Sunday, April 12, 2015

Kills of the Week

Highsec is a pretty amazing place. The trade routes are bustling and full of energy at all times. It has a wonderfully diverse community. It's incredibly welcoming. And yet, at the same time, we know that not everyone in EVE is cut out for highsec. Some people aren't ready for proper highsec play. We recommend that those individuals relocate to lowsec. In the meantime, we must kill them. Let's look at some of the players who weren't quite up to highsec standards during the week of April 5th @ 00:00 EVEtime through April 11th @ 23:59 EVEtime.



Remember when everyone was up in arms over CCP's plans to sell expensive pants and monocles? These days, PLEX seem to be used as a status symbol. Instead of cashing them in at the station, carebears carry them around everywhere. Dusya Mykamolova was busily mining in a Retriever and flashing his PLEX. Agents Nicolas Dupre and Toxic Yaken came to the rescue.



Another shocking example of decadence came from Violet en Marland, whose 3.2 billion isk travel-fit Ares was ganked by Agent PV Rock. What's a travel fit without a permit?


The Ares contained four PLEX! Along with Violet's 500 million isk pod, which PV also ganked, the bot-aspirant lost 3.7 billion isk in an instant. Not realizing that the PLEX were destroyed rather than dropped, Violet convo'ed PV and demanded their safe return:
PV Rock > o/
Violet en Marland > give me my plex or i will complaint you
Violet en Marland > WHY YOU ATTACKED ME AT 0.6??
PV Rock > You can back attacked anywhere in EVE
Violet en Marland > look. I roll back my character two days ago for my complaint
Violet en Marland > i can roll back again
The angry carebear insisted that she be paid, otherwise she'd file a petition against PV Rock.
PV Rock > What do you mean by roll back?
Violet en Marland > give or wait and see :)
Violet en Marland > u can lose ur all money, game - time
PV Rock > CCP aren't going to reimburse you or punish me
PV Rock > Space violence is fine in EVE
Violet en Marland > lol
PV was right about one thing: There was no cause for reimbursement by CCP. But then Violet began copying the GM's response to her petition into the chat window. It made for interesting reading. According to the alleged correspondence, the GM acknowledged that there was no reason for reimbursement under the rules, but that a one-time exception was being made anyway.
Violet en Marland > see :)
Violet en Marland > i will take it
Violet en Marland > u will lose ur money
PV Rock > Quoting GMs is petitionable, killing people isn't
Violet en Marland > wait and see
Violet en Marland > good bye
Does CCP have a secret reimbursement policy for first-time gank victims, at least when they lose PLEX? The only way to find out is to keep ganking everyone who carries PLEX.



Once upon a time, Mukade Matsumoto had an Orca. He also had 4.5 billion isk of other in-game possessions, which were all stored in his Orca. To keep them safe, Mukade equipped his ship with some shield tanking mods. He left his lowslots empty. Maybe this was because he knew cargo expanders would decrease his ship's hitpoints. On the other hand, bot-aspirancy was probably to blame. With just a trio of Catalysts, Agents Kahvegi, Jason Kusion, and Braggs Seyllin hyper-dunked the Orca and put an end to Mukade Matsumoto.



I've often said that there are two conflicting visions for EVE. They cannot coexist. Bloodcleaner and his mining Gnosis are representative of one of these visions, the one held by carebears. In case you were wondering, their vision is the wrong one. Agents loyalanon and Sophia Soprano removed Bloodcleaner's abomination from highsec. And people ask how we're improving the game?



Fedor Ongrad's Covetor is nothing special, at least not until you see how Agent Piz Caldera killed it...


The Covetor was filling up a jetcan, which Piz's Venture repeatedly emptied. After Piz confiscated seven loads of ore, the miner became angry and sent drones against him. Naturally, our Agent prevailed in battle. This is the other vision of EVE: Our enemies make combat ships mine for them. We make mining ships perform combat.



AndroGon Navy lost a staggering 3.1 billion isk of implants to Agent Mildron Klinker. Much of the value came from high-level gunnery implants. At a certain point, AndroGon lost his way and took up mining. He didn't need the gunnery implants, so they were removed. Incidentally, he was using a 37 million isk Retriever at the time. No permit.



Omacki was puttering around in an anti-tanked freighter filled with 14 billion isk of cargo and more Plastic Wrap than a DuPont factory. This drew the attention of Agents Rehtom Lamina, Benchab Mas, Ikolo, Alex Gianturco, Dungar's Sister, Gad'ui, Aldarr Mentakk, Alexander Mittani, Jay Amazingness, and BAE B BLUE, who readied their weapons as Omacki was being bumped senseless.

Fearing the loss of his cargo, Omacki woke up and paid a fee of 1 billion isk. Unfortunately, it was too little and too late; the sacrifice of Omacki's ship was required. Most carebears would start raging in local, if they hadn't been raging already. But Omacki took the loss well. His good behavior was rewarded in ways he never could have imagined...


Agent Clara Pond credited the 1 billion isk ransom toward the purchase of a lifetime mining permit. A billion isk is 100 years' worth of mining permits, so it all works out--barring any unforeseen extension of the human lifespan. As long as Omacki obeys the Code, he'll have a permit for the rest of his life. Now he's ready for highsec!

