Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Never Tempt an Agent

There are moments in our lives when we're faced with a clear choice between behaving like a Gallant and behaving like a Goofus. A highsec miner named 3aragka Kocmoca recently had one of those moments.


3aragka could've welcomed Agent Kalorned to the system. She could've set a good example for the rest of the system's residents by purchasing a permit. Instead, she tried to impress her fellow miners by rebelling against the Code.


3aragka's crime had consequences. Emboldened by her example, Jordarish chose to speak against the New Order, too. Though Jordarish was responsible for his own behavior, there's no question that 3aragka led him astray.


Though the Russian miner wasn't fluent in English, she was certainly fluent in highsec miner clich├ęs. She repeatedly taunted our hero and encouraged others to do likewise.


Lamely, Jordarish docked up. He admitted that his mining operations had been shut down for the time being, but he claimed he had "plenty in station to do anyways." Now we know why the carebears wanted so badly for CCP to implement walking in stations.


Rebellious miners sometimes challenge our Agents to take action against them. They think that they can control our Agents with their jeers. They're wrong. It doesn't work that way and never has. As it is written in the Code: "Your mining operations are entirely at my mercy. If I feel like stopping you from mining, I will; if not, I won't."


Code enforcement actions take place entirely at the discretion of our Agents. They are under no obligation to take action against a particular miner at any given time. That being said, however...


...It is never wise to tempt an Agent.


3aragka had drawn so much attention to herself. Was it any surprise that her Mackinaw--despite being semi-tanked--met its destruction at the hands of The New Order Gamis Affiliates?


The miner immediately fired off an angry EVEmail. Google Translate had a rough time with it, but it apparently continued the "Yankee go home" theme.


3aragka's fellow Russians (possibly her alts) were greatly displeased that our Agents answered the challenge of her taunts.


The miner made no effort to conceal her darkest, most depraved fantasies. (Incidentally, Agent Kalorned remains in excellent health to this day.)


It would've been a great time for the Russians to buy mining permits. Sadly, the opportunity was allowed to pass.

And as for Jordarish, the miner who had been led astray?


Our Agents eventually caught up with him, too. The justice of the Code never fails.

25 comments:

  1. Hisec crybears are the nastiest creatures known to man.

    Russian crybears are lulzy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. wow antigankers are failing in all regions of new eden!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That was the shortest headline ever about chapo muerte
    Surely loyal anons new alt deserves more headline time than to be hurried by this trash story
    But its ok to hide him from CCP because he is too dumb to do it himself
    But how do you hide a never not shitposter from his captive audience
    It will be fun to watch
    Hide him better than you hid erotica this time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. wolfie really upset you at one point in time didnt he?

      Delete
    2. You know it. 304 is one butthurt hisec shitterbot.

      Delete
    3. He totally blew up my Ibis once

      Delete
  4. But where oh where is Ming?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Comedy gold right here ...."Google Translate had a rough time with it, but it apparently continued the "Yankee go home" theme."

    LOL

    ReplyDelete
  6. https://zkillboard.com/kill/55932057/

    Welcome back loyal anon. Your 3 alts are beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And there's absolutely nothing you can do about it ag.

      Get a permit!
      Or get rekt!

      Delete
    2. Yes fuck C C P they c a N t do s h I t

      Delete
  7. Damn man, the desperation of AG jumping on here trying desperately to hope that ccp reads this blog ( of course they do, they need us for content) and will ban wolf is just sad!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it sounds like some codies are abit mad hes back also

      Delete
  8. Wait loyals back .....time to resub for me then

    ReplyDelete
  9. pussy yankee?

    is she a good pvp pilot? Russians are always so angry!

    ReplyDelete
  10. It still cracks me up all the tough talking anonymous posters .....must be russian

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am going to resub and rob you loyal anon ......i want to be just like zopiclone

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Will that include the incredible amount of kills he added to our kill board? Say what you want about zopi but he enforced the CODE well.

      Delete
  12. Why would i do that he gave out ships derr ...stay anonymous you will never be me

    ReplyDelete
  13. LOL stay anonymous pussy cat ...it suits you better

    ReplyDelete
  14. You know you have made an impact when people pretend to post things as you ....stick with anonymous as a post header ....

    ReplyDelete
  15. I loved Zopiclone ....he was a hero to us .....sadly our best story contributor left us ....with a small amount of isk .....karmic balance I suppose

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ritalin. Ritalin is easy!

    ReplyDelete

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