Saturday, September 3, 2016

The Lost Alt

Many dream of paradise. Few take action to create it. They are called Agents of the New Order.

Does a ship like this one belong in a perfect highsec? Agent Alexander Kirenski didn't think so, so he removed it.
Tony Web > Was on eve for six years before I got sick ... staring new ....
Alexander Kirenski > Well then, you should know all about the Code
Tony Web > you gave no warning pretty low
Tony Web > my last toon would have kicked your ugly ass
The Maller pilot, Tony Web, complained in Ghesis local. He managed to invent a new twist on an old miner cliché: I have a powerful but unsubscribed alt.
Alexander Kirenski > you've played for 6 years that's warning enough. and please keep local clean of all rudeness
Tony Web > why dont you try that in low sec? afraid?
Tony Web > rude LOL
Tony Web > dork
Tony offered no explanation for why he no longer had access to his impressive former character. He deflected by trying to get our Agent to go to lowsec. Nice try!
Alexander Kirenski > Nope, in low-sec theres no need for enforcing James 315's vision. He wants a Better Hi-sec
Tony Web > better for who lol
Alexander Kirenski > No better for all, Bot-aspiriancy needs to be eradicated, as well as HORRIBLE fit "mining" ships such as yours
Tony Web > hey man it works for my skills ... but you wouldnt know that would you?
Alexander was critical of Tony's mining Maller fit. But Tony presented himself as an expert on the subject. He'd used the horrible fit because he knew something Alexander didn't.
Alexander Kirenski > oh i can imagine, it's just that I don't care, if you want to mine, use the mining frigate
Tony Web > piss off
Tony Web > you dont know lack fella
Tony Web > jack
Tony Web > picking on helpless nubees
Tony Web > brave warrior
Alexander Kirenski > nor do I care to know Jack, I know the Code, and that's all that matters
Despite claiming to have played EVE for six years, Tony considered himself a "helpless newbie". If he wanted to go that route, maybe he shouldn't have spoken up about his secret past.
Tony Web > sounds like a politician..... of eve lol
Alexander Kirenski > ^^ your a neewb?
Alexander Kirenski > *youre?
Tony Web > now i am
Tony Web > broke lol
Tony Web > tiny iskies
Tony Web > from 45 billion to 10m
For some reason, Tony offered additional information about his former character: He'd amassed a fortune of 45 billion isk. All of it was inaccessible now. Perhaps Tony was banned for botting and/or RMT? In any case, he was down to 10 million isk. Plenty for a permit, though.
Alexander Kirenski > do I need a tiny violin?
Tony Web > shows me what kind of guy you really are.... its ok
Alexander Kirenski > This is Eve friend, don't undock in anything you can't afford to lose
Tony Web > ah ....not my
Tony needed help--that much was obvious. Alexander extended the hand of friendship, which came with some good advice at no extra charge. Tony rejected it. And carebears wonder why they have no friends.
Alexander Kirenski > your first and only warning you should need is when someone like me pops into local.... my name appears right on top of the list and i'm -10 so I'm all sorts of red flashey
Tony Web > like i said go to low or null chicken breath
Alexander Kirenski > Miner calm down
Tony Web > not a miner by trade lol
Alexander Kirenski > Kill: Tony Web (Maller) makes you a Miner
Although Tony spent all of his time mining in highsec, he did not consider himself a miner. He still identified with his mysterious former character.
Tony Web > you are quite ignorant
Tony Web > if i was a miner would i fly a ship like that?
Alexander Kirenski > EP-S Gaussian Scoped Mining Laser are these not Mining Lasers?
Alexander Kirenski > what are they if not mining lasers, tear shooters?
Tony Web > haha
Tony denied that his Maller was a mining ship. Apparently he forgot about killmails; Alexander happily linked the kill in local so everyone could see its fit. Tony couldn't do anything but sport a Veldspar-eating grin. He knew he'd been caught.
Brant Deninard > such fit should not exist...
Alexander Kirenski > it doesnt anymore
Busty Lust > omg
Tony Web > hey it was working....hehe
Tony Web > any one of you generous miners can offer me some isk for a real
Busty Lust > tony you really need to learn to fit ships correctly, go look on batteclinic or get evemon or something
Random onlookers in local couldn't help but click on the killmail out of curiosity. They were stunned by the Maller fit.
Brant Deninard > NEWS FLASH! Venture.
Tony Web > all of the experts coming out of the woodwork
Tony Web > skills are another thing girls
Tony Web > 5 days on
Busty Lust > ill tell you aa decent fir, skiff 2 t2 inv fields 2 large shield boosters 1 t2 mining laser 3 t2 mining upgrades and 2 em shield rigs
Tony Web > cant believe this
Tony still refused to accept any advice. He didn't have any good excuses for his Maller fit, so he prepared to offer up a bad one:
Alexander Kirenski > there are 3 ventures for sale in Dresi, for get this, the low low price of 350,000 isk
Tony Web > i am training for combat... getit
Tony Web > like i said ... not a real miner
Tony Web > i know about all of the lovely ships
Tony Web > you guys try an see how far you can train i five days
Tony wouldn't use an actual mining ship because he wasn't a "real miner". Since he was a combat pilot, he would only use a combat ship for mining.
Busty Lust > im trying to help you, whats with the attitude... so why you half assed fitted that ship for mining with a cargo scanner of all thingss. if you want to learn, listen, if not enjoy getting killed time and time again,
Busty Lust > fool
Tony Web > so thanks again Alex
Alexander Kirenski > yup yup, i imagine i'll be seeing you around
Sensing that he was on the losing side of the argument, Tony waved goodbye. Everything that had transpired only pushed more people to the New Order's way of thinking. The Code won the day, as it always does.


