Friday, November 8, 2019

Finder's Fee

As everyone knows, Agents of the New Order don't like to see unlicensed miners mucking about in highsec. And you know who else is offended by the sight of miners?

...Other miners.

Richard The-Crusader, a bot-aspirant miner whose exploits were covered in the Parental Advisory series, contacted Agent Lewak and asked him to terminate some illegal miners. But judging by Richard's behavior as recounted on MinerBumping, his motives were suspect. Here's a tidbit to refresh your memory:

Even worse, when making his report to Lewak, Richard requested a "finder's fee". Was he still motivated by greed for isk?

Agent Lewak now had two issues to deal with: A report about illegal mining operations, and Richard's attitude. Our hero resolved to handle both matters in accordance with the Code.

Our Agents are not so easily manipulated--and they know not to trust the word of a miner.

From the moment Lewak uttered the word "permit", Richard was triggered. The very idea that Richard might be required to open his wallet was enough to make him squeal. That said something about him.

Richard's odd ramblings about trying to get miners to go to nullsec proved ineffective. Next he tried bribery.

Agent Lewak was not for sale. But to make absolutely sure he hadn't misjudged Richard's intentions, Lewak name-dropped the Saviour of Highsec. If Richard truly had a bot-aspirant heart, the mention of James 315 would trigger him further still.

Sure enough, Richard was rattled. He confessed to being a miserly rebel.

Lewak concluded that Richard was indeed acting in bad faith. As to the illegal mining operation that Richard reported, Lewak and his friends would deal with it at their leisure. In the meantime, Richard needed to hand over 10 million isk. Would that arrangement satisfy him?

Richard didn't realize it, but he helped our Agent locate a Goofus after all.


  1. His son quite a game about spaceship combat, because the game developers wouldn't punish the player who engaged him in spaceship combat?

    I mean the first image on the EVE website shows a space battle taking place, as if that isn't enough of a hint...

  2. would u want to play carebearland with your dad?

  3. "A matter of principle". Right. Even interpreting the rookie-system griefing rules in the broadest possible (and dumbest) sense, Dick The-Crusader forfeited any protection by having his kid fly a nearly two year old character in one.

    And what are the chances the kid actually wised up to the fact that his own Dad was using him like a bot to scrape up isk in the most boring way possible?

    Or did he figure out that not only had his own father thrown him into an asteroid belt "for fun", but that he wasn't shown how to protect himself....because his own father doesn't know how?

    "Dad, why is your killboard only red?"
    "Because CCP won't even enforce their own rules, that's why son...that's why"

    Who would wanna keep playing after realizing their father is an irredeemable Goofus?

    1. There is no son.

    2. Yup, most of the children thrown under the bus by their highsec miner parents don't even exist.

      Highsec mining cowards are the lowest of the low, and don't belong in EVE.

      The best thing for EVE is to gank lying shitters like richard until they make like shardani, and quit.

  4. The ten million ISK permit is a litmus test for Goofus-hood. Richard The-Crusader was swiftly identified by his refusal to bear the expense.

  5. OverminerviiridaniloverNovember 9, 2019 at 2:43 AM

    new guard failing daily, how very chodeanon


  6. Overnewguardfailsdailyalways!November 9, 2019 at 5:37 AM

    He calls newbros "noobs" and his characters "toons" and hides in a starter system, that's all I need to know about the shitter.

    He needs a lesson in EVE. His kind should be ganked, not heard. Greasy miner.

    It's every players duty to EVEmail him a link to today's post. Just to remind him of his place at the bottom of the EVE food chain.

  7. LOL, you guys are STILL doing this bullshit?

    0 and 10 for me, you've NEVEr gotten your bribes from me and you never will..

    come see me in 0.0, cowards.

    1. Silly carebears. Always acting like 0.0 is the last boss of EVE.

    2. teneferhefer likes big coqNovember 9, 2019 at 6:23 PM

      tenecerousanon sounds mad, plus he's a coward, challenging soneone to fight but not telling us who to fight.

      All of teneferous is just PHags anyway. No PVPers there.

      Why so mad, PHag?

    3. Come see me at Dodixie, nullbear.

      Now go mine some more, you are behind quota and the rents due, slave.


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