Friday, May 16, 2014

Mission of Mercy, Part 1

Sometimes you need to find just the right word when describing someone or summing up his character. Take the word "mensch", for example. According to Wikipedia, mensch means "a person of integrity and honor" or "a stand-up guy".


Meet Mrk9331. He spends his days running level 2 missions in highsec in a Myrmidon.


Mrk9331 is not a mensch.


Agent Malcolm Shinhwa was minding his own business, flying an Incursus-class frigate and taking loot from the wrecks of Mrk9331's mission rats.


Mrk9331 intended to breeze through the mission by keeping all of the mission rats' aggro on his Myrmidon, which could easily tank their attacks. His objective was to keep the aggro away from his drones, which could be destroyed by the rats. But Malcolm's activities caused the aggro to shift. Malcolm repeatedly warped in and out of the mission. Whenever Malcolm drew aggro and left the mission space, the aggro would switch to one of Mrk9331's drones.


Malcolm provided Mrk9331 with emergent content. He brought human interaction into Mrk9331's solitary, bot-aspirant gameplay. Mrk9331 was ungrateful. In less than half an hour, Mrk9331 joined the elite club of carebears who have openly wished real-life rape on other EVE players. Sadly, that club is growing less elite by the day.


Malcolm, like all Agents, was stoic. He remained courteous and professional. Everyone in local could see the contrast between the New Order and the rebels.


Almost miraculously, Malcolm was even willing to give the foul carebear some pointers on playing EVE correctly. After all, Mrk9331 was, as he said, just a "12 day old character".


...And this is why you never trust a carebear who claims to be a new player. Mrk9331 confessed that he actually started playing EVE six years ago. He's still in highsec and running level 2 missions. Bot-aspirancy had a stranglehold on the poor fellow.


Mrk9331 got philosophical. He proposed a new unified theory of carebearism. By cycling the mission rats' aggro, Malcolm was stealing Mrk9331's life-force. This is why Mrk9331 felt it was justified to wish rape upon him. All in all, the relationship between the two EVE players had grown a bit sour. Mrk9331 hated Malcolm. Would Mrk9331 finally use his Myrmidon to destroy Malcolm's fragile Incursus? Or did fate have something else in store for the Code violator?

To be continued...

33 comments:

  1. this mrk9331 is a regular wordsmith. shame the rats can't be talked into exploding

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good level-headed Carebear management by Malcolm there. I wasn't aware of this mechanic, so yet again, Miner Bumping is the go-to place for Eve-related advanced technical education.

    And peerless satirical comment.

    Sasha.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Mrk9331 got philosophical. He proposed a new unified theory of carebearism."

    LOL

    Philosophy and carebearism... Malcolm, I wonder what your female relatives would think of this verbose carebear you're trying to rescue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My wife's favorite phrase, because she can't say HTFU in front of the kids is:

      "Suck it up cupcake."

      So I don't think she would be very sympathetic to him.

      Delete
    2. 'Unified theory of carebearism' LMAO James you're a genius.

      I bet it's bloody hard to keep it entertaining while writing a post a day (even though carebears help you a bit), but it's lines like that one that keep me coming back for more!

      Delete
    3. @ Malcolm

      I'd say you have good taste in females. :)

      Delete
  4. man there are a lot of people I see in these stories who are going to get a serious fucking wake up call in RL when their entitled attitude pisses someone off. Carebears should be glad they learn that lesson here.

    ReplyDelete
  5. All I see in this blog-post is someone annoying someone else, with the excuse being im helping your gameplay.

    Sure I ninja salvage but I don't go out of my way to annoy the mission runners.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't see the disgusting overreaction to someone else just being in his mission pocket?

      Surely you don't agree with the sentiments or reaction of Mrk9331?

      Delete
  6. Agent: xxBLACK SKULLxx 929 iam awaiting your personal answer on this forum, please explain me why youre supporting a fleet of true bot, no iam not talking about 1 or 2 Retreivers.

    Please see the screenshot ive taken today:

    http://de.tinypic.com/r/oitcue/8

    To James 315,: do you really think it is supporting your CODE and make highsec more safe that now fleets of 37 SKIFFs are mining?

    To any AGENT anyone whois reading that: START BUMPING , declare war and kick out these STRAR TREK ENTERPRISE (Voayager)FANATICS out of the Eve universe. Were not in Star Trek universe were still in EVE highsec. Do you really think that is supporting YOUR Code of Halaima? You dont want see ICE Mining maschines?

    For me personal that was the first Bot fleet that ive seen, please share your experience now or be quiet for the rest of your eve live about a single miner in a Retriever who will be ganked you shouldnt do that, cause in my eyes thats not botting. What you see in the Screenshot : THAT IS REAL BOTTING

    Do something.....

    Or your whole project seems to be not longer active, cause you should really write a new conduct ver 2.0 ---> were only ganking miners who are alone, we will support BOT fleets, were so weak please send us more more.

