Friday, November 15, 2013

Never Ever's End

One of the finer perks of successfully taking over highsec is that I'm constantly the recipient of good news.


Agent Bihiri Nova of the Dwight K Schrute Holding Company sent me a heroic report about the efforts of the New Order. But every adventure starts with a "problem" to be solved, so let's meet the problem of the day:


Cloud Akimoto, CEO of Forever's End corporation, was the problem. He thought it was his right to play EVE however he wanted. Maybe so, if he wanted to play EVE within the strictures of the Code, like any normal person. But he didn't, so Bihiri declared war.


Forever's End corp turned out to be a nest of bot-aspirants. Unaware of the obscure EVE mechanic known as a "wardec", the carebears roamed blindly through highsec. Bihiri caught them and began killing them. An Orca was discovered loitering in one of my systems, and was promptly destroyed.


Horrified, the carebears of Forever's End left the corporation in droves. The EveWho record shows that the vast majority of the corp's members fled soon after they learned about that whole "not 100% safe in highsec" thing. With the corporation collapsing, Cloud Akimoto had no choice but to defend the corp himself.


...Which is where it all went wrong. Cloud lost a questionably-fit Raven when he attempted to stand against Bihiri Nova and Loroseco Kross. Having seen their CEO slain in battle, the rest of the Forever's End membership rushed for the exits.


Now the corp assets of Forever's End were in jeopardy. A force of New Order Agents assembled and prepared to attack the POS. Cloud rallied the troops for one last stand. Unfortunately, he didn't have any troops left. Cloud was on his own.


The earlier loss of Cloud's Raven cost him dearly, so he downgraded to a Drake. All it took was a few tweaks to his Raven fail-fitting, and he'd made himself a proper fail-fit Drake. It was destroyed. Cloud then scrambled to create another fail-fit Drake, using almost the exact same fitting. That one died, too. And so did the third one.


The assembled New Order forces of Bihiri Nova, Sabriz Adoudel, Jack Lennox, D35, Renneseslear X, Jer'ith Bodas, Maestro Ulv, and Sara XIII eliminated the Drakes and closed in on the POS. (Also present in the fleet was Hound pilot Heavy Met4l Queen. She'd come a long way from her days as a rebel leader. She currently resides in GoonSwarm.)


Dead Drakes tend no POSes, so the Forever's End stronghold was evacuated.


KABOOM! It was a total victory for the New Order. Bob StarSeeker, an Ibis pilot, was the only allied casualty of the battle. He was the victim of friendly fire. But then again, all of the New Order's fire is friendly.


The series of military disasters suffered by Forever's End led Bihiri to suspect that maybe they weren't the elite PvP force Cloud Akimoto had bragged about. Bihiri did the honourable thing and offered to let Cloud surrender.


Despite losing nearly all of his corp's members, Cloud insisted he would find a way to rebuild. He boasted of exploiting new EVE players by convincing them to mine illegally in return for slave wages. And they say the New Order is bad for new players?


The fight against tyranny continues. Hopefully every man, woman, and child in highsec knows of the villainy conducted under the name of Forever's End.


Cloud Akimoto claims to be "just a guy". A guy, yes, but a good guy or a bad guy? History will be his judge.

Also me. He's a bad guy.

21 comments:

  1. But we ARE entitled to play EVE any way we want to...despite what you
    clowns in the new order think...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As are the players in the New Order. And if our way happens to infringe on your way, you'd better be able to defend it.

      But we know thats just a fantasy. So fight the pitiful forum wars and whine to daddy CCP. I hear petitioning works wonders!

      -EasyKill

      Delete
    2. I never said you sheeple weren't entitled to play how you want...

      Delete
    3. Sure you're entitled to play EVE however you want. And so are we...

      Delete
    4. And so are we!

      Wait, who are "we"?

      Which side am I on!!!!

      Delete
    5. Sure, you're playing at being entitled however you want in EVE. And so are you....

      Delete
    6. And so are you! And also you you and you when you. Definitely.

      Delete
    7. No, whoever you're talking to doesn't play EVE, Niikumi.

      Delete
    8. Miners have trouble fighting back, as The Code uses every trick and loophole in the book to stay out of harms way and avoid being so easily destroyed. It's a cowards war you wage.
      Death to Code

      Delete
  2. As are we anon 9:28. The conflict occurs because our play style involves "interacting" with you for not obeying our play style. Adapt, submit, or gtfo.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just jizzed in the throat of a billy goat

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a deplorable individual. This dastardly specimen must be brought to justice!

    - Sammy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Someone should post the recorded teamspeak. It was delightful.
    :o)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Fags still refuse to come to 0.0. All talk. Love - Jinx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are such a delightful fellow. :)

      Delete
    2. 1.Insult people.
      2.Do nothing besides insult them.
      3.Claim that the people you are insulting, without any prospect of action, are all talk.
      4. ??????
      5. Profit.
      6. Love.
      7. Love is ruined by Profit.
      8. Claim that it's not your fault, that you were Jinxed.
      9. Name yourself Jinx.
      10. Back to 1.

      Delete
    3. Especially considering half the new order has alts in a 0.0 alliance or another. v0v

      Delete
    4. such a loser..always ready to cry..dut dut dut DAH!

      - Sammy

      Delete
  7. Floppy penis for everyone!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Forever's End has the right idea. You guys can eat a fat one. Fight back against oppression or die trying.

    ReplyDelete

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