Friday, April 10, 2015

The Gamis Borderlands, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agents Kalorned and Svara Eir took preemptive action to neutralize a gathering threat in the lowsec borderlands around Gamis. The result was a dead Mackinaw for Steroid Gontarsky, caught illegally mining in the DMZ established by Kalorned. After repeatedly using racial slurs, the miner changed his tune at the last minute. He attempted to space-lawyer his way to reimbursement. However, there was no question that the Code had been followed to the letter.


Steroid tried to turn Kalorned and Svara against each other. No such luck. The New Order is mighty steel, forged of impenetrable bonds. We know who the real enemy is.


His administrative remedies nearly exhausted, Steroid hedged by reopening a convo with Svara. If Kalorned wouldn't give Steroid money, maybe she would.


Out of the blue, Steroid came up with an argument he believed would change everything: An appeal to CCP's finances.


It was a case of bad timing, as CCP had just revealed the truth about ganking and player retention at FanFest. Kalorned assured the miner that he'd been retained.


In frustration, Steroid once again unholstered his carebear excuse delivery system. It was strictly a spray-and-pray affair; many of his rapid-fire excuses contradicted each other. Kalorned wasn't moved.


Steroid gave up on Kalorned entirely. He switched over to his convo with Svara. She wasn't answering him, but that didn't stop the frantic miner from begging for attention/isk.


The miner saw his chance for reimbursement slipping through his fingers. Would Svara listen? To improve his odds, Steroid dialed back his racism--but only by a hair. He still referred to Kalorned as "the nig".


As the minutes passed, Steroid lost it completely. The miner had gone completely mad. And by "mad", I don't mean he was angry. On second thought, I actually mean that, too.


Now even Steroid realized he faced a ban for his use of racial slurs. Without an Agent to speak with, he could only talk to himself. Clearly, all hope was lost.

...Or was it?


In the end, Steroid finally came to understand that he'd been wrong the whole time. The New Order Agent was not his enemy, but his greatest friend. Steroid even promised to give Svara all of his in-game possessions, in the event he was banned for using racial slurs. Granted, it's difficult to transfer your stuff after you've been banned, but it was the thought that counted. Even in his darkest hour, the miner had been saved by the New Order. Victory!

58 comments:

  1. Seems made up, just like code

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    1. The Code is not something that has always existed, so it had to be made. This is well know, but I share it here in order to help save you from your ignorance. Not long ago, James 315 saw the sad and immoral condition of highsec and, in his wisdom, decided to save highsec miners from themselves. The unprecedented and perfect product of the Savior's inspiration was, naturally, The Code. Since then, everybody can agree that highsec has steadily become a much better and more emergent place.

      Delete
  2. The miner came to the conclusion that it was wrong, and that the New Order was the greatest friend it could have. It even offered to donate all of its assets to CODE., shamelessly attempting to get Agents of the New Order to pay attention to it.

    Anonymous posters on this blog should take heed of the lessons taught here; donating isk and assets to the New Order is the fastest way one can help reform Highsec- and make it so that the enforcement activities of the New Order can one day be phased out, when we have achieved Final Victory!

    The Code ALWAYS wins!!!! ALWAYS!!!!

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    1. Preaches to donate to new order,
      Still has not proven to donate,
      Says miners should take heed,
      Does no pvp

      way to go ming!

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    2. Shooting code monkeys may not be a fast way to reform HighSec, but it is the only way...code is an arrogant dictatorship, and I live in a FREE HighSec...

      Delete
    3. @ Anom 7:25 and Anom 9:02

      Miners, I'm going to have to ask you to calm down.

      ~ Asia Leigh

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    4. weak asia, real weak...

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    5. well asia leigh is part of code, so yea, weak goes along with it.

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    6. Speaking of weak, how about you 2 post your killboards so we can determine how strong you really are? Any takers?

      ~ Asia Leigh

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    7. @Asia
      Posting killboards is not the purview of a miner, as it most likely is vexed by the "You do not have any kills yet" message that comes up whenever they attempt to access the "kills" section of their character sheets.

      Once, I had the same problem, as I was once a lowly Highsec carebear. But then I joined a nullsec alliance, and found out how easy it is to find people to kill in EVE. I then joined WAFFLES., where I learned how excellent PVP could be under the supervision of PVP powerhouses such as Gobbins, Mr. Rive, and JEFFRAIDER.

