Monday, May 19, 2014

The Most Overpowered Ships in EVE

There's been a lot of buzz lately about CCP Fozzie's most recent round of ship rebalancing. What ships are really overpowered? The answer might surprise you.


Agent Carry On Friend met up with some fellow Code enforcers in the Itamo system. They didn't know it yet, but they were about to witness the birth of a brand-new argument from the carebears who oppose the New Order.
Carry On Friend > Dear Residents we will be conducting Knight Training in Name of the New Order please have your permits ready and comply with the Code.
Elise Anneto > shove the code up ur a$$ ganking people with over powered shps grow up!
Our heroes were amazed by rebel carebear Elise Anneto. She accused the Agents of flying "over powered shps". Was she saying what it sounded like she was saying?
Carry On Friend > I'm sorry Hun, is there something worng? Would you like to learn about the Code?
Elise Anneto > No I dont want to lran about it. u guys just shoot everyone using stupid over powered ships and ruin it 4 everyone else
Elise Anneto > exploit gunboats to ruin others play high sec is ment to be safe not ruined
Carry On Friend > So......Your mad we use....... Catalysts?
Elise Anneto > and thrashers
Elise believed Catalysts and Thrashers were overpowered to the point of being "exploit gunboats". No wonder the resistance has been unable to stop the New Order. Our tech I destroyers--when fitted with guns, of course--are practically area-of-effect doomsday titans.
Carry On Friend > So your ok if we enforce the code in ships other than destroyers right?
Elise Anneto > u couldnt if you tried bitch high sec is ment to be safe
Elise Anneto > shove your code up ur a$$
Carry On Friend > PLease be poliet and keep local clean I have not insulted you at all and you need to remember some miners force thier childern to mine for them.
Elise Anneto > if that were real they would be loosers
Carry On Friend > See we agree on something, your closer to accepting the Code already.
Elise Anneto > fuk u
The Agents huddled together. Elise had challenged them to gank a miner without the use of Catalysts or Thrashers. What to do?


The turning point came when one of the Agents remembered that the power of the Code was with them. That clarified things, as it usually does.
Carry On Friend > Elise Anneto are you still there?
Elise Anneto > goto hell
Carry On Friend > I will take that as a yes, can I give you one more oppertunity to buy a permit or at least take your comments back and claim 24 hours of unharssed mining while you think about our offer.
Elise Anneto > stfu ganker i have my n2s friends to help me plus my corp will be biggr than yours soon
Carry On Friend > Please just remember that your iggnorance has done this to yourself.
Elise Anneto > fuck off or we will come get u
Elise ignored the Agents' final warning. Rather than buying a permit and pledging loyalty to the New Order, she relied upon her powerful nullsec friends.

Number of times powerful nullsec friends have protected highsec miners: 0


The mouthy miner went boom. Her Venture was ganked by a fleet of rookie ships. Not a single overpowered exploit gunboat was among them. The New Order proved its versatility once again.
Elise Anneto > fuckin cheters im going to hunt u down this is an alt
I Am Discord > Your mining equipment has been decommisioned for mining with out a permit in New Order Space.
Carry On Friend > You said you wouldn't mind if we didn't exploit destroyers.......
Elise Anneto > im going to kill you all nd ur first borns
As I've often said, it's not the ship--it's the man. Agents of the New Order are highly-trained Code-enforcement specialists. They're not merely experts at PvP; they're experts at elite PvP. Whether they use Catalysts, Thrashers, or even Ibises, they're guaranteed victory. CCP Fozzie can shuffle all the ship stats he wants, but even he can't nerf the Code.

15 comments:

  1. I knew there'd be a killmail involved in this post, but when I saw what ships the Agents used, I couldn't help but LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Noobship ganking ventures is immensely satisfying. You can do in a no-tank Venture *solo* in a .7 with a meta 0 Velator. In a .6, you've got a shot at the pod.

    Nothing is too cheap to be ganked by a noobship.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Argh, that constant misuse of "your" and "you're" makes my brain hurt. You're an idiot and your spelling shows it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7E-aoXLZGY

      Says it all really.

      Delete
    2. Even though I enjoyed reading the story, my eyes are still bleeding after reading all those spelling mistakes.

      - loosers
      - oppertunity
      - iggnorance
      - decommisioned

      just to name a few examples. Both the agents and the carebear should be ashamed of themselves.

      Delete
  4. I love surprise endings! M. Knight Shim... shama... shil.. whatever his name is would have a hard time coming up with a better twist!

    ReplyDelete
  5. No one can nerf the Code!

    -Oink

    ReplyDelete
  6. another great read :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Carry On Friend > PLease be poliet and keep local clean I have not insulted you at all and you need to remember some miners force thier childern to mine for them.
    Elise Anneto > if that were real they would be loosers
    Carry On Friend > See we agree on something, your closer to accepting the Code already.
    Elise Anneto > fuk u

    hahahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  8. Replies
    1. Alts are Magic!

      -EasyKill

      Delete
  9. The only thing better would have been using venture to pull off the gank. Can't claim a mini g ship is op.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Battle venture best venture!

      Delete
  10. Ganking in rookie ships .... priceless! Well done guys.

    Plus I lol'd at this ... "Our tech I destroyers--when fitted with guns, of course--are practically area-of-effect doomsday titans."

    Comedy gold!!

    - Guybertini

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm so pro, my alts mine high sec ore in a fail fit Venture!

    ReplyDelete

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