William's Rage, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Highsec miner William Rageclaw raged and clawed against the Code. But Agent Alt 00 refused to allow an anti-Code resistance movement to take root in her beloved Nakugard system. So she stood up for truth and justice.

For a time, William quieted down. Nakugard's lively social scene flourished once more.

Agent Alt 00 returned to her usual Code enforcement duties, ganking an unfit hauler.

...After which she sunk her teeth into the Capsule left behind. The kill was a triumph for the Code, so Alt decided to celebrate.

William bristled, souring the mood in local. Then our Agent noticed the similarity between the name of the ganked hauler pilot and that of the grumpy carebear.

Both William and the hauler pilot adamantly denied that there was any link between them. Our Agent remained on her guard, though.

The Gallant citizens of Nakugard ignored William's grumblings and congratulated their favorite Agent on a good kill. Hearts and minds.

Leia Jadesol sang the New Order's praises. She was a strong advocate for permit ownership--but some doubted.

Not everyone in Nakugard had embraced the Code yet. Those who were discontent were beginning to speak up. Was this William's influence?

Leia made a compelling case that everyone miner who isn't a bot-aspirant benefits from the Code. Unfortunately, highsec has its share of bot-aspirants, and they constantly lobby against the good things that our Agents do.

Just as Agent Alt 00 was making Nakugard comfortable for permit-owning miners, another angry carebear emerged: DeMoNSpiKe. And he seemed to sympathize with William's point of view.

Apparently mad about a gank, DeMoNSpiKe raged.

The miners of Nakugard grew restless. Alt 00 could only conclude that William's rebellious outburst in local had sparked something among his fellow miners. Would our Agent be able to put down this resistance movement before it spread to other systems?

To be continued...

Kills of the Week

Good EVE players should have good standards. We can all agree on that, right? The only question, then, is what the standard should be. It's an easy question, because there's only one standard that has ever been offered by any serious person: the standard provided by the Code. The alternative is to wind up like one of the Gobloks seen below, from the week of August 18th @ 00:00 EVEtime through August 24th @ 23:59 EVEtime:

KILLMAIL

Yikes! How many mining permits can you buy with 94.6 billion isk? Too many for Mashimaro Mashimaro to afford, now that she has lost her highsec super to Agents Rebecca Rackner, Georgia Rackner, eviserater Adoudel, Lazergunz Pewpew, Kirra Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Yan Rackner, Jemma Rackner, Emily Rackner, Jani Rackner, Ashlee Rackner, and Defend the Wall.

You can watch the Rackner family finish off the freighter in this Twitch clip.

I must say, attempting to move an unlicensed 94.6 billion isk freighter through Niarja was not Mashimaro's finest moment.

KILLMAIL

Now that we've all recovered from the spectacle of the blingy freighter, we can relax and take in totally normal sights like a 5 billion isk battleship being ganked in a 1.0 security system. Edan Fehrnah might have looked like a madman some other week, but at least he didn't lose nearly 100 billion isk. Agents Anya Kovalsky, Narl' Amhar, Astrid Tyrfing, and Votre Dieu unleashed their Tornadoes upon the bot-aspirant Raven Navy Issue and collected a nice bit of loot.

KILLMAIL

Don Eoner is one of those miners who genuinely believes that Skiffs are ungankable. What else can explain his decision to pilot an almost entirely untanked mining ship worth a billion isk? Agents Votre Dieu, Narl' Amhar, and Astrid Tyrfing blapped the Skiff while it was autopiloting through highsec. At least he wasn't mining.

Don was afraid that once he started mining, someone might gank his blingy drones. So he kept an extra dozen in his cargo bay--leaving a nice present for our gankers.

KILLMAIL

Ptit-lu is the answer to a riddle: When is a blingy Retriever worth more than a blingy Skiff? He equipped some ORE Strip Miners and, like Don, kept some extras in his cargo. Agent Pod-Goo RepoWoman wiped them all out with a single Catalyst. The Retriever was anti-tanked, after all.

KILLMAIL

Back to business in Niarja as usual: Akice Kerensky had no idea what happened earlier in the week to one of her fellow freighter pilots. And if she did know, she didn't care--for she was high on the drug of bot-aspirancy. It is a lethal drug. Agents Georgia Rackner, Ashlee Rackner, Jani Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Emily Rackner, Jemma Rackner, Kirra Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Olivia Rackner, Zoe Rackner, Globby Rackner, Charlotte Rackner, Kimberly Rackner, Ivy Rackner, eviserater Adoudel, Yan Rackner, and Benji Rackner administered an emergency dose of the Code.

People still use Excavators?

KILLMAIL

We don't often see Zephyrs on Kills of the Week posts, but Aseig's Zephyr contained a juicy egg. Agent Pod-Goo RepoWoman took a break from ganking blingy Retrievers to perform the task that gave the Agent her name.

Carebears, why rely on blingy implants? You don't need to hide behind them. What are you so afraid of, anyway?

William's Rage, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Highsec miner William Rageclaw flew into a rage when Agent Alt 00 ganked someone else's blingy Mackinaw in the Nakugard system. Our Agent urged William to calm down--but the rebellious carebear insisted he was fine.

