Thursday, April 23, 2015

Ore Buyback, Code Payback, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... The Sky Gods Fortune held hostage! CEO Scoot Sollete poured his money into the components for a "war-POS" and contracted them to trusted adviser and freighter pilot TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet. Then, in an unexpected twist, TheInternet reported that his freighter was being bumped by Siegfried Cohenberg, an Agent of the New Order with a lethal reputation.

Scoot, TheInternet, and Siegfried shared a TeamSpeak channel to negotiate the terms of the freighter's release. At the same time, Scoot and TheInternet had a private discussion in their corp channel.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i need 400m
Scoot Sollete > i don't have it. honestly.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > we're going to be out a lot of ISK if we can't come up with 400m more guys
The corp's fate rested entirely in Siegfried's hands. TheInternet recommended that Scoot pay the ransom. There was no other choice. Scoot couldn't do it. He didn't have enough isk to meet the demand.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > this is like 2b on the line right now
Scoot Sollete > if we get the thing killed, fuck it.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > its just 400m, I dont want to lose my freighter
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > can i borrow 400m from you
Scoot Sollete > I DON'T HAVE IT
Carebears hate to part with their isk. As pirates know, a carebear will almost always claim they can't pay the ransom. It's a matter of instinct. But TheInternet was not a pirate holding Scoot's ship for ransom; he was a full director of Scoot's corp. He reminded Scoot of the stakes.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I'll pay you back, and we'll save the POS
Scoot Sollete > it's in your freighter
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > can you borrow some
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > its just 400m tell your friends your POS will go down withjout it
For a third time, Scoot told TheInternet he didn't have the money. Everything he had, he'd put into the war-POS components that were currently sitting in TheInternet's freighter. There was no way to pay the ransom.
Scoot Sollete > i want to tell him that his mother hired him because his father is a black man
Scoot Sollete > who doesn't want a son
Scoot Sollete > not to sound racist
As Scoot considered his options, he felt a growing hatred toward Agent Siegfried.
Scoot Sollete > I'll sell a plex
Scoot Sollete > there
Scoot Sollete > check your wallet
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > thanks
Scoot Sollete > mkay
Scoot Sollete > here's all my fucking isk
At long last, Scoot found the money. It turned out he'd been secretly holding back a PLEX. With no other choice, he sold the PLEX and transferred the cash to TheInternet so the ransom could be paid. It was the honest thing to do, but it was certainly late in coming. Scoot did not show total faith.
Scoot Sollete > hurts me more
Scoot Sollete > goons has no fucking honor
Scoot Sollete > so.
Scoot Sollete > bet he won't live in null sec
Scoot Sollete > or head there
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > harder to mass recruit
Scoot Sollete > yeah. i know
Scoot Sollete > but kinda hard to deal with a fuckign shit ton of things
Deprived of his isk security blanket, the carebear's raw emotions shone through. He railed against the Goons. Scoot believed the Goon who held TheInternet's freighter hostage was too cowardly to live in nullsec. He made no judgments about his own choice to run a highsec-only industrial corp.
Scoot Sollete > some people have no fucking heart
Scoot Sollete > not like im going to but seems like ganking = shit tons of isk easy
Scoot Sollete > but it makes eve very horrible to play
Scoot Sollete > i honestly think war deccing should be removed now
Scoot Sollete > and if you gank someone, you should get banned
Scoot Sollete > null sec just seems more safe now
Scoot Sollete > never joining goons.
All of Scoot's true feelings came spilling out. Though he accused others of cowardice, he craved total safety for highsec. He wanted to completely eliminate ganking and wardecs from the game. Scoot's mind was a mess of contradictions: Siegfried was too cowardly to go to nullsec, but nullsec is safer than highsec. Ganking is too easy, but highsec PvE needs to be much easier. Carebear logic!
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > he let it go
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > he warped offf
Scoot Sollete > can i have remaining isk back
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > do you have any more PELX you can sell? I'll do hauler missions to get ISK back but we need blue status to grow the corp
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > or we're going to be targeted in the futuere
Phew! TheInternet was pleased to report that he'd been let go. An immense sigh of relief washed over the corp. However, TheInternet still needed to get his freighter safely back to the corp's HQ. He recommended additional money be paid to the New Order for blue standings.
Scoot Sollete > i don't have any more money
Scoot Sollete > like no shit no more money
Scoot Sollete > just get to saisio
Scoot Sollete > and dock to complete the contract
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > he has that system camped
Scoot didn't have any more money to pay to the New Order--for real this time. Unfortunately, this left TheInternet's freighter in limbo. In a stroke of tactical brilliance, the New Order was now camping the corp's HQ.
Scoot Sollete > can't you dock and reject the contract?
Scoot Sollete > are you in space?
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > can u round up 1b
Scoot Sollete > NO I CANNOT
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > its a good idea if we're ggoing to have some lattitude
Scoot Sollete > IT'S IMPOSSIBLE
Once again, TheInternet recommended Scoot make an extra effort to find some isk. Leave no stone unturned, he urged. The very idea made Scoot sick.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > you don't have any more PLEX?
Scoot Sollete > i just gave you the last one
Scoot Sollete > drop the contract dude
Scoot Sollete > tell me here dude
Scoot Sollete > I can't hear shit
Scoot Sollete > why? are you two spies?
Scoot Sollete > why are you telling him this anyways?
As it became clear that Scoot wasn't going to pay anymore money, the tone of the conversation on TeamSpeak changed dramatically. TheInternet and Siegfried began chatting like two old friends. Scoot couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Believe it or not, TheInternet was, in fact, an Agent of the New Order the whole time. The truth is, he wasn't really interested in setting up an ore buyback program. His only desire was to enforce the Code.

