Friday, May 10, 2013

BIG Tears


Some time ago, I received the above EVEmail from Hig Hurtenflursts. When I encountered him again, I decided to touch base and see if he had changed.


Not much improvement, yet. But you never know when you're on the verge of a breakthrough.


I have collected billions of isk in mining permits alone, but I still occasionally come across people who think no one has ever paid.


Denialism and hope of an anti-Order expansion? Hig was making me nostalgic.


The suicide rate among today's youth is appalling. It's no wonder, with people passing out pro-suicide advice like it's Halloween candy. Sadly, Hig never did explain how the next expansion would destroy the New Order.


I decided to leave Hig in the penalty box while I moved on to more promising miners.


Then Hig came to life again. It was time to learn more about what made him tick.


Hig is a member of BIG, the corporation best known for its famous EVE lottery. BIG also used to be known for running rigged lottery scams--though you won't read about that in their "Community Spotlight".


I returned to the scene of Hig's crime to save the ice. Would he learn from his past mistakes?


Some questioned the legitimacy of my rule, but Hig became uncharacteristically silent. That is, uncharacteristically silent for a miner who isn't AFK mining.


Hig once again returned to the ice. I forgave him.


When Hig returned to the ice for yet another illegal mining operation, I saw a desperation in him that I hadn't seen before:


Yellow-boxing is the official "cry for help" game mechanic of EVE.


I am like Aquaman, sometimes given insufficient credit as a superhero, but I reign supreme in my own domain. According to Greenpeace, 80% of the world's life resides in the oceans. Just like 80% of EVE accounts are in highsec!


Everyone who plays EVE must decide whether he will fill the role of a hero or a villain. I am happy to say that I am a superhero.

17 comments:

  1. Hey James I fucked your mom last night and goddamn can she suck a dick!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Originality: 0/10
      Sick Burn Quotient: 0/10
      Style points for using all words of one syllable: 6/10
      Style points lost by writing "God damn" as "goddamn": all 6.

      Overall: 0/10

      Delete
    2. I've always wondered how being good at something very pleasant can be an insult.

      - Robert Leheirault

      Delete
  2. Is it true that James 315 started a second account named 'The Mittani' so he could experiment with the corporate and alliance interface?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, "The Mittani" is not a valid account name.

      Delete
  3. James i hope one day the entire area in which you think you rule wardecs you and makes you cry like the little bitch you are!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why wait? Wardec him now.

      Delete
    2. He can't wardec him now, he's too much of a little bitch to do it.

      Delete
    3. Yeah i hear it would be really hard to kill some suicide ganking alts. Really. Hard.

      Delete
  4. I never stop being amused by highsec people getting dunked on with their own shitty mechanics they advocated for.

    ReplyDelete
  5. When are you James 315 going to stop this bull Sh...you did go so good?!? I did support you but now your supporting SCAMMERS like EROTICA 1!!! Or is she he IT one of your alts!!! Your loosing more and more ground! I was going to support you with 100b and more isk but now that your going that way, supporting scammers i don't think so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your libel of EROTICA 1 makes you look like a lunatic, Anon.

      Please post proof that she is a scammer.

      Delete
    2. and proof of your 100 billion....tinfoil hats.

      Delete
  6. James, I would like a link or some sign of where you got your numbers of accounts in highsec. Just out of curiosity.

    ---Alistair Drake

    Friendly Neighborhood Scoundrel

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think he was being facetious, there. Do you often go to stand-up shows and ask the comedians to provide proof that their jokes are based on reality?

      Delete
    2. Perhaps look in devblogs and/or CCP videos?

      Delete
    3. @Alana

      Thanks I'll try and do that.

      ---Alistair

      Delete

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