Saturday, May 30, 2015

Alliance Executor to the Rescue, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... A high-level diplomatic crisis! Agent Mildron Klinker performed a series of three masterful ganks against Alwar Alliance miners over the course of three days. The alliance executor, Javen Kai, had no choice but to intervene personally.

Now the fate of the Uphene system came down to a battle of wits between the "Brutor Bulldog" and a Very Special Agent of the New Order.
Javen Kai > dont you have anything better to do with your time?
Javen Kai > other than being a greifing faggot?
Mildron Klinker > i actually love what i do
Javen Kai > do you
Mildron Klinker > Praise James 315
Javen Kai > pretty sad
Diplomatic engagement usually develops slowly, over time. Mildron's devastating ganks against Alwar Alliance didn't allow for that. The two men didn't waste any time. The battle lines were drawn sharply.
Mildron Klinker > afk mining is pretty sad indeed
Javen Kai > he wasnt afk
Mildron Klinker > well, why didn't he dock up then
Javen Kai > why should he have to?
Javen Kai > oh mildron kinker is here.. oh no
Alwar Alliance's executor was still in denial. Despite being forced to contact the ganker for a negotiation, he didn't want to admit that Mildron held power over his miners. Javen didn't think they should have to dock up when a ganker came into the system. What an inconvenience that would be! But no matter how carebears feel about gankers, they can still be killed by them. The New Order forces them to confront this reality.
Mildron Klinker > because then this wouldn't have happened: Kill: galendor Darine (Covetor)
Javen Kai > you really dont want to piss me off
Mildron Klinker > get a permit and they will be fine
Javen Kai > no
Javen Kai > Uphene is mine
Mildron Klinker > so, what happends if i would piss you off then? Bringing some Null Sec friends?
Mildron Klinker > Please say yes, i need to fill up my Bingo Card
Javen's plan to neutralize Mildron was thwarted when the Agent declined his request to stop ganking. Now the Brutor Bulldog would need to get tough.
Javen Kai > i will spend every minute while im online looking for your character
Javen Kai > and i will repeatedly find you and kill you
Javen Kai > just like you do my miners
Javen Kai > you wont be able to undock
Javen Kai > without me there
Javen Kai had a very particular set of skills, skills he'd acquired over his four-year career in EVE. Skills that made him a nightmare for gankers like Mildron. Thus far, however, he'd only used his skills to grind isk and create a highsec mining corp.
Mildron Klinker > oh, no worries, im most of the time here: Leremblompes IV - Moon 11 - Center for Advanced Studies School
Javen Kai > ya i know where you live
Javen Kai > you dont think ive been watching you?
Mildron Klinker > hope to see you around then :D
Javen Kai > so be it
Javen was certain that his threats would work. What he failed to realize is that Mildron is an Agent of the New Order. Our Agents do not fear PvP; they seek it out. Discouraged, Javen tried to convince Mildron that the Code had no merit.
Mildron Klinker > well, since you also elected James 315 as the saviour of all Highsec, i do believe you are a bit wrong about that..
Javen Kai > ive never heard of this guy
Javen Kai > and i fail to see why he is relevant
Javen Kai > he ganks newbie miners
Javen Kai > and kills afk freightors
Javen Kai > big deal
The industrial alliance executor insisted that he was completely unfamiliar with me and what I do. He probably wasn't being entirely honest.
Javen Kai > you guys are like annoying rats
Mildron Klinker > just to make Highsec a better place
Javen Kai > i dont think anyone in CODE. or James 315 have the intelligence capable of knowing what is actually best for highsec
Javen Kai > only thing you guys do is make the price on catalysts pretty high
Mildron Klinker > actually we do, removing bots and bot aspirants is what we do, best thing ever happened to Highsec
The Bulldog's bullying got him nowhere with the fearless Agent. Left with no alternative, Javen tried to persuade Mildron that his actions weren't saving highsec.
Javen Kai > tell me how your helping bots out of the game by attacking my guys
Javen Kai > there is not a single bot in my alliance
Mildron Klinker > but bot aspirants plenty
Javen Kai > then go kill them
Mildron Klinker > i just did
Javen Kai > galendor is not a bot
Javen Kai > this is the second time ive told you this
Javen Kai > are you slow?
As time went on, Javen grew increasingly frustrated. Mildron wouldn't budge. The New Order accepts nothing less than total compliance with the Code.
Mildron Klinker > no, but a bot aspirant he definatly is, else he would have docked up already when i entered the system
Javen Kai > nah you scouted him with your alt
Javen Kai > then logged on Mildron after you got the warp in
Javen Kai > leaving little time for him to react after seeing you pop up on watchlist
Mildron Klinker > well, teach your guys to be aligned to a station then, so they can initiate warp once i enter the system
The core of the problem was that Javen, like all carebear-minded individuals, was simply unwilling to accept that highsec miners need to adapt to the presence of other players. They wouldn't do anything to minimize their risk of being ganked. They felt entitled to 100% safety.
Javen Kai > so if your going to enforce your "CODE"
Javen Kai > at least do it fairly huh?
Javen Kai > but you guys arent about the code
Javen Kai > just about killing people that dont fight back
Javen Kai > if you truely wanted to follow a code you would open up a convo
Javen Kai > and ask them a simple question
Javen Kai > like.. are you a bot
It was bot-aspirancy at its finest. Javen wanted the Code to be rewritten so it didn't impose any rules making miners put in effort to stay safe. This is the same mentality that leads a carebear to spend billions on blingy modules but balk at paying 10 million isk for a permit.
Mildron Klinker > people in this area know me already a long time, the time for convo's is over.
Javen Kai > you attack my corp
Javen Kai > you are attacking me
Javen Kai > do you understand im not going to leave you alone if you keep attacking my guys
Mildron Klinker > well, either get your guys a permit or teach them how to dock up in time
Javen Kai > no your going to not attack my guys
Try as he might, Javen just couldn't win the argument. He'd underestimated Mildron Klinker. It soon became clear that there was no room for compromise on either side.

