Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Baptism by Failure

There's a wind sweeping across the hills and plains of empire space. Some might call it an awakening.


I can scarcely count the number of groups that have declared themselves for the Code in recent months. They often set up shop in their home systems and create local branches of the New Order. Combined, they are radically transforming the terrain of highsec.


New chapters of the Order are already well-trained on their first day, just by reading MinerBumping. That's because carebears are pretty much the same everywhere.


Seen above, a typical Hulk. It has zero tank, empty rigs, and is begging for a gank that it inevitably receives.


Then there are the special snowflake fail-fits, such as the one piloted by michaelMeilinbourne. The Mackinaw had a few odd tank mods slapped on in a half-hearted way. These are breadcrumbs and do no honour to the Code. The New Order requires 100% compliance--minimum. Yet michael was surprised that our heroes managed to destroy his fail-fit Mackinaw. So when he returned to his keyboard--over forty minutes later, according to the timestamps--he voiced his dissatisfaction in local.
michaelMeilinbourne > RetiredSlave Mary Enowool Graaf Izalude carefull ppl these are gankers roaming the cluster but 1 isk kill rights on them now and a million bounties
Mary Enowool > Not butt hurt at all
Mary Enowool > Get your mining permits today
Mary Enowool > http://www.minerbumping.com/p/the-code.html
michaelMeilinbourne > niether am I got more mining ships on hand and that 1 made me about 400 million this past weekend
Agent Mary Enowool tried to comfort the angry miner. At first, the carebear pretended he wasn't upset. Mary wanted to make sure. The best way to get to the heart of the matter is to use the Code. Carebears react to it like vampires to a cross.
michaelMeilinbourne > go fuck urself code u a bunch of bad wanna-be goonies
michaelMeilinbourne > excuse me meant baby wanna be's
Graaf Izalude > The code teaches people to be respectful in local
michaelMeilinbourne > do u?
michaelMeilinbourne > this is our terriority GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
michael erupted in a volcanic display. This is something people tend not to do if they really have "more mining ships on hand".
michaelMeilinbourne > or I will personally hire MTA to hunt u all down for the next 6 months
michaelMeilinbourne > carriers make nice bribes
Mary Enowool > for a loss you were laughing off earlier you seem pretty angery
Mary Enowool > Bot-Aspirant behavior can do that to you
michaelMeilinbourne > u are CODE that pisses me off u are a bunch of goonie slaves and just left a goon ally out in null maybe just report u to them also
His hangar empty, michael vowed revenge. He would hire "MTA" (powerful highsec mercenaries?) and pay them with free carriers. michael also resurrected the old conspiracy theories about the New Order being run by Goons. I haven't heard those in a while.
Mary Enowool > I have made no threats or big talk, I am here to save you from your Bot-Aspirant ways
Mary Enowool > there is salvation
michaelMeilinbourne > thugs and goons at least fight u these biatches just run around and gank defenseless ppl
Mary Enowool > By believing in the code. you can become strong
michaelMeilinbourne > I don't bot but if u wanna kill bots go find the guy whose name ends in KG he runs 3 or 4 of them daoly idiots
michaelMeilinbourne > or wait did he call u cause he got warned about bots
As it turned out, michael was naturally conspiracy-minded. Immediately after his attempt to deflect attention toward other miners, he wondered aloud whether botters were behind the New Order. Because apparently no one does good things out of the goodness of their hearts anymore? Highsec can be a cynical place somtimes.
Mary Enowool > But you aspire to be them, that is why we are here to save you
michaelMeilinbourne > shove ur permit up ur ass
Mary Enowool > The first step is admission that there is a problem
michaelMeilinbourne > yes there is its called CODE
Mary Enowool > Thanks for the bounty, anger is the first response of a bot-aspirant, I will take that as a compliment, Thank you michaelMeilinbourne
michaelMeilinbourne > bounty was pocket change to me and I don't bot never have and never will I kill bots myself
Mary Enowool > but you do not understand, you aspire to be one
If you don't know what bot-aspirancy is, Mary summed it up pretty well. Bot-aspirants are players who strive to be as much like bots as possible, maximizing automation, and who would use macros if they were allowed. If you enjoy letting your Mackinaw chew rocks for 40 minutes while you're AFK, you probably wish the ship could mine on its own for even longer. This is a selfish way to play EVE, grinding isk while not providing highsec with emergent content.
Mary Enowool > Bot-aspirant behavior is not permitted.
Mary Enowool > No AFK mining allowed. All miners are expected to remain at their keyboards at all times, and are required to prove their presence by responding in local when requested by the Supreme Protector or one of his Agents.
michaelMeilinbourne > FOAD BIATCH
Mary Enowool > Keep local clean. Miners should be courteous in local and should refrain from the use of profanity.
michaelMeilinbourne > go play with urself
Mary Enowool > why are you so mad, we are only trying to help you
michaelMeilinbourne > bye bye Biatch
Reading from the Code is enough to make a carebear show his true colors. As Mary fearlessly recited verses from the Code, michael shrieked with rage. This isn't something a good miner does.


