White Knights in High Places

Agent Lewak had an Atron-class frigate and an itchy trigger finger. What to do? Go on a roam in low/null? Ask someone if RvB is still around?

No, Lewak used his ship to enforce the Code. He ganked a Venture. A frigate for a frigate, which seemed fair. Lewak sent the pilot, Waffle Ohaya, an EVEmail about the Code.

Waffle didn't write back--but someone else did.

Ray Dawnsblood entered the scene. For some reason, he took up Waffle's case. Maybe Ray was supposed to be intimidating on Waffle's behalf, but Ray himself had to invoke the names of other alliances. How were they all connected? All Lewak did was gank a guy named Waffle. It was like a "powerful friends in nullsec" version of six degrees of separation.

Shadow Cartel, one of the alliances listed, did not appear to have any connection to Ray. I've heard of Shadow Cartel. Their stats are okay, but certainly nothing like those of the mighty CODE. alliance. They fell far short of the 2 trillion mark last month.

Agent Lewak told Ray that if he was a true friend to Waffle, he'd buy the little guy a mining permit. Lewak was testing Ray for signs of bot-aspirancy and carebear tendencies. If Ray wouldn't even spend 10 million isk to help his friend, that would reveal what his priorities really were.

Ray fancied himself the whitest of white knights. Who were these "protectors" anyway? Some Anti-Ganking group that managed to stay off the radar? Ray continued:

Like so many other theme parkers we've encountered, Ray claimed to champion the cause of new players. Waffle actually was new, but Ray wouldn't give him any isk. His only "help" came in the form of rants via EVEmail.

Ray questioned the motives and dedication of the Saviour of Highsec. Classic projection.

The "protector" finally wrapped up his EVEmail. He urged sympathy and compassion for new players--but he drew the line at opening his own wallet for them.

Lewak penned a brief reply. He suggested that Ray must be new in highsec if he didn't know about the Code. Also, CCP has definitively proven that ganking new players doesn't make them quit. This small dose of truth triggered another rant.

Ray gnashed his teeth about newbies quitting. Yet the young miner kept his silence. Why couldn't Waffle speak for himself?

Ray had his own vision for what CODE. could become: A training corp for new highsec miners. This, among other reasons, is why I'm the Saviour of Highsec and he's not.

I mentioned before that although Ray liked to name-drop, he didn't seem to have any authority to speak on their behalf. So who was this guy?

In fact, Ray didn't belong to any particular corp or alliance for very long. One particularly suspicious entry in his employment history: A 44-day stint in Death to CODE.

Amusingly, even a corporation dedicated to our destruction manages to be another one of those "we take anyone and we do a little of everything" corps. Like Ray, these people have nothing and no one to guide them. They'll never get anywhere until they learn to follow the Code.

The Orcas of Nakugard, Part 11

Previously, on MinerBumping... Absolute power. What started as a campaign to rid Nakugard of Orca bots resulted in Agent Alt 00 assembling an extraordinary fleet of ganker alts. Despite her total control over the locals, Alt 00 wasn't corrupted, not even a little.

When an Orca explodes, a second star illuminates the system--a star that shines with the light of the Code.

Thanks to the Talos fleet's carnage, it had been weeks since the last Orca was sighted in Nakugard. When one did eventually enter the system and begin mining ice, Alt 00 knew exactly what to do.

The Orca flesh was just as savory as Alt 00 remembered.

If the Orca pilot had been willing to speak, she might've whined about not being warned about the Code. Of course, the wrecks of all those earlier Orcas were plenty of warning for anyone paying attention.

Despite all of the joys that Alt 00 had shared with Nakugard--the highs and the higher highs (there are no lows in the New Order)--many of the miners didn't seem to be rooting for our Agent.

Alt 00 perceived that some miners felt nostalgic for the old days, when they could mine AFK without worrying about gank fleets.

It was as our Agent predicted: She could kill the miners and force them to comply with the Code, but not all miners could be made to love the Code.

Pharoah Strange had witnessed many of the Code's everyday miracles. None of the explosions had warmed his heart. It remained as cold as the ice he used to mine.

The fact was, some miners refused to be redeemed or reformed. They were bot-aspirants to the core.

Our Agent only knew of one way to deal with bot-aspirants: Punish them for their disobedience. Pharaoh sensed that he'd be due for a good ganking if he remained in the system for too long, so he took his leave.