To be continued...


  1. And the results are in!

    Basketball - Sport of choice for those who are incarcerated.
    Soccer - Blue collar workers, rank and file employees.
    Football - Low-level management.
    Softball - Mid-level management.
    Baseball - Upper-level management.
    Golf - Directors, Executives.

    Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you go, the smaller your balls become.

    Considering that our resident pillow-biter, James 315, is the self-proclaimed ruler of all of highsec, his balls must be really, really small. I'm thinking seaseme seed or even poppy seed small. Now go smoke that opium.

    This is another quality trollific post from your friends at Carebears United.

    We are many. We are strong. The code will fail. The code will fall. A free highsec is worth fighting for. Saving highsec from the savior of highsec, one carebear at a time.

    1. One could argue the same point about code.

    2. One would lose said argument. Please show us the 10 trillion ISK killboard for "Carebears United".

      I'll wait.

    3. Really? Sounds like I hit a nerve there. James 315's balls really are the size of seaseme seeds or poppy seeds. Want proof? Well here it is:

      James 315 Killboard

      No activity since Sept 19, 2012. Now that's a coward who chickened out so he can tell other people to do his dirty work for them. And the reason for this is that everyone is gunning for his weird glowing ass and looking to fill it full of antimatter. So he stays docked up in station like the coward he is.

      Some leader you guys have. Makes you guys go out there and get killed while he sits on his high horse spewing code propaganda from his ass like a fountain of diarrhea. In fact, DJ Entropy writes the blog. He admitted as much. So code wants good 'ol Jimmy Boy to be their leader. A leader who can't be bothered to write his own blog. Reminds me of Saul from KJV: 1 Samuel 10 where Saul couldn't find his asses.

    4. @Butthurt Miner

      James 315 is immortal. You are a diarrhea fountain with a morbid obsession with James's shining posterior. Yet, you have not received a boom from him. Protip: you are always welcome to donate isk to the New Order in increments of 1 Billion, at which point you shall receive the attention you seek.

      Glad I could help.


    5. "Sounds like I hit a nerve there"...
      Eh... do you even know what tears/rage are?

      As I have previously demonstrated:

      Goofus (Miner): "Blah Blah The Code is lame Blah Blah"

      Gallant (Agent): "You are wrong because of reasons"

      Goofus (Miner): "OMG ROFL LOL Your tears are delicious ROFL LOL LMAO ROFL"


    6. @Ming Tso: And that is your delusion. Dropping the RP for a sec, do you honestly think that James 315 is immortal? The character is immortal so long as he pays his subscription, plexes his account, CCP maintains the game, or the servers remain online. The man or woman behind the character is a mortal as you or me. Last time that I checked, he/she puts his/her pants on the same way that myself, and everyone else, including you do: One leg at a time. Nothing special here. Besides, you'll have to pry the keyboard from my cold, dead hands before I give the new order any of my isk.