The freighter, if TheInternet even owned one, was never held hostage. The entire series of events was staged as means of testing Scoot's leadership. He failed. In his capacity as an Agent of the New Order, it was up to TheInternet to decide whether Scoot deserved to be the CEO of a highsec industrial corp. In TheInternet's judgment, Scoot wasn't ready yet.

Thanks to his earlier corporate maneuverings, TheInternet gained the ability to have Scoot removed as CEO of the corp. In Scoot's place, he installed Kaalatas Nebunaesa, the security consultant he'd brought on board. Kaalatas turned out to be an Agent of the New Order, too. He promised to usher in an era of Code-compliance.

Scoot disagreed with the corp's new direction and resigned on the spot. The corporation he'd founded would no longer pose a threat to highsec. It was a tremendous victory for the New Order and its Code. The doubters said it couldn't be done. Let this be a lesson to all the carebears--never underestimate an Agent of the New Order.


  1. meh seems made up

  2. I KNEW TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet was an Agent of the New Order! I just couldn't put my finger on it!

    Well played by the New Order! A major victory over the greedy carebears!

    1. Greedy code member calls a miner a greedy carebear...

    2. I KNEW it!!! I KNEW I got scammed out of 11B isk!!! I KNEW it!!!

      Code ALWAYS scams!!! ALWAYS

    3. Butthurt -=M=- fail best fail

  3. Another glorious victory for the New Order!

    The biological and technological distinctiveness of the catebears will be added to our own.

    -Galaxy Pig

    1. So.. nothing will be added?

    2. @ malcolm.
      no nothing because your feeble code does not have the ability to "assimilate" anything. especially the fact that your never gonna get 100% of anything lol.

  4. Goons are scrubs just like their pet Code. L2P fools

  5. I can't believe how stupid some people are. Nice job to TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet for removing this idiot. Maybe it's time for CCP to set an age restriction... or at least an IQ test.

    1. I agree. I think there should be condition where the game automatically checks to see if you've mined in the last six months, and if you have, you aren't allowed to cast a ballot in the CSM election.

    2. ah but if there was an IQ requirement then most of code would have to stop playing.

    3. That is a really stupid idea, it figures a code monkey would come up with it, they are all arrogant fools...

    4. Here we go with fake Ming spouting off at the mouth. Take the cocks out of your mouth next time so we can understand you. Now begone "Subhuman"

    5. M come on now this is just getting sad and desperate from you

    6. You fool... I haven't finished spreading my tears on this article yet. Please wait till I'm finished next time.


    7. Bwahahahahahahaha!

      You guys are so easy to get worked up.

