Thursday, July 20, 2017

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Kalorned humbled the Mission Ready Mining corp by single-handedly shutting down its mining operation in the Gelhan system. Despite its paper membership of thousands, Mission Ready Mining was unable to break Kalorned's siege of Gelhan. MRM resorted to increasingly desperate measures.
Lukka Hawke > seriously 4v4 us at the sun noob
Lukka Hawke > ill take your fucking tests
Kalorned > You will?
Lukka Hawke > syure why not
Kalorned > Great
Kalorned > Just pick one of the three tests and lets begin
Few of our enemies are willing to invoke the duel Tests; they lack the Valour, Wisdom, and Fortitude necessary to complete them. Lukka Hawke claimed he was ready to step up.
Lukka Hawke > here i will take your tests
Lukka Hawke > if you take my tests
Kalorned > The onus is not on me to prove my honor friend
Kalorned > You are the one who so badly wants to duel
Lukka Hawke > well you wont take my tests though
Within seconds, Lukka chickened out. He withdrew his challenge to duel Kalorned.
Kalorned > Of course not, I have no reason to
Lukka Hawke > same to you asshole
Lukka Hawke > lol
The remaining MRM members in Gelhan were again disappointed by the failure of one of their champions to defeat Kalorned.
Sunjiu > i see fear in you words
Kalorned > That's interesting
Kalorned > It so happens I see bot aspirancy in yours
RM24 > who's the bot... maybe we can have some fun with him
RM24 > from someone with the ethics of Hitler
Since they were completely unable to mine ice, the carebears had little alternative but to "speak truth to power". Which is to say, whine in local.
Sunjiu > this is fun prove to my guild mate iam a bot please
Kalorned > No further proof is needed beyond tonights conversation
Kalorned > You have been found guilty of bot aspirancy
RM24 > LOL... that's hysterical
RM24 > Kalorned know he's not a bot... but you on the other hand with scripting
The evening's events reached the point where Kalorned felt it was appropriate to individually judge some of the miners. They didn't take it well. In spite of Kalorned's ability to stop them from mining, they refused to accept the legitimacy of his rule.
Lukka Hawke > well Kalorned its been boring but im gonna go do ffaction warfare. fight people who are actually not cowards
Kalorned > Lukka Hawke have a wonderful evening
Lukka Hawke > Kalorned i hope you fly into the sun
Lukka Hawke > actually let me rephrase that. i dont really care about you at all
Initially hopeful that our Agent would "get bored and go away", the docked-up miners got bored and went away.
Redneck Reed > your not going to get anyone to pay you
Redneck Reed > your a joke
Kalorned > You can say whatever you like, friend
Kalorned > As long as you're happy, I'm happy
Redneck Reed > im not your friend
The New Order isn't satisfied merely by demonstrating our supremacy. We want to win the hearts and minds of the people we govern. Kalorned took the first steps.
Kalorned > Everyone is my friend
redneck atkinson > Kalorned wered you go
Kalorned > Right here my friend
Krominal > Kill: Lordiana Blood (Covetor) Kill: Lordiana Blood (Capsule) Mining without a Mining Permit is not permitted
After more than six hours of unchallenged mastery of Gelhan, Kalorned ganked one final miner and called it a night. The next day, he returned to find that MRM had greatly strengthened its defenses. The new MRM ice mining fleet was accompanied by more than a dozen combat ships and logistics cruisers.


MRM had thousands of members, but Kalorned had something much more powerful to call upon: the Code. His gankers dove into the ice anomaly and ganked an MRM Retriever right on top of the defense fleet.


Most of the MRM defenders didn't respond quickly enough; they were likely AFK. Those who were attentive proved to be even worse at anti-ganking than the "official" Anti-Gankers. Their strategy was to counter-gank Kalorned's Catalysts. The presence of CONCORD on the Catalyst lossmails indicates that the MRM defenders didn't shave even a second off of the Catalysts' gank time.


Nevertheless, the MRM defenders took the loss well. Encouraged by their Code-compliant reactions, Kalorned felt he was making progress. As he resumed bumping operations and cleared out the ice anomaly, Kalorned decided to check in on the MRM intel channel:


The previous day, one of Kalorned's ganker alts had been mistakenly invited into the channel and still wasn't banned. Kalorned noticed a decent number of non-MRM personnel in the channel. One of them, Isabella Finn, asked for a report on Kalorned. Though one miner tried to put a brave face on things, Toxicity Dohner was out of patience and frankly admitted Kalorned had taken over Gelhan.


Despite not belonging to MRM--or perhaps because of it--Isabella was looked upon as some sort of protector. Kalorned checked her profile and discovered she was a member of Dirt Nap Squad. Often referred to by the initials "DNS", the formerly active PvP alliance is perhaps best known for its most famous member, long-time CSM villain Trebor Daehdoow.


Isabella assured the miners that if Kalorned didn't stop bumping and ganking them, DNS would show up and give him a proper beating. It appeared that Mission Ready Mining's powerful friends were about to show up in force.

To be continued...

45 comments:

  1. The New Order regime has failed

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    Replies
    1. Miner, calm down.


      -Oink

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    2. I'll calm down way down in the mine

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    3. Kill the miners way down in the hole

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    4. You miner must be killed for the glory of James, blessing be upon his name. James Akbar!

      Delete
  2. Since they were completely unable to mine ice, the carebears had little alternative but to "speak truth to power". Which is to say, whine in local. Such horseshit

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    Replies
    1. You are horse shit. James Akbar!

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    2. You are Akbar shit!

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    3. Don't mind him he just drinking the kool aid like the rest of the code Nazis, James is just monkey fucking them all and they don't even care. They think they are winning when really there just padding numbers with defenseless hits like some dictatorial government.

