Sunday, December 8, 2019

Kills of the Week

You know, there's a lot of talk about raffles and casinos and gambling these days. Some people love the idea of gambling in EVE. Others are adamantly opposed to it. Yet for all of the talk--for and against--people sometimes forget that there's already gambling going on in EVE. Everyone in highsec who disobeys the Code is playing a deadly game of chance. If you choose to undock without a permit, you're rolling the dice. And, inevitably, you will lose. Because in the long run, the Code--like the house--always wins. Always!

Thank you, thank you. Please remember to tip your Agents.

From the week of December 1st @ 00:00 EVEtime through December 7th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

What's the surest way to lose 15.8 billion isk, short of simply scrapping everything in your hangars? Tsunakia came close to assembling the perfect "gank me" ship. Everything she owned was destroyed by a single ganker, Agent Narl' Amhar. This bot-aspirant was a lazy one.

RyuYoung Lee chose the bling boat option. Spending his isk on a Marshal worth over 10 billion isk, the carebear autopiloted into the Bagodan system--which has been heavily patrolled of late. Agents Rante Charante, Ariku Orenuk, Ukira Kunero, and Vlada Inkunen blapped the blingy battleship.

After all these years, Uedama continues to attract unattended jump freighters. Taja Rhu allowed his 8 billion isk Anshar to make its way into highsec's most notorious graveyard. Agents Jason Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joel Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Josiah Kusion, and iPreferPads reminded Taja what the Kusion name means.

With just 1,675 hitpoints, mancom jun's Bestower was hardly better armored than a Capsule. He was caught by Agent Votre Dieu, who spotted the carebear heading to Niarja. Frankly, Niarja isn't much safer than Uedama.

It all makes sense now.

It was apparently a good week for solo ganking, because caprices's 3.8 billion isk Golem was also destroyed by a single Agent...

...And he wasn't even suicide ganking. Why do people in expensive ships insist on picking fights with Agent Krig Povelli?

Salgoud Junior lost his 600 million isk Hulk (completely untanked, naturally) and left his pod to die. Agent Pyro Regyri zapped the pod and added another 2.8 billion isk to Salgoud's lossboard.

Greedy carebears love their Crystal implants--almost as much as our Agents love shattering them.


  1. Apparently even the saltiest of commenters can't find any fault in this week's parade of victories. This week, by the way, marks the Code's 418th week of consecutive wins, which commenced just over eight years ago when the Saviour's seminal Manifesto appeared on the old forums and Order was established in Highsec society.
    Praise James 315!


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