Wednesday, November 5, 2014

The Big One

During this, the "New Order era" of EVE, there have been many attempts by carebears to create anti-Order rebellions. So far, all of the resistance movements have been small and short-lived. But the New Order ganks tens of thousands of carebears, and we inflict many trillions of isk in damages. It has been theorized that all the small rebellions have been mere tremors, signs of the "Big One" to come. According to the theory, a rebel leader will eventually emerge who can unite the disparate carebears together into a singular, unstoppable force.


At last, Jessica Haynes stepped onto the stage. She made it her mission in life to bring together members of the different carebear professions and put a stop to the New Order. Her proposal was forwarded to numerous CEOs. The mailing list was impressive--it was a "Who's Who" of people I've never heard of.


This was it. The Big One. Jessica Haynes had studied the failed rebellions of the past and learned why they all failed. She promised the CEOs "a bright future for us all." New Order Intelligence intercepted the EVEmail. Agent loyalanon asked Jessica some pointed questions; he was concerned her plans might interfere with some provisions of the Code. Jessica responded:


Jessica's resistance movement faced its first test. For many carebears, the slightest interaction with an Agent of the New Order is very intimidating. They crawl back into their holes and go AFK. Jessica had gotten an EVEmail from loyalanon. Would she cancel her project?


She would not. In her inaugural EVEmail, she said she spoke not only for herself, but "for all that reside in [her] Corp." The Forerunner Protectorate held firm. Now it was time to wait and see whether the carebear CEOs would offer Jessica their support.


It didn't take long. Rebel leader Held der Finsternis was enthusiastic about the project. He was willing to provide the resistance with some heavy-duty infrastructure, which was badly needed.


However, Held der Finsternis' offer came with some strings attached. It was time for Jessica Haynes to make her first big decision as the leader of the rebellion.


Jessica suggested a compromise. She was willing to provide Held der Finsternis total access to her private communications, but not to her finances. Nor was she willing to step aside as the CEO of the Forerunner Protectorate.


...which was probably just as well, since Held der Finsternis' credentials as an anti-Order rebel leader were a bit sketchy.


CODEdot declared war against the Forerunner Protectorate. Jessica fled to lowsec, seeking refuge. She was pursued and shot down. The New Order's goal is to save highsec, but we don't believe in allowing our enemies to have a safe haven during wartime. That would be crazy.


After two grievous losses totaling over 56 million isk, the Forerunner Protectorate was tapped out. They were ready to call it quits.


Jessica continued to speak for all who resided in her corp. However, after less than a week into the project, the number of people who resided in her corp was zero. The big rebellion of all the carebears had come and gone. Everyone in highsec who values civilization breathed a sigh of relief.

Why did the rebellion fail? It's simple, really. Jessica Haynes promised the carebears a "bright future". There's only one organization who can make that promise, and it's the New Order of Highsec. We have a monopoly on bright futures.

66 comments:

  1. BeBopareBop RhubarbPieNovember 5, 2014 at 7:15 PM

    "We have a monopoly on bright futures."
    I hope no one brings an anti-trust suit!

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  2. That was awesome !!! Well done. The Code always wins!

    I actually lol'd at this: "The mailing list was impressive--it was a "Who's Who" of people I've never heard of." - pure gold right there.

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  3. Just 3 days? She gives up after only 3 measly days? Have these people no shame? No cojones?

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    Replies
    1. My bad. 5 days. Still a record.

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    2. She was incompetent, of course her rebellion fizzled. Notice how am I going strong on 3 months without any real losses.

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    3. And no real wins either. A career as an F1 monkey awaits with open arms.

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    4. Being able to carry on my PvE activities as usual while forcefully attacking CODE here and on the Eve forums is a major victory. When has CODE ever looked so helpless and pathetic before?

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    5. "Please pay attention!"
      "Ignoring me means I win!"
      "Mmm my farts smell good"

      ....are you even listening to yourself dude?

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    6. Of course I do haiku-boy. I spit on your Code, your griefing, your harassment, your tear collection, your humiliation of new players, and your attempts to drive casual players from the game. You and your ilk are everything that is wrong with this game and need to be purged, just like DJ, Jerry Rin, and D400 were. Good riddance.