      @Nitetime Video: Is that all you got? Really? LOL. Comon, I expected better from you. At least Dick Job Enthrobber (DJ Entropy) was half way entertaining.


    7. you've seen James 315 put his pants on? Was this as you were looking through his window or something?

    8. @Butthurt Miner
      Dropping the "RP" for a second, yes, I absolutely and truly believe that James 315 is immortal, and will succeed my lifetime, and those of many others as well. Contrary to your beliefs, James 315 does not need an active subscription, and CCP does not need to maintain the game "EVE Online" for James 315 to live- for He can do that on this blog.

      What you fail to understand in your meandering, confused, "Butthurt" ramblings is that James 315 is an idea. An Idea that shines with the notion that the Player-Versus-Environment paradigm that has plagued video games from their beginning, should not be tolerated and its adherents executed using every method of in-game punishment, and games without these should be altered to allow these poor souls to be saved through the cleansing fire of righteous insult and better use of game mechanics than the insidious "Carebear," as it will never match the skill of dedicated enforcers to end what "it" thinks is "fun."

      The Carebear will be scourged, the Carebear will be beaten, the Carebear will be driven, and the carebear will ultimately be defeated, in All games, as it is in Highsec.

      Praise James 315.

    9. @Anon2:35
      I feel obligated to say:
      "Woah, watch out! We got an badass over here!"

      Of course, this carebear calls the New Order "pussies," from the safety of its anonymous account. Which it uses because, strangely enough, it doesn't want Agents of the New Order enforcing justice upon it.

      "Bitches," indeed.

  2. Ladies and Gentlemen,

    On my right: the Brutor Bulldog... Javen Kai!

    On my left, a Very Special Agent... Mildron Klinker!

    This will truly be a clash of titans!

    1. He should move his alliance to the Free Systems Of Panorad.

    2. It appears that the "Free" systems of Panorad are being brought back into line by noble enforcement actions of New Order Agents.

      Isn't it sad that your party has been shut down.

  3. I got this feeling some carebear is going to get leremblomped in part 3... just saying

  4. Spoiler alert: the Code always wins!! Always!!!

  5. prelude to part 3:

    1. that is lovely do you also whore on concord kills and brag about those as well?
      Oh and how about adding and

    2. congradulations on finally participating in the war gentleman.. ive been flying around trying to pick fights all day.. havent seen a single fleet form to fight me.. and i sat in your home system for nearly an hour. When this over some of you will have actually learned to have done something other than kill mining barges, i promise you.

    3. I didn't know concord was part of your alliance Brutor Buldog.
      Shame you let them do approx. 90% of the work on the kill.

    4. he would fit in in AG they are good at assisting concord kills

    5. More like Concord is whoring in on AG kills.

    6. It would appear that the line you have used has already been copyrighted by James 315 and the New Order of Highsec. Please ask permission before you use our intellectual property.


    7. wow 5.8% damage LOLNOOBFAGLOLOL!!

    8. @Ming Tso: Hey Ming, in case you haven't figured it out yet, I do not respect the new order, James 315, or any claim or copyright they make. So here's some more copyright infringement: Concord is whoring on AG kills.

      Feel better now?

  6. Why form a fleet to fight you when we can just keep ganking and ganking and ganking regardless of your war? We still get a ton of ganks, you sit in system all day doing jack. Good deal for us.

    1. Just the tactic one would expect from a group of terrorists...

    2. We are not "terrorists." We are freedom fighters. We fight for the freedom of everyone everywhere to not have to listen to you talk about mining, and we fight for your freedom to not be able to mine.

      If you haven't figured it out, mining leads only to bot-aspirancy, which leads to RMT, which leads to banned miners. You should thank us for having the decency to stop you from being banned, before you actually get there.

    3. The new order is akin to ISIS. They will actively go out and kill anyone who disagrees with them or insults them. And ISIS also calls themselves "Freedom Fighters" just like Al Qaeda. Remember 9/11? You know, the day 9/11/2001 where suicide terrorist flew jetliners into the World Trade Center and killed a bunch of innocent people? Look where they are now. Their leader, dead and buried at sea as a slap to the members of Al Qaeda, Shiara Law, and Islam (The FALSE Religion). The new order is the same thing. If I wake up one day and read that members of the new order committed a real life act of terrorism, it wouldn't surprise me.


