Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Diamond in the Rough, Part 1

Agents of the New Order are many things: Elite warriors, poets, law enforcers, therapists, philosophers, conquerors. They are also explorers. Each Agent searches the vast wasteland of highsec for something exceptional. When they recognize that special, indescribable spark in a miner's eyes, they know they've found a candidate for our next Agent.


As I said, however, highsec is vast and filled with waste. The search for a good player can be a difficult one.


Agent Tisiphone Dira made the trek to Hek, hoping to find someone with promise. She found mattgb instead.


It's a law of mathematics that not everyone we encounter in highsec can be awesome. If a carebear falls short, he can still be sold a mining permit. Tisiphone figured that was about the extent of mattgb's potential. But the carebear insisted that there was more to mattgb than met the eye...


...which is unlikely. Our Agents have perfect vision. They get it from the Code.


Even judging by bot-aspirant standards, mattgb fell short of greatness. "I'm organizing probably 4-5 major corps" may be the most unimpressive threat you can make.


mattgb claimed that he had the backing of every single corp in his employment history, plus all of the alliances currently affiliated with those corps. Caution! Always give your former employer a heads-up before you use them as a reference.


After careful consideration, Tisiphone decided mattgb wasn't ready to become an Agent of the New Order yet. The carebear had a lot of growing up to do.


Tisiphone was encouraged when she encountered JN Alister, who was celebrating his birthday. One year older, this carebear might be a bit more mature.


Our Agent put the AFK birthday boy to the test. Instead of taking the opportunity to confess his crime, JN Alister started making wisecracks. It looked like Tisiphone had a comedian on her hands.


Everyone responds differently to their birthday. Some reflect on how far they've come and where they want to go. Others get jaded and cynical. JN Alister dismissed all highsec law as "rollplaying". The system only existed to keep him down, JN felt.


After dealing with jokers like mattgb and JN Alister all day, some might be inclined to give up on highsec. Then there are the Agents of the New Order, who believe highsec is worth fighting for.

To be continued...

71 comments:

  1. meh definitely made up

    ReplyDelete
  2. James said: Agents of the new order are many things, none are good.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonbears 12:44 and 12:55: You, too, can become part of the solution. Renounce your anonymous fail-troll ways. Meditate on the Code and join something greater than yourselves. To err is human; but do not fill your cargohold with ore and ice. Seek ye instead the mining permit that will fill your bio with joy and happiness.
    Become an Agent today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But then by joining code we would become losers and failures....why would we want to become like ming?

      Delete
    2. Nitetime, to join code would be to join a group group of weak minded fools led by a buffoon with delusions of grandeur and adequacy...

      Delete
    3. You presented the same "argument" last time. Then said "this^^" to your own post last time as well.

      As for "failures".. Have you not heard? The Code Always Wins!!!

      Delete
    4. Now you are showing hot much of a fool you really are nitetime...

      Delete
    5. And you are joining him, asia...

      Delete
    6. stop attributing my posts to others nitetime...... that ...this^^ was a finely crafted artisan this, not your run of the mill rubbish !!!!

      Delete
  4. "Elite warriors, poets, law enforcers, therapists, philosophers, conquerors."
    stop! stop! your killing me with this comedy ....hahahahahah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps you should take a example and start down the road towards poet. Your first step is understanding the difference between "You're" and "You" and learning how to stop capital letters where they are needed.

      Also, miner please calm down.

      Delete
    2. nah i like it the way it is thanks .

      Delete
  5. Guys! Come on! Listen to yourselves! Let us stop this petty bickering and remember why we are all here on this blog! Let us sit by the fire of the Burning freighters of Uedama and bask in the words of James 315 as he tells the tales of the Gallant agents and the Goofuses (Goofi?) with whom they interact.
    Let us stop arguing amongst each other and get back to the true spirit of the Code: Peace and Love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Starting to think note time is nearly as delusional as ming

      Delete
    2. Calm down miner.

      I would be happy to take any beatings you feel the need to dish out so that innocents are not harmed.

