Friday, November 1, 2019

Legacy of Lahnius, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... Bedeviled by the notoriety he gained from the "Tapestry of Tears" series, Lahnius sought to reinvent himself as a triumphant Anti-Ganker. Yet he was haunted by demons: unpleasant memories of one Agent Alt 00.

Lahnius yearned for the respect and status that he assumed would come from being a leader of the anti-Code resistance.

...But said respect and status proved elusive. No one would take Lahnius seriously--not even miners.

Lahnius came to the conclusion that Alt 00--even though he hadn't seen the Agent in quite some time--was the source of all of his problems. He had to defeat her.

The anti-Code rebel set out on a campaign to discredit and defeat Alt 00, retroactively. He would rewrite the Tapestry of Tears and give it a different ending.

Lahnius was accustomed to making soliloquies in local chat. But a new problem surfaced: Captain Ivana Gankalot. Captain Ivana was familiar with the Tapestry of Tears series on MinerBumping and challenged Lahnius on each of his outrageous claims.

Since Lahnius had never tasted victory before, he didn't know what it looked like. So he simply repeated "I won" over and over. Would it be enough to persuade the locals?

Eventually, Lahnius realized that he would need to elaborate. He declared Alt 00 to have been banished from EVE.

Captain Ivana was uncertain of what exactly Lahnius was claiming credit for. Regardless, she had some doubts about his credibility.

New, scandalous details emerged.

Lahnius resumed his soliloquy about deceiving and defeating Alt 00. Yet his war stories failed to capture the imagination of the public who heard them.

Just as Lahnius got rolling, Captain Ivana returned to spoil the mood.

For the first time since he could remember, Lahnius found himself being persistently fact-checked in local. If he was ever going to rebuild his reputation, Lahnius would need to find a way to defeat Captain Ivana.

To be continued...


  1. Oh dear, if Lahnius is right, Alt 00 is GONE ... I can only hope that he is wrong, and in fact, I suspect he might actually be wrong.

    1. I mean, there's always zkill, and it would seem alt00 was still killing miners as recently as 5 days ago so...

  2. Self-control is an aspect of inhibitory control. It is the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behavior.

    An executive function, it's a cognitive process that is necessary for regulating one's behavior in order to achieve specific goals.

    Or just to not look like a complete loser to your peers.

    That miner has no self-control, much like a spoiled child.

    I would be embarrassed to act like that, in private or public.

    Lahnius should be mocked mercilessly until he learns his place at the bottom of the food chain.

  3. False agents always melt down when someone shoves the truth in their face.

    What makes them think they could be a real Agent anyway? It's like the dullard kid thinking he can grow up to be an astronaut, because his dullard parents lied to him and said he could be anything if he put his dullard mind to it.

    If his first instinct in EVE is to become a highsec mining shitterbot, then he will be a highsec mining shitterbot for life.

    We can't fight nature, especially our own. People never really change, even when given every opportunity AND clear instructions.

    But never fear, highsec mining shitters, the Code will correct you, repeatedly, until you realize you belong in wow, not EVE.

    And don't worry yourselves about CCP's financials, what EVE needs is quality, not quantity.


  4. Lahnius

    La hnius

    La anus

    Isn't that french?

  5. the old guard is failing harder every day.

    never forget Viirilithizu Ward, she got killed off by her own alliance.

  6. How mentally cooked is this miner.

    Imagine pretending to be something for so long ,because of jealousy,that you become so toxic.

    Miners, just shoot them.


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