It might be hard to believe, but weeks on, michael didn't even apologize for his foul behavior by EVEmail or anything. His debt to Mary and the other Agents remains unpaid. But that's what separates Agents from other elements in EVE--we don't give up after weeks, or even months. The New Order will keep up our work for many years if necessary. And good will prevail.

23 comments:

  1. the MTA?

    http://www.mta.info/

    ReplyDelete
  2. BeBopAReBop RhubarbPieMay 6, 2014 at 9:57 PM

    Metro Transit Authority?

    ReplyDelete
  3. From the website: "The cost of a SingleRide ticket is $2.75. Sold at vending machines only."

    a 10 million isk permit is still cheaper...

    ReplyDelete
  4. You guys need to start linking angry carebears to this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSxNW5dDYEY

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  5. This carebear is going to make it tough on the rest of us when we also try to pretend we don't care that we lost our ship. Gah.

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  6. At least he didn't wish rape onto any innocent girls. Seriously, that dude was fucked up.

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  7. As a true newbie, not one of those "been around 6 years" folks, I thank James 315 from afar for this great service that he is providing the game, and myself. I confess that I have nto lived up to my responsibilities as a capsuleer, and have been known to resort to high sec mining. Of course, I've been in for just over a month, so hopefully, the gracious Order will understand. If needing to pursue these activities in the future, I will be sure to do so legally and with respect.

    Reviewing the comments, the stories, and the heroics of the Order has provided me with a goal. Of course, through this life, one must take the long view. But some day, I want to be able to serve the Order and the Code as effectively as these shining paladins have to this point.

    o7 to you all and I look forward to meeting you and discussing the Code while at work. I look forward to making your acquaintances and assisting in whatever manner I can to promoting and enforcing the necessary mission!

    - Liang Ren

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    Replies
    1. You can do it today now. It is the greatest myth that you need to train lots and lots of skills in order to show up and make a difference. You don't. One or two skills that take an hour or less can be enough.

      If you keep putting off the time you step up to the plate, it will be harder and actually take longer to do, so do it straight away before breakfast.

      Delete
    2. If you really understood, you'd quit being a highsec carebear chicken**** and join a mining corp in low- or null-sec. Greater (r)isk. ;)

      I'm just saying...

      Delete
    3. Sir,

      I'm sorry, but you are just saying what, exactly? I have said I plan to abide by the Code, and look forward to enforcing it. I fail to understand why such a statement requires ad hominem insults.

      Perhaps there is a kernel of truth to the carebear stereotype trumpeted across these pages?

      -Liang Ren

      Delete
    4. Liang, the moment he recommended mining in low-sec is the moment his opinion stopped mattering.

      With that said you'll find many CODE. members are in fact just looking to project their own anger on other people, hence the comment above.

      CODE. really has nothing to do with making high-sec better, the whole thing is just a guise for trolling. As someone who understand EVE very well, I can tell you that bot-aspirant AFK mining in high-sec brings in the most ISK/hour when done properly than any other activity. That includes mining with the same sized fleet in nullsec.
      Yes, you make more with the exact same setup in highsec.

      Delete
    5. (cont)
      The reason you make more in high-sec with any given mining setup of course comes from the ease of use. In high-sec you can effectively mine while doing other things that would otherwise not allow you to game. For instance house chores, making food, walking the dog... if I start up my mining fleet only before doing such things, and never at any other points in time, I still make more ISK than is required to PLEX the accounts.

