Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Fantastic Bot-Aspirants, Part 1


Beware the carebear who was ganked for "absolutely no reason".


A furious Solomon Iskander entered the MinerBumping channel and demanded to know why his Occator had been ganked.


Said Occator was carrying 4.8 billion isk, which suggested one reason why it might have been ganked.


Solomon insisted that he hadn't been on autopilot at the time. Yet he was ganked by a group of Nordwind. pilots who are known for feasting upon autopiloting Deep Space Transports.


To learn the truth of the matter, our Agents put Solomon to the test. Was he an honest fellow--or just a bot-aspirant who once had 10 million isk to spare?


Fearing that the Agents might have found a Code violation, Solomon tried to cover his tracks.


Almost immediately, the carebear expressed doubts and cynicism. It did not appear that he had much respect for highsec's Code enforcers.


Less than 5 minutes into the conversation, Solomon unleashed a torrent of profanity against the Code and highsec's Saviour. A Goofus cannot hide his true nature for long.


Solomon raged. His chances of scoring reimbursement isk plummeted. This, in turn, made the miner even more sour.


The typical bot-aspirant can barely stand being in the company of humans; they can only tolerate a conversation if they feel they can get money out of it.


Solomon pretended to be disgusted by Agents not following their own Code. But if he truly wished to pursue this line of argument, he probably shouldn't have opened with "fuck the Code".


In addition to the 4.8 billion isk Occator loss, Solomon revealed that he'd lost another 4 billion isk on collateral for the failed courier contract. Non-compliance is expensive. Despite his hatred for the New Order and its Code, Solomon desperately needed reimbursement isk.


...So he purchased two mining permits. Would it be enough?

To be continued...

17 comments:

  1. "A goofus cannot hide his true nature for long"

    Always!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think a better reply to you in game should be “jf” ... for James fellator since you spend almost all of your time doing that.

      Delete
  2. He bought a permit.
    He got blapped with permit in his bio.
    He then bought another permit expecting what.?..that it would pay out 8+bill in hauler and collateral losses?


    He deserves everything he gets in EVE.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Buying a new permit after one is revoked is a lot like standing up after a fall. You can't go around on your knees forever. Besides, that's the only way to gain the necessary stature to be have his petition for reimbursement considered.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I mean we all know there's going to be reimbursement, but I have no issues with reading about idiots doing idiotic things

      Delete
    2. No reimbursement**

      Delete
    3. Your Freudian slip is very revealing. All of you know deep down that Code Agents are the most honest and trustworthy players in EVE. Which is why you are constantly entrusting us with billions of ISK. And rightly so, for we know what is best for the carebear.

      Delete
    4. Though the job may be dirty and fraught with hardship, the honour lies in performing it sincerely to the best of our ability. We've got to have our ducks in a row or some carebear may receive reimbursement on a technicality, James forbid!

      Delete
    5. Hardship? I just strained myself laughing.

      Delete
  4. Overmind, honorable knight of the new orderNovember 28, 2019 at 1:57 AM

    down with the old guard!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you're not Old Guard, you're no guard!

      Always!

      Delete
    2. “I want that Easter Ham. Where's my Thanksgiving Turkey?” Miss Trixie snarled”

      Delete
  5. You are doing a great job. Now we are sharing with you all the Tresurebox store products which you will be buy online in a single click. Garden shed nz online in a single click,

    ReplyDelete
  6. I wonder, were you the little boy who wet the bed and giggled while he pulled the wings off flies or were you the one who set fires and drooled while he pulled the wings off flies?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Since it makes you react perhaps you should do some self examination as to why that is.

    ReplyDelete
  8. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/sociopath

    Try this if you are not sure.

    ReplyDelete

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