Wednesday, July 11, 2018

How Not to Comply

Agent Ernst Steinitz had a dilemma. He came across an unlicensed Mackinaw mining in a 0.8 security system--and he wasn't sure if he had the firepower necessary to destroy it.

Then our Agent took a look at the miner's corporation. This gave him some extra confidence.

The miner, one ButtStomp, lost his untanked Mackinaw. It had an invulnerability field equipped--but the miner never bothered to activate it.

ButtStomp fumed. He was one of the countless "new returning players" who have been infesting the asteroid belts lately. Though he claimed to be completely out of isk, Agent Ernst sent the miner some information about mining permits and moved on.

Not long afterward, Ernst noticed something intriguing going on in the MinerBumping channel. Though plenty of carebears were dying, there weren't many exhumers around. Ernst had just killed ButtStomp's exhumer. If he could only gank another one, he'd win 250 million isk! But where to find one?

Oh yeah. Ernst returned to the exact same asteroid belt where he'd ganked ButtStomp earlier.

Despite his lack of money, ButtStomp managed to purchase another exhumer. And having failed to learn his lesson the first time, ButtStomp downgraded from an untanked Mackinaw to an anti-tanked Hulk.

Now our Agent proudly presented the killmail in MinerBumping. Some other contraband had been destroyed by his fellow Agents, but this was the first exhumer kill posted since the contest began.

Crime doesn't pay, but the Code certainly does.

When Ernst checked his wallet to see the prize money, he noticed something that shocked him: ButtStomp had sent him 10 million isk just minutes before the second gank!

The miner was furious. Of course, miners are always furious--hence their need to "relax" by illegally mining. Ernst pulled up local chat and found more negative feedback from the miner.

Our Agent truly hadn't noticed the permit purchase before he performed the gank; the miner hadn't bothered to send him an EVEmail along with the isk payment. But Ernst also knew that ButtStomp's permit purchase was void anyway: Anti-tanked Hulks are forbidden by the Code.

There was one other thing. When ButtStomp sent the isk, he left a revealing message in the isk transfer "reason" slot...

Ten million isk is not Code-compliance; it's money. If you want to live in highsec, you need to do more than toss a token amount of isk at someone. The Code is clear: Comply or die.


  1. Only an ISK-obsessed carebear would assume everyone watches their wallet like a hawk. And that Reason he provided broke the Code:
    Miners are required to put aside their prejudices and treat gankers with respect.

  2. ButtStomp > "I remember why I quit"

    By killing that carebear Agent Ernst has provided an invaluable service. Ernst is helping remind the shitters why their type don't belong in EVE. Now buttstomped can find something more his speed, something pinker, and maybe not shardani his family over his own failure at PVP in a PVP game.

    Think of the children. Save the kids!

    No, not for littlejohnnie to piddle! You sick carebears need to stop molesting children. ag and other shardani types are such human scum, we should help them all find new games and get them out of ours. Everyone wins when a highsec shitter "quits" EVE.


  3. ButtStomp got the DickStomp

  4. I am CCP Tara and I approve of this post.

  5. No permit and loyalty pledge in bio = dead algae.

    Just flush them all down the s bend of new eden. Miners are literally the Aids virus of eve online.

    I hope shardani's wife and kid did not contract it.

    1. Even if ButtStomp had a permit, it would have been revoked. Who thinks they can get away with telling an Agent to piss off just because they paid isk.

    2. Think of the children.

      No! Not like that littlejohnniepiddler! Lol, you silly ag scumbag, kids are not for trix!

      There are some sick shitters in that ag group. What would you give to study some of those personality assessments :)

      It's not guilty by association, ag shitters are guilty by nature.


  6. Meh seems made up

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