      Just like the Democrat party was shown the door last night, soon CODE will be seeing the door as well. Enjoy Star Citizen.

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    7. "Let the hate flow through you..."
      Oh, who am I kidding here?
      Hate is all you *have*!

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    8. Oops, miscounted there. Was too excited to use the starwars reference I guess.

      I would say to you
      "Good....let the hate flow through you..."
      but hate's all you have!

      There, that's better

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    9. Dude, Veers, what are you smoking and where can I get some? /s

      In all seriousness, being able to send posts to EVE-O forums is not as big a win as you tout it to be. Anyone can do it if they have an account, and anyone can post a response there. In the end it does nothing, not even from a morale/psychological standpoint, it's just shooting the breeze and nothing more.

      And if ignoring you is supposed to be a win, then why do you keep drawing attention to yourself? Sounds counterintuitive to me. And also makes me question whether you truly believe what you're typing.

      Sincerely, the Friendly Neighborhood Scoundrel

      PS: Feels good to use that little moniker again!

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    10. "Please pay attention!"
      "Ignoring me means I win!"
      "Mmm my farts smell good"

      I trust you are quoting James with those. At least they are just what comes out of his mouth all the time.

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    11. Being able to engage the CODE fools and their supporters on the Eve Forums with my main, expose them as charlatans, and advocate positive changes to the game (buh bye awoxxing), all without any actual retaliation despite the legion of threats, exposes CODE for the fraud that it is. Your Code is a joke, and you lack the power to actually enforce it, or to affect real change in highsec. All you can do is make some new/casual players angry, and cause them to quit the game.

      My victory isn't in CODE ignoring me - it's in calling them out, trolling, having fun, refusing to buy a permit, and rubbing it all in DJ's sorry face without any consequences. You guys are a complete joke and should disband now to save us all the eyerolls and laughter.

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    12. Guys, why get mad about Veers?

      He is part of emergent gameplay, even as a nemesis. As a stronghearted, non-EVE playing code supporter, the correct response is to gently oppose him in game.

      Veers represents, what I feel, is the cancer of Eve. But is that a bad thing, given how he does so? Do you fight cancer with tears? No! For that is the insidious nature of cancer. I, for one, am extremely sad that the Order has not yet taken it's fight to Veers. Out of the comments with ye all.

      Good luck!

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    13. "DJ's[...]face"

      There you go again. We get it, you felt very, very angry that DJ (along with everyone else on teamspeak) was laughing at you that one time. Christ, can carebears hold a grudge. Get over it already, it's in the past! You'd be happier if you could bring yourself to move on.

      Beyond that, I'm tired of repeating the same things back and forth. Yeah yeah, we have no power to enforce the code, despite all the code enforcement we do and the trillions in damages we inflict. Sure sure, we've had no impact on highsec, despite the broad cultural shift away from hulks and toward skiffs which we've engendered. Another day, another moved goalpost.

      How much time would you say you spend reading and responding to comments on minerbumping and the forums per day, Veers? An hour? Two? Let's be conservative and say an hour. You spend an hour of your life each day (when you aren't posting from a brothel in thailand or wherever) thinking about us and talking with us. But tell me again how we've had no impact on you.

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    14. Oh nonsense, DJ didn't do any laughing. He tried to troll me, and I deployed the best anti-troll response - extended silence. I won't lie though, I was happy when he was met with a swift kick out the door.

      Killing some miners and haulers ain't the same as bringing the code to highsec. Us mission and incursion runners continue to laugh at you said griefers. And minerbumping takes me about 30 mins a day, and brings me entertainment. Always fun to watch a train wreck in action - it's like a free ticket to the circus.

      So please keep up your dumb blog posts, your empty threats against highsec, and the entertainment of watching the banhammer beat you down to size. You do so amuse me, scrub.

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    15. "Christ, can carebears hold a grudge"

      Hah, this whole CODE thing is about holding a grudge. I guess James hurt his butt when a miner took him from behind.

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    16. Veers Belvar,

      You shouldn't advocate the disbanding of code. The game needs comic relief. If code does disband, I'm going to have to find a new community to troll.

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    17. Veers...you need Code...without Code you would go back to being an insignificant nobody...oh wait, you already are..