      Delete
    3. you would need to undock first minger .(not happening any time soon then )

      Delete
  6. Angry miners rant
    Always anonymous tears
    The Code always wins

    ReplyDelete
  7. really looking forward to the weekend, you guys

    ReplyDelete
  8. Role players are a special kind of creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. it will be less funn once a code agent will get ganked in life, it will make them think i hope

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that you would find most Code agents are nice people IRL with nice families and are good citizens. They are thus not likely to be "ganked" IRL. It is the anonbear anti-gankers who need to worry. RL people don't take too kindly to the threats and sexual comments that the anonbears often make. Try it some time. Oh, wait.. you won't because you can only make those comments behind the Anonymous veil of your favorite blog.

      Delete
    2. On a completely different subject, my name's Galaxy Pig and I live in Tulsa, Oklahoma (west of the river) and I'm always up for meeting other EVE players for drinks! Just mail me in game and we can arrange a pub crawl! :D


      -Oink

      Delete
    3. i don't get it .
      i can't stand code but i would never wish them any real life harm.
      bunch of juveniles wishing real life harm on others .......idiots.

      Delete
    4. Kalynn Shardani, is that you? Stay classy!

      Delete
    5. wow, googling that name yields scary results

      Delete
    6. Alana Charen-TengMay 27, 2015 at 10:09 PM

      I'm a whore

      Delete
    7. Excuse my ignorance, but still being fairly new around here, I feel as though I have an excuse :D

      Who is Kalynn?

      Delete
    8. Kalynn is one of the AG channel moderators. He was especially butthurt over Gorila Vengaza defecting to the New Order:

      1.bp.blogspot.com/-uQOav_JoOVU/VJ3Hi44KdmI/AAAAAAAAdyM/MKsxbSvpg2Y/s1600/A08.png

      Delete
    9. Kalynn is one of the AG channel moderators. He was especially butthurt over Gorila Vengaza defecting to the New Order:

      1.bp.blogspot.com/-uQOav_JoOVU/VJ3Hi44KdmI/AAAAAAAAdyM/MKsxbSvpg2Y/s1600/A08.png

      Delete
  10. As we save highsec
    We save miners from themselves
    And give them purpose

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i disagree but then i always will.

      Delete
    2. As we plague higsec
      we cause much misery to them
      and make little difference

      Delete
    3. It's typically 5-7-5, not 5-8-7. Also, how can we simultaneously cause much misery, but make little difference? Wouldn't causing all that misery be in itself making a difference?

      Delete
    4. the dominoes have fallen like a house of cards...checkmate

      Delete
    5. nope you make people miserable, you do not change their circumstance.

      Delete
    6. @Anon6:49
      Well, of course we change their circumstances! We gank them! They struggle with losing their money, we take it, and then they have a choice: Either they live Code-Compliant, or they quit the game, or they repeat the whole thing over again. I'm amazed at how many miners choose option 3.

      Delete
    7. Anonymous bear,
      Please leave haikus to the Code
      We can do it right

      Delete
    8. "we change their circumstances!"
      nope you change nothing you just yap about it.
      "We gank them!"
      no you don't you just yap about it (others do the ganking)
      "we take it,"
      again you don't take a damn thing ! just yap about it.
      in fact your nothing but yap "mouthpiece"

      Delete
    9. @maria

      "English-language serious haiku poets rarely use 5-7-5 or any other regular syllable count. The syllable count is just about the least important thing in haiku, except that the number of syllables needs to be pretty small. It's the juxtaposition of natural images that's really really important. "

      see your not always right it seems.

      Delete
    10. @nitetime
      “I don’t think counting 5,7,5 syllables is necessary or desirable. To reflect the natural world, and the season, is to reflect what is.” —Gary Snyder"

      you too are not always right .... go figure, code people not being completely correct all the time now isn't that strange.

      Delete
    11. Huh! It's good to learn that about the "serious" English-language haiku poets. However, since we're talking about a game about spaceship combat, which necessarily doesn't leave room for many natural images, I think I'll stick with the 5-7-5 format as a means of imposing structure. If you wish to abandon that format, could you at least try for those nature images instead? It'll help distinguish your haiku from the habitual awful text formatting we see from our usual carebears.

