The Orcas of Nakugard, Part 6

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Alt 00 unleashed her righteous fury against the Orca miner bots in the Nakugard system. Despite the bots' tanked-up Orca EHP, Alt was powerful enough to destroy them one by one--using her newly assembled fleet of Talos pilots.

After several Orcas were ganked, the rest of the bots fled in a panic. But apparently Nate Bolmara didn't get the memo. He warped into the ice anomaly, apparently unconcerned by the fact that he was the only Orca there. Alt immediately launched a strike against Nate.

Nate was AFK; he made no effort to save his pod. But just how AFK was he?

...His pod was ganked by a Talos. Clearly this was not a matter of poor reflexes on the miner's part.

In all of this talk about Nate's egregious mistakes--and there were many--let's not miss the big picture: Orca ganks are a wonderful thing to behold. The beauty you see here was given to us by the Code.

Nakugard was rocked by the latest explosion. Why did so many Orcas have to die?

Our Agent didn't sugarcoat the truth--she didn't need to. The truths of the Code are sweet enough on their own.

Alt 00's repeated demonstrations of force bolstered the pro-Code contingent in Nakugard. They had no doubt that they were on the right side of history. The bot-aspirants didn't like it, but they couldn't argue with the killmails. For the next few days, Nakugard remained an Orca-free zone.

By the next time an Orca did show up, Alt was eager to release her restless Taloses.

There's no need for cargo expanders on an Orca. Your ship will explode before you can fill it with ice.

When miners recognize that the New Order controls highsec, they whine to us instead of CCP. Nakugard bowed to Alt 00, and then they presented her with petitions. On-again off-again permit holder Haze Tveskoeg was still sore about a loss from months earlier.

Having thoroughly enjoyed setting an Orca ablaze, Alt 00 sat back to relax and hold court. She knew she'd earned lots of political capital from killing all those Orcas.

Alt reviewed Haze's case and objectively determined that her fellow Agent did the right thing in killing him.

Miners, if you're going to argue with an Agent of the New Order, you had better make sure you know the Code, like, really well.

Haze ignored Alt 00's wisdom and worked himself up into a frenzy. Before long, it was a full-on protest. Now there was a danger that Haze's protest could spiral into a system-wide rebellion. Our Agent had won the war, but could she keep the peace?

To be continued...

Resistance in Paralysis

Two things are rumored to be extinct in highsec: Anti-Gankers and autopiloting pods.

They're not extinct, though--merely endangered. Agents Aaaarrgg and Pod-Goo RepoWoman were bouncing from gate to gate in search of their favored quarry, the rare and exotic autopiloting pod. As they did so, they came across another unusual sight.

PINCH en Chalune was an honest-to-badness Anti-Ganker. He followed our heroes' Thrashers from gate to gate, hoping to prevent them from ganking any pods.

Agent Pod-Goo RepoWoman dropped the J-bomb in local chat. It yielded truth, as it always does: PINCH revealed himself to be a Russian Anti-Ganker.

Accordingly, Pod-Goo linked a copy of the Code translated into Russian. But it seems PINCH was already familiar with it.

Agent Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri posted the translation on the MinerBumping forum years ago. Our Agents have made good use of it; the Russian translation of the Code has been read over 23,000 times.

Agent Salah has become quite famous among Russian EVE players. Salah's celebrity can be intimidating; PINCH wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to say hello.

Aaaarrgg and Pod-Goo continued to bounce around, looking for their elusive prey. PINCH insisted that if an autopiloting pod did appear, he would protect it.

But at the very moment PINCH was bragging about his skills, Pod-Goo RepoWoman smashed a 100 million isk pod one system over. Aaaarrgg linked the kill and asked PINCH for his thoughts.

Pod-Goo RepoWoman popped back into the system just in time to watch PINCH try to explain away his latest failure to prevent a gank. Our Agent casually brushed aside PINCH's embarrassing attempt at spin.

PINCH didn't like being humiliated in local chat. He planned to get his revenge by preventing a gank. He'd failed to stop Pod-Goo RepoWoman, but maybe he could rescue a pod from Aaaarrgg?

Alas, at that very moment, Aaaarrgg was ganking an 840 million isk pod one jump over in the other direction. (Isn't it typical? You wait all day for a pod and then two arrive back-to-back.)

There was nowhere left for PINCH to hide. He'd bragged to everyone about his abilities as an Anti-Ganker, only to have both of the gankers he was tracking pull off a gank right under his nose.

PINCH no longer even pretended to be effective at stopping ganks. Instead, he condemned our Agents for their immoral deeds. Shedding tears was the only thing the Anti-Ganker was able to do.

When PINCH invoked the name of the Saviour of Highsec, it was clear that he wouldn't be sticking around much longer. When rebels speak my name, they very often log off soon afterward.

PINCH indeed chose to quit EVE for the day. He was able to prevent just as many ganks while logged off, anyway.

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 33

Previously, on MinerBumping... Mission Ready Mining refugees awoke to a new horror when they realized that the Agents of the New Order who had chased them out of the Gelhan system were also patrolling the neighboring systems. With the miners' frustration reaching unprecedented levels, Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet was the recipient of extraordinary hostility.

Tyrax Iceheart came dangerously close to making real-life threats against his enemy. At the urging of his fellow miner, Tyrax retreated--something he was accustomed to doing.

Agent TheInternet became public enemy number one. All he had to do was show his face in local to get the MRM members' teeth set on edge.

Agent Georgia B Dixie returned from one of the neighboring systems to check in on Gelhan. What was all this ruckus about?

The miners were still out of their minds with grief. Best to wait an hour or two before asking them if they had come around on the Code yet.

