Friday, April 24, 2015

The Most Shocking Confession

The New Order does not commit acts of senseless violence. All of our violence is perfectly sensible. Because carebears understand that the kills are motivated by the Code, each kill we earn has its own ripple effect. Highsec may be pictured as a space covered in tens of thousands of our overlapping ripples. No wonder everyone in highsec is talking about us.


The death of Jaraxxus' faction battleship at the hands of Agent Nicolas Dupre was highlighted in the most recent Kills of the Week post. Jaraxxus was less than one month into the game before he lost this 1.5 billion isk battleship.


Jaraxxus was a member of a faction warfare corp. That's why Nicolas, a member of an opposing faction, was permitted to kill Jaraxxus without CONCORD interference. Most carebears would take a loss like that pretty hard. On the other hand, Jaraxxus was a member of a corp dedicated to "honour" and "pride". Surely the carebear would display both of those qualities.


...Or would he?
Jaraxxus > why...
Jaraxxus > I didn't though you can engage me
Jaraxxus > in amaar space
Jaraxxus > like nothing
Jaraxxus > without getting atacked by milita
Jaraxxus > in high sec
Nicolas Dupre > I AM being attacked by the navy
Jaraxxus was a little upset and confused about his death. He found the faction warfare mechanics to be unintuitive. (Somebody call the CSM!) As Agent Nicolas continued to keep Jaraxxus' pod warp disrupted, Jaraxxus logged off.
Jaraxxus > what
Nicolas Dupre > Hi again, not sure why you logged?
Nicolas Dupre > I thought I should explain since you were confused
Nicolas Dupre > The navy were attacking me while I was attacking you
Jaraxxus > all i know i lost a ship i famed past 2 weeks for
Jaraxxus > I won't be able to afford new plex becose of that
Nicolas Dupre > That's EVE
Jaraxxus > I knwo what eve is
When Jaraxxus logged back in, Nicolas still had his pod tackled. He wanted to clarify the faction warfare mechanics that Jaraxxus had asked about. The carebear wasn't interested; he was preoccupied with thoughts about money. Typical.
Jaraxxus > you didn't cought me becose of your ownage
Jaraxxus > you cought me cuz i was afk
Jaraxxus > I was afk becose i was in high sec
Jaraxxus > becose last time i played eve
Jaraxxus > you didn't even exist
It didn't take long for Jaraxxus to admit his guilt. He'd assumed highsec was 100% safe. Though his current character was new, he'd played EVE years ago, before the New Order was around to give highsec its current flavor.
Nicolas Dupre > Well I guess that's your fault for going afk while in space and at war then
Jaraxxus > and that occured one day before i was about to drop my corp
Jaraxxus > it was not cooperation warfare
Jaraxxus > i did not expect that to happen
Nicolas Dupre > Factional warfare is still war
Jaraxxus > I already told you
Jaraxxus > I did not expect it to happen in high sec
The full magnitude of Jaraxxus' crime was extraordinary. He had decided to go AFK in a 1.5 billion isk battleship--while engaged in faction warfare--simply because that's what he thought highsec was for. He also claimed to be one day away from retirement. Everyone knows that's when you're at the greatest risk.
Nicolas Dupre > You have the protection of the NPC navy but I account for them
Jaraxxus > npc is worth same as rookie ship
Nicolas Dupre > Nah they're worth more than that
Nicolas Dupre > In 0.6, where you were, they do about 500 dps, 37.5 GJ/s neuts, web and damp me
Nicolas Dupre > It's definitely nothing to write off, the navy cost me a kill I definitely would've got yesterday
Agents of the New Order are natural educators. Nicolas explained, in detail, how he was able to operate in that particular area of highsec while engaged in faction warfare. Time for the carebear to thank him.
Jaraxxus > What are you trying to explain to me
Jaraxxus > i don't realy carte
Nicolas Dupre > Just being helpful
Nicolas Dupre > I'm a nice guy after all
Jaraxxus > You were not helpfull to me
Jaraxxus > I never liked factional warfare
Jaraxxus > that's why i decided to leave
Jaraxxus > it was pure luck
Jaraxxus > that you cought me like that
That's the thing about carebears. When they die, they say a game mechanic is unintuitive. Then, when they're told how the mechanic works, they don't care. They're not actually interested in learning about the game; they feel entitled to complete safety.
Jaraxxus > did you see how old my character is
Nicolas Dupre > Yes, very new I see
Nicolas Dupre > Why didn't you resub your old character?
Jaraxxus > I had to sell my account for real money
Jaraxxus > becose i got broke
Jaraxxus > got 340 e off it
The next confession was enough to shock even the experienced Agent. Jaraxxus was in the middle of a standard "I'm a new player, woe is me" rant when he admitted to RMT'ing his previous character!
Nicolas Dupre > Wow, er, you realise that's a bannable offense and I'm going to have to report that, right?
Jaraxxus > report anything you like
Jaraxxus > As you said
Jaraxxus > you are a nice guy
Jaraxxus > You are a bitch
The carebear showed no signs of remorse for his EULA-violating behavior. He snapped.
Nicolas Dupre > I think we'd best end this now before you confess to anything else
Jaraxxus > You are telling me you are reporting me becose i was explaining to you i sold my old eve account for real money just to save my real life?
Jaraxxus > make sure you report me
Jaraxxus > I want you to report mke
Jaraxxus > go ahead report me
Jaraxxus > put a screenshot also
The carebear raged. It's a shame he turned to madness so quickly--I'm curious about his claim that he had to RMT to "save his real life". It's so rare that a carebear produces an excuse no one else thought of before.


