Saturday, March 10, 2018

The German Legions, Part 1

How do you fit a Mackinaw?

Hint: Not like this. And before you ask, yes, those are both Civilian Shield Boosters.

Agent Sigrid Freud and her fellow gankers terminated the Mackinaw. A few hours later, Sigrid received a convo request from someone with a name suspiciously similar to the Mackinaw pilot's.
Sigrid Freud > Hello
FlashGordon13 > k├Ânnen sie deutsch?
Sigrid Freud > Nein
FlashGordon13 > Why do you shoot of mining ships
Sigrid Freud > I enforce the New Halaima Code of Conduct.
Sigrid Freud > and it's fun
German miner FlashGordon13 was the Mackinaw pilot's alt. (Actually, "pilot" may be a bit of a stretch, considering how long he was AFK.)
FlashGordon13 > when you shoot of ghostshadow we can beginn a figt with 4000 members
Sigrid Freud > You have "powerful friends in nullsec"?
FlashGordon13 > yes and i fight with code and then we kill all members
Well, that escalated quickly.
FlashGordon13 > when code killeed a second ship to our corp than its a very big fight
Sigrid Freud > Oh dear.
Sigrid Freud > Should we all unsubscribe from EVE?
FlashGordon13 > we shoot code to e very small aliance 4000 members can i speak in 30 minutes
The miner wanted revenge for his lost Mackinaw. Of course he did--all miners do. The difference is that FlashGordon13 had an entire army to help him get it.
Sigrid Freud > So you are going to buy mining permits for all 4000 of these people?
Sigrid Freud > that is quite generous of you
FlashGordon13 > not mining we shoot of all ships of the code aliance we make a war
Sigrid Freud > Yes, we will require that they purchase mining permits to enter highsec
Sigrid Freud > You can send the money directly to me
There was a catch, though. Getting that 4,000-man army into highsec legally would be expensive, even at the New Order's reasonable rates.
FlashGordon13 > you can send 700 mil for my losed ship or code have in 5 minutes e war of 4000 members
Sigrid Freud > I have a better idea.
FlashGordon13 > what
FlashGordon13 > war?
Sigrid Freud > You send me me 40 bil for the mining permits you will need for your "war"
A lot of EVE players would grow nervous at the prospect of 4,000 bloodthirsty nullsec warriors coming their way. They might even be tempted to waive provisions of the Code in order to avoid a conflict with such a force. Not Sigrid. She was an Agent of the New Order. She was more than willing to face them down. She would stand in the Pass of Thermopylae and defend the Code. If necessary, alone.
FlashGordon13 > when the 700 mil not in 5 minutes on my pocket then have code a very big war
FlashGordon13 > and we shoot code very small
Sigrid Freud > So your powerful friends in nullsec will destroy us?
FlashGordon13 > yes when i whrite the 4000 members in 30 minutes all in the high sec and we make a war
Since when did Germans become so belligerent?
FlashGordon13 > 600 mil in 5 minutes
Sigrid Freud > Why were you mining in New Order territory without a permit?
FlashGordon13 > we need minerals
Sigrid Freud > And why was your ship fit so terribly?
FlashGordon13 > he has not good skills in 3 minutes we beginn the war
Sigrid had counted on the 30-minute timer she was given, if only for the extra time to prepare the defense of highsec's entry gates. But the clock abruptly ticked down to five minutes, and then three. That was hardly any time at all!
FlashGordon13 > 700 mil or big war
Sigrid Freud > I will let you buy your gear back
Sigrid Freud > 500 mil
FlashGordon13 > 700 mil or war 2 minutes
Sigrid Freud > That mackinaw was an abomination
Sigrid Freud > you should be glad we killed it
If this is sounding at all familiar, it's because this is not the first time a vengeful miner laid down such a strict deadline...

Years ago, the legendary Mine Teck did something similar. I can definitely relate to the pressure Sigrid must've been feeling at that moment.

Don't worry, everything turned out okay somehow. But that was just Mine Teck. Sigrid had four thousand angry Germans headed in her direction, so let's turn our attention back to that crisis.
Sigrid Freud > Are you sure you want your powerful friends to know you lost a blingy mackinaw in a 0.9?
FlashGordon13 > 1 minute
FlashGordon13 > then i wrihte the 4000 members
FlashGordon13 > war?
FlashGordon13 > 700mil?
FlashGordon13 > yes or no
The moment of truth had arrived. The fate of the New Order would be decided by what happened in the next few moments.

To be continued...


  1. Going Home
    From: Grand Design
    Sent: 2018.03.10 17:17
    To: High Sec Militia,

    Hey guys,

    It's been great flying with you! I really miss 0.0 so I'm heading back out there.

    Please stay in touch and don't be strangers.


    1. That's too bad, he doubled the toxicity in ag channels all by himself. Maybe there is hope for the HSM after all...


      Get a permit miners, or move to Null like Grand Design!

      Praise James! \o/

    2. Fuk that, nullsec would rather grandshitter stayed in highsec with the rest of his kind.

  2. Open Season on CODE.
    From: Cochise Chiricahua
    Sent: 2018.03.09 21:26
    To: High Sec Militia, Abomination Azizora,

    07 y'all!


    CODE. has made the mistake of wardec'ing TetraFinity, and The Inglourious Bastards has offerred assistance as TF's ally in this war. For the duration of this war, I'm opening membership in The Inglourious Bastards to all members in good standing of any rank in the High Sec Militia. Submit an application and, if I have you as an HSM member, it will be approved. Just be aware that my in-game schedule is erratic due to my IRL work schedule, so it may take me a couple of days. In addition to HSM's benefits, membership in TIB gives you access to our ship replacement program, ganker kill rights, tags to repair sec status, etc. You can find a full list of benefits in this recruitment post.

    What does this mean for you? It means that every CODE. member will be a war target for you. You can engage them any time, anywhere, regardless of kill rights or sec status, without CONCORD intervention. But don't forget that's a double-edged sword. They can also engage you! I strongly suggest you use only criminal or PvP alts for this. If that alt isn't an HSM member, send me an e-mail from the member with the alt's name & I'll consider their application.

    If destroying CODE. interests you even a little bit, I suggest you join now. I can't be specific yet, but suffice it to say that there may be other allies for TetraFinity in this war. If that happens, this may very well be the war that breaks CODE.'s back! Now if that doesn't tickle your fancy, I give up!

    Cochise Chiricahua,
    Private First Class, High Sec Militia,
    Director, The Inglourious Bastards.

    1. Another AG Group
      From: Cochise Chiricahua
      Sent: 2018.03.09 02:48
      To: High Sec Militia,

      07 y'all!

      DjBubzee invited me into MinersFightBack the other day. It's a channel for miners to report ganking, then they form a fleet to pursue the ganker. You might want to join for the intel and the fleet opportunities. Be aware that it is a public channel, and is spammed pretty heavily by Liek DarZ and others.


    2. It's a lie, miners don't fight back.

    3. War deccing an alliance of -10.00 sec status... Surely CODE is finished this time:thinking:

    4. "I strongly suggest you use only criminal or PvP alts for this". This just reaffirms that AG shitters are first and foremost carebears. Isn't the whole point of AG to PvP? Why would you need to pull out your "PvP alt" to fight in war your corp was designed for in the first place?

  3. How cute, different levels of constant failure.

  4. These Germans are just Nihilists, Dude.

  5. Sigrid Freud > I enforce the New Halaima Code of Conduct.
    Sigrid Freud > and it's fun

    carebears will never understand the concept of fun

  6. "Since when did Germans become so belligerent?"

    Hahahahahaaah that's absolutely sublime satire. Always!


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