      And later in my years, I found it fit to study the art of Posting under the best poster in the business, James 315. This man is so much more than any carebear can fathom; a literal God amongst posters, having written out the History of All of Eve more than twice, and even before being elected the Saviour of Highsec. James 315 is one of the original authors of how to run an EVE Ponzi Scheme, which is part of the reason that Minerbumping.com won't ever shut its doors, as the story of Currin Trading, (whom some do you know as James 315's alt) was central to one of the greatest heists that EVE Online has ever known.

      I guess what I mean so say with all of these words, is that there has never, ever, in the history of EVE, been a famous miner, save Chribba. Most of these miners will run their days attempting to make ISK in Eve, and die out, as surely as the psykers that fuel The Emperor, who in turn projects the Astronomicon. We, in the New Order, attempt to inspire them to something more than being fuel, to actually violently cast aside the role of being picked on, by shooting them and depriving them of their lowly "fun." We attempt to provoke and anger the carebear, in hopes that it may someday wish to be something more, something that doesn't deserve punishment or being picked on; we hope to force the carebear to stand up for itself, and to actually earn its humanity by abandoning the abusive practice of mining.

      Eventually, we will teach every individual in Highsec that the carebear is something to be pitied, and educated through Death. Everyone in New Eden will actively seek out miners to kill, so that they may be saved. Miners are capable of being so much more than "simple." We intend to force this lesson until all of Highsec learns, that the proper place to experience EVE is not here, unless one is an Agent of the New Order.

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    8. Wow, wall of text from ming again?
      Calm down ming! It is just a game. So you have yet to do anything meaningful, so you have yet to help anyone in game but yourself. Its OK ming, we still love you and your sqeeky pre-teen voice. I could lie to you and say one day you might be somewhat important, but I don't want to become code like. Its OK thou, you can rage on ming, it makes good reads for a good laugh.

      Delete
    9. This world sure is in trouble if 5 paragraphs are considered a wall of text...

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    10. Ming why are you so stupid? Born that way head injury to much crack? or could it be you have managed to suck so much dick that it lowered your IQ?

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    11. What a huge salty wall of tears Ming Tso. Show me on this doll of a neo-Nazi where the naughty miner touched you.

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    12. way to imitate code anon you know what they say about it being the sincerest form of flattery

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    13. Excellent post, Ming. Found myself nodding in agreement all the way through.

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  3. Many of the hostile anon posters are simply bored and socially isolated. Since i'm a rich lawyer and tea party activist I can say without a doubt the goons make a mess of this game as they always 100% of the time scam you so if you want real enforcement in highsec go with Concord

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  4. Hazzah!! Another fine CODE. victory against the evil that is carebearism. \o/

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  5. meh seems made up

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  6. Mining is the #1 cause of mental illness in EVE online players.

    Save a mind, kill a miner.

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    Replies
    1. then how come all of the mental degenerates in EVE are code agents?

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    2. @ Anom 9:04

      Citation?

      ~ Asia Leigh

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    3. ok, you owe the Free Citizens of HighSec 10M Isk for illegal ganking...I see no ganking permit in your bio...If not paid with in 2 days your ship may be forfeit...

      How is that asia?

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    4. oh darn, now asia leigh will hide in station :(

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    5. The New Order is once again proven successful.

      Miners, being incapable of original thought or comebacks, imitate New Order culture and sayings, including the way we dress, our accents, and the New Order Mining Permit.

      However, even though they are flattering with their imitation- Nothing duplicates the je ne sais quoi of a New Order Agent. Nor do they manage to even resemble the deadliness.

      Miners are generally incapable of inflicting damage, due to their long-term neglect of even basic skills such as Surgical Strike V and Small Hybrid Turret V. Some say that it is unnecessary for them to train such skills- and that even buying the skill books would be "a waste of precious isk."

      Their dependence upon money blinds them and binds them to a life of servitude. Their insistence on denying such basic facts of daily life such as pledging fealty to James 315 hobbles them. We, the Agents of the New Order, will liberate them from their subhuman existence, forcing to change, and enduring, (without effort,of course,) the small-minded and childish retorts that they ineffectively hurl at us- as if they are attempting to fight a war armed with popcorn.

