Thursday, May 14, 2015

The Grace of the Code, Part 1


Nobody expects the New Order. They should, though--we always turn up when we're needed.


Luiz Zirud was mortified when his Amarr Shuttle was ambushed by Agent Tisiphone Dira's Thrasher. Luckily, it was just a shuttle, so no big deal. It was only worth... 1.6 billion isk? Say it ain't so.


But it was so. It was so x 2.


Luiz needed help and a lot of it. Tisiphone jumped into her usual routine, but it soon became all too clear that Luiz wasn't interested. He simply wasn't engaging with the material. It was time for Tisiphone to teach Luiz a special lesson, to make the Code come to life for him.


Tisiphone spoke to Luiz in a way a bot-aspirant could understand. That is to say, she spoke the language of money. Though the killmail plainly indicated that both PLEX were destroyed, Tisiphone offered their safe return. All of a sudden, the disinterested carebear was hanging on her every word. Success!


Even so, there were warning signs ahead. Luiz hardly opened his mouth before the "I'm a new player" excuse came tumbling out. His character was a year and a half old.


Armed with Luiz's API, Tisiphone was able to specifically target the carebear and market specially-tailored products and services to him. When it comes to assisting carebears, privacy is overrated. Data is essential in modern highsec.


In return for the long-disintegrated PLEX, Tisiphone was to receive all of Luiz's ships. However, Luiz didn't know how to use the contract system. As is usually the case, the New Order Agent took time out of her busy day to explain aspects of the game that the tutorial didn't sufficiently cover.


Once Tisiphone had taught him how to create contracts, Luiz prepared to transfer ownership of his Omen. So far, so good. Then the carebear got cold feet. He was beginning to lose faith.


Our hero coached Luiz through his doubts. The Omen successfully made its way into New Order custody.


Luiz was quickly exhausting his willpower. He couldn't stop thinking about the PLEX.


Fortunately, Luiz had just enough strength to transfer the Retriever to Tisiphone. No more illegal mining for that barge.


At this point, rebels and skeptics are probably going to assume that Tisiphone was merely scamming the carebear. Not so. Tisiphone confirmed that Luiz was going to get everything that he had coming to him--and more. An Agent's word is always good. Tisiphone had every intention of showing the carebear the grace of the Code. It was a guarantee. Take it to the bank.


At the last second, something truly shocking was discovered. Luiz had a dark secret in his past that threatened to derail everything. Now he would need to prove himself. Was Luiz Zirud up to the challenge? Would he receive the Code's grace?

To be continued...

86 comments:

  1. "No permit, no ship!"
    A fair and simple motto
    To govern highsec

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Armed with Luiz's API, Tisiphone was able to specifically target the carebear and market specially-tailored products and services to him."

    I tittered horribly here. Golden stuff, Saviour!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I kind of feel bad. Just a little for him, then I realize how stupid he is and my pity goes away. There is no place in EVE for the weak minded. Sorry kids, but people should really learn to crawl before they try to run. Or at least maybe complete the tutorials... learn some game mechanics, use your eyes, stop and take a breath and asses the situation before jumping in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And never never never NEVER! Carry bloody PLEX in a shuttle! And never AFK either. Dummy.

      Delete
    2. Oh yeah... and don't give your API away! Holy Christ on a stick! What a noob.

      Ok... I'm done.

      Delete
    3. I'm afraid Colonel, that Evewho shows up Luiz in his true colours: http://evewho.com/pilot/Luiz%20Zirud

      My oh my oh my.

      Delete
    4. James and his sycophants, scammers every last one of them. Ha well, at least us industrious Panorad residents see through all the New Order scams.

      Delete
    5. Anom @8:21

      For 2B isk, I'll take care of that Panorad problem for you. :D

      Delete
    6. You should not judge yourself so hard Fake Colonel Anon, we certainly don't. All are welcome to embrace the CODE.

      Delete
  4. Well would you look at that. Interesting and very promising.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are? Congratulations for coming out!
      I personally don't care either way, so I'm not sure you will get the reaction your looking for... peoples sexual orientation are of no concern of mine. But then I'm an adult, and you are likely a tween.... so I can see your confusion. Maybe you are just scared? You will figure it out one day.

      Delete
    2. The word "peoples" should be capitalized as it starts a new sentence...

      You code people think you are so high and mighty, but yet you can't even type correctly. Read a damn dictionary... You may learn something, fools.