Later that day, an intrepid Venture attempted to mine in Gelhan. Upon the Venture's destruction, the miners of MRM settled in for another day of staying docked up.

However, MRM's combat ships were on the move. Agent Kalorned wanted to get in some good bumping time with his famous Orthrus. He immediately noticed a lot of MRM and Fly Fearless (the alliance that MRM corp is a member of) tickers. Did their fleet intend to attack Kalorned, finally?

...Apparently not. Kalorned continued to roam Gelhan at will. But it was now getting quite difficult to find any mining ships.

The next day, TheInternet greeted Gelhan, only to be met by an uncharacteristic silence. Something was brewing. Finally, the silence was broken.

Previously, MRM members had inadvertently--and unnecessarily--provoked The Marmite Collective into declaring war against their alliance, Fly Fearless. TheInternet learned that the Marmites had engaged in a fight with some MRM members earlier that day. During the fight, Agent Georgia intervened by bumping one of the MRM battleships. Wild conspiracy theories ensued.

The rumor was spreading throughout the MRM ranks like wildfire. TheInternet and Marmite member Murdoch Luther decided to fan the flames.

Having witnessed the exchange of pleasantries between a Marmite and an Agent of the New Order, the MRM members were now absolutely convinced: It was clear case of collusion!

Since there weren't any miners around, TheInternet tried his hand at bumping combat ships. It really seemed to bother the MRM members, who feared the bumps would put them at a disadvantage if and when a Marmite gang showed up.

Slypher Hekki threatened to report TheInternet to CCP--nothing new there. But she also announced her intention to break the news to everyone about The Marmite Collective's collusion with the mighty CODE. alliance. One way or another, the truth would get out. Gelhan was about to be rocked by scandal.

To be continued...

Kills of the Week

CCP has created a wonderful PvP sandbox in EVE. Unfortunately, too many players abuse the sandbox by using their freedom to make bad decisions. There's good news, though: When players make bad decisions in highsec, they get punished for it by Code enforcers. Logically speaking, the Code was predestined to come into existence; highsec wouldn't make any sense otherwise. Let's take a look at the Code in action during the week of January 14th @ 00:00 EVEtime through January 20th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

KILLMAIL

What will it take to teach all of these ORE cargo-expanded jump freighters to obey the Code? How many hundreds of billions of isk must be destroyed in the Iyen-Oursta system? java4 knight was the latest to experience a crushing loss simply because he couldn't be bothered to buy a 10 million isk mining permit.

An impressive gank fleet assembled by the mighty CODE. alliance took down this beast: Agents Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector HongMei, Justin Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jason Kusion, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Larry, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Kittens, Australian Excellence, Jake Kusion, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector Buck, Joseph Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector Stroheim, Joshua Kusion, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Aruka, Jackson Kusion, Tax Collector AynRand, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, brainlet, Ding Dong MingMong, Mining Lord 1999, Kaddan, HSM Chief PettyOfficer, and HSM Fleet Admiral.

A sample of the cargo reveals that somebody has been doing a lot of unlicensed mining. I wonder how many hours of "effort" were erased by this gank?

KILLMAIL

It probably goes without saying that Jacht Mihoff's Retriever fit was ill-advised. He managed to lose nearly 900 million isk on what would normally be a cheap barge. Jacht can't claim he was defenseless--he equipped a drone damage mod, after all. Even so, he was defeated in elite PvP by Agents Liek DarZ, Plasma Death, and Photon Death.

KILLMAIL

I guess the theme of the week is, "A foolish miner and his money are soon parted." Bud Panala spent 1.5 billion isk on a head-scratcher of a Mackinaw. Even an unlicensed carebear ought to be able to design a better fit than this. Agents NotTheSmartestCookie, Lil Bobby Tables, Hans Ferdeappel, Snoobee Power, Nasagasa Bump, Lingmei White, xilaf, Hyrum Shakiel, Unfit ForDoody, flyper faper, Crom Cimmeria, Dixie Lot, and Space Pirate Gankus were all eager to get a piece of this killmail.

Over a billion isk of the loss came in the form of decadent mining drones. I'm sure plenty of bot-aspirants wish they could be a mining drone.

KILLMAIL

Is it possible that the miners are actually getting dumber? Avo Xo offered new support for this theory with her 2 billion isk Mackinaw. Contrary to Avo's expectations, her billion isk invulnerability field didn't scare off Agents Cautiously Pessimistic, Lucia, Alt Proxy, Araena Calorne, Cautiously Optimistic, Erigeneia, Alt 00, Alt 0, and Eva Mavas. It's almost as if blingy modules make you more of a target.

KILLMAIL

You can tell that Schwester Pointi was desperately afraid of being tackled. But all of that warp core strength did her little good while she slowly autopiloted through highsec. Agents Trump The King, Lagatha Rozei, Christine Rozei, Giselle Rozei, Tawny Rozei, Shanade Rozei, brainlet, Sherri Rozei, Ruby Rozei, and Ivanka Rozei knocked out the Occator and did highsec proud.

Schwester was carrying nearly a billion isk in skill injectors. That was only the start, though.

The bot-aspirant was also smuggling a couple dozen BPCs that would've been used to create more decadent mining drones! zKillboard didn't value the BPCs, but let's just say highsec is a little more Code-compliant with Schwester and her cargo taken out of the equation.

KILLMAIL

Raoul sun Ottenthal was ganked while autopiloting a 4.5 billion isk freighter. His humiliation was made complete with an additional 3 billion isk loss from implants popped by Agent Pod-Goo RepoWoman.

Judging by his implants, Raoul was in a hurry. Not to worry, freighter pilots. We'll gank you even if you're late.