Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 39

Previously, on MinerBumping... Mission Ready Mining sank into the muck of a conspiracy dreamland--inspired by rumors of collusion between The Marmite Collective and the mighty CODE. alliance. As our Agents worked to bring happiness to the Gelhan system, they were met by a strange traveler from afar. His name was HoleySheet1, and he brought with him the most extraordinary news.

Agent Kalorned gently mocked the crazy conspiracy theories that were preoccupying the miners of Gelhan. HoleySheet1, it seemed, had one to blow them all out of the water.

Kalorned was stunned. Was this gentleman saying what it sounded like he was saying?

Unless our Agent was misunderstanding something, it appeared as though HoleySheet1 was accusing CCP of a sinister conspiracy--one on a massive scale. If true, it would make the CCP t20 affair look like a picnic by comparison.

Kalorned didn't want to put words in HoleySheet1's mouth. When you're breaking a story this big, you need your source to speak unambiguously and on the record.

HoleySheet1 was quite willing to spell it all out. He matter-of-factly explained that the New Order, the Code, the Saviour of Highsec, all of it, was actually a conspiracy created and operated by CCP from day one. The whole thing was designed to destroy EVE players' assets and boost CCP's revenues.

Once conjured, however, CCP's monster went out of control. The destruction spread far beyond what CCP imagined. Now they were reaping the bitter fruits.

Obviously this guy knew what he was talking about. He wouldn't have sounded so confident and self-assured otherwise. But did he have a smoking gun?

It was even worse than Kalorned feared. The conspiracy went so deep that it was able to erase every trace of its actions. How else to explain the lack of evidence? HoleySheet1 exited the Gelhan system, leaving behind a shaken, contemplative Kalorned.
Captain BrewSir > Kalorned Eve is a game where there is no dedicated PvE server, but still just like any other MMORPG. Problem with an economy is that people usualy hord their stuff. This means stady inflation of the ingame currency.
Captain BrewSir > i hope you understand that
Kalorned > I don't know why you felt the need to tell me about basic economics - but thank you
Captain BrewSir > No problem, Code is nothing else but organization who will destroy some of that assets
Some of the Mission Ready Mining members had been in system the whole time, watching events unfold in local chat. One of them, Captain BrewSir, attempted to explain why HoleySheet1's theory made so much sense.
Kalorned > Code is improving high sec
Kalorned > I'm glad you see that
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I agree that Code is improving Highsec.
Captain BrewSir > What you are really doing is shortenng player base, whay more then assets
Captain BrewSir > way
CCP had created the Saviour and his Code in order to curb inflation. But what CCP failed to anticipate is that the ganking they inspired would drive so many players from the game.
Kalorned > I believe we're doing the opposite
Captain BrewSir > well, look at number of players
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > We improve player retention.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > That's science.
Kalorned > In reality, our actions here and those of our friends are one of the few things stemming the bleeding of players
Agents Kalorned and TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet were forced to confront the possibility that they'd been working for CCP all along. So far, everything checked out--almost. There were still some holes in the theory. For instance, they knew that ganking improves player retention. CCP's studies proved it. CCP's...? Could that have been a deception, too?
Captain BrewSir > so then attack only akf players
Captain BrewSir > afk
Sir Moustachio > How do you tell who is AFK?
Captain BrewSir > private convo
Captain BrewSir > local
Captain BrewSir > bump him out
Ironically, Captain BrewSir encouraged our Agents to enforce the Code by doing a bunch of stuff they were already doing.
Sir Moustachio > and don't CODE usually ask miners to respond? enough said
Captain BrewSir > but when they respond
Captain BrewSir > you still kill them
Captain BrewSir > if they don't want to buy the permit?
Kalorned > Permits are absolutely required to mine in high sec
Captain BrewSir > so don't hide your bottom feed for content in some nobile moral issue
It would take some time for everyone to absorb what they'd just learned. It felt like the world was spinning. Confusion reigned.

To be continued...


  1. "HoleySheet1 exited the Gelhan system, leaving behind a shaken, contemplative Kalorned."