      -=M=-

      Delete
  5. hahahahhahahahahahahahaha

    I love me some Tisi!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hope the lack of permit doesn't jeopardize his chances of getting his plex back.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm going to spoil Jimmy Boy's fun here. The idiot bought a permit. Waste of time and money. Although he was stupid in transporting 2 plexes in a shuttle, the sociopathic Tisiphone Dira further victimized the player.

    New Order: Scamming People Every Day.

    Sorry, but role-play griefing is still griefing. And someone should warn this guy about not giving out his API to anyone who asks for it willy nilly. No code monkey bot faggot will ever get anything from me, ever. You role-playing dumb fucks can take that as a challenge.

    BM.

    BTW: How's your vitamin D infusion coming along? I hear that Jimmy Boy's weird glowing ass was infected with a butt fungus that's been diminishing its glow. Probably has AIDS by now for all we know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is one seroiusly butthurt miner

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. Wow. Serious tears here. Raging against the New Order on a New Order Blog that was made to show people raging against the New Order.... yup.
      Your doing well lad. Striking a blow for Bot Miners everywhere! I can see them rallying to your flag even as we speak.

      Delete
  8. Our regularly scheduled trolling will be back after this short break. Any body that dumb deserves to be ganked and scammed I mean damn I have never scammed anybody but if I found a sucker like Luiz I would take them for every thing they had.

    And now back to our scheduled trolling.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The Colonel, you have admitted twice in this thread that you are gay. Homosexuality is not permitted by the New order of Hitler!

    For your crimes against humanity you will skip the gas chamber and be thrown into the ovens to burn the "subhuman" out of you!

    Take "it" away!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thats one seriously butthurt -=M=- anon

    ReplyDelete
  11. "Now he would need to prove himself. Was Luiz Zirud up to the challenge? Would he receive the Code's grace?"

    Damn straight! Only the "Bonus Room" can solve this issue.

    I can't wait.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Antigankers failed to stop another gank

    ReplyDelete
  13. meh seems made up

    ReplyDelete
  14. would yawn again. something something carebear, something something permit.

    same spin page, same spin author.

    oh well, new AT coming and .... no CODE. you will not be missed.

    plus since its all quiet - I will have a good laugh that the savior will not be stamping his face into the alliance logo (like a bad penny). because it was rejected. code wins, only when its published.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CODE. Was undefeated at the last AT. No need to do another.

      Delete
    2. CODE. was more than defeated, they ran for the hills without even firing a shot. That is why CCP banned them from all future tournaments. Regardless of what you think or say, the EvE Online Community knows the truth and no amount of spin and lies will ever change that. That's when Dick Job Throbber exploded on the forums trying to confirm everything. LOL. Boy you code bot monkey faggots have short memories.

      Delete
    3. The CODE ALWAYS loses, always.

      CODE: Chicken Out, Deny Everything.

      Good to see some things haven't changed.

      Delete
    4. Code didn't run at all. We simply did what we always do: Win.
      And as you testify to with your words: You haven't forgotten our victory; and nobody ever will. It is indelibly burned into the minds of every citizen of New Eden with the message: "The Code ALWAYS wins!!!! ALWAYS!!!!"

      Delete
    5. Funny you say we didn't fire a shot. I'm pretty sure we fired enough shots to destroy a whole AT team's line-up. How ironic that you forgot about that already, yet accused us of having short memories.

      Delete
    6. yes ideed ccp perma bans all AT winners didn't you know ?

      Delete
    7. and listen to the mouthpiece who has not fired a single shot since june 2014 talking about winning.
      you know i think he actually believes the bilge he spouts lol

      Delete
    8. No, not all of them. Only the ones who win so thoroughly and one-sidedly that they'd break the AT system for everyone else if they were to compete again. It was nice of CCP to acknowledge how devastating our victory over Clockwork Pineapple was, and to let the rest of the teams compete for Second Place in future tournaments. As for us, we've won our victory (as we always do), and can happily go back to enforcing the Law in highsec.

      Delete
    9. keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.

      Delete
    10. The only numbers that mean anything are on CODE. kill board.

      Destroyed: 13.47 Trillion ISK
      Lost:1.42Trillion ISK
      EFF%: 90.5

      These number don't include all the other agents that are not official part of the CODE alliance... so you miners & miner lovers may try to spin whatever story you want, but numbers don't lie.

      Delete
    11. does it show that almost all are unarmed defenceless barges or freighters?
      so in codes case then umbers really do not matter at all.

      Delete
    12. Keep crying little carebear! All your killboard shows is mining barge losses! Also mining barges have a drone bay. Yes they are armed, you just choose not to arm or use it. Not our fault.