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    18. That's kinda desperate attempt of making someone feel bad, don't you think, Mr. Insignificant nobody?

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    19. "Killing some miners and haulers ain't the same as bringing the code to highsec. Us mission and incursion runners[...]"

      Goalposts: moved. But don't worry, your time will come. Your fear of that is why you first started trying to reinterpret the Code to keep us pointed squarely at the miners, remember?

      "And minerbumping takes me about 30 mins a day,"

      Oh, ok then. Since you *only* spend 30 minutes every day thinking about us, that's ok then. Spending 40 minutes per day obsessing over us and talking about how totally-not-butthurt you are at DJ, now that'd be kinda creepy. But 30 minutes? Psh, barely worth mentioning.

      Hate's a kind of love
      DJ's just not into you
      It's not you, it's him

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    20. Just think about how much time you and other CODE members spend thinking of miners, haulers and afk pilots.

      You need bot-aspirants, without those the whole CODE movement would be full of Insignificant nobodies. Wait.. that'd mean they're not such now. Never mind then.

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    21. Nah, all we need is James and the Code, and we already have both of those. It is a sad fact that eve is filled with bot-aspirants, and that ccp seems hell-bent on increasing their number through strategic carebearification of highsec. We have a lot we need to do to save highsec, and there'll likely be work for us for a long time yet. But though you might make a case that we need highsec to exist in order to have our playstyle, we don't need any individual bot-aspirant or carebear. And if the whole playstyle went away, we'd just turn to other forms of pvp (even if they weren't as leet as ganking). We're ready for the long slog toward victory, and when we achieve it, we'll be well-suited to live in the new world we'll have created.

      Incidentally: it says more about you than you might like, that the insult you choose to aim at us is that we're "insignificant nobodies". You try to attack our ego...twice. But we're not motivated by ego, we're motivated by a selfless love for highsec, and for eve. You're not going to be very successful at demotivating us by attacking something we don't care about. Really the only attacks that could conceivably be effective are the "you're doing nothing to change highsec" ones, but we look around and see the change in highsec every day, so that won't work either.

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    22. Nice wall of text, tl:dr though. I did say "never mind then". That means I withdraw the comment ^_^

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    23. tl;dr:

      We don't need carebears
      We have James, and the Code,
      and our love for EvE

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    24. gah, I'm counting so poorly these days.

      We don't need carebears
      We have James, we have The Code,
      and our love for EvE

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    25. What they didn't tell you is that she dropped corp, then re upped corp more than 4 time making code waste over 100 million ISK in war decs.

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  4. "After two grievous losses totaling over 56 million isk, the Forerunner Protectorate was tapped out. They were ready to call it quits."

    LOL

    There goes the Big One!

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  5. They cannot resist
    the glorious change that we bring
    The future is OURS

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    Replies
    1. "Mmm my farts smell good"

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    2. "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"

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    3. Quoting on the other hand is not necessarily so.

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  6. The big one tactic was a distraction and you code boys fell for it. It was to lead you away from your posts while the freighters carrying anti gank ships and other equipment to miners. All we needed was for Code to step away from the stations and our freighter pilots were free to continue as if this imprisonment never happened. We got most of them out until you caught up. You know what they say don't count your chickens before they hatch. A small victory for the resistance and Jessica was the key. Fly safe

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    Replies
    1. lol sure thing. all of this definitely happened. gg CODE amirite?

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    2. LOL...you're so full of crap anonymous. You have no clue what transpired, how it was brought to Code attention, who was involved..or who set it off for that matter. The beauty is, you never will. The bottom line is they couldn't handle the backlash of their attempted "rebellion". Once the heat was turned up, they abandoned the cause like it was the plague. Don't try to make up some bs about it being a diversion because it's laughable. This failure on their part had absolutely no effect on the operations of Code. In fact, you had no idea it even happened until you saw it here. You keep on believing your delusional rationalizations. I can assure you, every time something like this comes about, it will fail. Maybe next time you will get involved..and post with your name so I can relish the km and post it for lulz for all to see :)

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    3. "you're so full of crap anonymous"

      That's why his post fits this blog so perfectly. I'm quite sure James has more of it than Anonymous here though.

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  7. This is inspiring.

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  8. The Code ALWAYS Wins!!!! Always!!!!