Nevertheless, Nicolas granted the carebear's request to be screenshotted and reported to CCP.
Jaraxxus > you always got a ticket in hand
Nicolas Dupre > Well CCP might go easy on you? I don't know
Jaraxxus > you are an idiot
Jaraxxus > And backstabber
Jaraxxus > The way you show in eve the way you are in real life
Jaraxxus > especialy in backstabber part
Jaraxxus > I hope you are proud of yourself
Jaraxxus > Cuz i woudn't be
The New Order has always taken a strong stand against RMT. Carebears come from all different walks of life. Some carebears are lawyers, others are plumbers. Some are disabled war veterans, and some work on strawberry farms. Regardless of their real-life professions, all carebears come into the game as equals. Just as their real money should not give them an in-game advantage, their in-game activities should not be motivated by real money. The Code should be enough.

42 comments:

  1. Jaraxxus is the most despicable kind of carebear. An inept, self-pitying mass of ignorance. Bravo, Nicolas Dupre!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Month old character in a fail fit faction battleship. I guess he had funds to PLEX that, but he had to RMT is main account? What?

      Delete
    2. Never attempt to analyze the carebear thought process.

      Delete
  2. OK I'm a little confused here...He's Caldari militia and Seil is Amarr space, so he should have been safe from NPC FW attack, shouldn't he? Why did Gallente faction police spawn there?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could he have been running a mission that involved Gallente NPC's? I really don't know as I haven't dabbled in faction warfare yet and really don't know the game mechanics here.

      What I find funny here is, doesn't the interface warn you what you are getting into when you join the militia? He should have known it was a bad idea to AFK mission run while engaged in FW.

      Then to admit he engaged in RMT, that is just madness. Hope he enjoys his suspension and negative wallet balance.

      Delete
    2. Ah yes, I supposed that could have been a mission Gallente NPC...makes sense. Looks like he would have died anyway, without the agent speeding things along lol

      Delete
    3. Must've been quite a battle... There's Gallente and Sansha on the killmail, and there would have been Amarr Navy attacking our Agent.

      Delete
  3. "Some carebears are lawyers, others are plumbers. Some are disabled war veterans, and some work on strawberry farms."

    http://i.imgur.com/XS5LK.gif

    ReplyDelete
  4. I take a leave of absence, come back, and I still see that Jimmyboy is still posting his code propaganda crap from his ass cream for all you code bot monkey faggots to drink pretending it's cool aid.

    I'm pretty sure that Jimmy the Butt Fungus Picker knows he is full of shit, the rest of the new order membership is undetermined... Especially those nut jobs Loyalmoron, M, and Ming.

    I think I will start ganking the bumpers to piss them off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miner, please calm down

      Delete
    2. Welcome back, Butthurt Miner. We need you to teach these no-effort miners how true carebears resist the New Order.

      Delete
    3. I thought the way to resist the New Order was to impersonate agents and shitpost all day long?

      However his post was at least somewhat original, in the aspect that it is different from the fake Mings, -=M=-, and nazianom post on a regular basis.

      Delete
    4. Still a lot of anger though. His leave of absence must not have been very relaxing.

      Delete
    5. So, Amy Lemmont...

      You must be new around here. Let me introduce myself, I am the antagonist of James 315, Butthurt Miner. You want to see original, then feast your eyes on the truth. You know those corpes he has you bring to him? That's what he does.

      Bon Appetit.

