Thursday, August 7, 2014

Down the Rabbit Hole


The world is constantly changing. Bot-aspirants crave routine, and so they are unable to adapt in the face of change. The New Order, on the other hand, is all about change.


One fine day, New Order corporation Barge Cleaning Services was doing what it's famous for:


...Cleaning highsec of unwanted barges.
Nerfbat Aldent > Afternoon
Elizabeth Star Aurilen > Yes hello; I am wondering about the asset replacement program, as per your code
Elizabeth Star Aurilen > Specifically: I am in need of 2 strip miners
Nerfbat Aldent > once you purchase a mining permit
Nerfbat Aldent > we put you in contact with our reimbursement agent
Elizabeth Star Aurilen > Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll there is a conondrum on my part here.
Elizabeth Star Aurilen > I can buy the lazors cheaper than your permit.
As fate would have it, things would take an interesting turn that day. One of the former owners of an unwanted mining barge engaged in "loose talk":
Elizabeth Star Aurilen > At any rate, we are wormholers. Our HS changes daily so I won't be buying your permit. But glad our ships could die hilariously in high sec. A little bit of a change of pace compared to the T3 fleets we usually encounter.
Nerfbat Aldent > that's cool
Elizabeth Star Aurilen > We do a C5 and a C2, with C3 and C3/HS statics respectively
Elizabeth Star Aurilen > The capital escalations are insane money.
Nerfbat Aldent > yeah so I've heard
Elizabeth Star Aurilen > But you guys did get me on an out-of-date clone! bastards.
The talk of wormholes intrigued Agent Nerfbat Aldent. Of course, highsec miners frequently boast about doing things other than mining in highsec. But this was different.


Our hero considered the possibility that some illegal miners might be creating safe havens in unknown wormholes, from which they can launch further mining attacks against highsec. We've seen this happen before, as when rebel miner liberty of U.S.A.T.O retreated into a wormhole to escape Agent Bing Bangboom. (Bing followed liberty to the wormhole and destroyed her entire alliance.)


New Order Agents have long memories. Nerfbat pondered the wormhole question for a few months before the matter came up again. A fellow Barge Cleaner, Agent Killigrew Boirelle, discovered an untanked POS in a wormhole. It was owned by a corp called Nomadic Innovations. The POS showed all the signs of being used as a sanctuary for bot-aspirants.


To test his theory, Killigrew put the tower into reinforced mode. Carebears accuse the New Order of not giving people enough warning, but the reinforcement timer offered the POS owners an entire day's worth.


Our heroes joined the Nomadic Innovations corp's public channel. It took them more than 30 minutes just to realize the POS was being attacked. Why? Because they were all busy mining in highsec.


Agent Killigrew urged them to bring a Moros or some other kind of defense fleet to protect the wormhole asset. Killigrew wanted to take something, anything as a sign of good faith, that the POS owners weren't bot-aspirants.


Alas, there was nothing. So when the reinforcement timer ran out the next day, Agents from Barge Cleaning Services returned. The POS was completely undefended by its owners, who were probably AFK in a 0.7 ice anomaly or something. In response, our heroes killed the POS, its corporate hangar array, and its ship maintenance array.


...Which contained over 2 billion isk worth of ships and supplies.


The wrecked ship maintenance array automatically spat out the carebears' ships. One might ask, if Nomadic Innovations did not intend to defend the POS, why didn't they evacuate their assets? It was an act of supreme bot-aspirancy: They didn't want to take any action outside their normal routine, even to save their own stuff. This is the same reason a freighter pilot will gladly lose billions of isk rather than interacting with another player to buy a 10 million isk permit.


The story had a happy ending. Nomadic Innovations' outrageous misuse of the wormhole came to an end. New Order Agents liberated 2 billion isk worth of ships and equipment, which was repurposed for its proper use: Playing EVE as it is meant to be played.

32 comments:

  1. They talk about capital escalations but don't lift a finger to save their POS. Where were all those capital assets when the attack went down? It's not like the New Order has any capital ships at their disposal which they could have sent into that specific wormhole at that specific time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The only kind of Dread they seem to have had was that of facing the New Order in defending their POS.

    We must clear Highsec of the Bot-Aspirants, even if it means pursuing them across the known galaxy.

    Good work, Barge Cleaning Services. Clean job, well executed.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Weak. They deserved to loose their POS.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If CODE hadn't found them, they probably would have gotten evicted. Bob would have demanded it.

      Delete
  4. The code always wins!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wonderful work by Nerfbat and Barge Cleaning Services! Also, a very fun read :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I realized recently, how much time and effort goes into things that make EVE interesting, and decided I'm more thankful for the kind of people that have the kind of dedication to do that than I ever would be thankful to myself for doing it.
    It's something to read at work, on the toilet, anywhere I have time to kill, instead of TAKING time away from me that I like to do other things with, so Thank You capsuleers of New Eden. I'll never be one of you, but I will always admire you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can thank the CODE, for helping the carebears find their voices instead of sitting catatonic in an ice field.

      In fact any moment now the their voices will begin flooding this comment section.

      Delete
    2. As in one, maybe two dudes posting Anonymously about sexual acts? I can hardly wait. It adds such quality to our comments.

      On the up side, it's responsible for the biggest upswing in donations and new agents ever - as more and more people start to see what the "anti-ganking" community is actually like.