Agent Alt 00 has found that artwork--good artwork--can sometimes have a calming effect on miners. But if anything, seeing a portrait of the Saviour of Highsec only made William even more unsettled.

As it happened, the troubled miner was actually the CEO of his own corporation. What sort of corporation, you ask?

...Exactly as you'd expect. William's corp was of the "maybe we'll leave highsec someday" variety. As if teaching people to mine AFK somehow prepares them for life in null--and only if you do it long enough. Needless to say, carebears in such corps stay in highsec until they quit the corp or, more likely, quit EVE.

Happily, Leia Jadesol entered Nakugard and paid proper respect to our Agent. Maybe Leia would be a good influence.

Unfortunately, there were also some crabby miners in the system who supported William's cause.

Hoping to rescue William from his self-destructive tendencies, Alt 00 warned him of what was to come. But the miner was confident in his Orca's EHP.

At an absolute minimum, Alt 00 was superior to William when it came to spelling.

For just 10 million isk, the miner could begin the process of not making a fool of himself. The price was too high for someone as greedy as William, though.

Our Agent once again called upon the power of her paintbrush.

William went silent for a moment, perhaps taking time to admire the artwork created by his nemesis.

The miner did review the art, but his twisted soul could not comprehend it.

Though they call themselves "industrialists", carebears are incapable of creating anything of their own. They are creatures of rot and decay.

William revealed himself to be a barbarian. He valued neither culture nor civilization. Luckily, Alt 00 stood ready to defend both.

To be continued...

William's Rage, Part 1

The EVE galaxy can be a cruel wasteland. But it doesn't have to be.

Too often, systems in empire space find themselves infested by miners and mining drones. Who will save highsec?

Baron VonCratton had a frightful bio. Was he the one?

No, Baron was just a guy with a 700 million isk Mackinaw. A bio can be misleading. So how do the good people of highsec know where to look for a true champion?

Ah, here we are. It's the people who enforce the Code.

Nakugard's silence was broken when the Agents of the New Order breathed their life into the system.

True to form, William Rageclaw raged. He couldn't shake the petrifying feeling that he might be the next miner to wind up as someone else's killmail. He disguised his selfish fears by voicing his concern for "new players".

Agent Alt 00 trumpeted her great victory over Baron's blingy Mackinaw by quoting her favorite author. This, in turn, caused William to confirm his own status--he was a Goblok.

The Nakugard population was split: Some favored the Code; others aspired to be bots. Our Agent ruled over them all.

William wasn't the only bot-aspirant in the system that day, but he was the most vocal. Did he have ambitions to raise a full-scale rebellion?

Agent Alt 00 has seen many would-be rebel leaders in her day. It never ends well for them. A much better option for William was to sit down, shut his mouth, and buy a mining permit. Alt 00 politely presented this attractive alternative.

William outed himself as an anti-Code miner. Yes, even in 2019 they still exist.

Like the other unlicensed miners, William felt very insecure about his place in EVE. He pretended to be enjoying the game, but he convinced no one--least of all himself.

Alt 00 wanted to help, but William only wanted to rage. And there was every chance that if he continued in this manner, William Rageclaw's rage might bring the judgment of the Code upon him some tragic way.

To be continued...

Whatever the Opposite of Blackmail Is

A miner accuses an Agent of only caring about himself and getting money? Talk about projection.

BigAL Winther tried to get away with violating the Code, but he failed. BigAL's life of crime was a dumb idea from the start. It was only a matter of time before our Agents came knocking.

Agent Minx Mattel has made a career of bringing bot-aspirants to justice. She fears nothing.

Minx was eager to get the miner a permit. Based on her experience, she knew that if BigAL resisted, there was a greater likelihood that the miner would wallow in self-pity and rants about "new players".

...It was worth a shot, anyway.

(In case you were wondering, BigAL started playing EVE nearly two years before he lost his fail-fit Venture.)

BigAL belonged to an alliance with nearly 7,000 members. Naturally, it was up to our Agent to teach him the game and talk him out of quitting. BigAL's "friends" were nowhere to be found.

A lot of miners talk about "the principle" when refusing to buy a permit. Or they accuse our Agents of "harassment" and "extortion". Presumably all of this blackmail stuff was in the same vein.

More than anything else, BigAL feared being trolled. Actually, though, it was BigAL who had essentially baited Agent Minx into ganking him.

When miners talk about themselves, they tend to confess their crimes. Without any prompting, BigAL admitted that his other account was even older--and that he had plenty of experience with losing mining ships. "New player" indeed!

Minx spoke nothing but sweet reason. If this miner was acting in good faith, what else could he do but comply?

BigAL made confession after confession. He admitted to having plenty of money to buy a permit. He openly declared his bot-aspirancy by saying he couldn't pilot a Venture outside of highsec (despite the fact that CCP deliberately created Ventures for mining outside of highsec). BigAL even conceded that the New Order wasn't breaking the rules. But the old miner stuck to his guns on the "new player" nonsense, despite being a 2-year player who had an even older main account.

No wonder BigAL accused Minx of blackmail: The miner's conscience was completely weighed down with guilt! Alas, he would not accept the freedom of the Code.