Monday, July 8, 2013

The Rumble in Vattuolen, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... caveywavey flew into a rage when his Hulk was relocated during a routine bumping operation. As tensions rose, threats of violence were murmured in the belts.

One way of defusing a potentially volatile situation is to calmly explain what you're doing while you're doing it.

It was very important to help the illegal miner understand that he was being punished for his crimes, and that I was not taking action out of any ill will directed toward him personally.

Meanwhile, strightnightmare Ornulf threatened to send his entire corporation against me for interfering with his Retriever.

I did my due diligence on strightnightmare's corp. They posed no threat.

After informing strightnightmare that his corp was in a uniquely bad position to fight me, he immediately surrendered.

Suddenly caveywavey experienced a revelation: This was extortion!

During periods of upheaval, there are often conflicting geopolitical claims to a territory. I contended that the system belonged to the New Order, while caveywavey insisted that highsec belongs to no one. The trouble is, "no one" is not a very organized or passionate interest group. The New Order has the edge.

As is my custom, I defended myself against all the aspersions being cast against my character. Having successfully defended my honour, I resumed my important work.

caveywavey had devilishly crept back to the ore. But after he activated his mining lasers, I pounced. Another victory for the New Order!

caveywavey worked the "extortion" square in Miner Bingo like it was going out of style. For some reason, he kept capitalizing it. Did he have a unique take on the subject?

...No, he just preferred to capitalize his favorite words.

Fortunately, things began to quiet down in Vattuolen. Yet it was an eerie calm.

Out of nowhere, a Caracal that had been yellowboxing me opened fire. Murder! Betrayal! Was this the end of the New Order, or would my Invincible Stabber demonstrate its Invincibility once more?

Next: The most shocking MinerBumping episode yet!


  1. I can't wait to read what happens next!

  2. The bit about capitalization slew me.

  3. AAAARGGGHHHUUUHH! I'm clawing my eyes out in anticipation! Why do you do this to us James?!?!

    /B52's voice/ Will the invincible Stabber remain invincible?!? Will these vile code-violators finally prevail??? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ONNNNNN MINERBUMPING!

    -Galaxy Pig

  4. Oh dear... 1k hits might actually be a problem if from assault missiles. Even if the invincible stabbed survives to bump another day, this will have been the most damage it's sustained.

  5. I'll go out on a limb and predict the Invincible Stabber remained invincible.

  6. It's not a surprise if you've already tagged this post "Victory." :(

    1. Oh, this is interesting. I looked up Kaldar Andedare's history and just yesterday, he slew a New Order agent -- Bing Bangboom -- using an assault-fitted Caracal. Bing Bangboom was flying a Stabber Fleet Issue at the time, but it wasn't fitted to be Invincible.

    2. Kaldar also had help from someone in a Vexor.

    3. Oh, right, hadn't even seen that on the mail.

    4. Carebears managed to suicide gank Bing Bangboom's stabber, but it was an inefficient kill as they lost too much ISK to do it. And we know that for carebears ISK is more important than having fun.

    5. What's the insurance payout on an SFI, anyway? Is it close to the ship's buy price?

  7. The Invincible Stabber... in danger? Preposterous!

  8. Vattuolen is a 0.7... no way.

  9. I also predict the Invincible Stabber shall emerge victorious.

    -- Mike Adoulin

  10. I see your truuuuuue colours shining through...

  11. Gah!!! The suspense! Its killing me!

    But seriously, unless James 315 changed the Invincible Stabber's fitting, he still wins that fight.

    -- Philadunc Arsten

  12. I can't wait to learn what happened next! This certainly looks like a more perilous onset than the blaster Catalyst who opened fire on the Saviour from 30km.

  13. Anon 08:04 - Aww bless don't you just want to hug the carebear for trying yet failing so hard!

    I do enjoy teaching new players the ropes and sometimes, not often, there's the individual who will not learn, remember and adapt. I wonder if that's one of them or have they since learnt about range, optimal and fall off.


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