Thursday, January 16, 2020

Ragamuffin, Part 1

The Agents of the New Order are famous for their compassion. But just how much compassion do they have?


The answer: A lot.


Agent Dishrag caught Talvanenss in the act of mining without a permit. Talvanenss was also guilty of AFK mining and, generally, mining with a Venture in highsec. Agent Dishrag would've been justified in hating this miner, yet he offered to teach him the law.


The Venture pilot turned out to be a foul, ungrateful creature.


Now Dishrag's compassion would truly be put to the test. Surely no one would want to help Talvanenss under these conditions.


Incredibly, Dishrag directed the new player to a "rookie" system. All of the anti-Code carebears who accuse gankers of being bullies and griefers should hang their heads in shame and throw a parade in honour of our Agent. Wow!


Alas, the miner was entirely from Goblok stock.


Yet Dishrag's compassion knew no bounds. If there was even the tiniest glimmer of humanity flickering somewhere beneath that bot-aspirant shell, our Agent aimed to find it and cultivate it. Perhaps something could be made of Talvanenss.


...Probably not, though.


Agent Dishrag was fascinated by the gruesome spectacle. He sought to understand the miner. But there wasn't much to him. So Dishrag left the miner while he attended to other matters. However, Talvanenss didn't know what to do without a Venture. The only thing he knew how to do besides mining was sending EVEmails.


Dishrag had little hope for the miner. All he could do was direct Talvanenss to the Code and gank him whenever he got around to buying a new mining ship.


Left to his own devices, the miner lashed out in anger. Surely he wasn't going to turn into one of those miners--the ones who spam unsolicited tearmails all day?


Uh-oh.

To be continued...

23 comments:

  1. Miners are mental.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The best thing to do with folks like that shitter is to gank them until they quit.

    Like shardani

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  3. This miner sounds like he lives in a trailer down by dat dere Pearl River, in the grate state o Loooziana.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol you gonna make that cousin lovin racist redneck cry like a bitch

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    2. damn anon you really like me don't you XD

      Delete
  4. People like the miner featured here don' belong in EVE.

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  5. Surely Talvanenss must be the alt of an older carebear. To deteriorate this badly in only two days boggles the imagination.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Not only are both his parents gobloks, they are brother and sister, just like willietear.

    FFL

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    Replies
    1. btw still waiting on my retribution XD

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    2. only thing you've been able to accomplish is running your mouth XD

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    3. see I thought of something when I was spamming the comments section cause you cant seem to calm down it was unfair to the others who did calm down sorta like punishing others for the mistake for the actions of one individual and well I don't think that's fair to them to be honest. but hey you can keep running your cum trap thinking your making me "rage" or "cry" more power to you at least I can say your using that imagination. even though your insults are lacking and in need of some real overhaul.

      Delete
    4. nothing you can say is going to ruin my day in any way so insult away grover

      Delete
    5. Hahahaha you are here daily crying.

      You remind me of dorothy clicking her heels 3 times saying there is no place like home.

      You are one confused miner. Nobody wastes there new years eve/ day crying in the comments section like yourself. Do you really think after that epic meltdown you had that anybody believes you are not mad?

      Don't bother answering, my mind is made up about that fact hahahahaha.

      Delete
    6. Yea, willie is a real dipshit

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    7. I snap my fingers and that low I.Q. shitter cries like a bitch.

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    8. who's really the one snapping there fingers? your still talking about me XD

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    9. who's a good little bitch boy XD

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  7. All the miners be gangsta until they get a 30 day vacation from the game for EULA violations.

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    Replies
    1. agents would never pull the victim card would they?

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    2. lol damn I got under your skin didn't I anonie

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  8. omg miner calm down!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. William Greer's ongoing meltdown is evidence of his need for CHAMOMILE TEA, brought to you by LIPTON! Chamomile, the calming tea, now with ANTIOXIDANTS!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. awww look at you little anonie having all sorts of a melt down XD

      Delete

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