Incredibly, a Russian Orca bot entered Nakugard soon after the previous Orca had broken Nakugard's weeks-long streak. Unlike certain computer game companies I could mention, Alt 00 knew how to deal with bots.

The occasion was ripe for a celebration of highsec's Order, Code, and Saviour. Alt 00's alts paraded through the system, each one enthusiastically waving an Orca killmail. Two questions, dear reader: First, who doesn't love a parade?

Second, what celebration would be complete without fireworks?

All in all, it was an extraordinary achievement. Everyone who had visited Nakugard in the previous month could see exactly what the Code was all about.

Nevertheless, a carebear's empty boast at the conclusion of the parade must remind us all to remain vigilant. Our fight is not over yet.

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 36

Previously, on MinerBumping... The Gelhan system threatened to become an insane asylum. Mission Ready Mining corp was in a frenzy after its leadership spread the rumor that the mighty CODE. alliance was colluding with The Marmite Collective. The miners desperately needed new leadership: The Agents of the New Order.

When speaking to our Agents, MRM members repeatedly claimed that they were winning the war against the Marmites. Yet the war record for Fly Fearless (MRM's alliance) told a very different story.

Agent Kalorned and his spies noticed that fewer MRM members were willing to stay in Gelhan, even when our Agents weren't in the system. This, too, was inconsistent with MRM's claims of victory.

Meanwhile, the members of MRM seemed to be losing faith in their leaders. They saw the strength and casual awesomeness of the New Order--and found themselves drawn to it instead.

Even so, our Agents had no choice but to terminate the miners until they officially surrendered to the Code.

As time went on, potential defectors presented themselves to our heroes. They painted a picture of MRM that was far darker than that of the leadership's propaganda.

Despite having thousands of members, MRM failed to form even small defense fleets. Few of its pilots were willing to face Kalorned in battle. Not after what they'd seen.

Kalorned yearned for the early days of the siege, when his enemies showed more bravery. He loved to PvP, but all MRM did was run and hide.

Was there truly no one willing to stand and fight?

Our heroes kept a close eye on Gelhan and the neighboring systems. They were looking for evidence that the miners were learning--even taking a few baby steps up the learning cliff--but what they saw next shocked them.

The miners were so unused to fighting that they were incapable of performing basic tasks like viewing their own lossmails.

The coherence of the miners' tears was also declining. If anything, then, the miners were getting dumber.

Our Agents' spies in MRM uncovered yet another bombshell, this time from their internal EVEmails:

MRM leadership was encouraging its members to create neutral alts--and to train them to fly haulers. Were the miners planning a full-scale evacuation from Gelhan?

To be continued...

Kills of the Week

How much has the New Order been winning lately?

...We've been winning so much that the Anti-Gankers have no choice but to beg CCP to stop ganks, because they can't stop ganks themselves. (So much for all the "CODE. gankers aren't having any impact" denialism!) Read their suggestions on how to nerf ganking again, if you dare.

Despite all our constant victories, we haven't gotten tired of winning yet. So our brave warriors kept on winning, right on through the week of February 4th @ 00:00 EVEtime through February 10th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

KILLMAIL

If you want to see more evidence of the absolute necessity of the Code, look no further than the recent trend of mining battleships. Another of these beasts was slain this week: Intar Baribar's mining Megathron, which had the dubious distinction of being undecuple-anti-tanked. Agent Arden Elenduil defeated it in a fierce battle. Oh, how that battle raged.

KILLMAIL

Goofuses haven't gone extinct quite yet, and so Hulks haven't either. Bachuus brought out his bling-fit Hulk and engaged in unlicensed mining. It only took a single Catalyst to bring him down, piloted by Agent Guybertini, a man who knows a thing or two about killing miners.

KILLMAIL

vaal sb was too cheap to buy a freighter, but too bot-aspirant not to lose billions of isk anyway. His Bustard was busted by Agents Luna Nightblood, Ralliana, and Underpaid Ship Mechanic.

Sometimes the Loot Fairy gets confused and good things drop, but not today. Our Agents were far more concerned about defending the honour of the Code, however.