    Ha ha ha. Not likely. Kalorned is one cool cat.

  2. wow just wow. where was antiganking???

    Oh yeah they were trying to claim credit for PL ganking goon machariels in burn jita while also getting called trash by PL. so funny hahahaha

  3. NOL is recruiting!
    Learn how to take it like a man!




    1. Either SP is mad, or trying to remind everyone that NOL is still trash.

      i'ma say both, but it's understandable. Beta males have a hard time controlling themselves around Trump the King. That much Alpha male in the room fucks with their hormones and shit. Like a woman during menopause, SP is having a hell of a time, let's go easy on her.

      Him! I mean him...

      At least NOL's faildo rating has dropped since 1LTFaildo left to further his education.


    2. I will need to get vaccinated first,

  4. Post Burn Jita 2018 Wrap-Up
    From: Thomas en Chasteaux
    Sent: 2018.03.05 23:53
    To: High Sec Militia,



    Cochise Chiricahua, you and the The Inglourious Bastards have one year to gather together and train 10 bomber pilots for Burn Jita 2019.
    Schedule regular training on the Test Server.

    For everyone else, you have one year to train into Level V Guardian pilots.

    I have 15 Guardian hulls, and can fit for MWD cap stable, the same I use, with fitted and off-lined cap transfer when needed. We need 15 pilots willing to train for a free 400M fitted ISK ship. Can I make this any easier? #AskingForSomeHeroes
    Guardian Jita

    No excuses. No procrastination.


    1. An improvement though.

    2. thomas is so deeply vested in ag at this point he couldn't stop if he wanted to. Even though he knows he's on the losing side.

      Too stubborn to get out before the whole thing goes tits-up, thomas seems to be dead set on riding the ag fail-train into the dirt.

      There is no honor in prolonging the inevitable, thomas. You should do the right thing and admit that you, and the rest of the ag shitters, were wrong about ganking. And wrong about what EVE really is, a sandbox pvp mmorpg.

    3. They KNOW they're wrong about ganking. They employ it all the time now. The Inglourious Bastards are a GANKING CORP.

      They should just embrace the Code, admit James 315 is a hero and the leader of High Sec, and join us.

  5. More MRM tears on the forums in case anyone missed them


  6. It goes all the way to the top. Did Trump collude with James 315 to turn the election in his favor?

    1. You forgot the Russians. Fuking xxdethxx bots.

      We could appoint holyshitter as special investigator...

  7. Man all this drama is too much. Why don't we just kill miners and crush ag? Why all the alpha, beta, tantrums, and literal shit, shit? Don't we get enough tears from the people we hunt?

    1. You haven't been in this long have you?

      The only way to make highsec ag shitters learn is to completely break them, only then can they be retrained into non-shitter, productive members of the community.

      One step in that process is to constantly call them out and make them face the facts that they are shit and that they are playing EVE wrong. In their current form, carebears don't belong in EVE. It's up to us to reshape them.

      Anyone who thinks it's ok to mine in highsec in EVE needs an education.

      And there's no "literal" shit involved, maybe you need an education also.

    2. You sound like that shitter Salah; disgraced agent and turbo cringey autist.

  8. This is huge.

    Wait until Holey & MRM learn that James is ... wait for it... CCP Hilmar. Wait until it dawns on them that every plex they buy for ship losses actually goes to James' personal bank account. Every skill injector, and every microtransaction goes to feathering James' nest. They need to see they work for James. IRL. And when they realize they've given real names, email addresses and some even their credit cards, perhaps we'll have a meltdown.

    Permits remain the only rational economic choice.

    1. Don't worry Savior! We still love you, even if you are a fictional isk sink created by CCP.


    2. He's my favorite CCP created Savior!

  9. This is your daily reminder:

    NOL is still recruiting!

    Praise James! \o/

    1. And NOL is an awesome corp! Spais and youngbloods and shitters included. XD

  10. Lol @ that "I quit the game" isk donation amount from salad. It's either "I'm sorry" or "I quit".

    Either way, really.


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