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    6. Confirming that a suicide ganker is afraid to lose their ship >.>

      0/10, at least put some effort into your trolling...

      ~ Asia Leigh

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    7. Mingle : Their dependence upon money blinds them and binds them to a life of servitude.
      Yes, code is all about the isk, all they ever look for and all they value.Quite right ming!

      Delete
    8. @ Anom 11:02

      How so, when the average mining barge gank is usually a net loss for the ganker, or at best a break even proposition? Yes the freighter and orca ganks will make up for some of that, but still on average its still a net loss for the average line member. Care to explain that?

      ~ Asia Leigh

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    9. The whole point of the new order mining permit is that we have the power to enforce the purchase of mining permits, you don't have the power to enforce ganking permits. If you do have such a power, please, please come show us.

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  7. Code ALWAYS loses ans scams!!! ALWAYS!!!!

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    1. Agents of the New Order, often imitated; never duplicated.

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    2. Dude... Your hogging all the tears, share damn it :P

      ~ Asia Leigh

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    3. "Agents of the New Order, often morons; never winning."

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  8. another antiganker failure

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  9. Kinda funny how even with all their strutting around they still are less then 1% effective. Even better yet ccp said so itself! :)
    We always knew code was a failure, nice to see ccp admit it to us all :)

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    1. @anon9:57
      And yet, the New Order holds dominion over 75% of the ingame population, despite only owning 25 percent of the space in New Eden. All the while growing the playerbase- as visitors to Minerbumping.com have been proven to stay subscribed to Eve Online.

      The Code doesn't just ALWAYS win, The Code ALWAYS is good for player retention, ALWAYS!!!!

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    2. You don't hold dominion over me, fool...if you think you do you will need lots more people...

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    3. @ anom 1:25

      What are you going to do? Shoot us with your mining laser? A lot of tough talk coming from a rebel miner.

      ~ Asia Leigh

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    4. Unsuprisingly comprehensive reading and critical thought are in short supply for the miners posting on minerbumping.com. The 1% stat referred to new players who were suicide ganked. So when you reference this stat all you're really saying is that, contrary to AG propoganda, code does not infact gank new players.

      Delete
  10. The CODE is 1% effective? Then you are lucky enough to be part of an exclusive group of
    players effected. The fact that you have taken the time to visit this site and post indicates that you have been deeply touch by this phenomenon. Say what you will against the CODE but know that every word you post here will contradict any opposition.

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    1. BeBopareBop RhubarbPieApril 11, 2015 at 11:05 AM

      I don't know about other agents, but when I was with the new order, I found that I could help the opposing party better understand our goals and have a polite discussion 80% of the time and sell them a permit around 30% of the time. These numbers are based on people that I contacted after a gank.

      Delete
  11. minglelingdingdongApril 11, 2015 at 1:38 AM

    Be careful, The code scammed me, and they will scam you too

    - Ming Tso

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  12. Goons will 100% of the time scam you, the only way to avoid being scammed is to dock up and remain bored and socially isolated, it works for me!

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  13. Wow that Steroid guy sounds like he is high on amphetamine lol

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  14. The strongest indicators for a new player staying with EVE are associated with social activity: joining corps, using market and contract systems, pvping, etc.
    @ccp_rise

    i see no mention of being mugged by code causing player retention?

    As a funny side note: one of the stronger indicators for whether or not someone sticks with EVE is whether or not they used combat drones during their first 30 days. Maybe using drones is just so awesome that they decide to sub right then and there?! Or maybe it's just correlation related to depth of engagement. You be the judge!

    @ccp_rise

    it seems using drones is more responsible for player retention than you code monkeys.not suprising really .

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  15. @Anon2:49
    It is so simple, I will dismount from my high position within the New Order and stoop down to your lowly stature to explain it to you, so that even someone as lowly as you may understand and benefit.

    You see, when a miner pays a New Order Agent 10 million isk for a New Order Mining Permit, not only are they Following the Code, they are also engaging in player interaction; an indicator that shows that they are more likely to stay subscribed to Eve.

    If a Goofus miner decides to flout the law and mine without a permit, that miner is engaged in consensual PvP by New Order Agents; the consent being given twice- once when the miner decides to undock its ship, and again when the miner engages its mining lasers against a defenseless asteroid. It is shown that engaging in PvP is another of the main factors in player retention, so CODE. Agents enforcing the Code helps strengthen not only the New Order, but ALL players in Eve.

