Saturday, April 11, 2015

Only James 315 Can Judge You Now

CCP's GMs aren't the only ones who receive petitions from EVE players. As the supreme ruler of highsec, I, too, handle petitions of a kind. I often receive complaints about the behavior of other players. I treat all of these "petitions" with the seriousness they deserve.


A shocking petition came in from a miner named Joker Mikakka. He leveled scandalous accusations against Agent Guybertini, who ganked his untanked Retriever. If the idea of a rogue New Order Agent doesn't take your breath away, I don't know what would. Imagine all of that power being used for evil instead of good.


Let's rewind. Guybertini ganked Joker and sent him a form EVEmail, reminding Joker of his obligations under the Code. Joker was also instructed to buy a mining permit. In reply, Joker proclaimed his loyalty to the Code, space-lawyered a bit, and demanded reimbursement.


Guybertini, in his infinite patience, corrected the miner's misconceptions about the Code. Based on the EVEmail timestamps, we know that Joker already filed his petition to me by this point.


Joker didn't argue with Guybertini's interpretation of the Code; he merely made a solemn declaration. Joker was right about the fact that only I could judge. The word "now" was unnecessary, though.


Joker's carefully constructed image as a Code-compliant miner collapsed like a house of cards. He accidentally admitted to having been AFK for (at least) ten seconds before he was ganked. There were other flaws in the fa├žade. Joker claimed to have recently purchased a mining permit from me, which he didn't. He also lacked a bio.


In the end, I would judge, as indeed I must judge. It is the heaviest burden I carry as Saviour of Highsec.


And yet, even this heaviest of burdens is a light one. The Code is written, and the bot-aspirant miner is already found guilty under its provisions before he sheds his first tears. One need only enforce the judgment.

28 comments:

  1. Once again code always lies and loses, always!

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    1. And so; Judgement was passed. Let us all recognize and learn from the wisdom of Supreme Protector James 315. And know it is not our place to pass judgement, unless we are the Saviour of Highsec or one of his Agents.

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    2. Poor delusional ming....loyal but delusional...

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  2. i feel like Joker is not a lost cause. In his heart he is loyal, he just doesn't know it yet in his conscious mind. Perhaps this episode will change his ways towards compliance.

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  3. are you guys even still in halaima?

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    1. The New Order is in every system with a security status of 0.5 or higher, so, yes.

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    2. man ming is so full of crap, his eyes must be brown.
      I see plenty of high sec systems every day with no code in it at all.
      I will grant you that alot of 0.5+ systems have code in them, but not all do.

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    3. As James 315 has stated in the Code; your mining in James 315 Space is completely at the pleasure of the New Order. If we feel like stopping you, we are entirely within our rights to do so. If we don't feel like stopping you, we won't. It's up to us, not you.

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    4. yeah sure ming member of the most ineffective bunch of petty criminals in the history of eve .1% ineffective to be exact .
      you lot are pathetic.

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    5. "completely at the pleasure of the New Order" just a fancy way of saying code can't really control high sec. So once again they talk big but fail to back it up.

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  4. It's always good from time to time to read about our Supreme Protector's adjudication of miner disputes with agents. He gives us all the facts in a complex situation and, as only He can, explains the application of His wisdom in obtaining a just outcome.

    It is indeed a joy to be an agent for such a loving and benevolent Savior! Peace be upon you, James 315.

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  5. CODE. fails while i'm still docked up all safe and sound

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  6. I ALWAYS suck cock!!!! ALWAYS!!!

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    1. Haha, look at PoopAnon, the homophobic miner.
      It can't manage to make anything stick, so it resorts to bashing someone over their sexuality; which is irrelevant when it comes to enforcing the Code. The New Order doesn't discriminate between race, color, national origin, employment status, tribal affiliation, gender identity, sexual preference, military background, real-life religion, or economic background. We do, however, discriminate against Creed though; New Order Agents must follow the Code.

      It is, however, flattering that it attempts to mock the New Order Agent that makes it the most angry. It must have brought its real-life family into an argument with me in the past, and lost, of course. And now, It's personal.

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    2. Yet new order agents only follow the code when it benefits them, in all other cases they ignore the code. If it makes them isk, they do whatever they want, especially since most all code agents are motivated with the amassing of wealth.

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    3. @Anon3:35
      The most important job of a New Order Agent is making sure that -miners- are following the Code. Since New Order Agents don't mine, or make money through PVE activity, Agents are rarely, if ever, in violation of the Code. All Agents of the New Order know Highsec PVE is the worst way to make Isk in the game; and it is the goal of the New Order to make doing it as painful as possible, and to make everyone who advocates doing it pariahs in the Eve Community. Every person who does PVE in Highsec is a rotten human being, and should be ashamed of themselves. And because of this, There is no doubt in my mind that any Agent caught doing Highsec PVE would suffer the same fate as a miner.

      The most important part of the Code is disrespecting miners and disrupting their "peaceful mining." Only when everyone does this and no miner is able to mine anywhere in James 315 space can the New Order say that its mission is complete.

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    4. Whew, that is a relief, thanks for the clarification ming...so there we have it folks, the new order and the supreme buffoon of highsec, jamie are never going to complete their mission...they are a nasty arrogant bunch of old busy bodies.....

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    5. @Ming Tso

      I get that you have yet to reach puberty and that you are incredibly immature, but please understand that oral sex or more specifically in this case, fellatio, does not make someone homosexual. You clearly have a lot of growing up to do.

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    6. ming
      stop lying again.
      the most important thing to code is blowing smoke up each others asses.
      patting themselves on the back.
      calling people vile names like "subhuman" and now you seem to like calling them "it" (just another form of subhuman).
      collecting tears and generally trying to make others miserable for your own enjoyment.so stop lying.

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    7. @ Ming Tso
      you really are an abhorrent individual.

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    8. no one in their right mind actually thinks code will get 100% compliance.
      it's never gonna happen the game will die long before they get anywhere near even 50% of their target the whole thing is just a waste of time.(like eve isn't a big enough time sink anyway).

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  7. meh seems made up

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    1. meh another veers alt

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  8. Lol @ the carebear tears. CODE wins by existence! Just the thought of someone shooting spaceships in EvE make the carebears cry woe and try to shitpost here.
    CODE wins!

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    1. @ anon 9.40am
      shut up you stupid boy (or girl)!

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    2. It is funny how code keeps repeating the same thing over and and over just like a bot stuck in loop would.

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  9. The miner would be correct that a challenge would be required to determine code compliance if no other infraction is evident. Since he lacked a permit in his bio and then admitted to going AFK the challenge seems to be a moot point. After all one would not challenge someone on the state of their taxes when they have been seen drunk driving.

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