  1. A classic example of carebear lies, hypocrisy, and downright stupidity.

    Well done Agent Alexander, for removing this abomination from highsec.

  2. WTF? He has new char that is not a miner so he fits cruiser to do mining instead of using venture. He prolly MINED faster in it than he would in venture, but on the other hand he had to constantly offload his cargo xD

    What is the point anyway? Venture is dirt cheap, and you even get one "for free" after doing 1 or 2 industry career missions...

    "EP-S Gaussian Scoped Mining Laser" <- Clearly this is Rapid Heavy Missile Launcher II :P

    1. The point is I love having my shit pushed in by your cock, darkestkhan. I loved it the other day when you kissed me, hard, and were really manly with me. I like a bit of pain you know?

  3. According to EVE Search and the forums, a character going by the name of Tony Web was around in 2013, but at some point was biomassed.

    His contributions to the forums were principally in the form of empty quoting, and a solitary but underwhelming comment in the Incarna 'debate'. Odd.

    I've a feeling there's a story here. Perhaps Mr Web could be persuaded to share it? His current Corp, of which he's the CEO, contains one other character; a 'Benjamin Net'. Web. Net.. Get it?

    Are they part of a deadly duo of ships which, like the 2 halves of a spy's cypher, only yield up their powerful secret when unleashed together?

    It has me puzzled, I can tell you!

  4. wow antigankers are failing hard AGAIN

    1. Wolf soprano failing incredibly hard right now smart bombing padding his zkill. <3 zkill is life!

    2. Well he got you worked up.

      Wolf wins! Always!

    3. Both might have to take some Ritalin!

      Ritalin is easy and wins! Always and shit!

    4. You sound mad brah, why do you lie for. You should have a tissue, then let me know when your old enough to play eve brah its 13+

      EULA - 2 - C - 1

      if you establish an Account, you represent that you are an adult thirteen (13) years of age or older and are either accepting the EULA on behalf of yourself or on behalf of your child, in which latter case you agree to the EULA with regard to your child and represent that you are also personally bound by the EULA.

      peace out nub

  5. Still relevant

    1. rswfire, Erotic 1, Sabriz Adoudel, Zappity... and all on the very first page. Ah.. those were the days, my friend.

  6. "Tony couldn't do anything but sport a Veldspar-eating grin"


  7. the dreaded "but it works for me" statement...


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