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  3. I will there to ice mine and dispatch this Kalorned fellow

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    Replies
    1. You will die as you are in infidel before the savior. James Akbar!

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  4. This is a good New Order story; I wonder if it'll have a happy ending?

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    Replies
    1. what all this made up fake news? get over yourself old man.

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    2. Please explain yourself, Anon, for my advanced age appears to prevent me from understanding what on earth the point is which you're trying to make.

      Bit of punctuation, grammar, and comprehension wouldn't go amiss, either, Anon, but I imagine you're yet too young to have started those classes :)

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    3. Hello Robert, make the ending a nice one.

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    4. Anon 658, please contain yourself in a drum of liquid nitrogen

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    5. We already know the ending, James has foretold of it, we will be victorious and there shall be no more miners, all will bow before James 315, blessing be upon him, and New Eden will know peace. All those who do not support our holy cause must be biomassed never to return. James Akbar!

      Delete
  5. Yet more proof that Jamey and CHODE. = Goons.

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    Replies
    1. Blasphemy You will die. James Akbar!

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  6. Impeach James315!!!!

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    Replies
    1. He is a messiah not an elected puppet, You must die. James Akbar!

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    2. He was never elected, which I think maybe someone needs to petition the CCP since he is claiming to be an elected official and that is against the terms. He is impersonating an elected official. That's a permaban. But it wouldn't matter he already has these fools mind fucked thinking they are some sort of righteous cause for the game. They do exactly the opposite of what they claim.
      1: People they gank are more likely to return to the game than leave, and continue mining.
      2: They do not prevent the inflation of PLEX they actual advance it.
      3: They don't make high sec more orderly they create chaos.

      Of course they will just bitch about this post and say otherwise like good programmed little Jamey robots.

      Delete
  7. Wow. 9 anonymous tear posts already! This series must have triggered some emotions.

    The miners of Gelhan seem like they're about to admit defeat. I don't share their faith in DNS. I eagerly await the next installment.

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    Replies
    1. End the Professor's tenure at the University!!!

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    2. It matters not his tenure, he teaches the word of James 315, may he reign forever, and all you dogs will die and never play again, you must join his light or leave forever. These are the teachings of our great savior. James Akbar!

      Delete
  8. Looks like the story has drawn out the Anon scumbags in force.
    What it must be like to not only be a coward IRL, but such a damn coward you can't even use a fake Internet name.

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    Replies
    1. They are certainly a miserable lot. The angst is especially apparent when contrasted with the cool, collected posting of the Agents. We can only hope the anons will one day find some confidence and follow our fine examples.

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    2. Professor, we anon's are the salt of the universe, the building blocks of life.

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    3. Without James 315, Blessings upon him, You are nothing, you must join us or die. We will force you to join us or biomass you from the Eve. James Akbar!

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    4. Spoken like the true professor of old. Eugene Fischer. Yup Lawrence is still a neo Nazi I see.

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    5. Whilst you professor, are the plastic garbage on the planet everyone wants to get rid of.

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  9. Yes Apache, I am the coward in all the anonymous can you smell the filthy coward.

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    Replies
    1. You admit your flaw now join us and fight the miners, and destroy all unbelievers till New Eden is cleansed and the rule of James, forever may he reign, last for an eternity. All who oppose must die. James Akbar!

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    2. Eternity doesn't exist

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  10. War update: Found a pocket with a few of them:
    Myrmidon 71m
    Skiff 267m
    Rattlesnake 646m
    viduus Eto > not very far from quiting eve ...

    I suspect the MRM doesn't purge inactives. No way there are 2500 of them running around. Marmite's also been farming them for two months. Instead of teaching their members how to do mining and missioning, MRM should teach them how to fight.

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    Replies
    1. I look forward to making you into a foot stool or maybe an umbrella basket. :)

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    2. News flash no one gives a fuck about you and your fucking war, how do you declare war on people for not wanting to PvP, how do you say that your the good guys blowing up unarmed ships. A fool is the one who believes he has won a glorious battle when they enemy had nothing to fight with.

      You guys are just fucking retarded. Nope I take that back, the mentally disabled understand the facts better than you so that makes you all just fucking brain dead.

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    3. I love seeing the content we create inspiring others such as the good professor to take the mantle and continue our efforts for complete compliance amongst High Sec! Kudos to you good sir!

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  11. How CODE acts:

    Government agencies at all levels aimed to exclude Jews from the economic sphere of Germany by preventing them from earning a living. Jews were required to register their domestic and foreign property and assets, a prelude to the gradual expropriation of their material wealth by the state. Likewise, the German authorities intended to "Aryanize" all Jewish businesses, a process involving the dismissal of Jewish workers and managers, as well as the transfer of companies and enterprises to non-Jewish Germans, who bought them at prices officially fixed well below market value. From April 1933 to April 1938, "Aryanization" effectively reduced the number of Jewish-owned businesses in Germany by approximately two-thirds.

    What code forces miners to pay for:

    During the Nazi era, German authorities reintroduced the Jewish badge as a key element in their plan to persecute and eventually to destroy the Jewish population of Europe. They used the badge not only to stigmatize and humiliate Jews but also to segregate them and to watch and control their movements.

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  12. http://i.imgur.com/BdjYV.jpg?1

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  13. I bet another great win for one of our finest agents in eve.

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    Replies
    1. Yup your rules state even when you don't really do shit you win. Everybody gets a trophy.

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  14. Don't kid yourselves. Even the dirtiest pirates from the birth of EVE have been carebears. They use alts to bring them goods at cheap prices and safely, rather than live with consequences of their in game actions on their main, from concord to prices

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    Replies
    1. Are you retarded?

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    2. Everyone in the code is retarded

      Delete

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