Thursday, April 2, 2015

So Life Can Be Good Again, Part 1

The world we live in can be a messed-up place sometimes. Some look at the state of the world and, feeling powerless, throw up their hands. But others--the best of us--are filled with determination. We will do whatever it takes to save the world.


Among the steps that need to be taken: Killing all of the auto-piloting pods in highsec. Hadon Radin was caught in the act of violating the Code. Agent Tisiphone Dira put a stop to this disaster before things could get any worse.


The crisis was averted. However, Tisiphone needed to make sure the perpetrator understood the severity of the situation.


A confession was quickly obtained. The police make it look a lot more difficult than it is.


Hadon claimed total ignorance of the Code. It's not like it's a revolutionary wave that's been sweeping highsec and dominating EVE conversation for the past few years.


The bot-aspirant was entirely oblivious to the situation. Now, for the first time, he realized that he hadn't successfully made the trip to Jita. He was too busy "fixing his washer" to notice what had been happening in-game.


Tisiphone got the carebear up to speed. Hadon was stunned when he learned that the kind young Agent he'd been speaking to this whole time was actually his killer.


Hadon flew into a rage. (Carebears are so much more polite when they don't know they've been killed.) In his anger, the carebear expressed his wish that Tisiphone die, so life could be good again. Naturally, our Agent hastened to clarify that an in-game death, rather than a EULA-violating real-life death, was what Hadon intended.


Sadly, carebears rarely take the lifeline. Hadon confirmed that he wished real-life death upon all who would shoot an autopiloting pod.


Tisiphone gave Hadon a short break so the carebear could compose himself. In the meantime, Tisiphone hoped, Hadon would familiarize himself with the Code. But then Hadon admitted that he had read the Code after all. Of course he had. The Code is unbelievably famous.


Despite the New Order's track record of good works, it actually has a poor reputation in some circles. Hadon harbored prejudices against those who enforce the Code. Once again, he confirmed that his attitude extended beyond the context of the game.


As the carebear condemned cowardice and cruelty, he announced his desire to murder an entire continent of people. Surely this was not the stuff of which Code-compliance is made. Would Tisiphone be able to convince Hadon to buy a permit?

To be continued...

43 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Why so much butthurt??? Do tell!!!

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    2. Please point on the toy mining barge where the New Order catalyst touched you.

      ~Asia Leigh

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  2. Wow, Hadon Radin should seriously consider getting professional help.

    Oh, & this is comedy gold: "A confession was quickly obtained. The police make it look a lot more difficult than it is."

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  3. I think I am going to start making up laws now. today's new law is every time code says they always win always James has to hand out free blowjobs in jita.
    Oh and no back talking it is they law because I said so which is the same reason code gives for the made up laws the like to role play.

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    Replies
    1. You seem to have misunderstood why the Code is the Law of Highsec. I recommend rereading the Code, if you wish to understand why some sets of rules are Law and others are Sick Carebear Fantasies.

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    2. Sick carebear fantasies are what james created, please get that correct maria.

      -=M=-

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    3. Getting real tired of your shit, fake M.

      The M at 7:39 is not me. You can tell that's not me because he wrote a message which wasn't completely, 100% about Ming. He didn't even say "mingy" once! And no easily-avoidable misspellings! Come on, Fake M, get your shit together.

      *fantasizes about Ming*

      -=M=-

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    4. Anon @ 6:40 PM

      Making up your own "laws" is a big part of EVE online, and it's good to see that you wish to create emergent gameplay. The only part you are missing is the ability to project any form of power to enforce said laws. Work on that.

      Delete
  4. He got killed in a video game and believes that justifies nuclear holocaust on millions of people. Scary stuff. What a psychopath!

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  5. Hmmmm.... lets see, 1) Hadon lost his pod because he is, to be blunt, a dumb SOB. Truly people, AFK flying in a spaceship PVP game is stupid. You can cry, bitch, whine, shed tears of impotent rage all you like, but the FACT is that EVE is a PVP game, and doing all the above make you look like an idiot.

    2) Wishing to nuke all the good folk in Australia, just so your opponent dies, because your butthurt over your lose of pixal spaceship in a pixal spaceship PVP game is also stupid, and insane.