    8. Begone "subhuman" to the gas chamber with you!

    9. Mmmmmm... More -=M=- tears. There are always aplenty here!
      The CODE always makes carebears cry! Always

    10. I would love to know what Ming did to -=M=- in order to receive this amount of hate. Story time, maybe? I would love to see the kill mail :D

    11. Knowing carebears, it'd probably be a completely standard afk-retriever fit. You know how carebears frequently vow undying vengeance over the most minor of losses? M seems like one who would believe he was following through by shiptoasting on minerbumping.

  6. Yet another victory for the New Order. Bring on the anon carebears who will ignore facts and spout nonsense.

    1. Well, I for one have not ignored the fact that code agents will tell any lie just to further their arrogant agenda...

    2. ooh but you fell right into the spouting nonsense trap. The agents of the new order are courteous and honest unlike some of the rebels that they strive to better.

    3. We have earned the right to be arrogant. You however have only just earned the right to be mocked. Unworthycarebear, go back to your cave.

    4. A typical carebear - he sees Hitler everywhere! Calm down, this paranoia will only end in your tears.

    5. Well it begins with his carebear tears, guess it should end that way too.

    6. @Anon 9.10 pm
      arrogance is actually a fault not an must have missed that memo i guess , not too smart it seems.

    7. Wrong Anon 12:41PM it is not a fault, it is offensive. But so what? If CODE offends you, you deserve to be offended.
      You must have missed the dictionary I guess, so you're not so smart it seems.

    8. @anon 6.07 pm
      i will get back to you when i have decoded your last post ok ?
      i could be gone some time ( your just too smart for me it seems )
      keep an eye out for the memo (i would hate for you to miss this one too).

  7. Meh 1-4th written pretty interestingly. The conclusion seemed kinda put together lamely. I am disappoint.

    1. In that way, they're alot like EA.

      Hyping something up again and again, with the end result being shit.

    2. Now now, there's no need to be rude to the anti gankers. They're only getting started (3 years too late)

  8. Still AFK mining to work off that 11B isk I got scammed out of and none of you nazi want-a-bee's have stopped me yet. Shows how much power and influence they really have.

    1. what is a "want-a-bee's", miner?

    2. Have you read any of M's posts yet? He isn't exactly top notch when it comes to the grammar department. It does make his tears all that more glorious though. Makes it seem like he's pounding on the keyboard like a 2 year-old kid.

      M, We patiently await your next volley of tears ;)

      ~ Asia Leigh

    3. "that 11B isk I got scammed out of"

      Sounds like you have had enough attention for now, don't worry, i'm sure you'll find someone else to give all your money too soon.

  9. I want to be just like my grand pop and send all the nasty "subhumans" to the gas chamber. That is my goal as an agent of the New Order of Hitler.

  10. "Scoot Sollete > i honestly think war deccing should be removed now
    Scoot Sollete > and if you gank someone, you should get banned"

    When under duress, a carebear will show his true colors.

    1. A job well done by our corporate inspection specialists!

    2. The tears are flowing fast and deep with these 2 statements. Pilots are in danger of drowning.

  11. Scamming a highsecer out of a plex is illegal. Have you ever heard of mail and wire fraud? We'll since i'm a lawyer I have and it applies here. I thought Goon scammers were the bottom of the barrel but here goes CODE. one upping them again.

    If Scoot is reading this ping me in EvE and i'll get the case started pro bono... It's time to get someone banned again.

    1. 3/10. Mail and wire fraud laws don't apply to online games.

    2. Shut it fake veees, mail fraud does apply to online gaming, it's what keeps certain casino scams/games off the internet.

      9/10 for an entertaining read unlike the shitposting from fake mings

    3. Veers, your tears are glorious. The only tears that are better than yours is -=M=- 's tears.

      Please do try and sue. A billion isk says you get laughed out of the court room.

  12. Ok so code maybe dicks but really that CEO was asking for everything he got must have confused Eve with Happy fun time fairy tail land.

  13. Hmm. I somehow missed the part where TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet was given the majority of shares. This is even more dumb than making a known awoxer a director after 80 minutes.

    However, I found it most funny how Scoot Sollete joind/founded a corp called Mostly Harmless Industries after leavin Gods. A good way to paint a target on your ships.

  14. He doesn't have to be given them. As he had full director roles he could give them to himself.

  15. A fool and his corporation are soon parted

    Drammie Askold

  16. meh definitely made up


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.