    There. I hope that wasn't too hard for you to understand. Yea, through the New Order and the Saviour of Highsec James 315's Word, all players may contribute to player retention, and all of EVE may thrive and benefit.

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  16. Well ive been keeping quiet on this topic, on here at least for the past week or so. However i have been busy getting in touch with all the players i have helped after code harrassed them in one way or another, over the past week. From what ccp says code is running at about or less then 1% effectivity. Thats kinda weak, so i wanted to see what kind of effect i had on those players who i helped out and how many i managed to retain for the game. AND the results are in! After trying to contact all the players i helped i got replies from an amazing 87% of the players! yes, 87% of the players i helped still play eve. It is posibly higher, the 13% is simply ones who didnt reply, they may be taking a break from the game, or they may have quit, i dont know. What i do know is that the 87% who did reply to the mails sent out by my alts all still do play eve.
    This simply makes code look even worse, when hundreds of them cant achieve even 1% together and i alone can retain 87%. :)
    Way to fail code, way to fail.

    -=M=-

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    1. @Anon3:57
      Are you certain that it was "87%" as you claim, M?

      Are you sure you want to go with that number? Maybe you want to adjust up or down so that you don't get stung on the math?

      Because if you aren't lying, that means that you've either helped exactly 100, 200, or 300 people since you started commenting on Minerbumping.com a few months ago. There are no other numbers of people you could have helped and gotten exactly 87%, as you have claimed.

      If you were a better liar, you would have picked a number like 85%, because then you could say you helped 20 or 40 people and only three or six didn't respond. But, since you've already "done the research" and "the results are in," there's no going back and changing your story now.

      Did everyone hear this? M is claiming he has helped a whopping 100 (or 200!) minerbumping victims in two short months! I'm not sure that even the New Order has managed to enforce on that many miners on this site in two months- because, remember, James only posts 1-2 articles a day on this site. And some of those are serials, which take up about 3-4 posts, focusing on a single miner.

      Yes, M, I know it sucks to be proven wrong, but at least it wasn't the New Order dunking you this time. It was your own lies. And simple math.

      And for those who do the math, it's totally clear:
      The Code ALWAYS wins!!!! ALWAYS!!!!

      Delete
    2. @ ming
      Not everyone that visits this fanfiction site posts, and those that do dont always post on the first visit. I was keeping up on what you clowns do long before i posted here the first time. I know its hard for you to believe that some people are kind and help others, but it does happen. Yes, 87% is the correct number, unless a few more people replied to my mails from my alts in the past few hours. Oh, and not every person i helped was posted here, i witnessed some people being harrassed in local from time to time. Unlike you i dont hide in stations, i actully get involved and undock. :)

      Keep trying to troll ming,
      You beautiful fool you,

      -=M=-

      Delete
    3. @Anon6:49
      So, M, what exactly is the number of the "people" that you've "helped?"
      And are they or are they not all characters in the Disney movie "Frozen?"

      Delete
    4. I know its hard for you to keep real life and game apart ming, but im amazed you cant keep a game and a movie apart.

      -=M=-

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    5. way to avoid the question

      Delete
  17. well thanks for the explanation ming but given that around 40% of players who try eve don't stay what you do means nothing.
    and who is this "it" you refer to ?

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  18. you still mewling in high sec "paper tigers"? brief forays into low to bolster your courage maybe?
    laughable.
    they still can't hear you in null .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @PaperTiger4:37
      And, to everyone's surprise, the New Order still doesn't care about compliant miners who are happily mining in nullsec.
      The New Order only focuses on non-compliant miners. And they can only exist in Highsec. However, we can always point and laugh at PaperTiger whenever it claims that it lives in nullsec or tells us we're enforcing the Code incorrectly.

      Delete
    2. and once again you assumptions are wrong ..as usual.
      keep on mewling you puny "paper tigers"

      Delete
    3. oh i get the "it " thing now ! it's your impersonation of "buffalo bill"
      "it rubs the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose" lmao now that's funny!!
      suits your personality too !! rofl lmao!!

      Delete
  19. meh definitely made up

    ReplyDelete

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