Friday, July 26, 2013

The Atonement of Chunk

It's the feel-good story of the week.


Agent Lord Mandelor, whose many heroic deeds have been recounted in these pages, sent a report from Kamio. Having won victory over some space bronies in Ikao, he was eager to test his mettle in one of the original New Order territories.


Mandelor, along with Agents Lord Kailethre and Father Julius, stood ready with Catalysts. They offered the rebel miners terms by which they might surrender. Scoffing, Lucien Mekhet alerted everyone to the Catalysts. But he was using his D-scan. That's progress!


chunk1993 emerged as the spokesman for the rebel forces. He denounced the Code in front of everyone in the system.


Unfortunately, the rebellion's command-and-control apparatus stumbled out of the gate. When Lucien quoted James 3:15, chunk1993 thought it was a quote of mine, and ZemaG DniM threatened to petition his fellow rebel.


Just like that, organized resistance fell to pieces.


Though he had alienated the other Code-deniers in system, chunk1993 remained loyal to his own corp. He guarded their mining vessels with an Armageddon Navy Issue.


Finding the rebels an unseemly bunch, Lucien began to wonder if he should switch sides. chunk1993 wasted no time in escalating the situation and dove straight for his pile of real-life death wishes.


But immediately afterward, he sent a convo request to Lord Mandelor. Did he intend to spit his venom in a more private setting?


Incredibly, chunk1993 apologized. The New Order is practically synonymous with mercy in highsec, so Mandelor instantly forgave the wayward lad.


There was a controversy surrounding the permit status of some of the miners under his guard. chunk1993 was no longer sure he could trust them.


The New Order's work is never done. Lord Mandelor was able to negotiate a satisfactory arrangement and get everything settled.


After just a short time in the presence of the New Order, chunk1993 became an entirely different person.


chunk1993 departed, a smile on his face and a "long live James 315" in his heart. My name is an salutary salutation in any situation. If someone greets you with a "long live James 315" or ends a conversation with a "hail James 315", you know they're one of the good guys.

16 comments:

  1. Faith in humanity - restored.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is a beautiful story. I've got a tear in my eye right now...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Personally I want to see more of this Lucien Mekhet chap

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've encountered him a few times in hisec local systems recently, but it appears he's moved off into the fringes of Amarr space.

      He doesn't appear to be warning people of impending catalyst anymore.

      -LK

      Delete
  4. this blog post was not cake.. i am not happy it was not cake.

    make it more like cake next time please.

    mmm, Cake.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ah, so we can expect to see more of Father Julius and Lords Mandelor and Lord Kailethre in Kamio.

    Thanks for the update. We'll be sure to drop in and mine some ice sometime.

    It'll be fun.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The New Order makes EVE so much more worth taking part.

    If it wasn't for the New Order I wouldn't play EVE.

    In-fact, I'd probably be extremely intoxicated and high on cocaine right now with deep bass music in the background whilst I have hour-long conversations with people that I won't even remember tomorrow.

    The New Order changed my life!

    Long live the New Order and James 315!

    ReplyDelete
  7. "They lied to me those buttsticks"

    ReplyDelete
  8. Rao, E's vaameh' denat
    So desa ec kuha dutyo
    Oui vmend fedr cieleta
    Cusadesac dryd'c ugyo
    Tu fryd udranc cyo
    E's rana cdyhtehk rummuf
    Vymmehk yfyo vnus sa
    Vymmehk yfyo vnus sa

    Dra tyo ec rana, vytehk
    Dryd'c frah E's ehcyha
    E vmend fedr cieleta
    Cusadesac gemm dra byeh
    E lyh ymfyoc cyo
    Ed'c kuhhy pa paddan dusunnuf
    Vymmehk yfyo vnus sa
    Vymmehk yfyo vnus sa

    Paydehk sa tufh
    Paydehk sa, paydehk sa
    Tufh, tufh
    Ehdu dra knuiht
    Clnaysehk cusa cuiht
    Paydehk sa, paydehk sa
    Tufh, tufh
    Ehdu dra knuiht

    Vymmehk yfyo vnus sa
    Ed'c cbehhehk nuiht yht nuiht
    Vymmehk yfyo vnus sa
    Ed'c mucd yht lyh'd pa vuiht
    Vymmehk yfyo vnus sa
    Ed'c cbehhehk nuiht yht nuiht
    Vymmehk yfyo vnus sa
    Drnuf ed tufh

    Paydehk sa tufh
    Paydehk sa, paydehk sa
    Tufh, tufh
    Ehdu dra knuiht
    Clnaysehk cusa cuiht
    Paydehk sa, paydehk sa
    Tufh, tufh
    Ehdu dra knuiht

    Dfecdehk sa
    Drah fymg yfyo
    Cu E bnyo
    Ku yfyo

    Meva'c vymmehk yfyo vnus sa
    Ed'c vymmehk yfyo vnus sa
    Meva'c vymmehk yfyo vnus sa
    Vilg!

    Paydehk sa tufh
    Paydehk sa, paydehk sa
    Tufh, tufh
    Ehdu dra knuiht
    Clnaysehk cusa cuiht
    Paydehk sa, paydehk sa
    Tufh, tufh
    Ehdu dra knuiht
    Vymmehk yfyo vnus sa
    Paydehk sa paydehk sa
    Vymmehk yfyo vnus sa
    Tufh, tufh
    Ehdu dra knuiht
    Vymmehk yfyo vnus sa
    Clnaysehk cusa cuiht
    Paydehk sa, paydehk sa
    Vymmehk yfyo vnus sa
    Tufh, tufh
    Ehdu dra knuiht

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ahh just like I figured a nice happy story to cover up the scam of the last one nice pr work but I'm sure it won't work on everybody.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This was great, Chunk started as one of the most rude and unpleasant players I read about here, and in the blink of an eye it turned into a reasonable, gentle person you're happy to talk with.

    This was a very nice read.

    ReplyDelete
  11. What a crock of shit! Just revamped edited bollocks to try & atone for the disgracefull deliberate humilliation & exploitation on the previous blog post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you seem to be confusing disgracefull with hillarious.

      Delete
    2. You know what's disgraceful Anon 6:58? Your rude comment. Chunk1993 is a lot better than you.

      Delete
  12. A beautiful tale. Those accusing this as a "distraction" from the last article fail to see mandelor

    ReplyDelete

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