Monday, March 12, 2018

The German Legions, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Sigrid Freud performed a routine gank on an obnoxious, unlicensed Mackinaw. A few hours later, she began to receive threats from FlashGordon13, who had a massive nullsec army at his command. The miner would unleash them against the mighty CODE. alliance if he didn't get reimbursed before his timer reached zero.
FlashGordon13 > war?
FlashGordon13 > 700mil?
FlashGordon13 > yes or no
The answer, of course, would be no. It had to be. Agent Sigrid fully reviewed the circumstances of the gank and could find no basis for reimbursing FlashGordon13's loss.
FlashGordon13 > you send now to me or war
FlashGordon13 > midron klinker your ceo is e friend of me and when i beginn the wae you were in the code aliance
Sigrid Freud > Excellent, let's bring Mildron in here
FlashGordon13 > 4000 members on the way to the high sec :D
Sigrid Freud > Oh noes
As for the threats, they had no influence on Sigrid. Agents of the New Order cannot be bought or intimidated. And they never negotiate with bot-aspirants--except to get more money from them.
FlashGordon13 > send in 1 minute the money or its war
Sigrid Freud > I am still waiting for you to buy your mining permit
FlashGordon13 > okey in 5 miutes we start the war good luck
Sigrid Freud > You said that 5 minutes ago
FlashGordon13 > 5 miutes the contdown starts now
FlashGordon13 was surprised to see that he couldn't frighten our Agent with his army of 4,000 of nullsec's finest. I mean, he could let them loose at any moment. Sensing that he was losing his leverage, FlashGordon13 could only think to reset the clock a few times and try again.
Sigrid Freud > Now, let's talk about your violations of the New Halaima Code of Conduct
Sigrid Freud > First, you were mining without a permit
Sigrid Freud > Second, you mackinaw fit was a crime against eve
Sigrid Freud > Third Ore Strip miners are prohibited under the Code
FlashGordon13 > 3 minutes we make a war
Sigrid Freud > Fourth you were AFK
Sigrid Freud > Fifth you did not great me with a GF after we engaged in PVP.
Sigrid sat patiently through all the miner's bluff and bluster. Now it was time to cut out all the nonsense and get real. She laid down the law.
Sigrid Freud > These are the crimes you have comitted
Sigrid Freud > How do you plead
Sigrid Freud > ?
FlashGordon13 > 700 mil or war
Sigrid Freud > First you need to answer to the charges against you.
FlashGordon13 > war or not war??
Before Sigrid could even think about helping FlashGordon13, he'd need to confess his crimes and throw himself upon the mercy of the Code. He was reluctant to do so.
FlashGordon13 > im for war its very funny to shoot the code very small
Sigrid Freud > if you keep threatening us with annhilation from nullsec
Sigrid Freud > I will have to impose a penalty
FlashGordon13 > okey 1 minutes we start he war
FlashGordon13 > good fight
Apparently FlashGordon13 hadn't realized just how much the ground had shifted beneath his feet. There was no chance of getting reimbursed for his Mackinaw now. And as for his divisions of German troops, they existed only on paper.
Sigrid Freud > I am going to have to put you on the red pen list
Sigrid Freud > You mining permit is now 30 mil
FlashGordon13 > bye the war starts
FlashGordon13 > bye
Sigrid Freud > And who will be warring against us again?
Sigrid Freud > You never did say.
FlashGordon13 > bye
The miner gritted his teeth and closed the convo. Only violence could resolve this dispute.
EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Itamo
Ilithyia Borgia > We heard your powerful friends from nullsec are coming for us
FlashGordon13 > pussy
Ilithyia Borgia > Miner calm down
FlashGordon13 > come out and fight pussy
Just as FlashGordon13 was wrapping up his convo with Agent Sigrid, another Agent spotted the miner in local one system over.
FlashGordon13 > come out
FlashGordon13 > come pussy
Mal Warre > Language miner!
Ilithyia Borgia > We were discussing you mining permit FlashGordon13
At first, the miner was furious to find himself being mocked in local chat. But then he realized that this might actually present him with an opportunity. Sigrid had refused to pay up, but maybe Agent Ilithyia Borgia would see things differently. He sent her an invite to a private convo.
FlashGordon13 > can you speak german
Ilithyia Borgia > No
FlashGordon13 > google translate
Ilithyia Borgia > No
This time, FlashGordon13 planned to hold the negotiations on his own turf, in his own language. Ilithyia flatly refused. If anything, this Agent was even more stubborn.
Ilithyia Borgia > So how much is peace worth to you
FlashGordon13 > we beginn with 4000 members war vs, code or teh code give me 700 mil for our losed ship
Ilithyia Borgia > no, How much are you willing to pay for your ransom
FlashGordon13 > bye we make a war
FlashGordon13 > german angels and other corps
FlashGordon13 > we see us in the war pussy
FlashGordon13 once again attempted to extract his reimbursement isk at the point of 4,000 bayonets. Ilithyia brushed them all aside. That's the power of the Code. So that was it. There would be war, bloodshed, an extraordinary fire of--

As this story went to print, Agent Sigrid sent me an update:

"It seems the Teutonic Hordes of Nullsec didn't get the memo. No massive war has materialized. For now highsec remains safe from the revenge of FlashGordon13.

I've contacted him numerous times, but no response."
Peace in our time, and we didn't even need to give anything away. Not bad for a day's diplomacy.


  1. Alas, the barbarian hordes did not emerge.

  2. I hope they won't lay siege to Halaima.

  3. wow just wow antigankers are failing so hard right now.
    never forget shardani

  4. O thank goodness for that!

    I was in the process of researching other games to play. The thought of a 4000 gothic horde from nullsec coming after me was keeping me up at night....

  5. Such aplomb from our Agents. And FlashGordon13; what a feather duster..

    Keep up the good work, and All Hail James 315 and the New Halaima Code of Conduct!

  6. I love how every story on this blog has a happy ending, it must be because The Code always wins.

  7. Told ya these Germans are just nihilists Dude. Nothing to be afraid of.

    1. Thank you Walter!

    2. No, that's just a trait of your average carebear.

  8. Thank you for averting this Nullbear threat! And all of you who did not participate in the defence of HiSec this time, I recommend you join New Order Logistics, we daily defend HiSec from all types of Miners and Bears.

    1. And, NOL is recruiting!




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