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    Replies
    1. "Ignoring me means I win!"

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    2. Aram Zucker-Scharff

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  9. What's an anti gank ship? Just asking. :-)

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  10. We wish to thank Jessica Haynes for this momentary diversion and acknowledge her self- sacrifice as she unknowingly strengthened the CODE and brought further honor upon our illustrious leader, James315. While her words challenged the CODE, her courage failed her as she ran at the first hint of adversity.

    We thank the spirit of the CODE, acknowledging that non-believers are often used by this spirit. Unlike the followers of the CODE (who are pure of heart and righteous with their intent), Jessica was seduced through her own lusts of power and delusions of self righteousness.

    We thank our illustrious and humble savior of high sec for his continued leadership, inspiration, and endless administrative efforts to provide examples such as this to guide us along the path of righteousness.

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    Replies
    1. That was surprisingly amusing. You could've been a comedian instead of a ganker.

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    2. You weren't there. If I were you I'd shut my trap before spreading lies to please your fans.

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  11. I am starting to think Veers doesn't really run incursions.

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    Replies
    1. Good catch, it's all a scam.... he runs a pizza delivery service out of Jita 4-4

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    2. Pretty sure the only thing he runs is his mouth.

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  12. I am glad to see loyalanon putting the Navy Omen to good use. I love that ship.

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  13. This is awesome. It's good to see something came of this :) Another AG failure squashed before it ever surfaced.

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  14. I don't want any of you to forget that I am a lawyer so I will make the best rebel leader. It's no accident that the US legislators are mostly all lawyers. We are good at this stuff. Unlike Code monkeys, we are smart and get things done. Especially those with IVY LEAGUE credentials like mine.

    Anyone want to guess what I am billing someone per hour right this very minute as I type this in my LAW Office?

    Everyone in CODE. should cancel their subscriptions and go to law school like me to better their miserable existances.

    HINT: always round up to the biggest unit of time as possible with huge minimums. Letters don't just stamp themselves you know, and it costs a lot of money to pay me to put stamps on envelopes all day.

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  15. Loyalanon is like a 14 year old loudmouth brat, the rest of you are shaming yourselves by allowing him to be your leader. CODE. would have a thousand members if you sacked retards like him.

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    Replies
    1. Who do you think should be in charge instead?

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    2. I should be in charge. I am vastly more qualified in game and in real life. I'm a lawyer. I'm also the sensible alternative. Under my leadership, CODE. members would be free to mine and be like a normal corp. We would do away with all of this silly rhetoric and amend the code to be more sane. We would end harrassment of miners and newbies. Scamming would be banned and membership culled of all the bad people, even if I have to start completely over. James 315/Erotica1/The Mittani would need to go.

      Give me control of the alliance and websites and I will fix the new order and make it reasonable and rational and a good corp where we respect miners, freighter pilots, mission runners, incursion runners, manufacturers, and all the good people of eve. Also, end all wars. there is no need for wars.

      I am Veers Belvar, I am a lawyer, vote for me, vote for the future.

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    3. I think I just had a bit of "throw up" in my throat after reading that...

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    4. it was an imposter Veers, idiot.

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    5. Unless Veers@9:03 is the impostor!

      That's the thing I don't get. Veers always acts so angry when people supposedly impersonate him (or when he realizes he's been slightly dumber than usual, whichever), but it's not like fake-Veers says anything different from what real-Veers says. Slightly less subtle, maybe, but substantially it's all the same.

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    6. Not angry at all...just find it sad how many pathetic people try to make poor impersonations of me. Speaks volumes about what CODE is really about - griefing, tears, and humiliation.

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    7. Or you just make a good target for trolls.

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    8. Kill more freighters than he does and YOU can be the damn leader.

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  16. Scratch what Veers said. I'm Beers, Veer's other, more sensible brother. Every person in CODE. will get a free six pack of beers for every mining vessel freed and a holographic bobble-head of Veers, compliments of the shop.

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    Replies
    1. You have different surname than mr. Belvar. Are you sure you're his brother? And giving beer to CODE members is so wrong, you are aware that they're around 8-10 year old kids? Mentally at least.

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  17. Working closely with CCP, I played a pivotal role in getting gankers banned.

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