      Delete
  5. FURTHER PROOF THAT CALMIL IS A PLACE OF UTTER SHIT.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have never been a fan of code. because I am not into role playing. But sometime I have to tip my hat to them for teaching people that Eve is dangerous and being afk is always a stupid idea. so keep up the good work but maybe tone down the rp just a little.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Looks to the left... Nope still not on the top 10 douche bag list. I still feel non-important :( I guess I have to be more nazi like to be back on the top 10 douche bag list... I'll try real hard this time. Our leader Hitler is counting on me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's mean... You hurt my feelings... *Yells up the basement stairs* Mommy, the mean man on the internet is making fun of meeee. *Cries*

      Delete
    2. *eats popcorn*

      Keep going..

      Delete
    3. Hey Mingle, You keep eating that popcorn your going to become more fat and pathetic then you already are...

      -=M=-

      Delete
  8. That should be "idiot" no period is needed as it is only a word and not a sentence... idiot

    -=M=-

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm... I stand corrected. Lets try again. M, you are an idiot.

      Delete
    2. I am fairly certain that these things are punctuated. Even if I'm wrong on that, though, we have a case of the pot calling the kettle black with that run on sentence you have up there.

      Generally, I think calling people out on their punctuation only detracts from meaningful discussion. You either understand what someone said, misunderstand, or don't understand. If you understand, then just let it go. If you misunderstand, then that's not your fault the person wasn't clear. Perhaps they'll clarify when they realize there's a misunderstanding. If you don't understand, then ask for clarification.

      In this case, I think you understood just fine, and because the reaction to this absurd comparison to Nazism is justified, trumped up punctuation rules were the best recourse you had.

      I've never been so horribly treated by an agent of the New Order as they are treated here by dissenters. You claim to be the moral high ground, but use the most despicable tactics and worthless red herrings to try to detract from the issues at hand.

      The issues being that carebears would rather petition CCP to change the game to make them safe than take any efforts to protect themselves, and are at the same time so loss adverse they they will flip out and say the nastiest things to people playing the game as it was intended to be played.

      Delete
    3. Come on star, common sense isn't allowed on this blog. You should know that by now. Back to your corner!!!

      Trolling aside though I don't think I could have said it any better. You know what the sad thing is -=M-=? He doesn't even support us, yet he gets it. Why can't you?

      Delete
    4. Wrong, as always.
      M just loves to shitpost, so much that he will make stuff up to try to strike a blow.
      Read a few books, idiot.

      Delete
    5. Those who understand
      Are the few and far between
      Diamonds in the rough

      Delete
    6. those who don't understand join code.

      Delete
    7. @ ミ★
      your use of the word dissent is misplaced, for carebears to be dissenters the code would have to be some kind of official body they are absolutely not (don't bother trying to contradict this fact with your usual proxy vote bollocks)so they do not dissent they merely disagree.
      and just as code feels justified in some strange way doing what they do so to do the miners fell every bit as justified.
      it is a battle that no one will win i feel (yes, yes, code i know you think you will ).

      Delete
  9. Hey Ming, tell your fan club to calm down... Jesus Christ it's been about a week and a half of "hitler" and "nazi" tears already.

    ReplyDelete
  10. meh seems made up

    ReplyDelete
  11. meh definitely made up

    ReplyDelete
  12. All these carebear tears are lolz.
    The New Order wins every time that butthurt miner guy posts. And tha M dude, what an idiot!
    Let's not forget veersanon, as i suspect most of the shitpostanons are his alts.
    What an impoten bunch of raging noobs!
    Thanks James for what you have brought to EvE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. whats an impoten ?
      what an idiot!

      Delete
  13. Can someone link me to the strawberry farm guy?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm going to fix Faction Warfare mechanics in Hisec just as soon as I fix the Wardec mechanic to allow CONCORD to prematurely respond to ganker and pirate corps that Wardec innocent miners! If CCP gets in my way, then I will get CCP banned just like I got DJ and those other mean people banned!
    Never piss off a real-life space lawyer!
    -Veers Belvar

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guys.. we should watch out. I just confirmed that this is indeed the real Veers! His name links to his real-life space law website!
      -Nitetime Video

      Delete
    2. You know, it won't be long before RL space lawyers are a thing. After all, they sent an espresso machine up to the ISS recently. If one of the presumably intelligent scientists on board doesn't realise coffee is hot we could have the world's first space law suit on our hands.

      We should call him Visionary Veers.

      Delete
  15. "The Code should be enough."

    Indeed!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Do I need some information pertinent to the subject please? Send to my fellow journalists to read and give special attention to the relevant information

    ReplyDelete

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