Sunday, January 26, 2020

Kills of the Week

The Code is the most powerful force in EVE. If they're being honest, even our enemies would have to agree with that. But the bot-aspirant carebears tend to be greatly dishonest; they can't even be honest with themselves. That's why they undock in unlicensed ships: They fool themselves into thinking they won't be ganked. But they always get ganked. As we can see from this selection of kills from January 19th @ 00:00 EVEtime through January 25th @ 23:59 EVEtime...



CCP's decision to introduce more Leopards into the game has only resulted in more carebears losing stuff. That's the typical pattern, of course.


Late last week, stevesteve Aldent was caught and killed by Agent Ormara Muutaras. Apparently ol' stevesteve bought into the lie that Leopards are too quick to be killed. Perhaps he should've considered why CCP had to create more Leopards in the first place! stevesteve's shuttle contained a pair of Zorya's Entropic Radiation Sinks, worth a total of nearly 9 billion isk. Ouch.



TidNes was yet another carebear who failed to recognize the magnetic quality of her bling. Her Leshak was ganked by Agents Narl' Amhar, Votre Dieu, Astrid Tyrfing, Rungerd, and Ingrid Scylding. The ship was worth 5.5 billion isk according to zKillboard's estimate, which doesn't even include a value for the six Abyssal modules equipped--or the Abyssal module in the cargo bay.



Although many miners are addicted to decadence, some prefer to use cheap ships. They think to themselves, "If I lose my Covetor, at least it will be inexpensive to replace." Bizarrely, Vaako Krone couldn't stop equipping the most expensive stuff he could find--resulting in a 1.1 billion isk Covetor killmail. Agent Druklin Statille was happy to collect it.



What a strange week this was! Outback Bobbie lost 8 billion isk in an interceptor. She was smartbombed in lowsec by Agents Cautiously Optimistic, YOUJUSTGOT SMOKED, and Depressed and Aroused, who had no intention of allowing her to smuggle contraband between highsec and nullsec.


Intact Armor Plates? Not anymore, they're not.



Despite CCP's repeated efforts to keep freighters from dying in highsec, the carebears can't stop throwing them away. thunderc0w went AFK and autopiloted an unfit 23 billion isk freighter into Uedama. What did he think the Kusion family was going to do, throw him a parade? The Kusions were joined by The League of Extraordinary Opportunists and they killed the AFK criminal. Agents Joel Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jason Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Werner Karl Heisenberg, Wolfgang Ernest Pauli, Louis de Broglie, James Prescott Joule, Nick Moiseenko, Tim Berners Lee, Joseph John Thomsom, Edwin Powell Hubble, Erwin Schreodinger, Linus Pauling, Darth vaIdemar, and DaergaarTWO did well.



Agent Aaaarrgg celebrated his 30,000th kill this week when he ganked an appropriately blingy 794 million isk Hulk. Later, for his 30,001st kill, he ganked a rookie ship. And inside that rookie ship, he found this:


Yes, Scorpius 57 went AFK and autopiloted a rookie ship while holding onto 3.7 billion isk worth of implants.


You know, you'd think that these Code violators would learn something from watching Aaaarrgg kill 30,000 of their kind. I suppose he needs to kill another 30,0000 to reinforce the message.

14 comments:

  1. "Intact Armor Plates? Not anymore, they're not" James never misses. I loled.

    Then I loled again when I thought how I'm NOT living in a trailer park in pearl river, married to my fatass cousin/wife lillie lowrent.

    Man, I made some good choices! ;)

    Always!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The League of Extraordinary Opportunists

    Finally, truth in advertising.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Agent Aaaarrgg has more kills in highsec than some "nullsec alliances" have total.

    That guy likes killing highsec shitters, a lot.

    Stand up dude right there, looking out for EVE and the community.

    Trailer park spergs from Pearl Piver are afraid of him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aaaarrgg is an absolute master of his craft, much respect.

      Delete
  4. Perhaps he should've considered why CCP had to create more Leopards in the first place!

    ReplyDelete
  5. IM IN MINNEAPLOIS, THE C-VIRUS IS EVERYWHERE, PEOPLE ARENT EVEN BOTHERING TO WEAR MASKS, THEY ARE PILING BODIES UP IN CITY PARK, FUNERAL PYRE LIGHTS THE SKY, I CAN HEAR SHOOTING, SUSTAINED AUTOMATIC FIRE, HAVE TO GO THEY ARE

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. in before a carebear uses the corona virus epidemic as an excuse to be AFK.

      Delete
  6. Calm down miners. There's no need to cry.

    I would like to congratulate two fine agents:
    * Agent Ormara Muutaras for his relentless effort to eradicate Leopards
    * Agent Aaaarrgg for his 30,000th kill

    Praise James 315!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IINO

      Imperium In Name Only

      Hiding in highsec while your alliance fights for their null home.

      Delete
    2. Oh my! The crabbing space must be in grave danger if nullbears have to nag Agents of The Code to hurry to their defense.

      As the proverb goes - you can beat the miners out of highsec, but you can't beat highsec out of the miners.

      Delete
    3. Your "proverb" makes my case. Did you get dropped as a child?

      Try to keep up

      Delete

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