KILLMAIL

Apparently Magic Wild got distracted in the middle of designing his Orca fit and forgot to finish it. His poor memory might also explain how he forgot to buy a New Order mining permit, which everyone should know by now is required for all Orcas in highsec. Agents Dead Blue Whale, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Richard, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Max, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector Stroheim, Hermann Fizzleblade, Jack Fizzleblade, Franz Fizzleblade, Trump The King, Archibald Fizzleblade, and Ektallion gave Magic Wild a gentle reminder.

PushX is a hauling service--the main rival to Red Frog Freight. This message was taken from the PushX Discord channel. As you can imagine, both of these hauling conglomerates have been thinking about us a lot lately. Thus far their only defense against our gankers has been to charge their customers higher rates.

KILLMAIL

Anoma Rake probably felt safe once he got his 28.9 billion isk jump freighter into a 0.8 security system. I mean, how many gankers would it take to kill him there?

A truly massive gank fleet--with no fewer than 50 members of the mighty CODE. alliance--went forth to victory: Agents Dead Black Whale, Dead Orange Whale, Dead Purple Whale, Dead Geen Whale, Dead Blue Whale, Dead Red Whale, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector HongMei, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Max, Tawny Rozei, Tax Collector Kittens, Sherri Rozei, Australian Excellence, Taxman Daniel, Christine Rozei, Tax Collector Richard, Trump The King, Ruby Rozei, Tax Collector AynRand, Tax Collector Stroheim, Dead Gray Whale, Dead Scarlet Whale, Dead Pink Whale, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector BokChoy, Dead Brown Whale, Tax Collector Larry, Shanade Rozei, Tax Collector Kimi, Giselle Rozei, Tax Collector Yuna, The Confiscator, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Shardani, Daniel Chanline, tumblr ptsd, Serious Web Developer, erobb, patyooki, Booka Shade, PogChampion, James BIG BONED, Shy Elf Trap, oink piggu, Milkmypigeon, brainlet, Mining Lord 1999, Lobo El Lobo, Ektallion, and Ding Dong MingMong.

Our numbers are growing. And the rebels are growing more frightened each day.

Icing on an already delicious cake.

KILLMAIL

Grog Mileghere's 4 billion isk pod proved to be no match for Agent Liek DarZ, who soundly beat the carebear in an honourable 1v1. Agent Liek chose to bring a Catalyst to the fight instead of a Capsule, though it was Liek's commitment to the Code that proved to be decisive. Grog simply didn't know the Code or the game well enough to prevail. That's not to say that Grog is completely ignorant--he knows how not to fit a Tengu. For some reason he fits them that way anyway, though.

When it came to his implants, Grog spared no expense. He should try filling his head with knowledge instead.

Boasting of Stupidity

Non-compliant carebears: If they don't learn to obey the Code early on, it can lead to terrible consequences down the road.

Way back in 2015, Howdy Dooody lost a nonuple-anti-tanked industrial ship when he was ganked by the mighty CODE. alliance. But at least it was only 150 million isk. If he'd bought a permit after that, it wouldn't have been so bad.

Years later, Howdy's alt reaped the harvest of his bot-aspirancy: The carebear's 13.7 billion isk freighter went down in flames.

Back in the day, Howdy had passed up a relatively inexpensive chance at learning his lesson. Maybe there was hope for him now, though.

The miner claimed to be appreciative of the lesson he'd been taught, but something made his gratitude seem a little phony.

Howdy had attempted to escort the freighter by webbing it. Apparently he had listened to the rebels, who claim that webbing a freighter makes it invincible. Not true--only the Code can do that.

(Oh, and so much for not "giving you anything".)

Almost immediately after complimenting our Agents for keeping the webbed freighter bump-tackled, Howdy pulled a 180 and denied the fact that he'd been bested in "nice" PvP--much less elite PvP.

Howdy was sour as a lemon. This is a sure sign that he's not done losing ships.

In fact, zKillboard's records show that the freighter was far more expensive than anything Howdy or his alt had lost before. Perhaps he has alts in another corp with a much worse record, but that would be inconsistent with Howdy's earlier comments about learning not to haul so valuable a cargo. No, the most logical explanation is that Howdy was actually boasting about being even worse at the game than he actually is. We're through the looking-glass with this one: A miner falsely claiming losses to make himself appear like more of a Goofus! This is what can happen to you when you don't have the Code.