      We also have a bunch of mission runners on our killboard. They have both drones and guns!

      We await your next tear filled post!

      Delete
    13. You won by ganking a freighter that was carrying ships for Clockwork Orange? I don't think so.

      @Ming: The reason why we haven't forgotten the fiasco caused by CODE was because CODE became the laughing stock of New Eden. You can gank all you want, but we're still laughing at you because that's all you can do: Gank and Scam.

      @Maria: Do you honestly believe that? The reason why CCP banned CODE was because CCP tried to contact the fleet organizers and they didn't even respond. That and CODE's actions disrupted the AT. Bad move.

      We know the truth and there is nothing that you can do to change it.

      CODE: Chicken Out, Deny Everything. The Islamic Terrorists of Highsec.

      Maybe James 315 should change his name to the Prophet Mohammad. It would be more appropriate. And CODE should change it's name to ISIS because you guys act like ISIS.

      Delete
    14. Almost forgot. If CODE won such a glorious victory, then tell me why Loyalanon was roaming lowsec for something like 2 months with a CODE fleet to try to regain whatever little respect CODE lost from that fiasco?

      Delete
    15. again a code flunky assumes my derision is tears.
      you wish they were tears mate lol

      Delete
    16. We also have a bunch of mission runners on our killboard. They have both drones and guns!

      boasting about killing pve fit ships with pvp fit ships ha ha ha thats funny !!!!

      Delete
    17. code does not do this stuff for tears at all.

      Asia LeighMay 15, 2015 at 11:25 PM

      Glorious Tears :D

      liars.

      Delete
    18. We don't do it just for the the tears. We consider the tears the icing on the cake!

      Delete
    19. By the way, its sooooo easy to troll you morons :D Carebears just make it too easy!

      Delete
    20. @ anom 11:53

      You said we don't attack unarmed ships. I provided you 2 pieces of evidence that we do attack armed ships. Just because some idiots decide to fail fit them, or use them to their fullest potential is not my problem....

      Delete
    21. You said we don't attack unarmed ships.
      what??
      are you smoking something illegal ?
      you moron.

      Delete
    22. Don't get mad because we have a better KB then you! Now would you like to buy a mining permit? For only 10m isk it affords 365 days of protection provided you remain code compliant!

      Delete
    23. you gottta love the comedy value of someone who says anom instead of anon.
      then instead of than, and tries to sound all clever whilst doing it LOL.

      Delete
    24. Hey idiot, its called a typo. Google it, as you don't seem to know what it is.....

      Delete
    25. an occasional typo i can accept but considering you and your clowns consider themselves perfect,it's hilarious to see you trying to talk down to people.
      now stop crying LOL

      Delete
  15. @Asia LeighMay 14, 2015 at 9:33 PM
    Anom @8:21

    "For 2B isk, I'll take care of that Panorad problem for you. :D"

    Us Panoradians thought you Codie boys/girls worshipped some fictional char in a spaceship blowing up spaceship game and worked for free. So trying to charge me 2 billion for a visit is outrageous. You did not even try to sell me a permit.

    We Panoradians only work for iskies and we ignore doorstep sellers, looks like you guys and girlies are shit out of look yet again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. do you need iskies for your girlies and toonies so you can get dank dessies, 7o m8?

      :twitch:

      Delete
    2. Well I'm under the assumption (which is probably correct) that you don't even live there. You are either misdirecting us to get enforcement out of your system, or someone that lives there pissed you off and you want revenge.

      The New Order are not mercenaries, but some individuals are. I was offering my services as a neutral solo mercenary to help you with your problem!

      Delete
    3. your services to do what asia ?

      blow up a 15 day old toon like this one

      https://zkillboard.com/kill/46680090/

      i am soooooo impressed
      you must have merc contracts coming out of your ears LMAO !!

      Delete
    4. I killed a war target mining in an industrial (Really people still mine in industrials?) What does this have to do with anything?

      Delete
  16. @Chocolate Mooses
    We have not started with the New Order yet, this is just a prelude and a bit of a laugh. Having said that, we Panoradians are working industriously towards more content creation. You guys have no clue about who or what we represent or more importantly what we have planned.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahhahaha :)

      Classic :)

      Bingo!

      Delete
    2. When your rebellion is ready, please announce it on the official forums in C&P.

      Delete
    3. Well he's right about us having never heard of them...

      Also, BINGO!


      -Galaxy Pig

      Delete
    4. I was there last night. It's dead. There is no rebellion. There is no movement. It's just pathetic "noise" coming from a scrub.