29 comments:

  1. I love KotW posts.. most of all I love it how the Code always Wins!!!! Always!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know that CODE mostly operates in highsec with a side of lowsec, though I'll be honest, I'm shocked that nothing has been even mentioned about the two SMA mining fleets. I know they're nullsec and all that, though they showcase one very important aspect of mining that highsec carebears seem to ignore - that you can actually fit your mining ships so that, properly escorted, they're very difficult to kill. So much so that even without CONCORD intervention - this is nullsec - between both fleets SMA lost one destroyer (a Thrasher) from the escorts, no barges and left none of the hotdroppers alive. Given that CONCORD will have better response time and more powerful weapons than any nullsec response fleet could possibly ever have it does serve as a pretty good example of why the whole "We need CCP to protect us more against suicide gankers" argument is dumb. If nullsec groups can mine just fine and even just completely annihilate attackers without any sort of NPC involvement, then I question why the highsec miner can't do the same.

    Though of course I suppose this will go over the heads of many highsec miners, who would rather fit their hulks for max yield and inefficiently solo mine while plugging their ears.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Care bears working together? Care bears actually doing work other than to help themselves? I don't think so! Thank goodness we have James to help these bears towards the true path. (praise his name in the heavens)

      Delete
    2. Anyone mining in nullsec is a bot and CODE. is too scared to go out there to a real fight, besides everyone knows goons are always 100% of the time going to scam you.

      Delete
    3. meh, this fake Veers is only a 2/10. Gotta do better, griefers.

      Delete
    4. All fake, just like code.

      Delete
    5. @Anon8:50
      I saw that the other day.

      Just because a mining barge is primarily used to conduct mostly illegal and boring mining activity does not mean that mining barges do not have their strengths. Used properly tanked, and with DDAs, the Skiff is a truly fierce beast, especially in packs, capable of some true hilarity when you have a gang of twenty of them. Up until I believe Kronos, I think, Procurers could be reconfigured to be the fastest locking ships in the game.

      Back when the waffles did a going away party from a fellow waffle who sold all he owned to get a fully-fit Aeon and sacrifice it in Kinakka to the gods of killmail whoring, myself and a fellow waffle were both in sensor boosted Procurers on the Onnamon gate, using the Proc's 3000mm scanres to put long points on every single interceptor that made it through the gate a second before they were obliterated by the artillery fire of a dozen PL lokis. Skiffs are also great at dealing with unruly miners without drawing attention.

      Delete
    6. Skiffs, Aeons, interceptors, nothing really beats my pimp fit mach for shooting red crosses in the most boring setting of afk incursions and station spinning. I'm pretty much the elite PvE rockstar however i am board and socially isolated due to CODE.'s relentless attack on incursions and foul mouthed highsec miners, which with my expert lawyering skills and an entire tea party backing me I'm able to skillfully troll and shiptoast my way thru any discussion.

      Delete
    7. Still only 2/10

      Delete
    8. Getting real tired of your shit fake veers.

      Delete
  3. meh seems made up

    ReplyDelete
  4. The poor Gnosis being violated in such a horrible manner. I am thankful to see that it got put out of its misery.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Getting desperate for kills these days James315?

    Goonswarm gank a freighter and a codey manages to tag it before it's killed and James315 claims it as a major code victory...

    It's more evidence as to how code is struggling these days. You poor things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I rather thought it was presented as simply the latest in a very long line of victories. I remain very fond of Mr Omacki though. He has funded many Vexors and Catalysts, and done so with good humour.

      Delete
  6. Great work, keep up the good fight Code.

    ReplyDelete
  7. What ? Only 6 kills in one week ? 300k players and only 6 kills. MAJOR IMPACT ON THE GAME.
    R.O.F.L

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 11:32 : try to learn to count before shit-posting. smh.
      Besides.. if we posted all of Code's kills every month, it would break the internet. That would in turn count as another kill. But where would we post it?

      Delete
    2. R.O.F.L so pathetic !!!

      Delete
    3. R.O.F.L R.O.F.L R.O.F.L R.O.F.L R.O.F.L I'M NOT MAD R.O.F.L R.O.F.L R.O.F.L I'M NOT A MINER BRO R.O.F.L R.O.F.L R.O.F.L IF YOU HAVEN'T MET [ARBITRARY GOAL] THEN YOU LOST R.O.F.L R.O.F.L R.O.F.L MINER BINGO, WHAT'S THAT?

      Delete
    4. R.O.F.L Code loses again : https://zkillboard.com/kill/45961952/

      Delete
  8. whats up ming? no talk of "it" or" subhumans" today? whats wrong with you ?
    not your usual hate posting style is it ? i am disappointed :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ming hasn't commented by noon on a Monday and his fanclub are clamoring to know what's happened to him, and when Ming-senpai will be back.

      I'll admit it, Ming. I'm jealous of the dedication of your fans. Just how do you inspire such love and devotion?

      Delete
    2. @Anon3:23
      Despite the "demon" you make me out to be, I am simply a humble servant of James 315 and the EVE community, attempting to introduce the miner to the best experience that EVE has to offer- and using mining barges as combat vessels fits squarely into that category.

      Delete
    3. ming
      i don't write your words for you,you do .
      there is nothing humble about you, the attempts you make have nothing to do with improving the player experience of anyone,
      i know a "demon" when i see one and every time you post there it is !!

      Delete
    4. @ Maria Malukker
      nice brown nosing there .
      well done

      Delete
  9. Hey, more carebear whine and tears, my favorite breakfast. Makes the entire day more enjoyable.
    This is the best place to find 'em, and James' one-liners are just icing on the cake. Thanks for all the crying there fuzzybearz!
    mmmmmmmmm, teeears!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hey, more carebear whine and tears,
      said the carebear

      Delete
  10. Hey, more carebear whine and tears, my favorite breakfast. Makes the entire day more enjoyable.
    This is the best place to find 'em, and James' one-liners are just icing on the cake. Thanks for all the crying there fuzzybearz!
    mmmmmmmmm, teeears!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Some very tough loses to stomach. Hopefully they will invest in permits. Good work.

    ReplyDelete

Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.