      For 60 minutes of chores you're spending roughly 5 minutes or so actually managing the mining fleet. Thus the infamous argument that you'd make more ISK working a real job instead of mining is in fact false.

      High-sec bot aspirant mining is the way to be when mining, period. Enforcing against it for humor I support fully. Enforcing against it for anything else is quite honestly delusional. Let's consider how many nullbears and elite PVPers make their ISK off trading and manufacturing and PI. The most AFK, least emergent activities of all time. If you think AFK mining is bot-aspirant, I wonder where those activities land on such a scale...

      Delete
    6. Sir Anonymous,

      There is so much confusion in this long email that I cannot help but find you heavily conflicted. You both refer to "high-sec bot aspirant mining" as "the way to be, period" while also stating that other activities are more bot-aspirant.

      I think you miss the point of the Order. They are encouraging people to actually participate, and not do "house chores, making food, walking the dog." Do one or do the other, not both. But if choose AFK, so be it. Just don't whine when you get ganked. That's the risk you take for the isk.

      If one finds mining boring (i.e. does other tasks while mining AFK) perhaps one should find other outlets that are more interesting. But again, that's your choice. Regardless, as long as you are comfortable getting ganked while AFK, so be it.

      You call it trolling. Where does the EULA or anything else state that thou shalt have an unlimited right to AFK mining without being killed? Not trolling... Merely publication of suitable targets deserving of PvP attention. The challenge of PvPing under current mechanics in high sec also makes it particularly intriguing content.

      At least more intriguing than AFK mining, to be sure.

      Same goes for scamming and everything else. I actually see no reason why you would argue against the Code, unless you want gankers eliminated, preferably from on high rather than actually "doing something" abou it. If such is the case, I would suggest you take a page out of GSF and put some "effort" into solving the problem. That sounds like pretty good content to me, and a challenge.

      But if one is unwilling to defend the practice with the gun, well, valar morgulis.

      - Liang Ren

      Delete
    7. Liang Ren nah he isnt conflicted. Hes an intelligent carebear who gets it. "High-sec bot aspirant mining is the way to be when mining, period. Enforcing against it for humor I support fully. Enforcing against it for anything else is quite honestly delusional."

      See right there with that comment, he supports the entertaining way Code brings pvp to people who want to enjoy the game while reminding afkers that high sec IS NOT SAFE. This is a a pvp server. Yet he also understands that the current mining way of life is, to quote the great Psychotic Monk in his CSM thread, "a subscription killer". Most normal people cant consistently mine for hours at a time with no stimulus, you go crazy. Its boring as fk so they go afk.

      Code however they give stimulus, they bring danger and they eliminate the weak willed and the competition. Who knows, if we kill enough miners maybe the ones left mining will enjoy playing the game with us instead of walking their dogs?

      Really we gank because we care. This is for there own good.

      Delete
  8. Sir,

    I completely agree.

    - Liang Ren

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  9. Interesting. If anger is a compliment, is complete silence an insult?

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    Replies
    1. If that's the case, good. If there's anything at which I excel, it's giving people the silent treatment. :)

      Delete
  10. Hahahaha, michael trashing them in local, while another well known botter runs the belts free from interference. CODE. is a lie, and you can see the true botters move in after the gank fleets leave. Code compliant, my ass...

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    Replies
    1. The tinfoil is strong with this one.

      If you suspect a bot, gank it, then report it. If it truly is a bot, it will get banned usually within a month or so.

      But in the mean time, if it is not following the CODE, gank it.

      Delete
    2. I wish I could take back my last post. Apologies for my outburst. After having some serious thought on the matter, I've decided to repent my ways and seek enlightenment through intense meditation on the CODE.



      Delete
    3. I intend to continue to do as I wish and play Eve the way I choose to. Having CODE or anyone else try and tell me otherwise is a lesson for you in futility. Bring your ganks and your grief, I welcome it all. Bwahaha! My tinfoil hat is impervious to your lies. I truly hope you are just roleplaying and don't actually believe the tripe you spew.

      Delete
  11. Do you feel that? It's the calm right before the storm. The Terror Bear is nearby!

    ReplyDelete

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