Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Brony Conspiracy, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Among the bronies of the Cutie Mark Crusaders Militant Coalition, there were a few bad apples. Botten Miromme raged against the New Order before jumping ship to a different corp. But then that corp's alliance declared war against the corp to which Agents Lord Mandelor and Father Julius belonged.


After Botten suffered a grievous loss in the war, he suddenly left his new corp. Julius demanded an explanation.


Botten suggested he had been kicked, presenting a new mystery. What was at the source of all this nonsense?


Father Julius and Lord Mandelor went directly to the hostile corp's diplomat, Hawkred Joringer. She was more than happy to speak with them.


Botten, it seemed, didn't meet the corp's rigorous requirements.


Specifically, his Hyperion loss raised doubts about his ability to PvP.


Hawkred was able to shed some additional light: Botten had indeed been behind the wardec.


As our Agents suspected, Botten was up to his usual tricks. When the truth was uncovered, it didn't win him any friends among his new corp.


Though a wardec was still active, the two sides came together. They bonded by sharing tales of Botten's incompetence.


As usual, where the rebels spread chaos and disorder, the New Order brings harmony and friendship.


A brony might say that friendship is magic. We in the New Order have a more scientific view. Friendship is built on trust, integrity, respect, honour, and a Code firmly grounded in common sense.

37 comments:

  1. Forgot to add: "When it suits us"

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    1. You forgot to add the detail of to which sentence that should be appended. Typical rebel.

      Delete
  2. This botten guy claimed that simply having his G0T tag instantly made him invincible when he wardec'd my old corp. And he winds up getting blapped twice in horribly-fitted ships
    ~McCope McCopenhagen

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  3. It's sad to see how low a pilot can go if he rejects the Code.

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  4. Hail Mandelor the Pony-Slayer!

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  5. So many people named Anonymous! You're like a bunch of Stormtroopers. Just mindless, faceless drones. :D

    And for the record, Botten might be incompetent, but he has the right idea. Guerrilla warfare is a perfectly legitimate tactic, when used correctly.

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    Replies
    1. Having the right idea but messing it up with incompetent execution still makes you incompetent.

      Also, a tryhard.

      Delete
    2. Hey now, drones have faces. http://i.imgur.com/sIAUVLy.png

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    3. Drone Amplifier UnitJuly 31, 2013 at 6:33 AM

      If being a mindless drone with an ugly face is better than being a mindless AND faceless drone, than Branden Jensen is one lucky mindless drone.

      Delete
    4. honestly I'm too lazy to put my name most of the times. Guerrilla warfare a legit tactic in Eve? Well no shit, you must be new here. Welcome to 2004 dumbass.

      Delete
    5. Branden is obsessed by anonymous dudes, because he has no other argument.

      He has yet to understand that a post must be judged by the word it contains, not by the internet name of its poster.

      Also Branden...there are many Branden Jensen in the world. You should put a picture of yourself and an address, or else you're just as anonymous.

      Z

      Delete
    6. Nameless drones, maybe.

      Mindless drones...that's you, Branden:

      You keep repeating the same thing about names over and over. You keep coming here even if you don't like this blog. You have nothing to add to the discussion other than insulting the posters from your high named horse.

      And the effectiveness of Botten's idea has been demonstrated by its failure.

      Delete
    7. So I was going to give some excuse about not responding because I have a life, but screw that. I've been working from home all week anyways. :P

      I was hoping some legit comments might pop up, but it seems to just be more mindless stormtroopers with terrible aim. :)


      If you're trying to debate and/or argue with someone, you need to actually have facts.

      Fact 1: I've officially referenced the "Anonymous" issue twice now.

      Fact 2: Very few of you who post anonymously seem keen on providing legitimate comments. You like to throw back the same argument that someone has already used on you, and provide grade-school replies that are effectively just "I'm rubber, you're glue."

      Fact 3: For Anon 3:17 - There's actually a lot of definitions for "tryhard" these days, but you might be wise to look at all of them. By several of the definitions, the entire New Order is "tryhard."

      Fact 4: Sol, you should shave that drones ass and teach it to fly backwards. :P

      Delete
    8. None of those facts are actually facts. Some are opinion, some are false.

      Delete
    9. Hum, I'm late for the party (the discussion) that you are having but I'll still reply to you Branden because your comment is quite stupid.

      I read the previous article about the "brony conpiracy" and saw some of your comments there so I think I read enough to make a valid reply to you.

      I'll reply to your "facts"

      fact 1 - People don't have an account or they just don't wanna bother going through the login procedures to make a simple comment, but as you can see, some people do leave their name below their coments, so it's not entirely anonymous.

      fact 2 - some people really don't care about what people think of their playstile, so they will make jokes about people that criticize them, this is a game, and some of the people that complain about the new order are taking the game way too serious.

      fact 3 - New order guys like to role play while having fun (from my perspective) i see nothing wrong with that, some of them are indeed "tryhards", but honestly it is still funny.

