Sunday, April 19, 2020

Kills of the Week

Bot-aspirancy is a disease. Some might say that's harsh, but is it really? After all, bot-aspirancy is lethal. Carebears who fall victim to their routines and subroutines are doomed to death and destruction. Like these bot-aspirants from the week of April 12th @ 00:00 EVEtime through April 18th @ 23:59 EVEtime...



At some point after deciding upon his character name, Dethbringer1 decided he'd had enough of conflict. So he joined NoWar4Me corporation and prepared to enjoy a life of 100% safety in highsec. He must have truly felt invincible, otherwise it would be difficult to explain his 5 billion isk fail-fit hauler. A single Agent in a Tornado--an elite PvP'er by the name of Kimdoe--took him down.


Looks like Dethbringer1 extracted all of his skills before undocking.



Jump freighter pilots like Ilaj Baiulus continue to lose everything they own by failing to pay their taxes in Jita. Agents Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector Rachel, Tax Collector AynRand, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Otto, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector Kittens, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Hill, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Shardani, Mining Lord 1999, and Dr Hattrick used quite a few Taloses, but they managed to score a 31 billion isk kill and 21.8 billion in loot. Investing in the Code always pays off.



When you think of all the advantages that a Blockade Runner has in highsec, it's amazing to see people like Kranyoldlady losing them to gank squads. Agents Caldari Citizen 2116212079, Lovin Jr, FleetJump Jump, and 1400mm Gallium Cannon popped a Viator worth just shy of 20 billion isk. It was, as you might expect, utterly AFK. I guess Kranyoldlady didn't think her cargo was important enough to watch.



K0CMO3ABP's remote-repping Leshak was worth 7.1 billion isk--before counting its five Abyssal modules, whose values zKillboard does not estimate. Needless to say, this was a bling boat. But wars are not won by bling; they're won by the skill and determination of Agents like eviserater Adoudel, Georgia Rackner, Kirra Rackner, Ivy Rackner, Olivia Rackner, Zoe Rackner, Jemma Rackner, Ashlee Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Charlotte Rackner, Kimberly Rackner, Globby Rackner, hegils, Emily Rackner, Phoenix Rackner, Benji Rackner, Celestia Rackner, and Vladimir Puotin. Our heroes simply used a bunch of Catalysts. No Abyssal nonsense required.



It takes a special kind of Goofus to bring a 2.4 billion isk Mobile Tractor Unit into highsec and allow anyone who feels like it to come take a shot. Shaigh was precisely that kind of Goofus, though. Inevitably, Agents Chris Pandora, Just-Another-Code-Alt Auralis, Hillbilly-2000, Zor Q, and 4 Weeks Aulmais learned about the blingy MTU and acted accordingly.



darkstriker01 Anzomi undocked in a rookie ship, activated his autopilot, and went AFK. Apparently no one told this guy what Agent Aaaarrgg has been doing to autopiloting rookie ships for the past several years. I mean, we're talking about someone who has ganked over 2,000 rookie ships. You'd think a carebear would see this coming. But no.


With the rookie ship removed, Aaaarrgg sunk his teeth into the juicy pod left behind. Implants worth roughly 3.5 billion isk were destroyed. Normally they'd be destroyed, that is. But thanks to a special event, 50% of implants have been dropping, like regular modules. So our Agent was rewarded with 1.8 billion isk worth of loot for podding the carebear. Finally, someone at CCP realized that people like Aaaarrgg deserve a bonus for all their good work!

16 comments:

  1. Miners disgust me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. inb4 tactical retard

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hope a customary gf or " good fight " was placed in local by those illegals.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. kód szopni ló fasz

      Delete
    2. Ha szépen megkérsz, csinálok neked magyar fordítást a Kódból. Látom bányász, hogy eredetiben nem igazán érted még.

      Delete
    3. Im sorry miner, i don't speak ukranian.

      But i bet you are crying some eastern block salt.

      Free ukrain.

      Delete
    4. He is saying something about potatoes.

      Delete
    5. He said, "Hi, I mining naked for potato in great communist city Kodbol. I spending much time in gulag, as I must purchasing mining permit from Soviet mining authority. How many potatoes must I paying you for mining in star galaxy?"

      Delete
    6. I don't know why,but i google translated it.

      Now i know why he is so upset. He is infatuated with horse penis. He is Hungarian. Firstly, slap yourself in the face Hungarian shitbag miner. You are embarrassing your countrymen. The Angry hungarian truck driver wants to kill you like a rat.

      Delete
  4. "Dethbringer1" lol

    Yea whatever, carebear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Still, not as stupid as "rageclaw". What a cringey name for a highsec carebear coward.

      Delete
    2. At least that was half-fitting. We still feel the impact of that rage.

      Delete
  5. Anonymous comments trigger me. Waaaah!

    ReplyDelete

Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.