Friday, August 15, 2014

Roaches in the Sunlight, Part 1

The New Order doesn't just conquer highsec, it governs highsec. To serve our people well, we need to know a lot of stuff about the people who live and work in highsec. Basically, we need an all-seeing intelligence apparatus.

Good thing we've got one.


From time to time, New Order Intelligence intercepts "chatter" from carebears attempting to unite against the government (which is to say, us). Such EVEmails never translate into action. However, a perfect highsec means everyone is mentally and emotionally on the same page. Harboring bad thoughts or feelings about the New Order is a serious violation of the Code.


The latest rabble-rousing chain-letter came from Alfonse Layate. You can tell just from reading his employment history that he's up to no good.


This time, the rebellion came with a twist. It originated in lowsec, or so its leader claimed. We all know that the highsec carebears are incapable of organizing. Could lowsec PvP'ers finally do what the bot-aspirants haven't?


Any EVE player ought to hear alarm bells going off when someone appears from out of the blue and asks for money. Nevertheless, anti-Order resistance movements often do request financial support from the miners.


This might be the first time the solicitation EVEmail actually offered some explanation of how the money would be used to fight the New Order.


According to the EVEmail, this organization of lowsec "Jedi" had absolutely no interest in profit. Removing the New Order from highsec would be a selfless act. This is also highly unusual, because the only selfless people I've met in EVE have all been members of the New Order.


The deal was to be sweetened with revenge. This might be appealing to the "victims" of the New Order, if they still believed it was possible to defeat one of our Agents.


The communication ended. No doubt about it, the sender was advocating treason.


Wait a minute, what's that extra bit at the end? I needed to zoom and enhance to make it out...


Wha-- What?!


Dramatic reveal...


In fact, it was all an elaborate sting operation. Alfonse Layate is actually Agent Alfonse Layate, a deep-cover operative for the New Order. His EVEmail was sent, with full authorization from the Saviour of Highsec, to gank recipients. Those whose mining vessels had been ganked by members of CODE. were tested for traitorous attitudes.

And the results will shock you.

To be continued...

28 comments:

  1. Brilliant! This actually surprised me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The mystery surrounding TrueVolley and their share purchase is now clear at last!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh man, TrueVolley :) He runs a bit of a bot mining army down in Tash-Murkon.

      Agent Sophaya Fortelleren and I know him well, and have been forced to distribute Void S ammo at high velocities in his and his bot fleets general direction quite a few times.

      https://zkillboard.com/character/94002840/

      I really need to find where he is hanging out these days and make sure he has a valid permit and give him a thank you for the donation to the cause!

      Delete
    2. Before thanking him, perhaps tell him that his isk was used wisely, and that the rebel cause needs more. Perhaps 20b to "really show those Code guys."

      Delete
    3. Still see him in Goram now and again...

      Delete
  3. Look like the Code has won once again! \o/

    ReplyDelete
  4. This one actually *didn't* surprise me. I knew better than to believe that a rebel is capable of writing a coherent email.

    ReplyDelete
  5. but this is so much fun!

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is beautiful! Can't wait for part 2.

    ReplyDelete
  7. http://i.minus.com/ij7HD2I1qs3aH.gif

    ReplyDelete
  8. Fantastic stuff! On tenterhooks for next instalment..

    ReplyDelete
  9. Related note: Even the CAPTCHA system used by this blog pays the proper respect to the Savior of High-Sec.

    http://puu.sh/aUhjB/9fc26aa763.jpg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps a CAPTCHA that only displays pro-New Order phrases could be implemented? In this way, a bot-aspirant or rebel wanting to troll would first be forced to praise James.

      Over time, this may serve to cure the rebel of his afflictions.

      Delete
    2. Or perhaps a randomly chosen trivia question that one could get the answer to by a complete reading of the CODE? 290x, I think you are onto something!

      Delete
  10. Well, well, well... The new order is now the government of highsec?

    Really?

    "Harboring bad thoughts or feelings about the New Order is a serious violation of the Code." Thought police anyone? Should I make a reference to 1984 here?

    Will the delusional role playing lunacy of James 315 ever end? He's a cannibal who eats the corpses of innocent miners. He has sex with his sister and his agents. His weird glowing ass was stretched out way too far. He was molested by a Catholic priest (which he admitted). So tell me James 315. What other perversions have you been secretly indulging in while refusing to undock from NO headquarters? Putting more stretch marks on the face of Loyalanon's wife? Or adding stretch marks to Erotica 1's anus?

    No NO NNOOOO!!!

    I know the real reason behind this "sting." Donations are drying up and the reimbursement funds are dwindling. It's only a matter of time before the NO run out of money. After all, I remember when E1 was banned, there was 32B in the treasury. Now it's less than 10b.

    'This might be appealing to the "victims" of the New Order, if they still believed it was possible to defeat one of our Agents.'

    Don't believe what you read. The agents die all the time. They are not gods like James 315 would lead you to believe. The New Order is dying just like their CFC overlords and the vultures are circling for their next meal.

    This is another quality trollific post from your friends at Carebears United.

    We are many. We are strong. The code is falling. The code is failing. A code free highsec is not too far off. Saving highsec from the savior of highsec, one carebear at a time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. roflmao

      Another example of what is called 'Wishful thinking'...to the extent carebears think....

      -Mike Adoulin

      Delete
    2. http://troll.me/images/sad-guy/meanwhile-at-the-anticode-hq-the-code-will-fail-the-code-will-fail-the-code-will-fail-the-code-will-fail-the-code-will-fail-the-code-will-fail-the-code-will-fail-the-code-will-fail-the-code-will-fail-the-code-will-fail-the-code-will-fail.jpg

      Delete
    3. Well, at least BM stopped linking a dead blog in his name.

      Delete
  11. PLEASE post part 2 soon!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Roaches in the Sunlight, is this story about the CODE. AT team?

    ReplyDelete

Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.