      Delete
    10. Fact Tutor: The only non-factual bit there was #4, regarding the drone.

      Bydoritos:

      Regarding Fact 1- What are you talking about? You're not even addressing what I said in the 2 previous instants I made any comment about anonymous posters.

      Regarding Fact 2- You're defending people who provide grade school replies? They call that "Backing the wrong horse."

      Regarding Fact 3- I have no issue with people who like to role play, but any healthy game environment supports both mentalities. The New Order isn't supporting this concept, they're saying "We'd really like to annihilate you, but since we can't completely accomplish that we'll settle for forcing you to play our way."
      ^This, by the way, qualifies them as jackasses. :)

      Delete
    11. " The New Order isn't supporting this concept, they're saying "We'd really like to annihilate you, but since we can't completely accomplish that we'll settle for forcing you to play our way."
      ^This, by the way, qualifies them as jackasses. :)"

      Tell that to the many players who embraced the New Order, like the old enemy Capt Lynch. They have found a new way to enjoy EVE, they found out why eve is not boring like many says: you have to create your own game, like the New Order did. Many, many players started to enjoy the game again or even created an account just to be part of this and have fun. Your view is one-sided.

      EVE is different from other games because it allows players to create and organize things like the New Order. Don't like it? Then you don't like the philosophy behind EVE.

      Delete
  6. I can't wait until the adventures of the New Order are adapted to the new EVE TV show. Who do you think will play James? Ryan Gosling, Jake Gyllenhaal? I expect such a role will be in demand once word gets out in hollywood.

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    1. Denzel Washington will play James 315.

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    2. Sean Connery is the only one cool enough

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    3. Arnold Schwarzenegger is the only one who is badass enough in my opinion.

      ---Alistair Drake

      Friendly Neighborhood Scoundrel

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    4. Don't get me wrong Arnold is a fine choice but in my opinion he lacks the subtlety of James. So personally i see in the James's role Christoph Waltz. A badass and a brain in the same package.

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    5. I see your point, although I'm not familiar with the movies Mr. Waltz was in, haven't watched them. What about roles like Mine Teck, or Moonsong Miner, or dare I say... uhh, I got nothing else.

      ---Alistair

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    6. Mine Teck hmm clearly Louis de Funès one of the best comedians ever.Yeah i know is dead but oh boy what a movie with Mine Teck played by Funes. Moonsong on the other hand...... that's a tough one.

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    7. Daniel Craig should play the part of uber slick & deadly New Order Knight Guybertini.

      - Guybertini

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    8. I was thinking Jack Black for Mine Teck since both seem very "all over the place" in terms of personality, they're both very wacky. But that's just my opinion. Moonsong, you're right that is hard.

      ---Alistair

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    9. Guys have it all wrong on James. You want to cast him as some sort of muscle bound shredder of enemies. That is not James' way. He doesn't out muscle his enemies, he out thinks them. He is of course handsome and dashing though.. so I give you the perfect star to play James 315: Kevin Bacon.

      Delete
    10. You have to admit the Savior is pretty badass, but looking up KB on imdb I could go either way. Maybe the "muscle bound shredder of enemies" image could go to Currin Trading?

      ---Alistair

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    11. I think we'll need acting talent for the following characters:

      James 315 (and his alterego, Currin Trading - potentially two separate actors)
      Mine Teck
      Moonsong Miner
      Ledrian Saisima
      Anslo

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    12. James 315: Christoph Waltz (watch Inglorious Basterds, then ttake his character and imagine him as a good and merciful leader who outsmarts his enemies).

      Mine Teck: Rick Moranis

      Moonsong Miner: Renée Zellweger

      Ledrian Saisima: Rowan Atkinson

      Anslo: Ben Stiller

      Delete
  7. I love you all.

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  8. Botten Miromme next joined "Wicked Inglorious Carebears"... and was gone in 11 days. Now he's re-attached himself (imagining a parasite) to "Rules of Acquisition" (is that Ferengi roleplay?). Apparently, they are not aware of his misadventures since his last stint with them.

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  9. They're underestimating botten. They'll learn soon enough..

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    Replies
    1. What underestimating is there? He put blasters on a stealth bomber and a PvE fitting on a Hyperion when he was expecting a fight in PvP. I expected more but his actions prove he is too incompetent to be assessed as a risk. Even check his losses on the kill boards, those fittings are awful.

      Delete
    2. Be quite Botten your an idiot!

      Delete
  10. Do bronies still pull the "love and tolerance" line to justify their terrible behavior?

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'M JACKING OFF IN THE COOKIE JAR

    ReplyDelete

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