    4. Guys who blow up computer ships in a video game is equal to a real life extremist group that slaughter whole towns and villages. Yeah they're basically the same thing huh. What a goofus

    5. @BM
      It would not surprise me either, and i think quite a few things that have already happened could be the results of code members rage in real life. Of course they have problems with telling what is game and what is real life. Ming is on the top of my list of those who should be watched by the fbi and dhs, followed closely behind by james himself. Since they are a cult of sorts, odds are they might already be on a watchlist.

    6. is it pantomime season or something the over reactions from these care bears are unreal. Ming should be followed by the FBI and DHS what a retard mcspacky pants you are looking right now

    7. @Butthurt Miner
      You know who else called themselves "Freedom Fighters" when the uneducated rest of the world called them "terrorists?"

      That's right.

      The Heroes of the American Revolution.

      The ones who stood up and fought the evil empire that cared about money more than people. Or have you forgotten, Butthurt Miner? And only a week after Memorial Day? The Founding Fathers would be so "off-put" by your callous disregard of their sacrifices.

      You jape at Code resembling Al Qaida, but look at where the leader of the New Order is now, compared to Osama Bin Laden!

      James 315 is not only not at the bottom of the ocean, but He is Alive, and doing exactly what He's been doing for the last three years, and He is still unable to be stopped! Miners continue to get butthurt every single day due to His paternal and guiding hand! Surely, the fact that you have been traditionally unable to even draw a bead on the Supreme Protector is more evidence of your unreliability and sheer incompetence?

      Not that I blame you, it is hard to match the blinding white light that comes off of the Saviour.


  7. meh seems made up

  8. "Happends", lol. Some real bright fellas in the new order these days

    1. Sometimes the Agent is in such a hurry to save the day that he or she can't worry about proper spelling. On the same token, please remember to capitalize The New Order. It is a very important cultural icon and a proper noun.

    2. No, I will not capitalize "the new order." The only cultural significance that this so called "icon" has is that it's a piece of shit. I'm sorry, but "in such a hurry to save the day" is not an excuse for proper spelling and grammar. Either you have the intelligence to use it properly, or you don't. Many people on here have clearly demonstrated that they don't have the intelligence.

      Just goes to show you, the new order rots the brains of their agents. Case in point: Loyalamoron aka Wolf Soprano and Sophie Soprano.

    3. The New Order is a very important cultural icon, Butthurt Miner, and it is a mark of distinction for you to show it respect. It cannot be denied that The New Order is one of the most recognizable brands in New Eden, as well as one of the greatest contenders in Alliance Tournament XII.

      I would also ask you to stop criticizing errors of spelling and grammar where there are none. Just to clarify: if a New Order Agent makes an error in spelling or grammar, then you must ask yourself- "What if the New Order has changed the rules of spelling and grammar?" And "Must I now follow suit?"

      Obviously the answer is "Yes."

      Please strive to conform to the proper and fashionable methods that New Order Agents set out for you.

      Sincerely yours,

    4. BM,

      Thank you for at least having the respect to capitalize Loyalanon and his Co-Agents in recognition of their superior PVP skills; however, you forgot misspelled Loyalanon. Please try to do better next time.

    5. @Ming Tso: Actually, the obvious answer is a resounding NO. And the only thing that the new order agents get from me is a log up their ass.

      @Nitetime Video: The only reason why I capitalize Loyalamoron is because he is a scociopath. If I didn't, he would walk into a Colorado theater with an automatic rifle and start shooting people. And in case you haven't figured it out, the misspelling was intentional. So please conform to my new spelling of his name.

      Besides, the ONE and ONLYthing that I will give Loyalamoron props for was after the 2014 AT, he actually went into lowsec to do PVP. He went after targets that could, would, and did shoot back. Which is more than I can say for the lot of you cowards.

    6. You may want to see a psychiatrist about your seemingly unhealthy obsession with penises and butts. Deep down inside, you may be a homosexual; and it is unhealthy for you to hold in those feelings.

    7. @Nitetime
      The same is said about code, most (if not all) need to see a psychiatrist, and if they already are, they need to see a new one cause the current one is not working. The only difference with code is they need to see a psychiatrist for anger issues.

      Please feel free to rage on about this post now.

  9. looks like the bulldog is more of a yappy little chihuahua.

  10. Will this be the Alliance executor that brings down the New Order?! I'm in suspense!

  11. Go and gank Charadrass!

  12. Can`t wait for Part 3. :D


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.