not you shits.

    2. I don't even play this game m8. Pretty sure the ONE TRUE GOD does not either.

    3. Doesn't play game. Whines in comments section of blog about game. #carebearlogic

    4. Claims to be elite fighters. doesn't even fight combatants.

      Nazi logic.

    5. You should research our killboards a bit. Plenty of "combatants". Not our fault they aren't at they keyboard when the fight starts.

    6. Yeah checked em, nope, no combatants. Try again.

  4. "Kalorned was now at war with over 2,400 pilots."
    Translation: 2400 free targets for Kalorned.

  5. The 2500-man alliance pays mercenaries to fight their battles? They should take all those mission boats and refit them for PvP. Then they'd be the PvP ready miners. That would be a huge morale boost for line members--they'd be playing EVE for the first time!

    1. On the other hand, Merc tears of rage = best tears of rage.

      Did I read a VMG member call a CODE member 'risk adverse'?

      An oxymoron if I ever heard one.

    2. The 2500-man alliance pays mercenaries to fight their battles? They should take all those mission boats and refit them for PvP. Then they'd be the PvP ready miners. That would be a huge morale boost for line members--they'd be playing EVE for the first time!

    3. You do not get to dictate how people play the game.

  6. Pretty boring read, some killmails or battle reports would be nice.

    1. Anonbears come here daily to whine when we kill stuff and whine when we don't post kills on our blog.
      Thanks for bringing up our pageview counter I guess...

    2. Anonbears come here daily to whine when we kill stuff and whine when we don't post kills on our blog.
      Thanks for bringing up our pageview counter I guess...

  7. Yawn...more trolling by chickenshit griefers...go back to playing WoW.

    1. The carebears need to go back to WoW because Blizzard VERY MUCH does what they say. World PVP on pvp servers is a fucking joke. It's still ruled by PVE carebears at the end of the day.

  8. wow antigankers are still failing hard

  9. wow antigankers are still failing hard

  10. MINERBUMPING HAS BEEN NERFED AGAIN. I'd like to thank all the crying and bitching from the whiny little code Nazis for this honor of nerfing them once again.

    It truly is a great feeling claiming such great victories against such an oppressive regime like this one and knowing that no matter what they do they cannot win against such metagaming skills.

    Trolls win, ALWAYS!

    1. Yawn.. the hisec failitia "blog" has been moderated since it's inception.
      We only moderate to keep out filth and garbage from fail trolls like yourself.

    2. Hey a nerfed blog is a nerfed blog, you are the group saying nerfing is bad.

  11. ReeeeeeeeeeeeeeperJuly 28, 2017 at 4:42 AM

    Is shardani still killing minors?

  12. Meanwhile... While ag was failing and anonymous bears were whining on our blog... This happened:

    1. Inner Hell have a strong reputation as gankers. They love to pop out of wormholes and kill ratting supers and Rorquals. Apparently this one was seized with a fit of bot-aspirancy the moment he entered James 315 Territory.

      Patience pays off for Australian Excellence!

  13. I've got to say. I saw the war report. You guys (CODE) got your asses handed to you. It was a wall of red. Your false bravado doesn't fool anyone

    1. What do you expect from a less than 1% bunch of idiots.


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