      Delete
    12. @Anon8:03
      Please explain how your comment can be interpreted as anything other than "tears" with such classics as:

      "No it's not!!" "You're lyieng!" "All you do is yap"

      Delete
    13. your attempts at correcting someone was wrong maria and yet you try to spin your way to being right ..... thats precious.

      Delete
    14. no tears "mouthpiece". just facts
      you don't gank ,youd don't take anything from those you don't gank
      so you don't change a thing ,because to do so would require you to do more than just "yap" which is the only thing you do "mr mouthpiece".
      now give your jaw a rest ang go do some more of nothing .
      or you can always cry to me some more i'm loving it ......

      Delete
    15. @Anon5:03
      "Your attempts at correcting someone were wrong", you mean.
      Please stand corrected.

      Delete
    16. @Anon5:08
      You're crying pretty hard there, champ.

      Delete
    17. "You're crying pretty hard there, champ."

      says the "mouthpiece " desperately trying to make us believe he does anything but talk
      keep those whines coming mouthy.

      Delete
    18. "You're lyieng!"

      the infallible "mouthpeice" is not perfect either it seems.
      well how about that :)
      i do believe you mean "lying" please stand corrected.

      Delete
    19. go ahead correct my mistake "mr perfect"

      Delete
    20. @Anon5:26
      Miner, Calm down

      Delete
    21. thought so

      Delete
    22. what ??? no lengthy speech about how perfect and "right" you and code always are "mouthpiece" i am shocked.

      Delete
  11. Oh man. I really hope this ends up as a story where the miner decides to turn over a new leaf- and go on their first gank as an Agent of the New Order! Those stories are always the best!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh man! I really hope this ends up with ming undocking and doing something for a change! I mean he has not done a thing in game for nearly a year. About time for him to undock, get ganked, and then cry about it for the next 3-4 months.
      These stories are the best by far, mings tears are so delicious!

      Delete
  12. Atention Agents:

    LIBERTY is back and loosing mining barges again

    https://zkillboard.com/kill/46771775/

    ReplyDelete
  13. Attention fake ming @ 5:58 and maria,

    You have been found "subhuman" by the New Order of Hitler. It has been deemed that you will be sentenced to die like the filthy dogs you are in accordance to the Final Solution. Now send this filth to the gas chamber, before its disease spreads!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Alana Charen-Teng,

    You admitted to being a whore. Whores are not allowed in New Order of Hitler territory. To the ovens with you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel so socially isolated, because I never undock, and I'm still not on the top 10 douche bag list. Its okay though I have minerbumping blog to spam and pretend I'm really an agent, when all I am is loud mouth wannabee who lives in his parents basement :)

      Delete
    2. Kalynn Shardani, I'm going to have to ask you to "calm down."

      Delete
  15. I'm so bored right now. I just noticed why, I have no cocks in my mouth. Free blowjobs for the next 20 minutes. Don't be shy, I can take up to 2 cocks in both my ass and pussy at the same time, so 4 cocks can be fucking me at the same time! This service is free upto the next 3 hours. Been awhile since I had a good gang bang :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. yeah james 315 you really should censor this fool, ^^

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why should our Supreme Protector remove these tears ffrom the blog he created as a repository for carebear tears?

      -Oink

      Delete
    2. and once again you prove you are bunch of liars.
      "we don't do this for tears" they say .....

      and yet.....

      "the blog he created as a repository for carebear tears?"

      Delete
    3. @Anon4:57
      What you don't understand is that Agents of the New Order are always right.

      Therefore, when we make a contradiction, it is true. It is you whose has the inferior logic, so it is up to you to learn to understand it. Think of it like the Holy Trinity- It is three, but it is also one. This is true, except you may have a hard time with it, because you lack elevated understanding.

      Buying a permit and following the Code can help with this.

      Delete
    4. "from a wordly point of view, there is no mistake
      so great as that of being always right."
      samuel butler

      Delete
  17. Is my entire motivation for being an agent tear collection? No.
    Do I enjoy tears? Of course.
    Is one of the main purposes of this website to chronicle and catalog carebear tears? Duh.

    -Galaxy Pig

    ReplyDelete

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