    Iam really awaiting an answer of any agent or any other person who is reading that, but especially from James 315

    Thanks in advance for any answer
    (and of course of any action followed, but i think you wont do anything)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Greetings, Anon @ 12:54.

      Thank you for your report. All operators are busy right now so please hold. Alternatively, you may fit a Stabber or Catalyst of your own and join the New Order by helping destroy these game destroying bot fleets.

      Remember: The New Order consists of people concerned about the state of HiSec just like yourself, dear citizen. Be part of something great, destroy some bots, be part of the New Order!

      Delete
    2. shut up CAREBEAR these fleet of bots was protected by a force field near a POS, without declaring wardec it wouldnt be possible, it seems the quality of New Order Agents felt down last times(really much) . Or did you not watch the screenshoot? All these bots have a mining permit ,too? Strange isnt it? It seems the Agents of the glorious New Order are NOW supporting botting in highsec. You really should write a New Conduct, WE DO SUPPORT BOTS! Is that the new motto of the glorious New Order?

      Delete
    3. Anon 12:54 complains that the New Order "won't do anything" while -- wait for it -- not doing anything.

      Way to be the change you wish to see in the world, buddy.

      Delete
    4. citate from your "actual" code:"

      - Bot-aspirant behavior is not permitted.

      - No excessive mining. Miners should not fall into a routine of mining all day. I want well-rounded people in my system, not ice-mining machines."

      Please write a NEW CODE, followed by the motto : we do support bot fleets!!

      thanks in advance

      Delete
    5. of course as long as they pay their 10mill per year, we will allow bot fleets aof any amount of bots 30, 40 soon they will grow up to 50......just a question of time......

      Delete
    6. Of course nothing will happen. skiffs only get vicimtized if single and fail fitted. For this fleet, the PvP Maggots simply dont have the firepower. check this article, its just enough to bother others. codemaggots consists of very littly players with some skills and lots of PvP losers but be assured, you will hear a lot excuses WHY code-maggots will not attack this fleet.

      Delete
    7. Anon @ 12:54

      Thank you for slightly rewording your reply to a earlier topic and spamming it here again, even after your question was answered.

      I'll give you the tl;dr version of the answer again, to make it easy.

      Get ship. Fit ship. Bump them. Shoot them. Gather support of others and go bump them more and shoot them more. The CODE is not your personal army. There are thousands of bot-aspirants, AFK miners and bot miners all over New Eden - your intel is nothing special.

      Does this answer your question, or are you going to feel the need to not read the replies to your question and spew out the same thing again? Help us help you, ok?

      Delete
  7. If this 'bot fleet' was at a pos they weren't actually mining were they.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Here they come, the excuses...

    ReplyDelete
  9. "Take the word "mensch", for example. According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mensch, mensch"...
    According to wikipedia, this article has several problems.
    This article has multiple issues. Please help improve it or discuss these issues on the talk page.
    This article or section lacks a single coherent topic. (August 2012)
    This article needs additional citations for verification. (August 2012)
    This article appears to be a dictionary definition.

    "Mensch" is simpy a german word that translates into human or man but including woman as in mankind (translates as Menschheit).

    It does not mean:
    "a person of integrity and honor" or "a stand-up guy", at least not in german.

    Note: this guy didnt say his is only 12 days old, he asked malcom if he as a senior would attack a guy who seems to be attack 12 days olds.
    Well the answer is obvious: YES of course! code maggots always pray on the weakest.
    but where else can one release this childish awful propaganda, where the fanboys think the autor is a good writer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pretty sure the 'mensch' bit was a joke. No need to cudgel us with quotes from wikipedia.

      Delete
    2. Mensch is also yiddish slang from the german word for "human", meaning exactly what James said in his post.

      Delete
  10. btw:
    This is how Jimmy rewrites FAILED actions into a heroic victory. Malmaggot Shinwa tried to bait the Myrmidon, but the Guy ignored the bait.
    So another code failure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you need to wait for part two.

      Of course, since you post anonymously we won't see a "Wow, I was totally wrong and I stand corrected" from you when it comes out.

      Delete
    2. Why you mad all the time? Something you lost? It's okay, point on the mackinaw where the bad gankers fondled you.

      Delete
    3. it's really gotta suck being that mad all the time. he should follow the code and get some joy in his life

      Delete
    4. Wow! Captain Starfox, that's uh... really creepy.

      Delete
  11. Capt Starfox I forgot to congratulate you on taking first place in freighters killed during Burn Jita. That is a performance befitting our Chief Diplomat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Diplomacy at the barrel of a gun. Really the only diplomacy that works.

      Delete
    2. Thank you it was an honor being there.

      Delete
  12. kiss kiss kiss

    ReplyDelete
  13. What has this got to do with mining or being afk?

    ReplyDelete
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