      Delete
    3. I'll be honest, there was a time where I wanted to leave out bait mining ships with a Falcon on grid to jam out ganking ships. Not because I hated the code or anyone who did suicide ganking... it just seemed like it'd be funny to do. You know, a little bit of trolling. However after having seen how a lot of people in the anti-ganking community act and how they like that sort of strategy... it kind of soured it for me. For one thing I'd just get labled as an anti-ganker, which isn't a particular community I want to be associated with. For another, it'd likely just get shrugged off as "Oh no another bot aspirant wants to cry and play tough" rather than actually being something annoying.

      So thank you anti-ganking community. You ruined my trolling plans :(

      Delete
    4. This is a story we get quite often. As members of the "anti-ganking" community get sick of the rage, anger, hate and general childish behavior some of them come to us to try playing for the other side - and without fail, they comment how well organized and generally friendly and knowledgeable of the game we are.

      Plus, it has to be a HUGE kick to actually win once in a while versus just fail 24/7. That helps a lot too :)

      I just hope the anonymous trolls keep it up, while us CODE agents continue to have the balls to post from our mains and prove that we are a much higher caliber of player. Praise the three fifteen! o__0

      Delete
  7. He must be asleep or something, I'm missing my daily dose of over the top weird comments about homosexuality or kids. Come on bug buddy, I know your out there... Dunx

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  8. they could have been busy with hookers. hookers keep you busy :) :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is intriguing. This post comes a day after CCP Fozzie announced changes for WH space that will make ganking more viable overall. Is this a sign that CODE will be conducting more operations in WH space?

    Personally, I would like to see CODE increase its presence in WH space, but I fear that policing it may become unfruitful or boring for Agents of the Code. Time will tell, I suppose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In WH space you have to have some degree of game knowledge and skill (basic example: How to use Probes, no its not called DScan.) Most of the lower chain of CODE doesn't even know what a probe launcher is or seen it once or twice.

      Would love to see that too personally. But I guess it wont happen. The chances that they will run into a group of people that know what they are doing and fail miserably. This aint hi-sec and people know how to shoot back.

      Delete
    2. Anon 5:24,

      The "lower chain" of Code (i.e., newbros or players working on raising training or skill) stay out of WH's? Sounds smart to me. Go into WH's when you're prepared, but until then have fun, learn, and meet folks in highsec Code enforcement, gank fleets, etc.

      That's why Code is winning and will always win. Codice vincit semper.

      Delete
    3. Jer'ith Bodas, Ophidia Black, Selena Dyle and myself had great fun basing out of a C2 wh with hisec/C1 statics. We built our own Catalysts in the POS and ganked out of the hisec and sometimes the C1's hisec when it had one. Every day you are in a new system with no way to be camped in.

      We also hunted and fought whatever we could in wh space. It was a good time.

      Delete
    4. Yep, running a gank base out of w-space was really fun. We even were able to gank in HS islands where no-one was expecting us without special staging.

      We would also enforce the Code among any w-space miners we found. While they may have been mining in space outside the Savior's purview- they were using equipment that had passed through New Order territory. No permit- no mining.

      Delete
  10. Bot aspirants abusing highsec should take heed to this story. We will find you, at a time and place of our choosing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Says the banned bitch.

      Delete
    2. waiting for the day e1 drops a thousand gtc's into the treasury for more tears.

      Delete
    3. The best part: E1 makes a forum post like what, 5 months after ban and the tears are STILL flowing. That's a legacy, man. Anon @ 5:38AM - show us on the wallet doll where E1 touched you :P

      Delete
    4. So E1, who are you to tell me how to play the game? I'll abuse highsec as I please. So far, you haven't done anything about it...because you can't. Probably because you have been banned.

      Delete
  11. down DJ's asshole more like.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dude are you even trying anymore?

      Delete
    2. he never started to begin with

      Delete
    3. His obsession with me is totally creepy too. :)

      Delete
    4. Just as creepy as you code bot monkeys drinking diarrhea from James 315's weird glowing ass and regurgitating it all over highsec. Oh, I have said before that James 315 is a cannibal. Look what he did to Gorila Vengaza's ass when his dead clone was presented to James 315. Hmm... I guess that makes James 315 a necrophiliac. Not only that, James 315 has been fucking his sister. I just found this photo on the internet proving my case. He was doing her in a 3-way with Loyalonon aka Wolf Soprano with you, DJ Entropy, being the camera man.

      So DJ, what do you have to say about this? Please tell us why you are participating in the James 315 perversion of highsec. Inquiring mines would like to know.

      This is another quality trollific post from your friends at Carebears United.

      We are many. We are strong. The code will fall. The code will fail. A code free highsec is worth fighting for. Saving highsec from the savior of highsec, one carebear at a time.

      Delete
  12. Mining happily out in null making 100s of millions an hour...... oops seem to have forgotten my permit. Can an agent of the new order please come reprimand me? Plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz if u dare. o/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds great, keep up the good work. As you should know, because you are a mental giant, New Order of High Sec permits are not required in null. Hopefully your high sec counterparts can learn from your example. Have a good day o7

      Delete
    2. If you read James 315's Manifest II and you may discover that the New Order has no issues with miners in an environment other that Highsec, where the ISK/effort balance is completely out of control.

      However I still think that mining no matter in what -sec is probably the worst game profession in all of gaming and if you enjoy it you may have some brain damage. But that is my personal opinion and not an official New Order statement.

      Delete
  13. there is nothing wrong with the isk/effort in highsec you make 4-5 times as much in nullsec. You want ppl making 1m an hour or less and CCP is never gonna nerf it that much. Keep dreaming.

    ReplyDelete

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