      Delete
    5. And yet none of the fools from AG still can't stop us... 7 freighters last night... Tsk, Tsk! You rebels should get good first before running your mouths

      Delete
    6. @Anon 6.23 pm.
      We know who comes and goes from Panorad, Also we are sure we said it was non compliance, hence the posts on C&P. Please anon get your facts right before you blurt out scrub, that was rather rude we do not expect much else from a CODE monkey. @Asia Leigh we are not affiliated with AG in any way shape or form but that gives us a great idea. Thank you for bringing that to our attention!
      Kind regards from the Free Systems of Panorad.

      Delete
    7. @Anon7:12
      Ahahahahaha
      Please ally yourselves with Anti-ganking.
      Please do this.

      Delete
    8. In before the one guy responsible for all the Panorad comments joins Code out of sheer disgust with AG.

      Delete
    9. minger why do you care who they join your not going to fight them anyway.

      Delete
    10. Ming does not fight, not with guns or ships anyway. His only weapons are his mouth, granted he does have lots of practice running it.
      Good thing his killboard speaks for itself. Nearly a year with no activity! You go ming, i bet you can make 2 years easy with no activity.

      Delete
    11. As a New Order Diplomat, it is my responsibility to bait and suppress carebears through my superior diction and use of the written word, which all can agree, is mightier than any sword.

      Still, though, the sword does indeed remain a weapon that is available to me, which I shall use again at the time of my choosing. But that will happen when I choose, and not before. Part of the prerequisite for me retaining the sword, is that I will have to know which carebears I am speaking, so that they can prove that their killboard has greater success than mine.

      Since the carebears in question do not have killboards at all, I assume we will be waiting a very long time until I return to Slaughter miners wholesale as I did in the days of old.

      Delete
    12. Npe, they have loss-boards :D

      Delete
    13. no wonder the reputation of you muppets is terrible old minger there is your diplo.
      Since the carebears in question do not have killboards at all,
      more unfounded assumptions from the chief noise maker minger and his little hanger on asia the brown nose.
      you two are quite the double act it seems, though who has the brownest nose would be a close run thing.

      Delete
    14. I assume we will be waiting a very long time until I return to Slaughter miners wholesale as I did in the days of old.

      minger i just checked your killboards, and according to them you have exactly 1 mining barge and 9 industrials hardly the "wholesale slaughter" your boasting of is it?
      you have 1,571 killmails you are on(which actually sounds quite impressive) until you see you can only claim 20 as solo kills. and i went all the way back to dec 09 2011 too by the way.

      now i am well aware that to get on a killmail i only need to have the victim targetted with a disruptor or scram or even just ewar, to get on the km i don't have to actually do any damage, so you can have a million kills on your kb and still not actually be a very good pvp'er, but then i'm not bragging of "wholesale slaughter" am i ?

      the man who must brag for himself
      knows that no one else will.

      https://zkillboard.com/character/2012975004/stats/

      Delete
    15. Oh! So now my kills aren't good enough for the insipid miner who has zero kills.

      I just laugh at you, since you are still unable to match me in PVP. The killboards have spoken.

      Delete
    16. lmao ok mr "wholesale slaughter "

      Delete
    17. and once again i remind ming "the terrible" i'm not the one bragging of my pvp prowess.

      Delete
    18. Piece of advice, Don't rag on someones killboard unless you have one yourself and are willing to share. Otherwise we just treat that argument as nothing but hot air >.>

      Delete
    19. i think i'll ignore any advice from ming's sidekick ,
      and the hot air is coming from ol "ming the merciless " over there LOL
      "wholesale slaughter " lmao!!!!

      Delete
    20. No, "Wholesale slaughter" is what happens every time i log in :D

      Delete
    21. Also, "Wholesale slaughter" happens every time a carebear attempts to use a word containing more than five letters.

      badum bum

      Delete
    22. hahaha very funny,about as humorous as your attempts to portray yourself as a pvp'er. or even a diplomat mr wordsmith.....i think not .
      so once again you revert back to type and hit the "good ol mockery button"
      at least thats always going to be there for you.
      you and "wholesale slaughter " in the same sentence......that sir is comedy gold right there LMAO.

      @asia please get your proboscis out of your best friends butt it's making it hard for him to walk (and be serious obviously).
      i'm sure he will give you the pat on the head you seek sooner or later.

      Delete
  17. @ Anon 12.37
    Hmm.. Yes your right you do need to read C&P properly, unfortunately your agent senses are dulled maybe you should brighten up your day and donate another few billion to the useless/defunct CODE spy network.

    ReplyDelete

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