Monday, September 5, 2016

Elite Highsec Tutorial


Do you know Chapo Muerte? If you're a non-compliant freighter pilot, you'll probably meet her someday soon. She's an Agent of the New Order and she's taking the ganking world by storm.


According to zKillboard's most recent weekly rankings, Chapo is the number one PvP'er in the entire game--beating out fellow CODE. member Winnie Po0h. During her first two weeks in EVE, Chapo participated in the destruction of more than 80 freighters. She's certainly making her presence felt in Uedama. A presence the system hasn't felt since...


But sheer gank efficiency is not the only measure by which the New Order values its Agents. Courtesy, decency, generosity, and humanity are treasured among our Agents--despite being exceedingly common among them. When Chapo heard that HikariLight Dallocort lost a fail-fit Retriever, she immediately stepped in to help.


Chapo's compassion for the miner was palpable. HikariLight immediately felt at ease with her.


From the outset, Chapo reassured HikariLight that she wouldn't push her values or her agenda on the miner. HikariLight, on the other hand, was aggressive in espousing her theme park point of view.


The miner was laboring under an incorrect assumption about the game. As we know, most territorial claims in EVE do not involve the in-game sovereignty mechanic. Also, CodeSov.


With the patience of a saint, Chapo dispensed with the myth about gankers negatively affecting player retention rates.


Though CCP doesn't officially recognize them as an in-game resource, Agents of the New Order are virtually part of the tutorial these days. An essential part. At a moment's notice, Chapo was ready to give HikariLight a link to the 8 Golden Rules for EVE Online, posted on the forums by none other than CCP Phantom himself.

As our more seasoned readers will recall, CCP Phantom used the "no ranting" rule as an excuse to lock my groundbreaking Manifesto and Manifesto II threads, which formed much of the ideological basis of the Code. It's a sign of how far we've come that now Phantom has posted a thread which validates so much of what I've been saying all along. Cheers!


Highsec miners are rarely dangerous, but they're most volatile when cornered. HikariLight had been disarmed of all her nonsense. She was forced to confront the truth. And she didn't like it.


Chapo promised that she wouldn't promote an agenda or force her beliefs onto the miner. She kept that promise. Instead, Chapo merely informed her of the truth. She basically fact-checked the miner.


In a moment of supreme hypocrisy, HikariLight accused me of being a tyrant. This from the miner felt entitled to do whatever she wanted, who refused to obey any rules, and who wouldn't even consider the wants or needs of anyone else in highsec. My friends, that is a tyrant.


Chapo supplied the miner with some additional facts, but HikariLight wouldn't listen. Along with the CCP-endorsed Golden Rules, she'd been given a golden opportunity to buy a mining permit. She didn't care; it was as if she didn't want to succeed in highsec. Nevertheless, Chapo Muerte had done her part. The miner failed her teacher and herself. Even so, as long as she remains in highsec, she'll have more opportunities to redeem herself.

29 comments:

  1. Ahhh, Chapo Muerte....

    She gets right to the heart of the matter, and leaves the carebears reeling in confusion, doubt and self-loathing.

    You have to prepare the ground for conversion; it's when the miner is at his lowest ebb that the soil is ripe for sowing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hope loyalanon gets rebanned real soon tm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same as here, impotent shitposting so we can all laugh 'with' them.



      XD

      Delete
  3. Loyal anon is probably too dumb to cover his own tracks too. He got a New IP address but is just too addicted to ganking miners/freighters that he didn't do a very good job hiding his tracks. Zkill is everything to him. Zkill is life bra.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ...and, Anons, your contribution to content creation in EVE is...what, exactly?

    ReplyDelete
  5. This Chapo Muerte sounds like a cool dude who doesnt afraid of anything!!!!1

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "like a cool dude who doesnt afraid of anything!!!!" ™

      A story for the grandkids for sure!

      Delete
    2. I stopped reading at "a illiterate"

      XD XD XDxdddddddddddddd

      Delete
    3. That's some downsy fail, ag.

      Delete
  6. Looks like loyal is back. Wow. Move on with your life, bro.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not sure on what you are referring to. but stay mad XD

      Delete
    2. If it walks like loyal and quacks like loyal, it's loyal.

      Delete
    3. I dont play eve anymore friend. However im glad someone is aspiring to reach greatness

      Delete
  7. The AG salt is stronk!

    Praise James and his Holy Warriors!

    ReplyDelete
  8. but where oh where is Ming?

    ReplyDelete
  9. I heard there was an elite spai ganker called El Plebo who is coming for the crown

    ReplyDelete
  10. from the looks of the tears in the comments it sounds like a lot of gankers are salty over the return of James's right hand ganker CODIES CRYING

    ReplyDelete
  11. Funny how these impotent AG losers worship Zopiclone, when he killed billions worth of carebear assets before his theft...they're like battered wives.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. spoiler alert, he's still ganking on an alt
      XD

      Delete
    2. I hear Zopiclone and loyalanon are best friends and next door neighbors in real life.

      Delete
    3. Dom try to spread out your anon and Dom posts a bit further apart to give it the full Anon authenticity. By the way you are not even a real ganker so your words are meaningless on these forums.

      LvG

      Delete
    4. Hi fake LvG

      The real one sends his regards, but hey..
      They say having a parody of yourself is the best form of flattery your enemy can give you :D

      Thanks for proving that once again

      Delete
    5. loyal and zopi could never be neighbours unless they both had cancer

      Delete
  12. I bet the carebears have already flooded CCP with tear filled petitions.

    Wait till our CCP guy tells them to 'get a permit, or get rekt!'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @11:38, no you're Anon
      Come back when you grow a pair :D

      Delete
  13. Why do you bears keep posting anonymous insults at your own failures. YOU keep failing not CODE. Just admit it and post a reply like a man. Not some chardonay sipping hipster miner

    ReplyDelete

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