    You Hadon, are a Fucktard. If you are confused..

    noun,
    A person of unbelieveable, inexcuseable and indescribable stupidity. (Stupidity being defined as "knowing how and doing it wrong anyway")

    NOT A CONTRACTION FOR "FUCKING RETARD"! Those who are truly "Retarded" are not responsible for their affliction. True Fucktards are 100% responsible for their situation and provide vast entertainment as they are usually blissfully unaware of their own Fucktardery.

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    Replies
    1. That describes all new order agents ant knights perfectly...

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  6. The only thing that the new halaima code of induct is good for is to be printed and used as a toilet paper substitute...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're not the first person to hold this view. Perhaps we can interest you in a Soundcloud recording of the Code? Your fellow illiterates have found it quite helpful.

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    2. Why would you want to torture people in that manner???

      Delete
  7. Ah good, I'm finally being nuked. That should end the banality.

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  8. meh seems made up

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. seems made up to meh

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  9. meh definitely made up

    ReplyDelete
  10. made up it seems to be

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When 900 years old, you reach, look as good, you will not!

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  11. Hadon Radin's RL genocidal threats of nuclear war with a minor island in the pacific have to be viewed threw the lens of social isolation and boredom. If CCP were to fix highsec so that every afk pod could call in a massive preemptive concord response to potential crimes against them then people like Hadon would be able to remain in game and CCP would have another sub for a few more months.

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    Replies
    1. Getting real tired of your shit fake veers

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    2. Both of you fake Veers can shove off. I do no need any help to look like a dick. Everyone knows that i, the real Veers, am a shitposter of unequaled aptitude.
      Hell i invented the shitpost!
      The CODE always catches me and M doing the nasty! Always!

      Delete
  12. Do yet get tired with arguing with yourself yet veers?

    ~ Asia Leigh

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    Replies
    1. Not really, i just sit back and watch the lame imposters.

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    2. @ Asia Leigh
      Do *you* get tired, not "Do yet get tired"
      You should redo the entire sentence instead.
      "Have you gotten tired of arguing with yourself yet veers?" sounds better.

      -=M=-

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    3. Veers, do not forget the new anal training toys when you visit tonight. I so long for a good stretching whike we whine about CODEs superiority over vile carebears.

      -=M=-

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    4. Teaching proper grammar to the idiots who sign up as agents today is liking teaching table manners to a pig.

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    5. I know about proper grammar because i'm a very rich lawyer and tea party favorite.

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    6. Hey M, your one to talk about grammar...

      ~ Asia Leigh

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    7. Ok you fake Veers can kiss my ass, but you should remove that gold plated dildo of M's first. I don't want you poking your eye out and taking me to real court, where my true stupidity can be seen.

      The CODE always wins! I always whine! Always!

      Delete
    8. @Veers;5:02, At least pigs stand a chance of learning table manners

      Delete
  13. Help people! Im really sad. Really. I got tricked into donating isk to code, 11 billion of it *sobs* and now im broke!! I need help from honest miners to give me some isk so i can get back on my feet and loose more ships in pvp. Who wants to help me?

    Ming Tso

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oops i stuck too many cocks in at one again and before i knee it i was shitposting garbage that no one even cares about. I will really try to get myself under control, and quit trying so hard to be relevant.

      -=M=-

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    2. awww ming! Does that mean you wont 'donate' again to code? I think everyone should send ming some isk, he is hurting from the sounds of it. You know how carebears are with their isk needs. I guess that means you wont be a top donator for april *sad face* Well since your first 'donation' is fake, why not just fake another one? You could 'donate' say 15 billion this time, yea that is something people would believe. Cant have ming not be the center of attention now can we?

      -=M=-

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    3. Ming, Ming, Ming! How do I obsess over thee? Oh, let me count the ways...

      * I obsess over your having donated so much more money than I could ever bear to part with.
      * I obsess over your donating so much time and effort to the cause of the New Order when all I can think about is making money.
      * I obsess over how you just don't seem to pay as much attention to me as I do to you.
      * I obsess over improving my spelling and grammar to the point where they'll be a match of yours.
      * I obsess over touching you...I like to pretend it's with contempt, but we both know what I really want.

      *Sighs with longing while staring at Ming's strong, masculine face*

      -=M=-

      Delete
  14. Cool. It's in my national interest to support the code.
    New it would happen one day.

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  15. *knew
    Damn phone

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ugh.. All of these fake posts are getting on my nerves.. time to shed my disguise and show the internet my true form. #NitetimeVideoIsVeersBelvar

    ReplyDelete
  17. this blog is sexy time and gives me the spicyest of all boners

    ReplyDelete

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